Turning Jeff

"Why do you shave?" Jeff asked. He glanced toward his wife, then directed his attention back to the road.

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked.

Jeff glanced over again. They had just exited the tollway and were only a few minutes from their suburban home. Lisa's gaze had not left her phone.

"What do I mean 'why?' or what do I mean 'shave?'" he asked. He kept his eyes fixed forward.

"Everyone shaves their legs, Jeff," Lisa said. "I don't understand."

"Why do you shave your pussy now? You've only ever shaved there on special occasions. Anniversaries, vacations."

Lisa locked her phone and half-turned toward the driver's seat. "How do you know I shave?" she asked.

"Oh I don't know," Jeff said. "How would any man know his wife shaves her pussy bare?"

"You don't have to be so sarcastic," Lisa said. "You know I'm trying."

"I know, I know," he said. "Intercourse is painful. It's common, it's mysterious, whatever."

"Jeff..."

"...and we haven't had sex for months," he interrupted. "Or even fooled around. So why do you shave now?"

Lisa shifted in her seat and faced forward again. "Uh, some things online said it might help, with, you know, irritation. And it just feels nice."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she continued. "It's worth a shot, right?"

"Are you giving me a green light?" Jeff asked. He turned his head slightly and gave her a sly smile.

"Not tonight, love," she said, eyes forward.

They rode in silence until they pulled into the driveway of their 90's ranch revival.

"You didn't answer my question," Lisa said.

"You barely answered mine," Jeff retorted.

"I did, though," Lisa said. "How do you know I shave? We're not ... intimate right now."

"You don't have to remind me," Jeff spat back.

"Don't change the subject," she said. "Are you spying on me?"

Jeff pushed the "stop" button to kill the car engine and put both hands on the wheel. He sighed heavily.

"Jeff," she persisted, "do you have cameras in our bathroom?"

"What? No. Hell no." Jeff turned toward her. "Geez, Lisa."

"Then how?"

"Uh, okay. When you wear my boxers to bed, there are ... you know, gaps."

Lisa blushed in the darkness. "Gaps?" she asked.

"Sure," Jeff continued. "A couple nights ago you had your medicine and went to sleep, but kicked the sheet off. I got a pretty good look."

"While I was asleep. You ogled my pussy while I was asleep."

"Well sure I did." Jeff shifted again. "The boxers were twisted around and ... shit, Lisa, you just looked good, okay?" He sighed again. "I shouldn't have to feel guilty about enjoying the sight of my own wife's body."

"You're right," she said, after a moment's hesitation. "I know it's been hard."

Jeff snorted.

"That's not how I meant it!" she grinned. "Are you fifteen?"

"I wouldn't be this patient if I was fifteen," Jeff said. "Looking is all I get to do, and apparently only when you take your Ambien."

"I don't know how many ways I can say that I'm sorry," Lisa said.

"No, no," he said. "I'm the one who's sorry. I know. But damn you looked good. Bare and ... I'm pretty sure you were a little wet."

"So you just looked?" she asked.

"I know I can't ... I know we can't."

"No, I think I would remember if you'd touched me," she said. "I mean ... did you ... Did you masturbate?"

"'Masturbate'," Jeff said. "So clinical?"

"Okay, jack off then?" She said. "Get off? Rub one out?"

"I think you would have noticed the mess," he said.

"You did!" Lisa exclaimed.

"I didn't," Jeff said. "I mean, I didn't finish, anyway. You looked ... You look really hot in my underwear. I still think about it."

"Next time you should finish."

"Seriously?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah. Go ahead," Lisa said. "I know you have needs. If it helps to cum on me while I'm sleeping then have at it."

"I'm not going to cum on you while you're passed out on Ambien."

"Why not?" she asked. "It'd be hot to wake up with dried jizz I can't remember all over my ass."

"You're fucking with me."

"No shit, Sherlock," she said. Lisa opened the passenger door and got out of the car.

Jeff rested his head on the steering wheel for a few minutes, then got out and followed his wife inside.

"Hey, Jeff, how's it going?" asked Bill.

"Shitty, Bill," Jeff said. "But you seem like you know that already." Jeff slid into the Denny's booth and wrapped his hands around an empty iconic brown Denny's cup.

"Yeah, man, I wish I had better news," Bill said.

"Is it that douchebag from her office?"

"Trent. Yeah. Who's named 'Trent' anyway?"

"Is there a chance that..." Jeff started. "I mean, it can't be some ridiculous misunderstanding, right? That just looks bad?"

