Two Little Girls

~

It was only when she was on her way home that she wondered about Anya's use of the words "for today". Would there be more another day? Did Anya feel the way about Adrienne as she felt about her? Adrienne didn't think she was a lesbian—not really. She had a thing for Aaron, right? At the most, she thought she might be bisexual, but probably only bi-curious. It had less to do with liking women, and more to do with adoring Anya. She loved everything about her; it only made sense to feel affection for her in every way. She was her best friend, and the sister she never had. Of course she wanted to kiss her. She loved her. That love didn't mean she was gay—it didn't mean anything.

As Adrienne pulled into her driveway she felt her cell vibrating against her leg, followed by the familiar chiming sound that meant she had a text message. She flipped her phone open, and was surprised to see that the message was from Anya. She didn't know why she was surprised. She and Anya texted each other all day every day for any and no reason at all. It's just that everything was so intense right now and she had expected that Anya would need some time to think before talking to Adrienne again. An alarming thought entered Adrienne's mind. What if Anya was texting to tell her she was upset with what had happened and that she didn't want to be friends anymore? The thought made Adrienne's throat constrict as she forced herself to click down and read the message. Her relief was almost crushing when she read what her friend had to say:

you didn't actually wash my hair. you owe me one hot shower.

She couldn't deny that she was hugely relieved, but Adrienne was also scared. Anya wanted to have a hot shower with her. What did this mean? She'd loved kissing her and wanted to do it a lot more, not to mention other things, but doubts about her sexuality were starting to cloud her mind again. Images of her and Anya living together and conceiving their children via turkey basters filled her head. She thought of what her parents would do if she came out of the closet, and wondered if she'd have to shave her head and wear t-shirts proudly proclaiming "I Kiss Girls." Adrienne, calm yourself. She was not going to panic like this. As established on the ride home, she was merely a bi-curious girl with a deep affection for her best friend and out of control hormones. She liked boys. There would be no coming out of the closet, and no turkey basters. She texted Anya back:

when and where?

Two days later, when parents were still at work but teenagers were home from school, Adrienne and Anya took their experimenting from "fluke" status to something more. They kissed for a long time, undressing each other slowly, timidly, and then made their way into the shower with their underwear still on. Anya's panties and bra were white, and the pulse of the shower made them see-through in a matter of seconds. Adrienne's wet, lace undergarments clung to her skin as she poured shampoo into her palm and leisurely worked it into the other girl's thick, red hair. Anya's back was to her, and she was turned on by the sight of her neck, glistening under the spray with a few stray auburn curls escaping at her nape. She kissed them, starting at the base of Anya's neckline then moving towards her collar bone. Her fingers traced patterns absently above the boundary of her panties, over the dimples that lived where her back met her ass. Anya moaned, and turned to face Adrienne, a look of painful desire in her eyes. "I'm not a lesbian," she said, then devoured the other girl's aching lips before she had a chance to respond.

"I'm not," she said again, kissing Adrienne's ear, moving her hands to her breasts and running a finger lightly over her nipple.

"Me neither," Adrienne replied urgently, trying to convince herself that it was true as she unhooked the garment around Anya's chest and watched it fall to the ground before pulling down the barrier to place that Adrienne wanted to touch the most. She pushed Anya gently up against the wall, and kissing her ravenously, plunged a finger into her slit. Anya gasped, almost winded by ecstasy she experienced, and in one hazy motion, managed to rip any remaining clothing from Adrienne's body. Anya pushed up against her as Adrienne slid another finger in, and then another, her screams muffled by Adrienne's breast in her mouth.

"God, you're yummy," Anya squealed into her friend's tits, biting her nipple and making Adrienne moan in a way Anya had only seen in porn. She wanted to taste her everywhere, and forcing herself to pull away from the buzz of Adrienne's fingers inside her, dropped to her knees, pulled Adrienne's legs towards her, and rubbed her clit with her tongue. Adrienne's entire body arched and she thought she would black out. She angled her pelvis towards Anya's face and wrapped her legs around her body, causing Anya to make more of the purring noises that turned Adrienne on so much. The next thing Adrienne knew she was splayed on the floor and Anya was on top of her. They grinded their mounds into each other and kissed passionately, their breasts pressed together, their hands everywhere. When they came it was almost simultaneous, Anya's moans setting Adrienne off, their screams echoing through the empty house.

