Tradition and Triumph Again

The path was long and tortuous but the victory was sweet and the prize priceless. That moment of intimacy a few days earlier on her sofa was simply the magical ecstasy that men look to get from a woman of incredible beauty. The process of reaching there was challenging but enjoyable as she was extremely hard to get. (This is described in 'Tradition and Triumph') She was orthodox, shy and of very strong character all rolled into one.

So, now that the initial barriers were broken I was going to enjoy this women to the fullest as much as I could. I planned for many romantic getaways to spend time with her, soak in her Indian beauty and squeeze out every drop of passion in me to drown us in bliss.

Or so I thought.

The day after that night I called around noon and asked to meet again when she replied that something had come up suddenly and that she had to be busy at work for a couple of days. So I let her be for the weekend and called her again early the next week.

The fact that she hadn't called might have been a red flag but I guess I was still drunk with her performance that night that it didn't just click.

When she picked up the phone after about four rings her voice sounded distant but I let that go as well. It was when we were well into our conversation after the usual pleasantries that she opened up.

She was unhappy with herself that she let us make love. She did not think that it was the correct thing to do. There were so many doubts about our future and where we were going and in that uncertain scenario we shouldn't have gotten into intimacy. Somebody or both of us is going to get hurt in this. She then went quiet and I spoke.

"Did you not enjoy it, Srila? Do you think I was taking advantage of you?"

"Oh no, no, no. Absolutely not," she retorted. "It's just that we aren't sure, are we?"

"How can anyone be sure of anything? We are in love and isn't that enough? Now be a good girl and let's meet up for some coffee at Starbucks."

She was reluctant but she agreed to meet in the evening.

She came dressed in her pink T shirt and jeans, the very thing she wore when I asked her if I could see her nude one afternoon a century ago. She had peeled off those jeans to reveal her womanhood for the first time and also with a degree of freedom that was an antithesis of her shyness.

We hugged and I went for her lips but she turned her face expertly while pulling away with a hint of a smile.

Privately I rebuilt her inner secret contours in my mind as I pretended to think as we seated ourselves.

We said nothing for a while then she broke the silence.

"Want a coffee?"

"Yeah sure. I'll get it. What do you want?"

"The usual but make it a small. Thanks."

I went to the counter and stood in line but had an eye on her to see if I could read her body language. She just sat with her chin in her hand with elbow on table and stared out the window. Her eyes or head were not moving with the bustle of activity outside. She was deep in thought and reflection and that was not good news at all. She was quite a cerebral woman and could intellectualize and analyze anything to shreds. She had regrets of what happened. At least that's what I saw in her.

When I went back with the coffee I decided to open up.

"Tell me, honey, did you not enjoy it that day? Why the big fuss?"

"Oh that's all, is it? A big fuss! A woman does not want to be in a situation like that, where she is... where she is unsure of what might happen to her. You are still married and who am I to be with you?

"Listen, listen," I interrupted. "We love each other and we made love. I did not force it and you enjoyed it didn't you?"

"Enjoying it doesn't mean that it's right."

"So you did enjoy it and if that's the case it must be right." I was firm in my tone and looked her right in the eye.

"Chuck, you don't understand me, or an Indian woman. We don't turn on passion when the situation demands. It is much more involved and commitment based. Please understand." She went on and on about what a relationship is and where intimacy should begin and what ingredients must be there always for the relationship to mature and how much she respected and loved me and that we should look into the foreseeable future with some common understanding.

It was then that it dawned on me that I had not won this fabulous woman completely. She was still in conservative mode or had somehow slipped back after that wonderful night of sex even if I forgot the little preliminaries we had earlier leading up.

I reached out and held her elbow. "Please Srila, take a moment to comprehend what you are upset about. Yes, I am married but I am separated and we are looking at divorce pretty soon. As I said, the lawyer sees no hurdles. So legally I am tied up but emotionally I am not."

"I feel really bad" She sipped her coffee and held her cup up as tears welled.

"Oh, please" I held her arm again.

