tagTranssexuals & CrossdressersTowards a Surrender

Towards a Surrender


Please remember this is a copyrighted work and all legal disclaimers apply.

The following story is the first of four parts of a tale that explores the theme of transformation. It is thematically similar others that I have submitted but has a larger narrative arc. I hope you enjoy reading the first portion, Act One & Two.

I continue to work on better editing and someone has been most helpful.

Thank you for your comments


This story follows two people that are driven by the decision to participate in their mutual seduction and the need to settle on a way of living. These two individuals instigate changes to each other, each seeking to understand the other's will, and moving towards being something together. They abandon the will to say no, yet they alone are making decisions for themselves. Their shared desire for another matures around this understanding.

Preamble: Anais

I watched as Renee approached the table we had arranged. She was a woman nearing her forties and her body was still curvy, not too busty; she was fit. Her legs were tan and her dress fell in two tiers emphasizing her waist with half sleeves and a mid-thigh hem. She wore a heel covered with leopard-print faux leather. Renee had forwarded a photo of herself after we had been chatting on the Internet for nearly a month. Now we spoke every few days. She offered to help with my search. She had set up this meeting but I had selected the place. The meeting was to discuss how I might meet the woman I sought.

"Anais?" she said when I stood to greet her at the café table. We were near the Club, and Renee looked wonderful, "I will never get over the name," she said with a smile, "Was your mother a little crazy?"

I smirked having heard from many people similar feelings. "No, she was old school French. The name was also my great-grandfather's."

She sat on the opposite chair, the edge as if unsettled, and my eyes remained looking at her face though her aura was exciting. I caught a trace of her musky but floral scent. Her long caramel hair was up in a loose bun style; then I saw the dual braids. She had clearly prepared this look. Her smile helped my mood and she sat, and I did as well. I quietly studied her deportment as she shifted to relax in the chair and began.

"As I suggested on the phone yesterday, Anais, this is more of a creative project. We, I meant to say I, have discovered and will follow just two, and thus I will maintain my presence on the Alt site. These two people I have under consideration both meet the requirements."

Being a man of forty-three with growing investments I could have lessened my business activities. I needed someone though, and after being with Sasha for two weeks I knew that I wanted more from my next lover. Being attached to another person was a joy, and the early moments can set or cause a failure. I looked into Renee's eyes as I quickly re-explained the rendezvous several months ago. Sasha had been on the cruise with me. We met the second evening and spent the following eleven days and nights together. I was sad when she told me that she was not interested in a longer commitment. She had not actually transitioned but was quite convincing. She was a beautiful woman of twenty-seven, about five-seven with hazel eyes and soft brown hair that fell just barely to her shoulder. We had made love in new and exciting ways and I was smitten. When we parted, she had suggested that I find and help someone with her transition. She had to return to her job and would never do something like the cruise again. Her suggestion was difficult to address but she knew of other cross-dressers who would benefit from some aid. I struggled to resolve her idea for weeks afterward.

After several months, I met Renee on-line and she seemed able to help make a match, though she was clear that I would need to be very patient. I now hoped that Renee could be the liaison since I hadn't a clue what was involved. She told me of the one she called 'Lisa' first. As she spoke I removed the small box and placed it on the table; I had provided a gift in lieu of compensation, as she had requested.

Though she did not open the gift, she looked at it and then me. Renee looked up and smiled and now I let myself breath with ease again.

"As we discussed Anais, I will need several months, probably six or more, and you need to relax, be easygoing, and wait. I will enjoy finding a woman for you, as I will enjoy the voyeurism. You must be good to your word and promise to treat Lisa with care and respect, and never humiliate her. I need there to be this understanding and respect between you and myself."

So began the agreement that she would handle and direct her 'Lisa' and it was quite possible that I may never know or meet this new woman. Renee and I had agreed to let the person determine her path, but it was Renee's intent that we were supportive. The possible events ahead were not within either my or Renee's control. Only this Lisa would determine the relationship. Listening to Renee's proposal I wondered if the time and energy would prove to be of any use. I looked at Renee and considered her manner, and poise, I knew I would find a calm, and just wait, for her.

