True Confessions: A Love Letter
I close my eyes and feel your presence with me, though your body is not here, I can feel your soul. It reaches out to me from across miles and miles of land. It calls to me...a longing ache...as if it is waiting for me to merge with it. My heart breaks knowing I can't be with you in the physical world but only with you in the world we create for each other in our minds.
The words you write for me touch me deeply causing tremors through out my body. When your name appears on my screen my stomach tightens in knots. I touch the screen with my hands, wanting it to be your face, your lips, your heart beating beneath my touch. I don't have the words that you do. I don't write verses of poetry but, stories of passion, of want and of need.
Though we met just a few days ago, I feel as if I've known you forever. What you have brought to my life in such a short time, is something I had lost long ago. You are all the special things in my life I have lost...from the simple to the hardest...you feel a void in my heart that has been missing for such a long time I had forgotten what it felt like to have it complete.
I have read your words of poetry and I'm moved by them knowing they were written long before you knew me though I feel as if they were written for me, as if they were waiting for me to find them. When I am with you and our innocent talks turn to passionate caresses, I feel you beside me..holding my hands, touching my face, memorizing my body, so when we say goodbye, your able to keep me with you.
You have become the first thing I think of when I open my eyes and the last thing I see before I close them. I don't know what you look like, nor do I care. You are everything I love and desire all hidden away from my eyes. A mist in my life that covers me protecting me and sheltering me from pain and cruelty. I never wish to leave the protective covering of your presence, to feel you surrounding me with love and with beauty.
I had planned on writing a story for us, a story of love that was so deep it would stand the test of time and it would end with our love triumphing over all obstacles placed in our paths. But I cannot because a story has an ending and I don't want this feeling to ever end.
Your voice I have only heard once and it stays in my mind, playing over and over..never losing its sound. Even when you didn't talk I was happy just to have you there. The quietness of the room engulfed me and it was your presence again I felt. I lay on my bed and just listened to you...taking a moment to enjoy the company you gave to me. When we are together and our words flow onto the screen and we pause in our talking I still feel your presence, I am still watching the screen as if I am watching you, feeling at ease though I can't see you.
I long to hear your voice again, to be comfortable to converse with you as easily as I do now on this paper. How we speak in our love making and in our talks the words just flow from my heart and reach out to you. I sit here now not knowing if I'll even send this to you, but keep it locked away in a special place for me. But then I immediately think, how could I not share with you what I am feeling? How could I not share these things with you? How could I make such a decision that would not allow you to know what you have done to me? But how do I? How do I continue to reach out and grasp what I cannot have? But I will ......
I will continue to love you as long as you'll let me, I'll continue to hold you as long as you'll let me. I'll continue to want you as long as you'll let me...and when you feel it is time for me to go, then I will...I will look back and remember every word written, every word spoken and every touch that was made, and I will not forget....