"It's not a misunderstanding, pal," Bill said. He sipped his coffee and waved to the waitress. "My friend needs a cup, Doll."

"So you 'know' know?" Jeff asked. "Incontrovertible. Bullet-proof."

"I 'know' know, alright?"

"I want to see it," Jeff said.

The waitress appeared and filled Jeff's cup.

"Anything else, darlin'?" she asked with a twang.

"No. Thanks," Jeff said.

"Maybe a slice of that lemon pie, Mary?" Bill said.

"You bet, sugar." The waitress, Mary, sidled off toward the kitchen, grinning.

"I want to see it," Jeff repeated.

"You really don't," Bill said.

"Show me."

"Trust me, pal. I've been doing this a long, long time. Nothing good will come from you watching that."

"I paid you for it," Jeff said. "Show me."

"I'll sign the affidavit. I'll let her shylock depose me. That's what I do. What you need to do is think about the next part of your life, and that's going to be real damn hard if you don't listen to me closely. Take my word. Let it go. Leave the shitty stuff to me. That's what you're paying me for."

"Show me," Jeff said again. "I know you have it."

"Jeff..."

"Show me, God damn it."

"All right, pal. All right." Bill took his phone from his pocket and tapped it a few times. "I ain't your fucking shrink." He pushed the phone across the table.

A shaky green video was playing on Bill's phone. A man's glowing white-green ass was thrusting rhythmically behind a woman's shape on her knees and elbows on a bed. The bare built-in nightstand and floral blackout curtains in the background screamed "cheap motel." The woman spread her knees farther apart and clutched the bedspread. The man put one hand on her back and pushed, forcing her upper body down onto the mattress. She complied, stretching her hands toward the headboard and arching her back. The man slapped her once, hard, on the ass. She tossed her head back to clear the hair from her eyes and finally, finally, turned her head toward the concealed camera. It was clearly Lisa, and she was clearly in ecstasy.

"Here you go, darlin'," Mary said, sliding a plate with a slice of shiny yellow and white pie toward Bill. "You sure you don't want... Oh!" she said, and flushed.

"My friend is just working on something right now," Bill said. "He's okay."

"Y'all are fucked up," Mary said with a sneer. She turned and left.

"Jeff, seriously," Bill said.

"Fuck off," Jeff said.

Lisa was reaching back to hold the man's ass now, turning her body so that her tits were in plain sight. They bounced and swayed as she pulled him farther into her with every thrust. She soon pancaked onto the mattress again and put her hand underneath her. Jeff knew she was reaching for his balls, the way she always used to do to Jeff when she wanted him to cum inside her from behind. The man in the video looked up to the ceiling, holding her hips and pulling her back as he slammed into her over, and over.

Suddenly he hunched over and pulled out. She collapsed onto the mattress and slapped her hand against it a couple of times. His shoulders shook rhythmically and Jeff could tell he was laughing. Lisa flipped over and, while flipping the man the bird with one hand, reached toward the nightstand with her other hand. She grabbed some small object and flung it at the man's chest as he waited, standing on his knees. He brought it to his mouth and jerked it open, then reached down and rolled the condom onto his cock.

"So she's not too worried about STD's..." Bill started.

"She's not on birth control," Jeff said.

"Yeah," Bill said. "I figured."

"It's good she's being careful."

"I guess so," Bill said. "The only thing that could make this worse, right?"

The grainy green couple on the phone screen wriggled their crotches back toward one another, face-to-face now. Jeff could see Lisa's expression melt into pure pleasure as the man reentered her, still up on his knees, holding her knees back, bending her nearly double. She fiddled with her clit with one hand while the other clawed at the man's chest. He grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the mattress, leaning down over her. Lisa abandoned her clit with her only free hand and beat her fist on his chest. The man flung that arm away too and pinned it as well, never stopping his thrusts. Lisa's face was a rictus of pure lust. Jeff could see her mouthing "fuck me, fuck me" over and over. The man released one arm and slapped her face, hard. Lisa's back arched immediately and she clawed out for his chest again, lost in what was obviously a hugely powerful orgasm. She bucked and clawed, head back, mouth open. A bright stain appeared on the bed where they coupled, lightened in the infrared sensitivity of the camera, as she squirted her ecstasy on her lover and the sheets.

The man jerked away, ripped the condom off, and shot three, bright green-white ropes of cum across Lisa's chest and abdomen. On her tits, on her clawing arm, her heat-white pussy. One glob even reached her neck as she writhed and reached for her pussy to extend her orgasm. Finally spent, she collapsed into a limp rag doll. He rolled and fell onto his back beside her. They both lay there, panting, the hot white of her piss and his cum fading slowly to cool dark green splotches to the hidden camera's eye. The screen went dark.

