Trepidation

Trepidation. I can't see a thing, can't do a thing. Here I am, tied spread-eagle, my arms in a y above my head, legs spread almost painfully apart by the spreader bar. I lean slightly to the left, feel the pull of the rope cuff at my wrist, the chafe, the encasement. The blindfold is tied securely, the lights dimmed. I don't know what is going to happen, fear making all my nerves taut. I can't tell what he's doing, my top. All I can feel on my skin right now is a faint breeze, made more powerful by the fact that there's nothing else to distract me.

He drags one fingernail down the length of my spine, making me shiver. I feel him behind me, suddenly up against me. He's kissing, licking, biting my neck, taking time to lick gently right behind my ear. He laughs softly at my small whimpers and holds my head firm, so now I can't move at all. He has me exactly where he wants me. He continues to lick and suck, running his nails along the sensitive flesh, down my collar bones. A hand rests lightly at my neck, only a bit of pressure. A bit of fear. He has all of the power right now.

His hand sweeps down the length of my neck and chest to cup and gently knead one breast, while the other runs down the length of my arm, from the sensitive wrist skin below the rope down the inside of my arm, finally resting on the other breast. He gently rubs my nipples and my hips rock, betraying my arousal. I am so ashamed at the way my body betrays me, how it loves being used as a toy. I've had so many fantasies over the years of this happening, of being owned and used by a top. Now they're happening and that old shame is bubbling to the surface. I thought I had ditched that, when I left my Catholicism behind me. I am glad he can't see my blush, that I can look down demurely, that I don't have to look him in the eye.

He continues playing with my nipples, my hips thrusting uselessly. I want him to stop, to take me already, use me and be done. The attention is too much, how he touches every part of my body, running his fingers through my scalp, his hand along my side, then rubbing my stomach which is tense with fear and lust. I want it to stop, I want it to go on forever.

I'm so lost in the feeling of one hand that I gasp in surprise as a hard whack of a hand against my butt. Just as I've figured out the rhythm of his spanks, he changes it. I have no idea what's coming next. My breath is coming rapidly as the feeling washes away all others.

Suddenly, it stops and he steps away. The uncertainty is almost more arousal than the spanking. He leaves me there and silently I wait, schooling myself to stay still. The time seems much longer than the few minutes he was away, and my mind is running with all of the possibilities of what he might do next.

The ice down my spine makes me gasp. I suppose I had been hoping for the knife, my favorite toy, which mingles the fear, the uncertainty, and the sensation so perfectly. Instead, the cold takes me by surprise. I gasp as he runs a larger chunk of ice down my neck and back. My nipples tighten painfully as he rubs them with the chunk of ice then fingers the taut nipples. His hands are roving, moving across my soft skin, the ice water trickling through my pubic hair, down my thighs as his hands continue their tease. He stop just short of actually touching my clit, my pussy. Each time he comes near, I whimper and fight my bonds, trying to get closer.

He leans in close, whispering in my ear. "You are such a slut, aren't you? Already wet and loose. Already wanting. My horny little slut. Now tell me, what do you want me to do?"

I think of the quick answer, the easy way out.

"What you want to do."

"What makes you cum so loud you scream? So loud the neighbors whisper to each other what a slut you are, how well you're fucked. Tell me, what will make you come like that?"

I can't say, I can't. Too selfish of me. I can't stand his attention on me, on me cumming, it is too embarrassing. I need to give another easy answer.

"For you to fuck me, hard, to use me."

My master sees through it. One hand holds me against him, at the point between my belly button and my curls. The other...

Fear springs to my throat as I feel the small blade against my neck, fear mixing with my want.

"I expect honesty from my slave. I want to know every bit of your lust, the things you are too embarrassed to say. Especially the ones you are embarrassed to say. Tell me now, what do you want?"

"I wanna cum!"

"How do you want to cum?"

"Oh please, go down on me, finger me in the ass. Oh please, I need to cum so bad!"

With that he released me, pulling the knots that held me secured spread-eagled. I'm secured instead to the bed, face up. While fingering me, he rustles around in his toy box and finds a small egg vibrator, slipping it inside, just above my pubic bone, right where he knows my g-spot is. Continuing his idle fingering, he turns the egg up to medium, making my whole cunt thrum. He then takes out a book, opens it and proceeds to read and finger me, ignoring me completely. I wish I was half as lucky. I can feel the swelling everywhere, the inner squishiness that extends beyond my pussy. I can't help making noises as I feel him up the power a little bit at a time, until I'm hopelessly tossing my head, making noises I'm only half aware of. He unties one hand of mine, letting me finger myself as he slips one of his deep inside my ass. H e presses my stomach down, over my bladder, and after a few minutes of this, I cum, hard.

Before I can remember that he didn't go down on me, he quickly secures my hand again. Then his tongue is between my legs, licking my clit and still fingering my ass. He takes his sweet time about it, licking at first gently with just the tip, then with wide, hard strokes that leave me straining against my bonds. I'm already hyper-sensitive from the first time I came. He takes his finger from my ass and I gasp, wanting more. He slides my dildo into the hot wetness of my cunt, sheathing it up to the hilt, but tilting it just a bit so it hits my G-spot every time.

"Oh please, fuck me! Fuck me hard!"

"I thought you wanted me to go down on you."

"Please, I just need to cum! Oh please don't stop!"

"I see how it is. Well, I had better give the lady what she wants."

With that he begins fucking me in earnest, fast and hard. The pleasure overwhelms me, reducing me to incoherence and an overpowering feeling of sweetness dominates everything, along with the feeling I'm going to break into a million pieces. I'm barely aware that my my "Oh god's" have gotten higher in pitch, and louder, breathier. He starts flicking my clit too, rubbing in circles and faster. I can feel my whole body tensing, trembling, needing to cum so badly, and I tell him so.

"I give you permission: CUM NOW!"

I explode with the feeling, body spasming, releasing the pleasure in waves until I slump down on the bed, exhausted. He unfastens my arms and legs and wraps himself around me.

"Good girl."