True Love Ch. 01

The day ended and the two of them left. As a new video started up I broke down in tears. It was the first night in a lot of nights that I'd cried. I don't know what I felt, shame, desire, complete confusion, humiliation, loss of control. All of it, none of it. What I wanted was John.

I tossed and turned, had dreams I didn't remember, woke up and slept again in an exhausting cycle.

The lights came on, Claire came in. She didn't say anything, just picked up my head, placed it in her lap and just let me cry for a bit.

"You must exercise." The cold hard voice sounded out in the room.

She gave me a short peck, then we went and worked out. We talked and I found out a bit more about how they'd come here. Taken, they'd been here years. I didn't want to know how many. She didn't go in to details about what had been done to them. I knew what the training was like and she'd said before she'd been through the same.

Later, as we were practicing massage I sighed and started opening my legs as her hand slipped down the front of my knickers. "Do you think you could give Darren a proper hand job, skin on skin?" She rushed on as I clearly tensed up, "I know you don't want to do more, but it would be so much better for him. You know he's fallen for you?"

"No... he can't."

"He does. It's the only choice left us here, who we love. You're the third we've trained. One... well she couldn't cope and killed herself. That was tough. One did fine, hell she fell into it hook line and sinker. You... you've been different. You've kept yourself while bending only so far. He would never do anything you didn't want, but just that little more would mean so much."

"Its not sex, its only a hand job, a massage, but just that little bit of touch would mean a lot to him. You do care for him don't you?"

I lay there, silent as her hand slowly, almost painfully slowly, circled my clit. "Yes, but I'm married. I can't care for him... that way. I can't betray my husband."

"And are you sure you're husband hasn't?"

"Yes!" I had to be, had to be sure of John. Otherwise I had nothing left. "Yes. Oh..." I abandoned myself to her fingers, soon joined by her tongue.

Then, a soft buzzing and an incredible sensation. I jerked my head up to see a cheeky grin on Claire's face as she slid a metal cylinder into me. "Didn't you see the video on toys girls use?" Vaguely I remembered bits that filtered through my depression last night. God! I sunk back and let her go at me.

A little later she showed me a case filled with things that boggled my mind. Vibrators I'd kind of heard of, the far too realistic dildos both fascinated and repulsed me, the balls and strings and other items I didn't entirely understand, and the "butt plugs" scared me. I also just didn't understand what she was getting at as she held up this complex set of straps and rings. She giggled, "Soon I'll show you, OK. Right now, its my turn for a massage. Use this a little later." She put aside a black leather cock. Not too big, it was short and thin. Still, it looked scarily realistic. "They won't let us use the big ones. Keeps us hungry you see."

I felt a bit shell shocked, but pulled myself together to give her a nice deep massage. On turning her over she sighed as I slowly worked on her breasts. "Honey, use your mouth." I will still a bit bothered by some things, but lowered my mouth to lick and suck at a nipple. One of the things I liked about Claire was she was always so clear about what she liked and wanted.

Soon I "wandered" lower. I had so far generally kept my eyes closed, it didn't feel decent to look. Yet I had to. My mouth was dry as I picked up the very realistic cock. I put some lubrication on it, then using my fingers and tongue opened her up to slide it in. My own vagina pulsed in sudden need as I did. I had a sudden deep urge to be filled up and though longingly of John.

That night she left me alone after a long lingering kiss. I was getting used to those and kind of liked them. It was the same and so very different from kissing a guy. Things like how breasts and nipples rubbed against each other changed the whole sensation, plus her scent was so wildly different from anything I was used to from John.

As the door closed I sat on the bed, suddenly so very lonely. A video started up and suddenly I understood how all those straps where supposed to work. My god. I had lived such a sheltered life.

Next day I was with Darren. He was so sweet, treating me so carefully and I could see what Claire said was true. Thing was, I fancied him something fierce. It was just wrong. I was married, had made a promise and would not break it. Yet... yet... as I stood there beside him, massaging his stomach, looking down and the clearly defined bulge in his tiny pants I knew I couldn't resist at least a little bit more.

