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- COMMENTS
blooms20005 months agotoo much of an info dump in this chapter for my taste.
imo, you don't have to explain everything. all it boils down to is that Tsun felt like S betrayed their team/humiliated them etc. etc.
you ended up fleshing out the unimportant bits. ie. you overexplained the background of the video game without really making it realistic. competitive players have to deal with shit and learn, and grudges like the one you're trying to set up is just kind of unbelievable.
You need to explain why the moba failure affected Tsun so much instead of emphasizing josh's realization that S wasn't at fault cause she doesn't fit the carry role.
Also carry is a singular, not carries.
Anonymousabout 1 year ago20 months without a new chapter, I have no hope anymore to see the rest of this story. Everything *did* went black, and it's a shame because I truly loved it. If you still read the comments from time to time, Kousakacomplex, I just want to thank you for what you wrote, and wish you the better in your life!
