TV Temp: Emma Stone

November 2011

The high I had from my time with Alison Brie didn't last as long as I wanted. Real life got a little harder after my freelance website no longer had stories picked up by Google News, and I got dropped from their news program when they did get taken back. I bounced back by writing about sports, yet my monthly pay did take a hit; which did make me more urgent to get my other projects done.

So by the time November came along and the temp agency finally called again, I was more eager for a break than usual. And few places are as good for a vacation as New York.

For the first time, I had been invited to temp on a show for the second time. "Saturday Night Live" wanted me back, as my past experience at Studio 8H made me more attractive than newer candidates. That did sound a bit unfair to those newer candidates; but not enough for me to turn the gig down. Especially since another lovely young movie star was hosting on my designated week.

On November 12, Emma Stone would be appearing on the "SNL" stage for the second time, just as I was appearing backstage for the second time. But her return was more highly anticipated, after she broke into the A-list with "Easy A" last fall, "Crazy Stupid Love" and "The Help" this summer and had "The Amazing Spider-Man" ahead for next summer.

When she first hosted last fall, the main joke in the monologue was how nerds wanted to make out with her, like they often did in her movies. I understood the sentiment; and not just because I seemed to have a thing for celebrity redheads.

This one was younger and yet still just as stunning, with the aforementioned red hair, striking green eyes, an equally striking sharp tongue and quick wit, and a husky voice that would likely be even more arousing in....intimate settings. All of that made her an easy target for Lindsay Lohan comparisons, but thankfully Emma looked too smart and level headed to end up exactly like her.

For all her recent success, she often said that hosting "SNL" last year was the highlight of it all, so she would undoubtedly be excited to return; like myself to a lesser degree. At the least, she was bound to be in a great mood....no matter what that entailed. But I was feeling good too, since I was returning to 30 Rock and I was better equipped to handle the "SNL" schedule this time.

I also brought something else with me on Monday, as it hit me how I could break the ice with Emma. I waited until I knew she was alone in the guest room; which brought back a few vivid memories with Anne for a moment. But I pushed that aside and knocked on what was now Emma's door.

Once she let me in, I introduced myself and only savored her looking at me and smiling for a half-second. I had my backpack in hand, which contained all the things that would keep me busy on long nights while I wasn't working. It also contained a little something for Emma as well.

"I know that yesterday was your birthday....so I wanted to wish a belated happy birthday and a welcome back to 'SNL' too," I explained as I handed Emma a birthday card I bought yesterday. My family always loved how I picked out the funniest birthday cards, and since Emma's 23'rd birthday was actually yesterday, I thought this would be a good skill to show off.

Judging by Emma's laughter after she read my card, it seemed that it was a good show. I covered my bases by asking "So I wasn't being out of line or creepy, then?"

"No, no. Unless funny's the new creepy," Emma reassured.

"It can be, but I didn't want it to be here. If I was creepy, I'd have gotten a 'Pocket Full Of Sunshine' card like in 'Easy A' for you. And that was actually available!" I said truthfully.

"Well, then thank you for being funny and original instead of creepy," Emma smiled and then actually kissed me on the cheek. This was the quickest that any actress had ever kissed me before, yet I knew it was way too soon to press my luck on that. So I just acted a bit bashful while keeping the actual conversation forward.

"Well, like I said, I just wanted to help welcome you back here. I know how much you loved it here last year, so there's a lot to live up to. I get it, since it's my second time here too....in a way."

"If it was still my birthday, I could order you to go on for me. But it's not, so I'll just ask nicely," Emma pointed out.

"I actually temped here last year, not long after your episode. I did Anne Hathaway's week, actually," I said while ignoring how I could twist those words into something dirtier. "And I temped here for '30 Rock' in November 2008 too....the pre-election part of it."

"Whoh, you have more experience here than me. How come they just bring you here every November instead of hiring you full time?" Emma asked.

"I'd like to know that myself sometimes. But gigs like this are a break from problems like that, so I treat them as such. I'm too much of a TV and SNL nerd not to," I explained.

"Say no more, I get how nerds tick," Emma pointed out.