"I know some men would think me cheap; not you, I know. I can't get into intimacy and then go into a state of limbo not knowing what's going to happen. A woman's mind works differently. At least an Indian woman's. It's different when we get intimate and then we are not committed"

"Come on, Srila," I protested, "what does committed mean? Ten years, fifty years or fifty days? I don't know what goes on in your mind. I admit I am lost here."

She twirled her straw in her coffee and stared intently at the creamy froth at the top before she responded.

"I guess you are right. You wouldn't know how a woman's mind works and I shouldn't react to how a man acts based on his inherent tendencies. I know you genuinely wanted to make love to me and you did. I was attracted to you and wanted it too and I responded positively. Now I am thinking back to realize that this is a short term association and I am upset."

"Why is it short term? What is short term? Two hours, two weeks or two years?"

"It is not a matter of defined time. It is a perception of something conceivably permanent."

"Oh God" I whined. I looked at her beautiful face as she kept her eyes on her coffee. Her eyelashes so regular and symmetrical, her lovely little nose and her cherry lips sucking on her straw. Below, not for the first time I ogled those magnificently well shaped boobs just above table level. I strained my eyes to even imagine her nipples pushing her pink T shirt.

For a moment my mind went back to those lovely orbs of hers with the light chocolate tips. Yes, she had a bit of a sag but she had a cute pear shape and ample volume to make them look sexy.

As she looked up I took my eyes away quickly. I looked her in the eyes as I almost whispered: "Let's go back home and make up!"

"No!" she was firm as she looked annoyed. "I don't want to say this but is sex all you think of?"

"Gosh! Does going home mean sex?"

We sat there in silence. She looking down at the table and perhaps wondering how she got changed from a faithfully traditional Indian woman to this object of carnal desire for this horny caucasian man.

She took her time finishing her coffee. We hardly spoke anything but the most mundane. It was regular small talk that casual acquaintances would indulge in. It was so unlike two people who had recently had sex. I had to bring that mood back.

"Let's take a walk. It's beautiful outside." Another few minutes of silence.

Then she looked up right into my eyes. I was thinking this was going to be a refusal as she dreaded being seen with me by her Indian friends. That was her in the past but she had a refreshing change.

Without saying a word she picked up her handbag and walked out with me. It seemed very natural to hold her hand and her fingers responded. The soft breeze greeted our faces and we walked a few yards into the small park, shoulders brushing and her tender fingertip gliding softly at the back of my thumb.

"I know it's tough for you," I began, "you've had to adjust to being alone and given your background had a difficult call to make."

"It wasn't difficult. That's the issue" We stopped by a little goldfish pond where a central fountain gushed water along a mini rocky cliff. The soothing crackle of running water and the cheerfully orange fish darting about under the rippling surface was calming. "It's so simple for you, men," she continued. "You feel the urge when you are with a woman and then you find a place to make love and then forget it for a while before you want to do it again. Simple!"

"Darling, in a way it is simple that men want to make love when they are with beautiful women. Sometimes it can be little more complex than that. I do have a conscience, you know. There is anxiety that the type of women that you have with you may not be a correct fit and there is a chance of someone getting hurt."

"That works for us, women too," she responded quickly. "And what exactly attracted you to me? Where did I fit your description?" she had a faint smile.

"You, my dear are my ideal!"

"Rubbish!" she frowned. She gestured towards a park bench: "Let's sit."

"You want to hear what's good in you?" She brought her finger to my lips to stop but I carried on after checking that no one is within hearing distance. "Your heavenly face, especially your lips. The fullness and the colour which gives it life. You have a smooth complexion, which many have told you about without any professional care or even cosmetic help. All over." I whispered now. "Your shoulders, legs and thighs too. There's silky soft smoothness all over.

"I love those breasts." I looked at them and she blushed. "They are so wonderfully proportionate and have those very sexy areolar and nipples which I love to taste. Do you like it when I do that?"

She looked into my eyes and ever so gently, almost imperceptibly, nodded. Was I winning her back? Then she said: "Say something that's not physical."

"Yes of course. You are such good company and very well read and intelligent and you hold a conversation very well; whether it be politics or science, philosophy or sports."

