Trouble

I arrived to class early. I was always early- punctuality was something my parents had drummed into my head. Besides, I was looking forward to this class. I had been trying to get into a figure drawing class for two semesters, but they were always the first to fill up. My name's Kyle Michaels. I'm an artist. Well, I'm a lot of things, but 'artist' is one of the first descriptors I think of when I define myself.

Hmm, only a few people around so far. Today's the first day of classes, so we'll probably just go over the syllabus. Probably won't be...much...excitement...My thoughts trailed off asshe entered the room.

Wow, was the first thought that managed to claw its way to my conscious mind. The second was:This girl is trouble.

She was dressed college chic: a dark gray, fitted tee shirt hugged every delightful curve and ended just below her navel, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of the taut, tanned skin of her stomach and waist. The materiel of her black pants looked to be soft velvet and likewise clung to a pair of very shapely legs. Sequined shoes peeked daintily from beneath the cuffs of her pants. Everything about her seemed designed to attract attention.

Dark, almond-shaped eyes met mine. They sparkled mischievously: rich umber pools framed by long, dark lashes. My pulse skipped a beat- she had noticed my perusal. Full lips pulled back, from a row of dazzling white teeth..Yep, definitely trouble.

I felt my face flush as I hurriedly looked away and felt a surge of annoyance at my reaction. What was going on? I wasn't an sixteen anymore, why was she having this effect on me? I had worked hard over the years to improve both my body and mind, and I considered no woman to be out of my league. In fact, I had dated some pretty dazzling women in my time. Still, when I looked at her, there was this nagging feeling of...what? Attraction, sure; but something else as well.

I turned it over in my mind, examining this feeling. It wasn't something I usually felt when meeting women. Anxiety. That's what it was. Trepidation bordering on fear.She's a heart breaker, my instincts warned.You're just setting yourself up for disappointment with that one.

To both my consternation and delight, she sat next to me as we waited for our instructor to arrive. Surreptitiously, I tried to sneak glances without being too obvious. Damn, even in school renowned for beautiful coeds, she stood out. Her profile was flawless, and the artist in me itched to draw it.

When the instructor began taking roll, I listened intently. When the name "Jessica Solimine" was called I heard her voice for the first time.

"Here, but I prefer just 'Jess'," she replied. Her voice was sweetly feminine, yet slightly husky. I found the contrast delightful. She wound a dark strand of shoulder-length hair through her fingers and toyed with it as the other names were called.

As I suspected, the rest of the class period passed quickly. I admit, I barely heard a word the instructor said- all I could think about was the gorgeous creature sitting next to me. When we were dismissed, I hurriedly began stuffing my notebook back into my backpack as I rehearsed what I would say to her. I had been thinking about it the entire class. For some reason, my usual wit had completely deserted me, and when I ran through the scenarios in my mind, most of them ended up with her either offended or scornful. Steeling myself, I prepared myself for the opening salvo in the battle of the sexes.

She was gone. While I had been daydreaming she had wasted no time in exiting the class. Of course. Girls like her always had someplace to be. Dammit! I quickly slung my unwieldy backpack across my shoulders and hurried from the room.

Outside was chaos. Where was she? The hall was packed with students rushing to and from classes on the first day of classes.There! I spotted her just before she rounded the corner. Apologizing, I pushed and shouldered my way through the crowd. I managed to catch up to her just as she exited the building.

Feigning nonchalance, I fell in beside her, "So, what do you think about the class?"

If she was surprised by my sudden appearance or inquiry, she didn't show it, "Mmm, I think I'm gonna like it. The teacher seems really sweet."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it; I've been trying to get into this class for a couple of semesters now," I replied, somewhat lamely.

"Really? So it's a good class then?" she asked as she began rummaging through her purse, "Do you have a lighter?"

"Uh, no...sorry, " Damn it. I had two nice butane lighters sitting at home that I hardly ever used. Mentally, I kicked myself for not having brought one.

"That's okay," she replied as she pulled out a lighter and tried to light her cigarette. With the wind, it took several tries.Note to self: bring a damn lighter next time. Finally successful, she took a drag before turning back to regard me. I was still standing there dumbly, franticly trying to think of something to say. She snapped me out of my reverie.