- - - - - - - -

Towards a Surrender

Instruction #6

'I shall be as clear as a ringing bell, follow this explicitly or don't. You must decide'

'Stand in the black heels and rose' undergarments at the corner of 9th Street and Robin at One this morning Do not turn to look at your visitor nor speak with her'

I had arrived at the deserted corner in the industrial park with ten minutes to spare and had driven about. There were no other cars or people. The complex was isolated and I was alone, but I could see car taillights speeding past, as the corner was near the main road, a street chosen carefully for near privacy. During the first minutes I stood waiting beneath the tall parking lot lights, my anxiety was high. The parking lot tall lights created sharply defined shadows, white to black, and I stood near the curved edge of the light field. I elected to standing at the edge of the darkness beyond. Several of the lights were unlit, which caused a dark zone. I looked at the elegant watch hanging on the silver chain about my neck. It was one of the items she had left for me the other night. After I waited about six minutes, I heard the noise of a car moving slowly, approaching from this unlit portion of the area. When the vehicle was close, but behind me, it stopped some distance away.

There was no further noise for some moments as I counted to one hundred. I shifted my position in my tall stilettos and listened. The headlights of the car were now shut off and I heard a sound; maybe the car door had been opened. Yes, now it was closed somewhere behind me. I did not turn to look, as the Instruction had been clear. My mind reeled as I heard the subtle sound of someone walking slowly towards me. The clicking sounds confirmed my visitor was female, walking slowly in heels. It was dark behind me, and I kept the Instruction in mind as the sounds indicated that the person walking towards me was closer. From a dark portion of the lot I heard the loose pebbles as her steps as she came nearer still. In the quiet of the vast space, my sense of time seemed to be measured by these steps and clicks of the stranger as she moved closer. A flash from a camera startled me, but I knew better than to call out. I was shaking with some fright, as she was now very near. Then the sound stopped. I just assumed that she had stopped walking. Another white blast of light, and I saw my shadow flashed across on the tarmac.

I listened and did not move. There was a soft sound of something hitting the pavement quite near, but I remained quiet. Then I heard a soft moan and the scuffing of stones moved by her heels.

I waited for her first words.

Months ago, I had posted on-line a request and for a couple of days I had trouble believing that the individual who responded was real. During the following two weeks I was convinced that she was just an illusion but now she was just behind me as I stood in the tall heels with my body exposed to her gaze. During these weeks she seemed to understand where my head wanted to go and her Instructions became my control. I had assumed that the notes were from a female but I hadn't met her requirements as of yet, and therefore she had been holding back. Now it was late, and I was slightly chilled, standing exposed, wearing the silky slip covering the rose' colored lace brassiere and thong, and the silky hose' as I waited for her next move.

"You have been handling your development for these months alone, and I appreciate the sacrifices that you have made, umm, Lisa."

Her voice was calm and soft, and yet I maintained my composure and resisted speaking or turning toward her voice. My anxiety was causing my palms to sweat, but I was here with her, where I wanted to be.

"I love how the rose' chemise falls across your bottom Lisa, and the silk follows the cleft of the valley between your cheeks." Her voice sounded aroused, and caused me to quiver standing nearly naked below the tall overhead light.

"I would like you to bend slightly and reach back with your hands to spread your bottom, open, so I can enjoy the efforts. Show me the artwork you had made there."

She spoke slowly, and I enjoyed the sound of her voice. I was smiling because she seemed to approve of me; somehow I had met the expectations.

I slowly extended my hands back as I bent at my waist and moved the hem of the slip up to my back. I had removed the dress I had worn for the drive. I spread my cheeks with my long fingers, the nails coated a deep red. I had just looked down to my heels when I heard the click and there was a third flash.

"Oh my Lisa, your red nails are a nice addition but your arty tattoo looks so . . . , aah, well, in my opinion it is amazing, just the proper imprint for only your lover's eyes. I can just see the edge. I can see the tongue." There was another flash, quite near this time, she had used the word 'lover'!

