Two Russian Dipteras Meet and Chat

Being addicted to voyeur videos, which include females on toilets, there are some centred on the continental beach toilets, which are no more than an open row of squats over pits. Of course that means quite a few flies buzzing around and this story has grown out of those intimate scenes and my evil mind.

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"Where the fuck you been? You missed a great curly pile of shit down the garden. Fresh and hot, saw him do it and a few of us hovered and wow, was it tasty," snickered Fly1.

"What old Vladimir, he's getting regular," replied Fly2, buzzing in and joining him and a friendly family of burly blue, horse flies on a large, runny, splattered pancake of prize Holstein Friesian cow poo. "Don't think he can manage to get back up the dacha these days if he's caught short. Anyway I had an ace time, got stuck in the nicest possible way."

"Well they're all pretty regular. It's in their system heh," joked Fly1. "We don't give a shit, so to speak, do it anywhere and any time. Sorted. Any way where have you been hanging out?"

"Ah well, you know the beach at Sochi, really busy now and masses of food and stuff left everywhere. Just buzzing about round those fucking tourists is a great day out, you know, out of our daily grind, makes a change."

"The beach? Fucking long way when we've got the dacha, the apartments, the store and that new toilet they installed in the square, bit posh that, too clean but it'll deteriorate - hopefully."

"Yeah I know, we can always find stuff there, the people are a bit posh too, city lot down from Kiev at their holiday homes. Stuff on their kitchen worktops some of the guys never heard of. Only two days ago I found a superb piece of steak, just left, I mean how fucking daft is that and they must have disabled that wall gadget that's supposed to annihilate us. It was fucking bright blue, maybe spoilt their eyes, poor humans," giggled Fly2.

"Never been down to Sochi yet, should do, might buzz in with you tomorrow, so what happened to you? Ace time you said?"

"Those beach toilets are something else. Open country, nothing around trying to deter or kill us, you've got to watch those ladies swatting, but with our multi eyes those women haven't a chance. Never bothered with the mens There was even a fly gang down from Moscow buzzing around, can you believe that? Must have travelled with the humans. Call them selves Dipterans for fucks sake. How precious is that?"

Fly1 pondered that but didn't comment other than, "What's wrong with their own piece of shit. Thousands live there. I mean this is fucking seasonal, anyway go on."

His mate buzzed closer and drew him nearer.

"The beach toilets like I said. Open air, basic construction all those perfect holes in the brickwork to hide in - just got to be aware of fresh urrgghhh paint - one of the Moscow...or was it Kiev guys got stuck, still there poor bugger. Big hole in the floor straight down to the pit where we usually hang out, piles of shit, gooey stuff with the piss mixed in, fucking lovely.

Fly1 perked up his antennae on hearing about the shit and piss pit below the toilet base. "Yeah go on."

"There was all sorts there, fucking brilliant, young and sweet, old and crusty, every bum and cunt you can imagine, it was great buzzing around, in and out of the pit, round their faces and annoying them, shit of all sorts including some of that vegetarian stuff..."

"...Oh shit yes, can't beat good old meat can you - yeah so?" Fly1 interjected.

"Amazing how many of them are still hairy too. Thought that had been cleared years ago and not only the old gals."

"Wow! Don't get round much of that these days. Difficult to get round anyway heh heh...especially if they don't trim the length, get tied up if you're not careful..." Fly1 snickered, fruitily. "Any good dumps of shit? That takes some cleaning for the ladies and ideal if they're hairy for us to get stuck in there...nice lumps, sticky like."

"Well yes, that's the point, not exactly stuck, but I was sort of in a trap..." giggled Fly 2.

"Oh no, a fly trap?"

"Nah, silly bugger, wouldn't be here telling you would I?"

"Ooo get you clever shit, do go on. Got all day," chuckled Fly1.

"Well this plump woman, mummy type, stepped up for a piss as it worked out. Not old, maybe 50'ish, usual...you know, one piece swimsuit, a modern one actually, not those weird knitted ones you used to see. I buzzed up round her crotch after she hiked the gusset to one side, risky business for her, she could have pissed all over her hand, sometimes comes out side ways. Fucking gorgeous big meaty dangling flaps, gawd, love to eat those - and the classic piece of string - yeah! which before her piss started, was sort of stuck to her ring piece..."

"Wow! Stuck, she hadn't pushed it in there as well had she?" snickered Fly1.

"Nah, as soon as the flow started it hung soaked as they do. Usually they pull it out before they piss don't they?"

Fly1 nodded urging his buddy to continue.

"Quite a waterfall I can tell you, fucking steaming in the pit down there, clear not yellow though. When she finished, like I was all round her cunt, keeping dry, but there, up and down, she had a rural sort of face, lot of make-up, I had a rest on her nose and she flapped a few times, then her bottom lip but she missed me. Went back down below, her arse hole was big and bulky and looked like it would dump huge chunky turds, but didn't, mores my fucking bad luck. She did that bump up and down and side to side, shaking the drips off and you know...honestly - the way her flaps wobbled it was lovely, you could hear them slap slap."

"Yeah well I thought you were going to tell me something interesting, the way you started. We've all been there mate..."Fly1 scoffed.

"Yeah hang on, not so fast. She wiped them - her flaps, with wrinkly fingers which had loads of jewellery on, then she pulled the string and you know. It was OK, I've seen worse and she dropped it in the pit. Fuck me, loads of the lads swarmed it and I thought about it, but this is the best bit. Her cunt remained wide open, like a big gash, no... what's the word ...er a gape. That gusset I told you - she pulled aside- stayed trapped at one side of her big snatch and it was big and smooth by the way."

"Wow!" gasped Fly1. "Always been surprised how many of the older women are getting rid of their pubes..."

Fly2 continued in full flow, enjoying an especially runny sample of bovine cack. "Thought I'd try something different, you know - if you don't try you don't find out. I buzzed into the gash, intending to buzz in look around and straight out again, but too fucking late, she stood, the gash closed, it went all dark, she pulled the gusset over her cunt and said something to a kiddy nearby, who I think was going to follow her over the pit and walked off."

"Whhaaaat... With you inside her cunt?"

"I tell you mate, not a lie, it was shocking initially but when I got used to being a lovely, soft, cosy, warm and tasty place with no pressure I enjoyed it, there was a surprising amount of room...for a short while anyway. She must have felt me because I did scrawl around a bit, finding all sorts of nooks and crannies, but soon we were in one of those changing cabins, didn't know we were in there until I got out, good places too aren't they and the old gal pulled that gusset to one side again. I reckon it wasn't me, she'd forgotten to put a fresh, hate that word, tampon in or maybe she didn't have any at the toilet. Anyway, she parted those big flaps and suddenly there was light and air and I took the chance and buzzed out heh heh!"

"You dirty lucky bastard," Fly1 chuntered enviously. "Suppose she shoved another one in?"

"Dunno, didn't stay around too long, I was a bit sticky on the wings you know and found one of those used tissues and sanitary pads the ladies stick in the cabin walls instead of using a bin. Bit tasty too, that one. Anyway, bit of a unique adventure eh?" stated Fly2.

"Fuck yeah. Hey look, there's some hikers delving in amongst those trees. Bet they're going for a piss or a shit. Lovely jubbly...come on last one there's full of crap."

The end