Trying to Write a StorybyRachele©
Well, I am writing on Literotica instead of blogging it on my Myspace blog, but so I am listening to Demi Lovato on Pandora, and the TV was just turned off as Mom ends up getting ready for sleep. Meanwhile I am still freshly awake since I took a nap during the day while she was watching TV all day like she always does. It bothered me while I tried to write in my journal while she was watching the news. She got two phone calls and I turned off the TV then, while I began writing.
While thinking now about what to write for Literotica, I immediately think of people I know who I used to have fantasies about, but I don’t think I want to start those up again. I want to write things that are more realistic and not just my fantasies, although I bet there will be times when I will think up things that will most likely never happen to me in real life. There are many things that is probably pent up inside of me that is of a more risqué nature, but I can’t seem to notice them right now. I think I have lived in a conservative life for so long, and haven’t watched porn in like forever, that I sort of lost touch with sexuality, although I remember I quit watching porn because sex was sort of stupid to me. I still don’t understand what the big deal is, having tried it and not liking it, or just not able to understand what all the fuss is about. And getting pregnant is something my high school classmates are now doing and I just don’t get why anyone would want to go through that either. Why have children? They ruin everything. They make messes, and my parents are on the verge of divorce still, and love that I had a hint of experiencing turned me crazy.
It is very hot right now. Hold on, let me close the door and windows and put on the air condition. Now, everything is set for me to just write to my heart’s content. I am listening to my Selena Gomez station. I am drinking Walmart’s Mandarin Orange flavored sparkling water. It is so delicious. I am just worried it will get warm soon. But then I have a Strawberry one, my favorite, in the refrigerator when that happens. Am I supposed to write about something sexual?
I think I will have to read my Harlequin books, or to read some Literotica stories, or watch porn to get an idea of something, anything, slightly sexual in my mind, because right now it is pure and innocent, very clean. Not fun, right? I don’t know, I am relieved. Maybe I can end up writing something that is more teasing than blatantly obvious and what someone at my Barnes and Noble writing group said is too…coarse since I mentioned sex too much or too obviously or something. They said there are other ways to talk about sex without saying it. But people were complaining to me that I did not have enough sex in my stories, while then someone was like can’t they read sex in your stories because it is there. And yes it was. I actually had sexual scenes, and since I don’t think the actual sexual act is the important or most fun thing about a sexual relationship, I much rather write about what is important and fun to me in a relationship, which is the chase. Cliché isn’t it? But it is true for me. Once I have somebody interested in me, and after I have found out about them enough to quench my curiosity, the love affair is over for me. I love that Demi Lovato is on Selena’s station, because I like to listen to them both.
My cats are running around the living room where I am sitting on my couch under the lamplight, and I am thinking of watching porn once I am tired of listening to music, and writing what I can before my perspective and mindset gets sexualized, and maybe it will even be inspired and end up making me write things that I wish I wouldn’t once this is found.
But I don’t want to watch porn yet. I feel like writing right now, but I don’t know, I kind of feel like it now. I think I might read a story or end up writing some more. Bye.