Two Notes, Two Calls

I'm not a father, so I don't know how authentic this might be, but I believe it conveys how I would feel about a daughter.

*

My Darling Daughter Emerald,

You are off to Uni and we are not parting under the best of terms, so I'm slipping this note into the book you're taking on the train in the hope you'll read it. I realise the argument today was mainly my fault. But I'm just being your father, you know, over-protective of my little girl, because you'll always be my little girl no matter how old you are, sorry. I've always loved you since before you were born, but the moment that clinched it was when I first held you in my arms and saw your beautiful eyes. Then your tiny hand clasped around my little finger and I was truly hooked, a father at last. In the eighteen or so years since then we've had our disagreements, especially the last five, but I can never be angry with you for long. I said I'd never interfere with your life, but that was what I was I doing tonight and I'm sorry. You must do what you think best. Your mother has told me I misunderstood what you were trying to tell me, but wouldn't elaborate, saying we must work it out between ourselves. I agree with her as I nearly always do, so here goes.

I always have and always will love you. We have just grown apart as you grew up. It was inevitable I suppose. When you were a toddler I was always your protector, the one you came too if you were in trouble and I miss that. I was your mothers 'ultimate deterrent' if you misbehaved, but you and she both knew that the worst I would do was withhold your sweets, and even then I'd give in after a couple of hours. As you became a teen, you had questions that I wasn't comfortable with answering so you had to turn to your Mom. That couldn't be helped as she is much better qualified to answer those questions than I, but it pained me not to be able to help you.

I won't apologise for terrifying your boyfriends, that is what Dad's do, no boy is ever good enough for our daughter, but I do hope I didn't put too much of a crimp in all the partying you deny went on.

I loved giving you things that made you smile; an ice cream, sweeties, my old camera, they all resulted in that beautiful smile and a 'thanks Dad'. You always thought I was jealous of all the views your pictures got on the web, but you were wrong: I was proud, so proud that I bought you a better camera than I had! And you repaid me handsomely by taking even better photo's, (and of course with another beautiful smile AND a hug!) Emerald, your pictures have always been better than mine (Except when it comes to old planes of course!) and that is the crux of the matter. NEVER give up with the camera, even if it's only taking pictures of your life for your old Dad.

I'll end now, as my eyes are watering. I just want to say you will always be the apple of my eye and will never disappoint me. Call me so I can apologise properly.

Your Doting Dad

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Dear Daddy,

This wasn't how I wanted to leave for university, so I've written this note for you and left it on your desk in the hope you'll read it. I'm sorry about our argument, but you were trying to do the one thing you said you wouldn't; interfere with my life decisions. The fact that you misunderstood what I was telling you is immaterial, I lost my temper and didn't tell you that and was just arguing for the sake of it. For that I am truly sorry. Forgive me for that.

You were always the one I came too if I had a problem or when I was in trouble and I suspect Mom doesn't know half of the things you did for me. As I got older I came to you with questions that I now realise you could never answer and I had to go to Mom. I suspect that was when you realised I was growing up faster than you wanted me to, but that was something beyond both our control. I'm grateful that you took a step back and stopped thinking of me as a little child.

I've left you my camera, the one you got me when I was ten, because I think you should use it. It must have cost an arm and a leg and needs to be used. Take it to some airshows and get some of those wonderful shots you take so well of those beautiful planes. I always enjoyed the airshows and the other places you took me and Mom, and they pleasure they gave you (and me I suppose!) You are always so proud of my pictures, even when I was little and you couldn't fool me when you moaned I was getting more views than you: I know you probably built them up by looking at them all yourself so I never had a picture without any views at all.

Dad, I'm desperately sorry that we argued and really want to call you once I'm settled in, but I don't know if you'll answer me. Suddenly there seems to be no one between me and the world and it scares me.

Your Loving Daughter, Emerald

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"Mom, is that you? I've just found the note that Dad left for me. Oh Mom, it's so beautiful, it made me cry."

"Emmie, I'm glad you liked it. You should know by now that your father is better at writing how he feels than saying it, even to us."

"Did he show it you? Has he found the note I left him?"

"I read both of the notes before you left Emerald."

"Why didn't you tell me when you dropped me off at the station?"

"Because this is between you and your father dear, I wasn't there, I don't know exactly what you were arguing about. You and he need to work this out."

"Mom, I left my camera there! I thought he should use it. But he wants me to use it. He must think I did it to spite him."

"And that's what you really think is it my girl?"

"No! Never. But... but he might."

"Your father might?"

"He won't will he? What should I do Mom? These are the situations Dad usually has to get me out of."

"So call him and ask him to bring you the camera, you silly thing."

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"Dad? This is Emmie..."