Transference Ch. 02

Gina's second session was scheduled at noon on Wednesday and it was already five minutes past. Not super late, but late enough that I start to wonder if clients have forgotten their appointment or if they have decided to not return to therapy for some reason. With Gina, I could imagine that she might feel as though she had been able to get a lot "off her chest" in that first session, and sometimes this means that many clients will feel a sense of catharsis, which can easily be mistaken for improvement. I secretly hoped this wasn't the case. I wanted to see Gina again.

I blew a deep sigh of relief when I heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open. As I watched her glide up the stairs in the security camera monitor and was reminded of that flawless ass, my heart started to skip a few beats. Get it together, I told myself.

I gave her a minute to collect herself (and gave me a minute to collect myself) in the waiting room before opening my office door and greeting her. "Good morning, Gina. Would you like to come in?" She stood up quietly and slipped past me without a word and dropped down on the sofa across from my chair. I gathered my clipboard and pen and sat down.

"So, Gina, it's nice to see you back again this week. Where would you like to begin?"

At that, the floodgates opened and the tears began to flow. "I told myself I wouldn't cry," she said as she reached for a tissue from the box on the table in front of her.

I should take this opportunity to explain a little something about myself: I am physically aroused by most attractive women crying. In talking with colleagues over the years, I've learned that this phenomenon isn't all that uncommon. Many people seem to have this response to tears from the opposite sex. I'm not necessarily talking about a full-on erection, but it is not uncommon to feel my pecker start to dance a little in my pants when met with a crying woman. So when Gina began to cry in front of me, I noticed a desire to shift in my seat to make sure my bulge wasn't too obvious and dropped my clipboard over my crotch. It didn't help matters that I also began to take note of what she was wearing today. Once again, she had dressed herself in form-fitting yoga pants. Black this time. And today I took notice of what she had on up top. She had taken off her jacket to reveal a sleeveless printed t-shirt with enough cut from the middle to expose her tight, flat midsection. She appeared to have on a sports bra, covering what I imagined to be cute little perky breasts. I've never been much of a breast man, so any more than a mouthful is unnecessary in my eyes. She had mentioned in her first session that she enjoyed going to the gym, and it was very obvious that her time there was paying off. She had a tight, compact little body that reminded me of a sexy sports car. Great for a jaunt around town, but really comes into her own when you open her up all the way.

We spent the next 45 minutes or so dealing with what appeared to be a full-blown anxiety attack. Gina was having a tough time calming down, alternating between crying spells and extreme anxiousness and self-critical worry. I patiently listened as she talked about some of the frustrations she was feeling with her school work over the past couple days and when I noticed that her anxiety was spiking, I would walk her through a deep breathing exercise or a mindfulness activity. Eventually she seemed to be slowly calming down to where she could actually look at me for more than a glance and her breathing appeared to be slowing to a reasonable rate. I watched as the perky breasts slowed their up and down motion. Thankfully my arousal also seemed to be diminishing as well.

As the session time was drawing to a close, I began to notice some hesitation from Gina about leaving. Clients do interesting things to avoid leaving the office if they are feeling like they want to stay longer. Some clients will become more anxious and agitated in an effort to gain my attention. Some will start talking about useless, idle things in the hopes that something will garner my curiosity enough to stay on that topic. Many clients will save that last couple minutes to finally ask the important questions they have been avoiding the entire session. Us therapists call these "doorknob questions." Gina asked about me.

"Oh my God, I hadn't noticed that ring on your finger before. Are you married?"

Right away, I didn't believe her. Gina notices wedding bands. Gina could probably rattle off the marital status of every man she's met for more than 5 minutes in the last 6 months. What Gina was really asking is, how important is it to you that you're married? She was starting to place me into that videogame "Achievement Locked" category and was trying to figure out how many points I was worth.

"I sure am." With many clients, I'll simply leave it at that, but it was becoming painfully obvious that I was going to have to begin to be a bit more confrontational with Gina regarding any potential feelings she might have for me, so I continued my line of questioning a bit further.

"What makes that important to you?" I asked.

With that question, Gina once again buried her face in her hands and began to hide her eyes from me. "You must think I'm the worst person ever!"

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking that at all, but I'm curious what makes you say that?" I was becoming aware that this was Gina's way of "beating around the bush." She either didn't like doing it or she wasn't very good at it, because after only a couple sessions with her, it was clear that Gina was eventually going to speak her mind. That sort of brutal honesty is extremely rare, but it's a huge weakness for me. I see it so rarely, that in those few times when I do, it can be intoxicating.

Gina looked at me through her soft brown eyes and blurted out, "I'm terrible for having the feelings I'm having!"

For now, I ignored the implication. Gina was having "feelings" for me. We'd address that. At the moment, I had to be as therapeutic and professional as possible and also wrap the session up so I can begin my next session, all the while my heart was starting to flutter in my chest a bit and my pants were starting to tighten again. "I'm hearing you place some judgment on the feelings that you are experiencing. I wonder if you can accept that the feelings are just that: feelings? There's no good or bad when it comes to thoughts or feelings. The good or bad comes from how we respond to them."

It was the best I could do in the heat of the moment. Gina didn't seem too satisfied with this response, but I didn't have the time to process things further.

I suggested that we continue this discussion during our session the following week and Gina reluctantly nodded her head. She picked up her phone and her small purse and quickly slipped out the door.

