True Love Ch. 09

I could hear her call out my name, but all I could think about was finishing. I needed to cum. My arms clutched her hips tightly and pulled her into each of my violent thrusts. My biceps strained. I struggled to maintain my rhythm as I felt my orgasm approaching. With one final forward thrust my cock expanded inside of her and I came. I collapsed on top of her as my orgasm subsided. Her arms wrapped around me and stroked the hair at the back of my head.

"Sleep love. Just sleep love." She cooed in my ear and calmed me. My eyes drifted shut as I listened to her words.

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I awoke to the sun in my face. The bright light was shining through the blinds of our dorm room window. I looked away from the light and rolled over. I had expected to roll into the body of Sam, but instead found our little twin bed empty. I twisted sharply and looked around the room.

It was empty.

I got out of bed and walked to our bathroom. It too was empty. It was not only missing Sam, but any signs of her. Her toiletries were gone. The once cluttered sink counter that was caked with makeup and assorted items was now bare. The bathtub only had my body wash along the walls instead of her berry scented shampoos.

I went back to the room. I could see the dust particles reflecting in the sunlight. It was eerie how empty the room felt without her in it. I rushed over to the drawers. As I pulled them open my heart began to race faster and faster. Each one of the drawers that had been used by Sam was now barren. My hands pressed against the naked wood, hoping that I was seeing things.

My eyes searched franticly for any signs of her. That was when they locked onto the nightstand. There in the light of the sun was a velvet covered box sitting on top of a piece of paper. I dropped to my knees in front of the end table and opened the box.

The spring opened smoothly and revealed a small silver disc. It was a pocket watch. I lifted it by its chain. I was too confused, too in shock to do anything but look at it. I watched it spin in place before dropping it into my open palm. I clutched the heavy watch in my grasp. It was cold. I placed it on the ground. I needed answers, not a watch.

My fingers shook as I grabbed the letter. Before I even began to read I could smell the sweet scent of Sam on the letter. My eyes watered as I brought it to my nose and took a big whiff.

"Dear Alex, I know these written words will offer little comfort, but I must tell you the truth. These last two and a half years have been the most liberating and joyous ones of my life. I lied to you because I knew that you wouldn't understand. I withheld telling you about the application to Brown because I was selfish. I wanted as many wonderful days with you as possible, free from any arguments of sad eyes. I know you think the world of me. I know you love me as much as I love you, but I'm not the woman you think I am. I am weak. My willpower is weak. I know this will surprise you, but I have not been faithful. When you left on those road trips I tossed and turned thinking of you. I grew so restless. Then I would get around these women, and I would lose myself. The first time it happened I felt so horrible. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't. I couldn't ruin what we had. I don't say this to hurt you now, but a small part of me hopes that it will make my separation from you a little easier. You will always be the love of my life, and maybe someday we can be together once again, but for now I need to live my life without you. I need to mature and see the world and help others like myself. You are going to go on and do great things in your life my love. You have the potential to be one of the greatest baseball players to ever play the game. I know you can. Just please remain calm and always remember that I am with you in spirit. When everything feels like it is becoming overwhelming, just think of me by your side. Please take care of yourself Alex. I will always love you. Yours forever, Sam."

I dropped the letter to the ground and cried. I couldn't handle it. Her words, letters assembled neatly on a piece of paper. They were heartfelt, but they felt so impersonal. I collapsed onto the floor. I reached under the bed for my stockpile of gifts that I had bought for her. I could no longer see past the tears. My fingers fumbled around the plastic bag until I clutched a similar velvet box. I brought it out into the light and opened it. The tiny diamond sparkled brilliantly before I shut the lid.

"Why Sam? Why?." I choked out the words past my tears.

I wanted to curse at her. I wanted to hate her. I wanted to feel so many things, but all I felt was empty. I needed to know more. I needed to hear it from her. I needed to see her. I grabbed the pocket watch off of the ground and opened it up. Inside was a picture of us at the lake. Through all of the feelings of betrayal, sadness, anger, confusion, and emptiness, when I saw the picture of us I smiled. I couldn't help it. Seeing her made me happy. I thought of our time at the lake and how magical it was. I knew that I should have thought the worse of Sam, but I could only see the best.

I stood up and wiped my eyes. She still loves me, and I still love her. I'm going to marry her one day, but right now I needed to get myself together. In my mind I knew everything was going to be alright. I was going to be with Sam one day, but my heart ached. I needed to lie down. So I did. I gripped the blanket and pulled it over me. Her scent still lingered on the warming fabric.

I could hear Sam's words in my head. Everything was going to be alright.

"I love you Sam."