~

By the time the parents were home, they were dry, dressed and laying innocently on the couch. Adrienne's mother brought home take-out, and they sat and talked about school and work. The girls were starving, as people usually are after intense sexual activity. Adrienne loved the feeling of finally having a secret. She didn't know whether or not she was still a virgin, but after today she was definitely less of one. Anya kept sneaking her sly looks, as though trying to turn her on with her mere gaze. It worked. Adrienne squirmed in her seat as the space between her legs moistened. She knew there was no way her mother would ever guess what had happened, but she still worried just a little bit.

~

Adrienne and Anya "played", as they liked to call it, a lot over the next few weeks. They would go to each other's houses, wait until their parents were asleep and play all night, using pillows to stifle the carnal sounds that poured from their throats. Sometimes they would kiss for hours, and other times they went at it like animals. They liked trying out the effects different variables had on their play. For instance, was there a difference between playing early in the morning versus late at night? How was playing on the hardwood of Adrienne's bedroom different than when they did it on the carpet of Anya's? Was it better if they were drunk? High? Could they get each other off when both were still fully dressed? How difficult was it to orgasm without making a single sound? They "experimented" and "played", but they never made love and they never had sex. That would mean something neither of them was ready to deal with. They often reminded each other that friction was friction, and rationalized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with two friends as close are they making each other feel good.

Things were relatively uncomplicated until prom. Adrienne and Anya decided they'd go together since neither of them had dates. Lots of girls went together, as friends or in groups and no one would think it was weird. The complication came from the phrase "since neither of them had dates." Anya took this to mean that when John Johnson asked her to go, she could say yes, since she and Adrienne were only going together "since neither of them had dates." Adrienne, on the other hand, was pissed. She'd been asked out by a guy in their class, and had turned him down out of solidarity to Anya, a fact that she kept secret from her until the following scene in the school parking lot:

"What the hell do you mean you're going to prom with John? You're going to prom with me!" Adrienne was fuming as she slammed her bag into the back seat of her car.

"Adrienne . . . I didn't think you'd be upset. I thought we only agreed to go together because neither of us had dates. I didn't think it was a binding contract. You can come along with John and me, if you want."

"That's great. A threesome sounds perfect." She hated the fact that Anya was making it seem like she was doing her a huge favour.

"What?" Anya's face paled. "Adrienne, don't say stuff like that." She looked around anxiously, and Adrienne knew she was afraid that someone would overhear the word "threesome" and immediately deduce what Adrienne and Anya's extracurricular activities consisted of as of late.

Adrienne rolled her eyes. "Could you be any more paranoid?"

"I am not paranoid," Anya whispered tensely. "And lower your voice. Do you want everyone to hear?"

"Anya, no one else in this school knows we exist." Adrienne's voice betrayed just a hint of bitterness.

"John Johnson knows I exist. Don't be threatened just because I'm going out with a boy."

Before Adrienne knew what she was doing, her hand made contact with Anya's perfect cheek. Anya retaliated by pushing her.

"Listen, bitch," Adrienne spat, catching her balance. "I got asked to the prom weeks ago by Craig from Spanish, and I turned him down because I promised I'd go with you! You are not the only one boys pay attention to! I just thought it was more important to keep my word to my best friend than go on a date with some guy!" She threw herself into the drivers' seat and put the key in the ignition, but didn't speed away before Anya had a chance to yell, "I'm not your fucking girlfriend, Adrienne! I like boys, you dyke!"

