Traffic Lights

"Have you ever really felt him?"

Mary Carmichael awoke to the sound of the woman's voice in her head. She had a soft, whispery tone and the words made no sense. As Mary swam up from the depths of sleep, the words were replaced with a repeating buzz which she realized was her alarm clock. She reached over automatically and snapped it off, sitting up and knowing she had overslept again.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She got out of bed and didn't bother to make it. She jogged into the bathroom and washed her face barely with a splash of cold water and a dab of soap. She grabbed her toothbrush, squeezing the mint gel out, and began to brush her impossibly white teeth. She ran a comb thru her straight blonde hair and dashed back into her room, finding a pair of navy pants and a beige silk t-shirt that were clean and wrinkle-free enough to last another day on the job.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She dashed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. Her car keys, cell phone and purse were on the table. She picked them up to and headed out the door, being sure to lock it securely behind her.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She unlocked and opened her car door in one movement, tossing her purse and the bottle of water across the space where they landed with a thud on the passenger seat as she herself climbed into the 1999 nondescript Taurus. As she slid the key into the ignition and turned it on, her other hand deftly wrapped around and secured her safety belt. She slipped the transmission into reverse, checking the mirror and looking from side to side before backing out of her parking spot.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She rationalized as she drove. If there were no accidents and she managed to catch more green lights then red, there was a slim chance she could make it there on time. She refused to panic, not yet. Her fingers gripped the wheel tightly but her shoulders relaxed against her seat. She switched on the radio and let her body bounce along to some enthusiastic dance beat that blared from her car speakers.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

The sky was a robin's egg blue she noticed as she drove down the road, tapping her foot to the beat. The sun was bright yellow, the shade of a banana. The light shimmered off the blacktop, leaving everything about it hazy and bright. Her windshield showed its' grime unforgivably in the brightness of the morning sun. Maybe this weekend she would get the car washed.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She pondered for a moment whether she should dare to take the few moments to run thru the drive thru at Starbucks for her morning latte. She remembered she had a meeting at 10 and thought yes, she would need that caffeine. As she pulled up even to the corner where the coffee shop faithfully waited, she slowed her car and pulled in. She dug through her purse quickly for her wallet and had her latte in hand in exactly 3 minutes, 24 seconds. She was impressed and held it carefully as she maneuvered her car back into traffic.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

She still couldn't get the sound of her voice or the words she had whispered out of her head. She sipped at her latte, her head bobbing with the beat as she drove along with the traffic. Go. Stop. Go. Bumper to bumper all the way there, she knew exactly how it would be. The latte was good, it was always good. She licked her upper lip to make sure she had no froth upon it.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

It was not a long drive but it was tedious as there were far too many traffic lights on this stretch of road. However, it was the quickest route. She had timed them all. It had less traffic than the expressway. And of course it had the drive-thru Starbucks. She was used to it, it was familiar. She had traveled it hundreds of times. She figured she could probably drive it with her eyes closed if she had to.

"Have you ever really felt him?"

The girl appeared out of nowhere. The street was empty and then there she was, her blonde hair glittering in the sunshine. Mary heard the thump as the girl bounced off her bumper and hit the pavement as Mary slammed her car into park. She jumped out so fast she nearly forgot to undo her safety belt. She was beside the girl in seconds. The girl's eyes were so blue, as blue as the sky as she looked up into Mary's. Mary could barely breathe; her heart was hammering in her chest as she asked the girl, "Are you okay?"

"Have you ever really felt him?"

The girl just blinked up at Mary. There wasn't any blood that she could see but she didn't know how badly the girl could be hurt. She didn't move her. She barely touched her. She looked at the girl and asked her again if she was okay. The girl began to move her lips, slowly. It looked like she was trying to say something. Mary couldn't hear her. The traffic, the voices and all the sounds of a morning work day were drowning in her ears. She bent close to the girl, closer, so she could hear the faint words coming from her dry lips. When Mary finally heard them, heard the soft whispery tone the girl used, the words she heard were this:

"Have you ever really felt him?"

It was then than Mary began to scream.