"Shit," Jeff said. "When you're right, you're right."

"You did pay for it, pal. I hope it was worth it."

"Yeah," Jeff said, handing the phone back. "Send that to me."

"Look, man..."

"Just send it," Jeff smiled. "It's okay. I'm okay. And I might need it."

"Heading out again?" Jeff asked from the couch.

"Yeah," Lisa said. Her four inch heels clicked on the quarry tile as she crossed the foyer to the dining room to retrieve her purse. "Marjorie has that lipstick party tonight."

"I thought that was last week," Jeff said more loudly so his voice would carry through the two doorways.

"That was Karen's," Lisa yelled. "I have to support them both, don't I? Everyone goes to both."

Jeff closed the lid of his laptop. "That's a lot of lipstick. Do all of you show your support with tight skirts?" he called.

Lisa didn't answer. After a few moments her heels clicked back across the foyer and she stood in the living room doorway, a quizzical expression on her face. Her auburn hair was curled and swept to the side. Her floral silk blouse was open three buttons, showing a glimpse of her plunge bra and giving a clear view of her full cleavage. Her thin pencil skirt left nothing to the imagination, as it was tight enough to reveal even the bulge of her mound. If she was wearing underwear at all, it was hemless and thin.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, a thin grin on her face. She cocked her hips and put one hand on her waist.

"You just look like you're dressed for men, not the neighborhood gaggle at a sales and wine party. Or are they all lesbians?"

"And if they were?" Lisa asked. She took a step toward the couch. The hand that was on her hip strayed to brush across her mons. "Maybe I'd bring one home for us."

"Don't tease me," Jeff said. "It's not nice at all. And stop trying to distract me - it's working by the way."

"I'm sorry. I know it's mean." She straightened. "It's not that I don't want you. You know that."

"Sure. So you're dressed for the singles' bar to show me how much you want me as you leave for the night?"

"Jeff, what's wrong?" she asked. "Is there something you need to say?"

"No, I'm just frustrated. And I'm tired of jacking off to this shit," he waved at his laptop "while your off-limits perfect ass is right next to me every night."

"We'll try again soon. I promise."

"Just hurts too much." Jeff's eyes narrowed as he regarded her.

"Yes?" she said, hesitating. "How many times do we have to..."

"Even from behind? With your ass in the air and your tits on the mattress? Even when I hold your knees back and you play with your clit? Does it still hurt then?"

After the slightest hesitation, Lisa said "yes, Jeff. It hurts. I'm sorry."

"Okay," Jeff said.

"Look..." she started again.

"I still love you. I still need you," Jeff interrupted.

"I know," Lisa said. "I know."

They were silent for a few breaths.

"Look, I better," Lisa said, and cocked her thumb toward the door.

"Yeah, have fun with the lesbians," Jeff said.

"Hey, don't ... don't visit Pornhub tonight," Lisa said. "I won't be late, and there's nothing wrong with my mouth." The corners of her lips twisted up slightly and her eyes twinkled.

"I'll save it all for you," Jeff said.

Jeff lay awake in bed, browsing /r/nsfw on his phone. It was a little after 1AM when he heard the door from the kitchen to the garage open, then softly click shut. He heard two clicks of heels on tile, then a pause, then creaks on the stairs as Lisa climbed them barefoot. He locked his phone and lay in the dark, slitting his eyes just enough to see the bedroom door and path from Lisa's side of the bed to the bedroom. He concentrated on making sure that his breathing was regular and deep.

In a few more seconds, Lisa came into the bedroom carrying her heels in one hand. She paused in the doorway, blinking her eyes, adjusting to the darkness. She swayed slightly as she stood, then reached out for the doorframe to steady herself. After a few seconds she let go and started for the bathroom. Her gait was unsteady and halting.

Jeff snorted and inhaled deeply, then sighed and pretended to scratch himself in his sleep. He turned his head slightly and continued feigning sleep.

Lisa continued her stagger into the bathroom and quietly latched the door. Jeff heard the shower start and picked his phone back up.

Several minutes passed, then Jeff quickly put his phone back down when the shower turned off. Lisa soon exited the bathroom, a little more steady on her feet. She was dressed in a thin camisole and didn't appear to have on underwear, though without any pubic hair it was hard for Jeff to tell in the darkness.