~

Adrienne was furious. She felt betrayed and angry, and secretly wondered if Anya's words had a ring of truth. Did Adrienne think of Anya as her girlfriend? Had Anya thought they'd just been playing, when this whole time Adrienne had been falling in love? It was complicated. She loved Anya ferociously, but having never been in love before had no way of telling if the love she felt for Anya was purely friendship or if it was something more. To make things worse, the senior prom was the most important night of her life to date, and she had no one to go with. She'd heard that Craig from Spanish was now taking Sara Green, and she kicked herself for not accepting his invitation when he offered it. The truth, though, was that Adrienne didn't really want to go to prom with Craig. He was cute enough and nice enough, but they were acquaintances, not friends. He didn't make her skin all tingly, and when she thought about kissing him it didn't turn her on. She had wanted to go with Anya because she knew they'd have fun, and if prom was supposed to be a celebration of their life at high school, who better to celebrate with than the one person who'd made high school bearable for her? But Anya obviously didn't share her sentiments, and that cut Adrienne deeply. They were going to different colleges next year and if prom was any indication, they were probably going to grow apart. She put her head in her hands and sobbed, and then lit a joint to calm herself down. She usually saved getting stoned for either very good news or very bad news, and this definitely qualified. She didn't know if she was crying over the loss of her best friend or her girlfriend, and she didn't know which would be worse. All she knew is that for the first time in her life she understood how it felt to be heartbroken.

~

A week later, Anya was at prom with John. She was wearing a sapphire blue satin dress that, coupled with her red hair and pale skin, gave off almost a dreamlike quality. Her older sister was home from cosmetology school for the weekend and had done an incredible job on her make-up, which was dramatic, and her hair, which was piled on top of her hair all sexy and casual. She looked amazing, but felt miserable. She was incensed that Adrienne had the power to ruin this night for her without being anywhere around. It was not her fault that Adrienne had refused her invitation to come with her and John, it was not her fault that Adrienne had turned down a date with Craig from Spanish, and it was definitely not her fault that she had been refusing to take her calls ever since the parking lot blow-up. Anya had left dozens of messages on her cell phone, and she had no idea if Adrienne had even listened to them or if she just deleted them right away. She had to stop thinking about this. It was out of her hands. She was sorry she'd agreed to go to prom with John and sorry she'd called her best friend a dyke, but there was nothing she could do about that now. John asked her to dance, and she said yes, forcing a smile. She wondered if he would try to get under her dress tonight and if she would be okay with that. I mean, she had been practicing for a reason.

~

Adrienne was miserable. Her parents were forcing her to go to prom, and she was already so late. Her mother had hounded her relentlessly trying to find out why she was no longer going, and when out of sheer exhaustion she finally blurted out that Anya had found a date and ditched her, her mother took it upon herself to find a date for her daughter. Adrienne was adamant that she was not going to go with some random guy her mom brought home, but her parents were insistent that she not miss out on this, and in the end she caved. Her date was the college-aged son of a man that her mother worked in publishing with. They'd met at various different company events, so he wasn't a total stranger. Still, she was humiliated beyond measure that she had to rely on her mother to find a man for her, and as I result was determined to look hotter than she'd ever looked in her life so he wouldn't think she was a loser. Her mother had spent the whole day with her at the salon as she was plucked, exfoliated, manicured and groomed into something resembling a model. When she looked at the final product in the mirror, she was shocked. She didn't know how she'd missed it before, but she was beautiful. She'd thought maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all. And now she was sitting at home waiting for her date, and had convinced herself that he wasn't going to show, when the doorbell rang.

"I'm so sorry," he said as she opened the door. "There was a terrible accident on the highway and the limo was late picking me up. Do you remember me, Adrienne? I'm Dexter."

"Limo?," she asked, wide-eyed. As a publicist, her mother had taken her in limos before, but she'd never been in one of her own accord, and had certainly never had one rented just for her.

"Of course. When I take a woman on a date, I pull out all the stops." And pull out all the stops he had. He had rented a tux, and his hair looked incredible. His eyes were deep and soulful, and he looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. Why hadn't she remembered how hot this guy was? Adrienne blushed, and she could tell that her parents were thrilled. They snapped several pictures of the couple together, and then sent them off.