"Well, I'll be sure not to tick the wrong way. I don't have any more to spare for cards, I won't ask you to make out with me, and I don't need any Spider-Man spoilers right now. So....I thank you for your time." I did take a risk by actually saying I wouldn't make out with her, But since this was a comedy bit, maybe she wouldn't take that so seriously if something came up later.

"I did have a good birthday. And this is going to be another great week here. And you did help get it off on the right foot, so thank you for your time too," Emma exclaimed. "You can go ahead and bug me with nerd ticks later....but I really can't give you anything on Spider-Man, sorry."

"Okay....I'll consider bugging you anyway," I offered, making us both chuckled as I exited the room. But after closing the door most of the way, I left it open a little bit to peek and see Emma standing the card up on her dresser. Satisfied that this meant she really was flattered and that I had broken the ice, I shut the door completely.

Me and Emma didn't hang out as much as me and Anne did before our week here, but we did find a few occasions to talk during down periods. I particularly took note in her denial that she and new Spider-Man Andrew Garfield were dating, even though he was slated to make a cameo in the show. According to her they were friends, but Sony and Marvel advised them to have no comment about a relationship status, to keep rumors alive as the movie got closer.

In a way that made sense, since they couldn't just rely on Spider-Man to sell a reboot of a origin story from 10 years ago. I held my tongue on that in front of Emma, although a joke along those lines would actually be in the monologue. In any case, if Emma was telling the truth, it eliminated one possible obstacle for later.

However, me and Emma didn't get to be alone in a room on Saturday afternoon, unlike me and Anne. There were a few moments to talk, but they were in public while everyone scrambled to put together the show. So with that window of opportunity gone, I had to resign myself to having my streak broken; which was what I got for actually thinking ahead to doing it this time.

I shook that off eventually and did focus in time to see Emma do the show. After it was over, she and the cast would head to the after party, I would help tidy up the studio, I'd show up tomorrow for a final review and she'd probably be off. You can't win them all; or at least perhaps you can't win 10 in a row.

Once Emma and the cast left the stage and the audience started clearing out, I made my way out of Studio 8H to wait for my post-show assignments. So I saw nothing out of the ordinary when one of my female supervisors came to meet me.

"Good, I found you," she stated, as I just nodded in wait for my task. "Now I can tell you that you've been invited to the after party at the Heartland Brewery."

Now all I could do was drop my jaw in confusion before I stammered "Oh, um....how is that, exactly?"

"I suppose you could ask Ms. Stone about it when you get there," she pointed out before leaving. It seemed like I would have to do just that.

When I got to the Heartland Brewery at Times Square, I said I was part of the 'SNL' group and they actually told me where to find them. So since it had been established that I hadn't been pranked; at least not yet; I went over to the private room where the gang was supposed to be. And they were indeed there, with Emma quickly catching my eye in a white blouse and pink skirt. She noticed me too and helpfully went over to meet me.

"Hey, you got the message!" Emma exclaimed, which didn't instantly clear up everything. "Did you actually get me invited here?" I inquired to get the ball rolling.

"I may have made a recommendation. After all the times you've worked in that studio, it's probably old hat for you by now. I figured this would help this week stand out." There were other ways in which the other weeks had stood out even more, but I wasn't going to bring that up; not yet. But this was almost as much of a shock.

"You really didn't have to....didn't it look weird that you got a temp invited? And won't this make the regular workers a little jealous?" I nitpicked.

"Then it's a good thing you're getting out of here tomorrow. They'll forget when you come back next year anyway. Besides, your birthday's in a month and I didn't have time to get you a card," Emma teased. "Come on, you did your part to help these guys this week. The least they can do is hear about your articles and book ideas, right?"

I had no more room to argue with her, so I settled for trying to thank her. But instead I just said "I really don't know how to thank you.....

"Hey, this SNL nerd had her dream come true twice," she said as she pointed to herself. "So now let's go cross a few more things off your SNL bucket list."