I slid my hand down under the band of red silk and wrapped my fingers around that thick shaft. Shivering I slowly withdrew it, then began to give him a hand job as best I knew how. What a guy, he didn't react, didn't shout, didn't even touch me, he just sighed my name softly and let me. It was very powerful for me, and I kept telling myself this wasn't really sex.

I... joined him in the shower afterwards, soaping up his long penis. "Darren, you know I can't do more than this? Do you understand?"

He nodded, though I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I don't want you hurt Claire, I'd never do anything to do that. If this is what you can give..." His cock started to grow again in my hands. It took every ounce of my will not to drop to my knees and suck him. Instead I walked to the side, leaned against him, and slowly began to stroke. When one of his hands slipped down the back of my knickers, I didn't stop him. Slowly, yes lovingly, we brought each other off. It wasn't sex, I know it wasn't. In a way it was worse.

Days slipped by, sometimes I was with one of them, occasionally with both. I became very familiar with Darren's body, though very carefully stayed on just this side of decency. My hands knew every inch of him, I grew to know exactly how to please him. Some of that surprised me, he liked me to put a finger somewhere naughty. But, and it was such an important but to me, we did not kiss, we did not have real sex. It was massage, arguably loving massage, but to be true to myself that's all it was.

I also learned new games with Claire. She taught me all about the box of toys that now lived under my bed. I learned all about that set of straps. Having her on top of me was shocking, even more shocking was being on top. I liked it though. I could also see what she meant about keeping us hungry. I'd only known four cocks in my life, only three ever inside me. These fake ones where all smaller and though fun, left you wanting just a little more you know?

Still things jolted me at times. I vivdly remember lying on my back and looking down to see Claire's head between my legs. A sudden vision of John, lying like I was, a man between his legs giving him a blow job flashed into my brain. Had that happened, was that what all the punishment was a while back? He had always been strongly anti gay, downright afraid of even being around a man known to be homosexual. Had he been brought to this?

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. It may had happened, likely had. A twinge of jelousy hit me, but I put it aside. I wasn't one to complain given what I'd done. Yet the image kept haunting me. Had it happened, and how had he coped. I remembered Claire saying one of the women she'd trained had committed suicide.

For days I worried about it until Claire stopped me and asked what was bothering me. I confessed and she said nothing more. Two days latter and a voice I barely recognize sounded in the room one night when I was alone.

"Cindy?"

"John? Baby is that you?"

"Yes... Are you OK?" His voice sounded strange, I couldn't put my finger on it.

"No... yes... I don't know." The last came out with a sob.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I don't think I'm allowed to say anymore other than I love you."

"I love you too darling!" There was no response and the room was silent. I cried myself to sleep again.

I tried to work out how long I'd been here. Two months, three? If I was told it had been six I wouldn't be too surprised. The days blended into each other, though some, like the day I met Darren, or first put my hand down his pants, stuck out. Most where just a blur of exercise, grooming and... well... sex.

Then came the next of those memorable days. The lights came up, I rubbed my eyes but smiled in anticipation of seeing Claire as Darren had been with me the day before. The smile froze on my face as a woman I had never seen before came through the door. She was a red head, fairly short hair, quite boyish really. She was also dressed in a tight fitting, if short, dress.

Having not seen anyone other than Claire and Darren for months, it was a shock. "Hello, I'm Elke." The name was familiar, Claire talked about her. She was Claire's other close friend. That's what she called me too. "Your trainers where not allowed to tell you of the change. You are deemed far enough along to begin working with others."

She stood there looking at me. It was a kind enough look, but I suddenly realised I had nothing but a thong on. In a panic my arms crossed over my chest, and I looked down blushing.

"Modesty is not allowed." The cold voice rang out. I hadn't heard it in a while, but it still filled me with fear.

I dropped my arms, unable to look at her.

"I know this is hard. I have been there too. There are things I have to remind you of. You know that anything you have done with your trainers is available to others?" I felt my brows furrow, I did vaguely remember Claire saying that.

"But..."

"There is no buts, just as there is no tricks. Claire truly loves you, she wants to please you, the unfortunate side effect is your availability. It is part of the twisted way of the owners. Never blame her, she wants the best for you, wants to please you and wants to make your life here easier. She is doing her best." I hung my head more, believing it and hating this place all the more that twists love around that way. "I don't believe she has taught you the words?"