In the limo they drank champagne, despite Adrienne's underage status, and chatted easily with one another. Adrienne would have sworn they were on a real date if she hadn't known her mother was the one pulling the strings. He told Adrienne she looked amazing, and she felt tingles up and down her arms. This was what it was supposed to feel like when you went to prom with a guy. She was almost glad she'd turned down Craig from Spanish.

When they arrived at the prom Adrienne's eyes automatically scanned the crowd for Anya but she couldn't see her anyway. Dexter grabbed Adrienne a glass of punch and she smiled as he told her, "When I went to my prom I was a terrible dancer. Just terrible. My sister got married last year and as a 'gift' she got the whole family dancing lessons before the wedding. I think she just didn't want to be embarrassed by how uncoordinated we all are. As a result, I am now a master of the dance floor."

Adrienne laughed. "Good to know. I'm not much of a dancer, though. I never come to these things and I haven't had much practice," she said, watching the other couples swirl around the dance floor and keeping one eye out for Anya and John.

"I can show you a few moves, if you want," he offered comfortably.

What the hell. She was here to have a good time. "Sure," she said, as he took her purse and placed it on a chair.

"Have I mentioned how incredible you look?"

"Yes, a few times," she laughed, enjoying the attention and the feel of Dexter's arms around her.

"Your mom mentioned that you're going to the same college as me next year. I can show you around, introduce you if you want."

"Did my mom put you up to that? Tell you I'm a social leper?"

"No. She didn't say you were a social leper, she said you preferred to keep to yourself. Is that true?"

"I guess so. I just find that not a lot of people 'get' me. Everyone here is so fake. I'd rather be myself alone than pretend to be someone else to fit in."

"College is different. There's more different types of people there. There's not as much of a need to put up a front. I bet you'll fit in fine at my school."

"Well, maybe I will take you up on that offer, then," she said as the song changed from fast to slow. Dexter pulled her closer and she felt her heart-rate increase. There was no way this guy liked her. It was a pity date of the highest order. Yet even as she told herself this, she was taken aback as he smelled her hair.

"Why did you agree to come?" she asked him.

"Honestly? I've always found you intriguing."

"What? You don't even know me."

"That's exactly it. When all the other teens at those publicity dos was sneaking liquor and making out in coat check, you held yourself together so well. You were more like one of the adults. I always wanted to invite you to join us, but you seemed so above it all. I was afraid I'd get burned."

Adrienne couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was Dexter actually interested in her? "Thank you," she said numbly. "But I am definitely not above you or anyone else." She saw Anya across the room, at the exact moment that Anya saw her, and felt like a wrench was being turned in her body. She looked absolutely stunning. She always did.

~

It was eleven o'clock when the limo pulled up and Dexter walked Adrienne to the door. She had tried to enjoy herself after seeing Anya, but it had been hard and Dexter sensed the difference. She wound up telling him she had a headache. Her parents hadn't given her a curfew and she'd thought maybe she and Dexter would hit a college party or a bar, but after seeing Anya she just hadn't felt like it. He'd given her a quick kiss on the lips at the door and told her he hoped she felt better and to look him up when she started college. They exchanged numbers and emails and then he was gone. Adrienne sat down heavily on her front porch and was taking off her heels to massage her feet when Anya's car pulled up. Her heart leapt into her throat. She wasn't mad anymore. This was her best friend.

"Hi," Anya said.

"Hi."

"So, I saw you at prom."

"I saw you too. What happened to John?"

"He went to an after party."

"Why didn't you go with him?"

"I missed you," she said, sitting tentatively down on the steps. "I am so sorry, Adrienne. I've been miserable without you. Can you ever forgive me for the things that I said?"

"It's not what you said, Ann. It's the fact that you ditched me for someone else without a second thought."

"I know, and I'm sorry. To be honest, I'm just really freaked out by what's been going on between us. I don't know what it means and I'm scared."

"Oh." Adrienne thought about Anya's repeated insistence that she was not a lesbian. She said it almost every time they were together. It was all making sense now.

"Please just love me again."

"I'll always love you." They hugged. "So is this the reason you didn't go to the after party with John? Because you wanted to come right over and apologize to me?"