I had already done tasks and projects for everyone I could at SNL twice. But hanging out with them at an after party allowed me to actually speak to them and geek out in a non-work context. I rarely got to do that with actors or with actresses I didn't eventually have sex with, so this was new for me. I even got to meet some non "SNL" celebrities that showed up, including Emma's friend Andrew Garfield. I did my best to stay level headed and try to subtly plug my work, and I talked with Emma when that became too much.

I was still there at about 2:30 a.m., yet I didn't feel tired at all. The party itself was winding down and some guests and cast members had left, but me and Emma were among those still there.

"Wow....I had a night like this all because I got you a birthday card. I knew I was good at that, but not like this," I said when we were sitting at a pub.

"It wasn't the only reason. It was the first one, but it snowballed from there. You made a real good follow up impression on me....that's probably how I figured out about your name." This could go a number of ways, but they were too vast for me to figure out which way it could go.

"Somehow, I kept thinking about a story Mila Kunis told me at the 'Friends With Benefits' premiere." Well, that narrowed it down. Since Emma made a cameo in Mila and Justin Timberlake's summer sex romp; which seemed tamer after seeing all of Mila's nudity months earlier; it made sense that they might talk. Perhaps some troubling sense.

"She told me about this wild time she had with a guy before the Golden Globes....and she had a lot of praise for him. She told me his name and that he temped for a lot of shows. But after a few days with you, learning your name and your temp history, that name started to sound more familiar. I figured it out on Friday when I looked over your resume. It pretty much matches up with the shows Mila said that guy worked on. My memory's usually not that good, but it has its moments."

Perhaps my time and words with Alison taught me not to freak out if someone found out my past work. Perhaps being in a public place this time was an added help. Either way, I didn't try to deny it and make myself sink into a worse hole like I thought I did last time. But I was reluctant to look at Emma as I talked, nonetheless.

"First of all, I didn't give you a birthday card to hit on you. I wasn't friendly with you to trick you into getting me in here or into bed. And I didn't trick Mila either, if you're going to go that way. I know driving her around town and going into a hotel with her sounds underhanded in the wrong context."

"So it never crossed your mind until it happened?" Emma asked.

"Of course it crossed my mind, I mean, it's Mila Kunis!" I made sure to whisper now. "I did not act on it until she wanted me to, and I never pushed or tricked her into it. I've never done that and I never will. If you think I could....or that talking to you was a setup or pickup line..."

"Of course I don't!" Emma said as she was whispering now. "From what she told me and from what I've seen this week, of course I don't think that! Hell, I almost didn't tell you this because I thought you'd think I was picking you up!"

"And....you're not?" I asked, feeling some disappointment in where this was going.

"Well....not entirely. I didn't invite you here to fuck you, I just wanted you to have fun here. If something else happened....I wouldn't have passed it up."

This helped me reassess my words in several ways. "Well....I shouldn't complain, since I was thinking the same thing. But it does sound like you understand why I didn't want to be seen the wrong way. I'm learning to be less sensitive about that, but I still like it better when women want to....do that stuff with me because of me, and not just because of....other stuff about me."

"I guess if anyone can understand that, it's a movie star," Emma conceded. "I really didn't put it together until yesterday. I already liked you by then, so that's got to count."

"It does help the score....or something like that, I can't make all these metaphors work." This helped lighten the mood with a shared laugh. "So....what do we do with that, then? If there's anything to be done, it can't happen here."

"Then tell me where you're staying," Emma offered. "I'll tell them I'm tired and I have to go, then you can leave about 10 minutes later. When you get back to your hotel, I'll be outside your room and no one will suspect anything. If anything happens after you get in, we'll take it as it comes. I mean, happens!" She stumbled. "I really didn't mean to make that kind of pun, I swear!" Emma insisted as she bit back another laugh.

"Not yet, anyway?" I asked, now feeling more at ease since her plan could work. Emma got the hint, smiled knowingly, and got up to lead us back to the private room. There, she told the "SNL" crew she was heading out, said her goodbyes for now and finished by giving me a goodbye hug too. At that point, I whispered my hotel name and my room number, and she didn't react a bit as she broke off and headed away.