"Words? I don't understand."

"No, then she has not. They are perhaps one of the hardest parts of this place, but also the easiest if you set them in your mind correctly. The owners and patrons use simple words to command us. They are designed to demean us. If you understand that then you can learn them and obey them without them hurting you. Too many take the words to heart and therefore hurt all the more."

"Let me start and teach you the basics. We will practice each one for a while, then move on to have you serve me as you will eventually a patron."

"Please, will I see Claire and Darren again?" I was suddenly struck with the pain. The pain that I hadn't felt in ages.

It withdrew. "You surely know better than to ask questions. What will be, will be. Lets begin." I looked up at her, to find a face full of concern and worry. She hated the pain too, but did as she was told all the same. I could understand that far too easily. The pain was a hard teacher.

Elke was gentle with me, though what she was teaching was so very hard. "Heal" meant standing one step behind and one step beside. "Fetch" was just that, usually followed by what was wanted.

"Sit" meant bum on heels, knees a shoulders width apart, hands resting lightly on thighs, back straight, tits out. She then demonstrated why the knees had to be apart, her hand slipping up between my legs. I couldn't help it, I jerked away. It was too intimate, too familiar.

As suddenly as I did it, I was filled with the pain. I hadn't been punished in a long time, and the pure agony re-inforced the underlying terror of this place. I'd been lulled into complacency, even happiness. The pain receded, and I found myself folded into a foetal position.

Elke was there, stroking my hair. She murmured that this was the same with everyone in training. That first time with a strangers touch was always the worst. Out of the hard cold walls the voice sounded, "Continue."

Elke touched my cheek, "Sit." She helped me sit up. I felt week, but knew I couldn't, no... wouldn't resist. That punishment had broken one small part of me. What ever she did, I simply could not resist. I would let almost anything happen to me rather than feel that pain.

Together we got me into the position. Her eyes locked onto mine and her hand slipped up between my legs. I whimpered, but this time only twitched. Her finger was slick, she'd somehow lubricated it, so it slid softly between my legs down there. I wasn't wet, wasn't at all aroused, yet her finger teased me. I found myself shifting like a little girl needing to go to the toilet. Her eyes continued to hold mine. I felt my brow furrow, my lip slip between my teeth. I felt myself moisten and expand down there.

Her hand pulled back. "I am sorry darling. It is a hard lesson, but now we continue". "Display" was to stand in front, legs a shoulder width apart, hands crossed behind your back, head turned to one side. At this point she slowly felt my breasts. I chewed my lip at the sensations brought on. My body was betraying me, making me horny, when all I wanted to do was just bloody put up with it. How could a strange woman, kneeding my breasts turn me on?

"Worship" was to go into the sit position, but then provide oral sex. She didn't make me do that, she just emplained it. Without being told I knew the lessons would go further soon enough.

"Present" was particularly demeaning. Feet a shoulders width apart, knees locked, bent over with wrists cross at the small of your back, back bowed, head up. She explained it could lead to many things and warned me that patrons did have the right of corporal punishment. I was quietly sobbing at this point, though determined not to be punished again myself. It didn't help when she gently stroked me between my legs, emphasising how vulnerable I was like this.

"Spank" was to put oneself over a patron's legs. "Bark" was to get on ones hands and knees. "Pray" to lay on ones back, legs spread, scarily with hands crossed behind your neck.

It went on and on. I tried to remember them, many were easy because they were dog commands, some were bizarre, a few scary. I was trembling and sobbing by the time she told me we were done.

She took me by the shoulders, "You've done well. I know its hard, but you've done well. Will move on now. I'm sure you won't struggle to undress others, you've done this before, maybe with your husband?" I nodded, but felt like crying again. "Good, good. Now though you have to learn a new skill. Again, it is done to humiliate and put down. Remember that and just serve."

"Now, turn around and cross your wrists. I'm not going to hurt you, and am going to tie them in a way you can undo it yourself." I was shivering, I'd never been bound before. She took a soft silks scarf, did a figure of eight around my wrists, then tied it with a big bow so I could undo it myself.

"Here is the trick, and we will practise it often. You must undress using only your mouth."