"Oh dear Lisa, but I love that you have a diamond eye inside of you, Lisa!"

There was a soft sigh from her as I twitched and caused the stone plug to move within me, then she said, "The red dye tone is strong but it will fade slightly over the coming months. I like your initiative Lisa. The red nails and the butt stone!"

She was quite close, but she did not touch me.

"I like that you have exceeded the request again. The commitment is important as it is your world, and your decisions that have us together now," she said but her voice trembled.

I heard the pebble sounds again as she seemed to move closer as I stood in my tall shoes, bent at the waist. Then it happened; I felt her fingers atop the stone plug in my bottom.

"Ummmh, my pussy is so fucking wet. This stone thrills me Lisa," she moaned softly.

I was breathing, but almost panting now due to my own excitement.

"Your bottom desires some attention, maybe soon, that is, if you decide," she giggled softly.

Then I felt her grasp the edges of the stone, and she tried to pull it free. As she pulled a bit, I felt the ring of my ass distend and then she released the stone.

"But not tonight," and she pulled it again. She was teasing me a little, and I felt her move away slightly.

The sound of her moaning was so close, behind me maybe a foot behind me, I didn't care; her touch had been like an electric shock. I wanted this so badly. I heard her breathing become deep. I turned my head very slightly from side to side, which allowed me to see her shadow caused by some stray light from the left. In the dark shadow the figure's hand appeared at the top of her legs, but the darkness concealed her. I wanted her to touch me again, but the Instruction had been clear.

"Ohh," she softly moaned again.

I wanted to turn, but somehow I resisted; my desire was to look at her. I felt so exposed. I held my cheeks for a moment longer, and then I released my both cheeks without her commenting. The taut rose' colored thong string slipped back tight between my cheeks and the silk fabric fell over my bottom. The black-heeled shoes she had provided me in the last present weren't uncomfortable; I had spent enough time walking and standing in the heels that this new pair didn't bother me.

"Such a lovely bottom Lisa. The small tongue you had made and the color are perfect. The white stone plug is flawless." Her words aroused me.

I heard her groan again and realized that whoever had caused me to dress, and stand nearly naked at this corner, was now playing with herself as she looked at my bottom. There wasn't anything that would cause me to turn to see her; after the previous Instructions I knew I had to remain focused.

"Your bottom is so sexy!" I heard the soft hum of a vibrator now.

Now we stood only a few feet apart but remained mutually entranced.

She spoke quietly as her moaning increased, "You cannot stop this Lisa. Your will is working to bring you along. We are only the enablers."

The sound of her breathing became louder now as the humming of her toy continued. I wondered what did 'we' refer to? I stood quietly listening to her stimulating her pussy.

"You've picked a very good spot to stand Lisa. The deep shadow across your bottom is nice."

My eyes shifted about, but I didn't move my head as I continued to look downward, so I could see the small bit of her profile in the shadows. We were alone in a wide dark landscape.

"Ohh, yes, ohh god, ohhh!"

Her breathing was rough as she began to climax, moaning, "Soon, lover. Touch your breasts Lisa, feel how we together have those now."

I did as she requested and removed the right brassiere cup to play with my now fat brown nipple. The new part of my body responded, and I became further involved in her sexual episode.

"Making this possible has been extraordinary, my Lisa. Your breasts look quite nice, and I am sure that you love them. Reach around again, spread your cheeks once more so that I can better see that tongue, ohh, yes, Lisa, it is lovely, licking at your bottom, and the white stone!"

I thought I heard her move, as I heard the pebbles beneath her heels again. Maybe she had bent to pick something up. I pulled the thong aside again.

"It has been more than seven months; you are quite good at following our Instructions."

There was another flash, but the source of the light seemed odd. The word 'our' rang in my head as I heard the hum of her toy and her orgasm began. As she moaned I nearly came as well, even without touching my lace-covered mons.

"Oh my, oh my Anna, oh wow, we are so, ohhhh, Lisa!"

I knew I wasn't to speak, but I did moan softly as she came; but I wondered who Anna was.