I hung around for about 10 more minutes before saying my goodbyes and thank you's, then left to take a cab back to my hotel. It was a longer ride there than it really was, as I reflected on what happened, what we had agreed upon, and how a lot of it seemed like a less dramatic rerun of past encounters. But given how all these situations ended with me having sex with an actress, the whole series felt like a rerun at this point.

It just gave me more motivation to think of new techniques I could use to make it new, even if Emma wouldn't know the difference. There was only so much I hadn't tried, yet once I got to the hotel, I figured I'd have to wing it.

I nonchalantly went past the lobby to the elevators; although if they didn't blink at seeing Emma there minutes ago, they wouldn't notice me. In any case, I got to the elevators and arrived at my floor with no trouble. As I went down the halls, I soon enough saw Emma waiting outside my door. She smiled as I got there, took out my room key and swiped it to let myself in.

I held the door for her to come in, then closed the door behind us and put away my room key. Here was where we would see what happened; and as usual in these matters, a make out session won out.

I immediately placed my hand on the back of her head, both to deepen the kisses and start the first of many sessions of playing with her red hair. I almost felt relieved that this was happening after she stopped letting her hair go blond for Spider-Man. Of course blond was her natural color, yet red was too distinctive and ravishing not to stick for her.

Eventually I moved my hand over to her face to start tracing some of her freckles, but we soon finally had to take a breath. "Okay....you can make out with me," Emma commented after we got our breath back. Some of it was wasted again by laughing, yet we got it back before I got her to the bed.

I sat down on the side of my bed and had Emma stand in front of me as I helped her remove her blouse. She had on a purple bra that safely contained her chest; which was admittedly the smallest out of all the actresses I had been with. While her breasts weren't C or D cups or even a high B, it hardly canceled out the rest of her fabulous body and sexy face. And since her boobs were among her least discussed features, it gave me an idea to start things off.

After unhooking her bra, I wrapped my arms around Emma's waist and immediately got to work kissing her perky nipples. While I didn't have as much of an ample chest to suck on as usual, I would kiss and play with whatever I could get. I figured it would be a chance of pace for Emma that would make her feet extra good, and her moans served as a good indication. And as I expected, hearing her smoky voice getting aroused and excited could have made me burst then and there.

But I stayed focus and alternated between her left and right breast while my arms moved lower. This helped me feel Emma's impressive curves and hips, which lead to an even more impressive, rounded bottom. I copped a feel of her peach-shaped ass before pulling down the zipper of the skirt that covered it.

Once I got her skirt down, I started cupping her still panty-covered ass with both hands as I sucked deeper on her left nipple and then her right. Finally I broke away to tease the undersides of her breasts with my tongue, while I skimmed my fingers over the top of her panties without dipping under.

"Fuck, Mila didn't do you justice," Emma rasped out. "I'm also noticing that you're a bit overdressed now." With that hint, I broke away from her chest and let go of her ass to start removing my clothing. After getting my shirt off, I pointed to my chest and quipped "Don't worry, this isn't Photoshopped," in reference to Emma's joke about Ryan Gosling's impossibly buff abs in "Crazy Stupid Love"

Emma just lightly laughed and placed her hand down my chest, seeming to approve anyway. It did strike me that although I hardly had Gosling's sculpted body, she still liked mine over that of Gosling's or Garfield's, at least in this moment. I was not above needing an ego boost now and then, especially lately, and this was one I was really starting to appreciate.

I hopped my entire body onto the bed and sat in front of it, leaning back on the wall as I started getting my pants off. Emma got the idea and put herself onto the bed as well, helping to get my pants all the way down. When I was left in my underwear, Emma laid on her stomach in front of me and placed her upper body between my legs; with her head right between them.

She took it onto herself to get my underwear down, leaving my cock free and standing at attention. Emma took a hold of the bottom of my shaft and placed her tongue at my head, licking it all around slowly. Her tongue then licked down to my shaft and back up, then glided through every inch of my dick that was in range.

Soon she had licked my entire erection, but she didn't stop there as she then dabbed her tongue on my ball sack. From there, she licked all the way back up my shaft before reaching my head and letting her lips engulf it. She suckled the head and only occasionally put her tongue back on it, as she looked up at me while her green eyes took on a sultry tint.