"What was your name again?"

"Kyle. Yours?" I replied, holding out my hand.

"Jess," she responded as she clasped my hand in her own. Soft skin, but a firm grip.

Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, I decided a strategic retreat was in order. I needed to get away and pull myself together. "Well, I'll see you in class I guess."Good God, I laughed at the absurdity,could I have been any more akward?

As I walked back toward the library, I tried to put the incident behind me.Well, what's done is done. Probably has a boyfriend anyway. Lucky bastard.

As I entered the library, my spirits lifted. Most of the people I work with are pretty cool, and its an easy job. I check out the books and laptops, and deal with the various problems that pop up. My buddy Tommy was sitting at his desk when I walked over and flopped down on an adjacent chair. He greeted me the same way he always did:

"Hey man, what goin' on?" he asked as he clasped my hand an a viselike grip which I returned in kind.

I replied the same way I always did. "Not much man," With the image of Jess still fresh in my mind I added, "Just got out of my first figure drawing class."

"Oh yeah, how'd it go?"

"I think I'm gonna like it," I hesitated, a superstitious doubt surfacing in my mind.Don't say anything about her, you'll jinx it. Smiling inwardly at my childishness, I pushed the doubt back down, "There's a girl in my class..." I trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Sensing the direction the conversation was heading, Tommy's dark face split into a grin. "Oh yeah, she fine?"

I adjusted my ball cap as I tried to formulate a response, "She's...just...man...yeah." Real eloquent I know.

"Good shit man," he replied appreciatively.

"Yeah," I replied absently.Focus man! I chided myself. Logging in to my workstation, I resolved to concentrate on the next two hours of my shift. Yet, over those next two hours I found my mind drifting back to what happened earlier that day.

***

I awoke the next morning to the hellacious screeching of my alarm clock. Blearily, I rolled over and fumbled and slapped blindly around until it fell blessedly silent. Squinting, I tried to focus my sleep-impaired eyes on the blue numbers glowing in the dark. Five a.m.-PT (Army Physical Training) today. Damn, damn, damn.

I heard myself groan piteously as I forced myself out of my warm, deliciously comfortable, inviting bed. "Cripes," I moaned to the otherwise empty apartment. I needed some motivation. I stumbled over to my PC and nudged the mouse, awaking it from its own hibernation. The hard drive whirred and the speakers popped in protest.

Still blinking the sleep from my eyes, I pulled up my music player and looked for something to wake me up.Ah, here we go-The Dropkick Murphys always get me amped up. As the dulcet tones of "Shipping up to Boston" began to play I unsteadily made my way to the kitchen.

On the way, I passed my mirror and greeted my reflection. Man, I had seen better days. An errant thought came unbidden to my mind. Is there any possibility that a girl like Jess could be attracted to that guy in the mirror? It reminded me of a movie. Remember in Star Wars when Han Solo asks Luke, "You think a princess and a guy like me...?" It worked out pretty well for him. Of course, this wasn't a movie. Real life doesn't always have a happy ending. That thought was pushed away as I popped a caffeine pill and chugged some Gatorade before pulling my PT uniform on and heading out the door.

The day passed pretty quickly after that. I did PT, went home, showered , ate a quick breakfast, then it was off to class. My painting class seemed promising, but I knew all those supplies were going to be expensive. Well, at least I could focus here.No beautiful girls to distract me, I thought wryly,Just the usual humdrum activities of the day.I was starting to recover my equilibrium.

I checked my class schedule while I Idly considered how much these supplies would cost. My next class was Advanced Drawing, and according to the creased, smudged sheet of paper in my hands, it was in the same room as my figure drawing class the previous day.

With a slight sense of déjà vu, I walked into the studio and sat at the same bench I had occupied previously. I was in deep thought (considering what to have for lunch) when I heard a melodic voice say brightly, "Hey, looks like we have the same classes."

I looked up to see Jess smiling at as she took a seat next to me, "Hey," I greeted her. Yep, that was it. Smooth. I could feel a big, stupid grin spreading across my face at the sight of her. Something had to be done, this woman had cast some kind of spell on me. I needed to find out what kind of person she was. If it was a purely physical attraction, I knew I'd get over it quickly; but if she was as nice as she seemed I might be in trouble.