Session 3

I had arrived at the office a bit early that morning, in order to catch up on some paperwork and collect my thoughts before the day began. After completing some billing, I had a few minutes left before Gina arrived to sip my coffee and contemplate the direction things appeared to be headed in her therapy. I'd been doing this long enough to know where this was going. Whether I liked it or not, Gina was going to try and seduce me in the same way she seduces every other attractive male she meets. And honestly, I was kind of liking the idea. A lot. Not because I thought I would allow myself to be seduced but because of the reason I was sure she was going to attempt to do so. I had become the "final boss" and the ultimate achievement in her sexual seduction game. Unlike nearly every other man she encounters, not only do I have all the standard reasons to rebuff her advances, such as being married or being over twice her age, but I've also got an ethical mandate that prevents me from engaging in any sort of sexual relationship with a client. In most places, I could lose my license if discovered and in some places, I could even face jail time. Not to mention the possibility of a malpractice lawsuit leaving me destitute. That fact alone puts me just a bit farther out of reach for Gina than 98 percent of the other guys she meets. But there was yet another reason that I was going all the way to the top of the heap of her accomplishments: it was because I KNEW her. I had an all-access pass to the very things that make Gina tick. I knew about the childhood abuse and neglect that contributed to Gina's extraordinary sexual appetite. I knew about her failed relationships and attempts to be more than just a sexual plaything for her partners. Most importantly, unlike every other guy she pursues, I knew that I meant nothing to her beyond just being yet another notch in her belt. With me, she didn't have to pretend I meant anything to her. She could simply use that one single most powerful weapon she had at her disposal: sex.

I don't want to imply that I wasn't bringing some pretty powerful weapons of my own to this fight. At this point, I'd been married longer than Gina had been alive and things were going great between my wife and myself. Being in a solid relationship really does make handling temptation a great deal easier. As I've also mentioned previously, I have had my share of previous experience handling sexual advances from clients. I've managed to simply stare at gorgeous clients as they've described vivid sexual dreams about me and not only maintain my composure, but remain therapeutic and helpful. I've had clients say they have masturbated to an online profile picture of me, resulting in "the biggest orgasm I've ever had." Then there's the client that said she thinks about me when her husband is going down on her. Like I said, I try to enjoy the moment and move on. Willpower is my middle name and I've got self-control in spades. Finally, just like Gina didn't have to pretend with me, I don't have to pretend as though she means anything more than sex to me either. I'll be the good, understanding therapist and demonstrate all that positive regard, but when it comes to the struggle of me versus Gina for the seduction prize, I don't have to hold back.

It seemed that Gina and I were about to enter into battle. The Temptress versus the Iron Giant. The spider versus the fly. I was going to put up a fight, but I wasn't sure I wanted to.

The sound of the door at the bottom of the steps jolted me from my thoughts. I glanced at the security monitor and watched Gina climb the steps up to the office floor. Unlike the two previous meetings, she seemed to be dressed much more conservatively. She had on a fairly plain and unflattering button-down collared shirt that seemed to sit oddly on her, but it was tough to see clearly given the camera's angle of being above and behind. She also wore basic blue jeans, not too loose and not too tight. Just right, as Little Red Riding Hood would say. After she rounded the corner at the top of the stairs, I barely looked up from her chart as I met her at my office door and beckoned her to come inside.

"Good morning, Gina. You look like you're in a better mood than you were last week," I probed, trying to assess her present emotional state and hoping to avoid a repeat of the anxiety-ridden session that occurred a week ago. Gina was arranging herself on the sofa across from me.

"Thank you. Yes, I'm feeling much better today," she said as I scribbled notes down to document her improved mood and the session start time. After completing the notes I was making in her chart, I glanced up for the first time to get a good look at Gina. Her affect appeared to match her good mood. Her hair was ever-so-slightly tousled, probably an intentional attempt to appear as though she hadn't spent a great deal of time on it, when, in reality, she likely spent extra time. I scanned down from her head and for the first time I saw what my brain wasn't computing. The simple button-down blouse that I had seen laying oddly in the security camera was indeed askew. The reason it wasn't fitting right was because Gina had left all but the very last button completely undone. Gina was proudly displaying a tiny fuschia bikini-style strapless bra for all the world to see. I did my best to hide my surprise while I sipped my coffee and admired her bravery. God, she was bold! Now, this might not have been such a big deal if we lived at the beach and it was the middle of summer, but unfortunately, neither of these things were true. We were hours away from the nearest beach and it was the beginning of February. Even in our relatively temperate climate, a February morning can be pretty chilly. And based on what I saw when I was able to take the occasional glance at the goods placed on display for me, the cool morning air was having an effect on her barely-covered buds. I made a couple mental deposits into my "spank bank" for later. My assessment of her chest during last week's session had proven to be accurate. Her breasts were fairly small, but what they lacked in size, they more than made up for in shape. Each mound was a perfectly round, eminently suck-able piece of sweetness. These were the tits of someone who knew the power that breasts hold over the human male and wasn't afraid to use it.

Frankly, much of the rest of the session was a blur for me. We were able to get through several goals I had for the session. On a couple of occasions during the session, we referenced those "feelings" Gina had talked about last week, but kept it to a general discussion rather than exploring the more specific feelings for me.

The session wrapped up on time and Gina set off on her way. I was left alone in the office with my thoughts. And everywhere those thoughts went, they always wound up with Gina crouched naked on the floor with my cock in her mouth. Score one for the Temptress.