True Lies - Redux Ch. 04

The C-130 flew us only as far as RAF Lakenheath in England. The USAF pretty much owns that base and the good news for Jenn and I was that a C-21A was waiting for us there. That was a USAF Learjet that could carry 6 passengers comfortably at close to 500 MPH more than 3000 miles before refueling was necessary. We would be a lot more comfortable crossing the Atlantic and could maybe sleep some of our nerves and exhaustion away. There was plenty of room as we were the only passengers though a USAF corporal acting as a stewardess was also on board. Our seats laid back and Jenn was in the seat next to me and she was soon asleep. I was tired but still awake and thinking about just how lucky everything turned out so far.

I couldn't help think about Grayson and the problems and threats he still presented to our country, but also the damage he had casually brought to "little nobody me" and my marriage to Rachel. He undoubtedly did that all the time. Just didn't care. His kind seldom do. And that brought me to thinking about Rachel. I had been a tad too busy to think about her the past 3 days, but now I was back with some downtime and here she was front and center in my mind. I just - missed her. I really did. And I couldn't see any way to get her back, or at least get "us" back, the way we were. In love. Happy. Satisfied. I always thought I was that way with her and I thought she was that way with me. But maybe I was just wrong about that. Sometimes hindsight isn't even 20-20, as I could not look back now and figure out what I could have done different.

I needed to talk with Rachel. But I wondered if she would ever tell me the truth? Would I, could I, ever tell her the honest truth in return?

After a while my mind spun down and I started to dose. Then Jenn kind of jerked and moaned in her sleep, like maybe in a nightmare. I got my arm under her and her head on my shoulder and held and rocked her until she settled down and started breathing deeply again.

I had no idea what she had been through the past 5 days - but I could guess it was a LOT worse than what I had been through. I could only hope and pray she wasn't traumatized too bad. She was living a tough life, doing a hard job that required many personal sacrifices, risking her health and life, and with only a questionable "happy future" to look forward too. Rachel had had a very comfortable life, with little apparent sacrifices at all, nothing dangerous to her own life and limb, and with only a bright happy future to look forward to, and yet that wasn't nearly enough for her. Hard not to be objectively bitter at the comparisons, even if I could get out of my own personal bias subjectivity. And yet here I was still stuck in love with Rachel, more than Jennifer. I loved and respected Jennifer in so many ways - but I was still definitely "in love" with my idiot spoiled and faithless wife.

Life sucks and then you die.

But it was time to confront Rachel and we still needed to take care of the asswipe bastard, Grayson Peterson III.

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Just to be clear - more to come soon! The Author.