Over the next couple of weeks or so we got to know each other a little better. To my dismay, the more I saw of her, the more I was drawn to her. Her story was as bittersweet and romantic a Hollywood movie. She had met a guy in the Bahamas, and after a whirlwind romance had decided to move here from halfway across the country to be closer to him. They eventually split up, but she was already in love with the area and decided to stay. Of course, that's not all there was to it, but that her story to tell, not mine. I wondered what kind of idiot would let her get away.

I considered it. Maybe she had some kind of fault I just wasn't seeing. She didn't seem spoiled or self-entitled like a lot of college girls. She was actually pretty sweet and thoughtful. She always noticed when a classmate made a change to their hairstyle or complimented them on an article of clothing. Plus, she was a talented artist in her own right, so I couldn't rely on my artistic talent to impress her. That only left my natural charm. God help me.

Of course, I wasn't the only affected. All the other guys were practically tripping over each other to offer advice or see if she needed any help. She just had that effect on us, we were drawn like moths to a flame. Was it some nurturing, protective instinct? Its not like she needed or asked for the help. She's not one of those girls who plays the damsel in distress, I'm pretty sure she's capable of handling just about any problem that could be thrown at her.

I'm ashamed to say I was no better. I found myself following her around like a lost puppy until I realized what I was doing. Consciously, I realized that I was doing everything wrong. With everyone else, I was cool and confident. I commanded a platoon in my reserve unit, and when I gave an order it was instantly obeyed. With her, I was supplicating, women don't want a doormat, but I couldn't seem to help myself. I enjoyed helping her, talking with her. The words of one of my girlfriends echoed in my head:Kyle, you know what your problem is? You're too nice. You're great husband material, but not boyfriend material. You need to be a little more of a jerk. I mean, don't just be like an asshole, but...yeah, more of a jerk. Good advice, up to a point. I just couldn't seem to make myself follow it here. Maybe I should drink a little alcohol before class to loosen up. I could try someone else, maybe that would help get my head straight. There was that girl from the gallery who gave me her number...no, I rejected the notion. No one else appealed to me.

What made the situation all the more frustrating was my inability to get a read off her. Normally, I at least have some general inkling if a girl is interested. Not with Jess. She was nice and outgoing with everyone. Sometimes I thought I saw some spark of interest, but it always gone too quickly to tell.

Midway through the class period, we were given a ten minute break. Stretching catlike, Jess murmured, "I'm gonna go have a cigarette."

"I'll go with you."Dumbass! What are you doing? my mind yelled at me.

"You smoke?" she asked in surprise.

"No, I just need some fresh air. The fumes from the sharpies we're using are giving me a headache," Well, that was true enough.

When I stepped outside, I discovered the temperature had dropped by probably fifteen degrees in the last hour. Crazy-ass Texas weather.

"Wow, it got cold fast," Jess remarked behind me. Her arms were pulled tightly around herself as she lit a cigarette.

I touched her arm lightly, "Wow, you've got goosebumps already."

On impulse, I stepped closer and wrapped an arm around her for warmth. It took a second to register what I'd done.What are you doing? Now she's going to think your that creepy jackass that likes to get grabby. Reluctantly, I released her and stepped back as I berated myself mentally. She hadn't protested or pulled away, but I felt like a fool. Still, it had been nice while it lasted; she was the perfect size to hold. Well, the damage was done I guess, time to go before I managed to embarrass myself.

"It's a little too cold out here, I'll see you back inside."

***

When I had the dream that night I knew I was in trouble. In it, I just held her the way I had earlier. Nothing more, just that single moment frozen in time. When I awoke, I could almost still feel her there. That was it. I had delayed long enough. Too long probably. One way or another I needed to put an end to these doubts and speculation. If she rejected me...well, I could get over it, but I had to get this out of my system.

I was in agony waiting for a chance to speak to her alone that day. When I saw the opportunity, I seized it.Here we go.

Wow, butterflies in my stomach. "So Jess, are you doing anything for Valentine's Day?" Not bad, at least I sounded calm.