I snorted, "You're joking!"

"I am not, many patrons think it quite amusing. The more skilled you are, the easier life will be." She began to talk me through it, and, getting more and more frustrated, I tried. If anyone ever tells you it's a snap to undo a button with your teeth and tongue they never have. After undoing her bra strap left me in tears, I only noticed I had her nipple in my mouth at her soft "Suckle" that it popped out in shock. "Please, for a moment. Claire said you had a talented mouth."

So, on my knees, hands tied behind my back I softly sucked on her nipple. She was practically flat chested. "Many patrons like the little boy look," was all the explanation I got. Then we carried on. The skirt zipper was easy, suspender belts touch, stockings a nightmare, knickers... easy. Soon after I then found myself faced with my second vagina.

I found I was turned on, my breasts tingling, my crotch moistening. I did her, then gave her a massage, then did her again, then bathed her and did her a third time. I was pretty worked up myself. She kept offering me soft words of encouragement, always gentle yet always firm in what I was to do. It was only after that last time in the shower that she told me to stand, then reached out with one hand, just one finger and touched me between my legs. It took less than a minute until I had a crashingly hard cum, it dropped me to my knees.

She helped me up, we dried each other off, then she handed me a tiny thong and matching bra. "Please. Now it gets harder." As I slipped them on a strange man walked through the door.

I wanted to run and hide. Without knowing I'd done it, Elke was slowly pulling my arms down. "Display." I closed my eyes and huffed in surprise, but remembered what it meant. Biting my lip I spread my feet, put my arms behind my back and turned my head. He strolled around me with a leer on his face.

Other than John and Darren no man had seen me this exposed or undressed in a very long time. I had known this was coming, I'd just avoided thinking about it.

"Nice ass, and those legs would feel fantastic wrapped around me." I blushed, not in pleasure but in the presumption I'd have sex with him. I was still very firm in my own mind what line I was NOT going to cross. He continued walking around me. "Oh yeah. Those tits are fantastic." My blush deepened. I know guys talked like that to each other, but I'd never had someone talk to me that way. Even John, who I know had said he loved my breasts, was never so crude in private. It was humiliating, and I had to keep reminding myself what Elke had said. Humiliation was the point.

His arms were thrown wide. "OK, undress me!"

I turned to Elke, who looked at me sympathetically, but nodded. "Without..."

"Yes, without hands."

I shut my eyes for a moment, not for the first time despairing at what I'd been landed in, but turned and faced him. Elke again gently tied up my hands behind me. At her soft urging I began to unbutton his white shirt with my mouth. Having him grin down at me wasn't making it any easier!

I got the shirt off, then went down on my knees. It was extremely humiliating to completely prostrate myself to untie his shoes. Even worse was going behind him to hold the back of the shoe down, yet keep myself enough out of the way so that he could pull his foot out. It was hard work, as well as the mental strain, so when I finally ended up on my knees in front of him I was a wreck.

Thank god he didn't stroke or pat my head, otherwise I might have flipped. It was bad enough having him stand there with that cocky grin on his face. His belt was easy enough, but the catch on his trousers took a number of tries. I hated having my face so close to his crotch as I pulled them down, but what choice was there? My nose rubbed against his slickly clad cock. It twitched, making me cringe.

I didn't have to do more, so thankfully Elke untied my wrists and the guy went and lay face down on the massage table. Elke massage my own shoulder and I took a calming breath. It didn't help much.

I oiled my hands and began with his shoulders. I still felt tense and nervous, but gained a bit of confidence as I went on. This wasn't that different to massaging Darren, though he was shorter with more of a swimmer's build to Darren's rugby player. Over the next half hour I moved down his body, using all I knew to relax his muscles. Thankfully he stayed silent.

It was when he turned over that I tensed up again. His pants showed the clear outline of an erection. This was turning him on. Elke's warm breath whispered in my ear. "I believe you have done skin to skin hand jobs?" I nodded, my stomach dropping. "I think you understood it could be part of a full massage?" I nodded again, curtly, my worst fears realised. "When a patron is obviously needing relief, you can move straight to what's necessary. This doesn't necessarily apply with a woman, but certainly does with a man."