She stopped at the nightstand, out of Jeff's field of view. A pill bottle rattled as she withdrew her nightly sleep aid. She crawled into the bed and rolled onto her side, away from Jeff. Jeff caught a stale whiff of vodka and garlic as she adjusted the covers.

Jeff lay silent. After a few minutes he reached down and slowly began massaging himself toward an erection. He waited.

It wasn't very long before he heard Lisa's light snores. Jeff silently swung his legs out of bed, shrugged on his robe, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

He put a pot of water on the stove and turned the flame to maximum. He went to the freezer and fished around for a moment, withdrawing a short wide-mouth plastic cup with a screw lid. He took a baking thermometer and a basting syringe from a drawer, put the thermometer in the pot and laid the syringe on a paper towel.

When the thermometer showed 95 degrees he carefully lowered the frozen semen into the water, reduced the flame, and opened a beer he took from the fridge.

He drank the beer slowly, watching the temperature carefully. He sterilized the thermometer and the syringe with alcohol and rinsed both in hot water. After checking that the semen was thawed and over 90 degrees, he depressed the bulb and drew it into the syringe. Without taking the time to clean up, he put the syringe between his thigh and scrotum to keep it warm and headed upstairs.

Lisa had rolled into her back and her snores were more glottal. One leg was outside the comforter, but only from the knee down. Jeff approached here side of the bed and tentatively brushed her knee with the outside of his hand, watching her face closely. He stroked her calf lightly, and she stopped snoring and licked her lips. Her breathing stayed regular..

Jeff eased the comforter back, folding it up and over her other leg and past her midriff. Her legs were spread wide, and she was wearing flesh-colored panties after all. Jeff considered for a moment, then went to the bathroom and retrieved his beard scissors.

He lifted her panties away from her skin and snipped them at each leg. He grabbed the middle part covering her bare mound and pulled the now useless swatch of fabric free from underneath her. Lisa's breath caught and she grunted lightly. Her eyes stayed shut..

Even after a shower her musk was heavy in the air. Her exposed inner labia were swollen and moist, betraying her evening's activities. Jeff's mouth opened as he exhaled slowly, admiring his wife's perfect cunt. His cock twitched and his testicles rose and fell as his manhood came to life. He reached out and lightly stroked her shaved mound with his fingertips, first down, then up against the grain. She was perfectly smooth, no stubble at all.

Lisa let out a light, long moan and Jeff froze. She shifted her hips so that her mound was thrust higher toward his hand and her open lips were even more exposed.

"Mmmhh, not again baby," Lisa said. Jeff jerked his hand away and looked up at her face. Lisa's eyes were still shut but her lips were parted. "I think I'm too sleepy to go again." She took a long, deep breath and her hips sank back down into the mattress.

He reached back down and resumed his light stroking. His heart was hammering inside his chest. His cock was standing straight out from his open robe. He stroked a few more times then let his thumb graze against her moist lips.

"Nnnnhh," Lisa moaned again. She thrust her hips again but this time he didn't move his hand but let her mash herself into his palm. "Okay," she said dreamily, "one more sleepy fuck."

Jeff turned his hand and began to probe her lips with his middle finger, separating them and spreading her moisture between them. He found her clit with his thumb again and started small circles. After a minute of this Lisa's exhales became small sighs, almost plaintive. She began to thrust her hips in rhythm with his strokes. Jeff checked one more time to make sure her eyes were still closed.

Jeff withdrew his thumb and shifted his angle. He parted her lips with his ring and middle finger and pushed, first to the first knuckle then the second, then as Lisa thrust her hips upward again, as deep as he could. He curled his fingers upward to find her g-spot and began to massage it.

Lisa began long, open-mouthed moans. Her right hand snaked out and she resumed the small circles around her clit that his thumb had abandoned. Jeff dug harder at her g-spot until he could tell she was close to orgasm. With his fee hand he retrieved the basting syringe from his robe pocket. He warmed it in his fist for a few seconds then lifted up with the fingers inside her to open her pussy fully. He pressed the tapered cylinder until it entered her past his curled fingers. She gasped at the added pressure and moved faster on her clit. He was careful to keep his hand between hers and the syringe as he slid the Pyrex tube in until he felt the gentle resistance of her cervix. Lisa jerked and let out a grunt, then continued to tense and relax rhythmically as her orgasm blossomed.

With one motion he squeezed the bulb and ejected the warm semen into her as he withdrew the syringe. He waited for her spasms to fade before he withdrew his fingers. Her hand remained at her crotch as she stroked out the last remnants of her orgasm.