"Mmm, not sure. I've been seeing a guy regularly, but he hasn't asked me specifically. Why? What about you?"

Well, I was hoping to take you out. That's what I wanted to say, but the words caught in my throat. Disappointed, I replied breezily, "Probably nothing. There's a party at the Square I might go to," I paused briefly to gather my thoughts, "So, why hasn't that guy made plans with you? I thought Valentine's Day was a big deal for couples."

"Well, he's not my boyfriend. We've just been seeing each other. I mean, we see each other just about every day, so we'll probably do something on Valentine's."

"Oh."Damn, what do I do now?

What could I say? "Hey, if your plans fall through, would you settle for going out with me?" I don't think so, I do have some pride after all. I had to do something. I'd rather crash and burn than not act and then wonder what might have happened.Play to your strengths, I told myself,Think about it, what are you good at? How can you use that? Be creative.

Well, I'm a good artist, but so is she. Besides, I've already drawn her portrait for Figure Drawing. I needed something more than just a way to express admiration for her looks. Think man, think. I could ask her to the ROTC formal. No, that's not for a couple of months, a lot can happen in between now and then. Send flowers? No, that might be too cliché, and unwelcome if she's not interested. What then? Write her a note? Nah...wait...maybe, but not a note though.

I had recently discovered that I enjoyed creative writing. I had submitted one of my short stories to an online writing site for critique, and it had been well received. If I remembered correctly, there was a Valentine's Day writing contest going on. Maybe I could put how I felt down in a short story and ask her to critique it. I still wasn't sure though. What if the story sucked, or the idea freaked her out? Could I risk it? I needed a second opinion.

***

The guy I needed was working at the library that evening. Wes is one of those guys it would have been easy for me to hate if he hadn't been so cool. Tall, dark, and handsome, he had the kind of looks that girls swoon over. Me, well I'm not bad looking, but I'm not the tall, skinny GQ type either. I trusted Wes with this- he was a guy so he could understand what I felt. He was also a damn good writer, and I valued his opinion. After I summarized my idea, he sat back and considered it.

"I like it man, I think you should go for it."

"Seriously? You think I can pull it off?"

"Totally man, no question. You're a badass writer, just put it out there and see what happens. If it doesn't work, fuck it-plenty more fish in the sea."

"Yeah."Problem is, most fish aren't worth catching.

"Damn man, I've never seen you act this way about a girl before. Relax. Just play it cool, let her come to you."

"Yeah, I know what you're saying. That's the way I usually play it, but with this girl...she's got me so mixed up I feel like I'm a idiot teenager again," I cracked my knuckles in frustration as I tried to describe the situation, "Its like, she shows up and suddenly I turn into this awkward, bumbling mess. I don't understand it. So far, I think I've managed to do everything wrong I possibly could. I don't know man, I just feel this need to impress her for some reason, to prove myself. She's not even the type I usually go for."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Opposites attract and all that."

"Maybe you're right, I mean the last few dates I've had with girls I thought were my type have been disasters. I like to listen mostly; I can't carry a whole conversation on my own y'know?"

"I hear you man. Its like me and my girl. We've got enough common interests to get along, but we argue about enough stuff to keep it interesting."

"You've convinced me. I'm gonna do it, and if it doesn't work, well..." I smiled grimly, " I prefer not to think about that."

"Good luck man," he said as he shot me a mock salute.

I barked a short laugh, "thanks."

I was bursting with enthusiasm the next day. Hope springs eternal right? I found Jess taping a paper in place for a drawing when I finally decided to ask.

"Hey Jess?"

"Hmm?" she replied distractedly.

"I was wondering if you would do me a favor."

She glanced over at me before replying , "Sure, what's up?"

"Well, I'm working on a story for a Valentine's Day writing contest," I ran my hand through my hair nervously, "I was just wondering if you would read it and give me your opinion before I submitted it."

"You like to write?"

"Yeah, I just started during the break, but I enjoy it."

"Oh my God, take me now!" she cried passionately as she threw herself into my arms. Haha! No, that didn't actually happen. It would've been cool though right?

Instead, she replied, "Sure, I can take a look at it for you."

"Cool, I guess I'll send a copy to you in a couple of days."