I felt a bit awkward that I was telling her all this and even discussing this topic. Suddenly it felt like I was back to square one and that I had to win this woman again. To go through all those painfully slow seduction steps looked like an exercise in tedium. For the first time in my association with Srila I was wondering if it was all worth it.

"I am a little ignorant of how these things are for men. I guess I am still learning and my experience is limited too." She was introspective.

"You have not been with another man other than Ashok?" That was her ex-husband.

"I told you. No!"

"Goodness, you Indians are so good. No romantic interludes even; no provocative situations? Nothing forced on you?"

"Well, depends on what you mean, really. You get forced into a lot of stuff if you are a woman. But consensual, no" She searched her mind. "Maybe one guy."

My ears perked up. "Ah, tell me. What was that? All the way?"

"Oh no. It was not even close." She glanced up to me as if resigning herself to a cozier zone of conversation. "It was a childhood friend and suddenly we were adolescents. We were together with other friends for a whole day on a family picnic and then at dusk, we found ourselves in a greenhouse and he held my arm, pulled me into a small dark room on the side, and kissed me. I had this weird feeling being a girl of about nineteen. I had good thoughts about this boy and he was paying some attention to me. That was good but I was scared my parents would be looking for me. I panicked.

"I wanted to go back and I said so. He kept muttering things in my ear as he kissed me all over my face and his hands started wondering." She produces one of her trademark giggles. "He palmed my butt and then he moved to my boobs. I had to pull away as I was getting carried away.

"Will you think less of me if I said it felt good?"

"No, not at all. Perfectly normal." I was hoarse with reflected excitement. "Go on."

"That was it. I walked out and though both of us were sheepish for a few days it was back to normal thereafter."

"Wow! Interesting. Girls as good looking as you are would have had sex several times at that age here."

"I know." She looked down again. "I don't want to say it's bad. Their lives and their worlds are different."

"Let's go back. Let's walk along the river bank" My thoughts went back to getting her into a romantic mood again. I was happy she agreed.

We walked hands locked and swinging and I had to plan the evening if I was to get her panties off. I wanted her badly. The first time was good but I wanted to improve on that. I was glad that I was talking to her and she was with me but I was not getting any further. I must not let go now.

The park was relatively quiet. I could not help notice the male roving eyes that glanced in our direction and dwelt on her pretty face, scanned the wonder of her breasts and even the smooth contours of her behind. That must be thinking 'what a lucky guy!'

If they only knew...

"I want to glance a bit into your past."

"Ahah?" she cooed.

"Teach me some Tamil. Some words that boys would've said to you."

"Like what? I can't teach you any romantic Tamil during a walk, can I?" She smiled as she nudged my arm with her shoulder.

"Oh you mean we need to get cozier."

"No! That's not what I meant."

"OK. I always wanted to ask. So what is that called in your language?" I asked when there was a short silence.

She looked up and innocently asked: "What?"

"To fuck."

"Yuck!" She shut her ears. "I don't want to hear that crude word."

"OK I am sorry. But what's it called?"

"I don't know."

"You are lying."

"I can't say it. It's not what I ever used and just heard it randomly."

"Say it."

"No!"

"OK, then tell me the word in Tamil for the privates; male or female."

"What kind of perverted conversation is this?"

I gave up. That encounter ended without further excitement and we went our ways home.

I thought I'll take her for a romantic dinner and then things might start heating up. Especially since it was mid-week we mightn't have the usual crowds.

I suggested over a call and after the inevitable hesitation she agreed but wanted to get back early, the next day being a working day. I had to as well and I said so.

I drove her to Timothy's Grill which was not much of a place but had a nice soft atmosphere and great smooth jazz in the background.

We seated ourselves close to the window and enjoyed the ambiance. I looked across the table in the dim lights to notice what she was wearing which I had missed when I picked her up. She was in crimson pantaloons and an equally loose white top which hugged her waist.

I looked into her wonderful eyes for the millionth time and produced a seductive smile before I said: "You look wonderful."

"Oh, you always say that," she almost sounded bored.

"No I haven't seen you in this before. Is it new?"