She continued breathing loudly, "Oh Lisa, oh yes, your legs look wonderfully smooth, please do not . . ." She must have bent and stepped back a bit.

"Do not, ahh, that was, don't move. I want you to wait. Oh my, dear Lisa" she was clearly exhausted by the peaking orgasm.

"Stay here, oh god, about, oh, say five, no ten minutes. I am leaving a package here for you and my vibrator as well. My scent is there. Oh, and the photos are for another."

Though I wanted to speak, I somehow restrained myself. If I could spend these past months preparing for this encounter I was also capable of resisting the urge to ask any questions of my sponsor, this woman.

Each of the previous five events had been followed by additional clarity regarding the relationship. I knew that more information was in the present placed on the ground. That is how I had come to see the packages sent or left for me after each encounter. This was our first close meeting and I could spoil it by turning about, or by asking, even speaking.

I listened to the sound of the stones and the click of her heels as she walked away. I heard her giggling softly. After a minute the sound faded and I felt alone. Then I heard the sound of someone getting into the car, then a mumbled few words and a second door closed. There was no action for a full minute. I stood still, bent almost in half, just as she had left me. The engine started and the car lights were lit; there was a pause before the vehicle slowly drove away as I continued to look down at my own black shoes. I turned my head to look at the receding vehicle only after I didn't hear the rumble of the engine, then I stood looking at the taillights. The car was large, but too far off for me to see any details.

After a moment I turned and walked the few steps in my stilettos to the spot she had stood and played with herself. On top of a package lay a small damp panty, a bright red lace thong, with the still moist vibrator leaning there as well. The thin material that would have been between her butt cheeks was without a label.

I picked up the small garment and the still humming toy and brought the panty to my nose. Her scent filled me but there was another smell as well. At the back of the thin strap I felt the presence of a lubricant. She had a plug too, covered with her preferred Pjur silicone lube. I knew the feeling of this lube as I had used the same product from her last package to help get the cock-shaped toy into my bottom just this evening. I switched off the vibrator and brought it to my nose. I smiled as I licked slowly. I wondered when we would do this again.

The previous Instructions were no longer on my brain as I sought to see what she had left for me. I was bothered by the multiple photos she had taken and her subtle statement 'for another', and the second soft car-door closing.

My world was still within my control, as she had been clear from the beginning. Each week for over the past seven months I had made personal decisions that led me to this evening's meeting. This visit did less than I had hoped to explain my reasons and hers as well. Her statement 'another' was causing me anxiety. There must have been someone with her watching us tonight; those soft words she spoke as the car door was opened and then the muted second door closing. This was the first time I had dressed, well I was wearing lingerie, and ventured out beyond my small apartment, and I had no doubt that she would share the pictures she made of this evenings rendezvous but with whom?

- - - - - - - - -

Instruction #1

'It shall be clear and you will follow this explicitly, or you will not'

A few moments later a second message arrived,

'You look cute for a young dresser, even feminine, but I will require more from you if we are to be together, so get rid of the body hair and let your dirty blonde hair continue to grow, only when it is well past your shoulders will I respond to your text or images'

I had been checking out an Alternative Sex site for several months when I had decided to post my stumbling, badly written note. I had vacillated for a week considering the consequences of posting the two pictures on the site. The requirement of the website administrators was a detailed personal description. I added my simple request. Within a few days I had received seven, actually eight responses, from people who described themselves as dominating and were interested in being involved with me, as I began my transition. A follow-up only came from two, and of these, one was a pushy woman who required that I allow her to call me. After the short conversation I felt she was a bit too dark.

The second, well the user name was 'anaisdom' and seemed interesting though the response was only the first short Instruction.

The idea had been in my head for months, to allow my hair to grow to help with my appearance, so this Instruction just caused me to think long and hard about how and whether to respond. Though different from the other messages, at least she included a vague body shot with her wearing a dress and heels. I couldn't see her face clearly, for there was a veil. Now months later, as I reviewed my earlier notes I studied the image. I was attracted to her though I wondered now, who had prepared the shot? Was it this other person, to whom she would give the photos?

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