"No. My cousin got it from Malaysia." She looked down at herself. "My girlfriend thinks I look bigger in this."

"You mean your boobs look bigger?"

"Yeah, I think that's what she meant."

"I agree with her," I said and kept looked at the twin bulges with longing.

"Enough! Let's order," She had that awkward smile.

The waitress came and we ordered. She her mushroom dish, salad and noodles and I my lobster and pasta.

We had a relatively quiet dinner as I planned my approach. I was longing to screw her and she was perhaps unaware but carefully tried to avoid sensual topics like the one we had going earlier.

After practicing my lines carefully I suggested that we stop over at my place for dessert. She somehow thought she had to agree to be courteous. So we were on our way.

Fantasies were swimming in my head on the drive that I hardly heard her conversation. She touched on various things which were just so uninteresting for me at this point as I planned my strategy. I think I had it all worked out.

We walked into my spacious living area and we sat on the couch with her on my left. Yes, the top gently dropped on her boobs and then hugged her waist and he pants were also was rather snug across her hips. She looked gorgeous, which was kind of the regular observation in my state of admiration.

When I moved a little closer to her she quickly quipped, "Where's the dessert?"

"Oh, I'll get it" I cursed again and went to the fridge to serve two bowls of the caramel and chocolate soufflé that I learnt to make from my mother and we sat silently to enjoy it. My mind was working fast and I even had a slight hardness thinking of making love.

My whole project for the night crashed when she finished the desert and said: "Really delicious. I must learn this one from you. Okay, now please take me at home!"

"Please stay for a while," I almost begged.

She had many reasons to go. Work and lots of other stuff before going to bed and she did not want us to get into 'difficult situations' and blah, blah, blah.

Before she left, at the door I hugged her and that turned into a beautiful kiss and when our tongues met like the good old days I was thrilled to taste her warmth and passion. I let my hand slip down from her waist onto the curves of her butt and even further between her thighs and still kissing I slipped upwards and under her top to bare skin. That's when she intervened! In her classic style she held my wrist pulled away from my lips and smilingly said that she must leave.

I lost.

I quietly agreed and that was it for the day. I felt sorry for myself. Lying alone in bed, later and wondering what to do with my erection. I thought of a porn movie and even a massage parlor or a hooker and then decided to relieve myself of my load and keep my level headed planning for another effort.

I convinced myself that this fabulous woman was worth another hundred tries! Like in the days before I screwed her I imagined her next to me in bed and let my mind run as my hand did the job.

I had to have some restraint. Getting myself undervalued by repeated asks is not as bad as she getting distant from me because I pester her too much. So I made plans. They may have been, when I look through the retrospective eyes, a trifle immature. But that was what I was in those years.

I held myself back to inflate my value for two days without calling her. Neither did she! Then my eagerness to see her and be with her gave in. I had to ask myself the question if I was genuinely in love with her!

No. Never!

I called her on her cell and she answered enthusiastically saying a cheerful "Hi!"

"Hi! I am missing you too much. When can I see you?"

"I am at the library now. Say in about two hours?"

"Sure," and I hung up.

Am I back in the game? She sounded like she always was. Very friendly and warm and apparently wanting to meet me. Just like her again, she didn't make the first move.

I dressed in my denims and a long sleeve sweat at shirt as the weather was a bit wet and windy and I remember that as I had the words Heart Inside written on it across my chest.

When I drove up to her doorstep she was waiting which also was not very common and indicated that she was rather keen to be with me. When she got in we had the customary hug and peck and then we realized we had nowhere to go!

"So, where to then," I asked.

"Hmm... You want to stay right here at my place. No one's in."

"Oh sure that sounds great," I was excited because that was where I had made love to her on that sofa that most beautiful day.

As we stepped into her living area I looked at it and quipped with a wink "I love that sofa," and plonked myself right into.

She giggled and said: "Yeah, that was special." She sat beside me.

"Where is your son?"

"Oh he's spending the day with a friend. He should be back for dinner."

That gave us just about an hour or so. Can I do it? Will she be too tense that her son will be back and refuse again? Is she giving me hint to get on with it? I wasn't sure at all.