Unbreakable Bond Ch. 04

Shane trembled as he felt the intensity of his pleasure increase to unbearable heights. He knew he was about to lose it. He couldn't help but wonder how he'd managed to hold off that long. When he felt Chris blow lightly into his ear, Shane moaned as his entire body locked into that moment of exquisite tautness that came before release. Dear God, he was going to... Chris chose that moment to slide his stiffened tongue into Shane's ear...

Shane erupted with an animal roar, his orgasm hitting him full force as hot cum forcefully burst from the tip of his cock in thick streams. He whimpered brokenly as his cock jerked within Chris' hand and his entire body convulsed in fierce tremors as relief exploded through him. His heart pounded so fiercely inside his chest he felt as though his chest might explode along with his cock. Shane's orgasm lasted forever as Chris kept milking his cock with perfect strokes, extending his pleasure till Shane thought he would go insane. He moaned throatily at the exquisite feeling that kept slamming through him. He couldn't seem to stop coming. Even when he eventually stopped coming, blissful tremors still shook his frame. Shane struggled to bring his breathing under control. Fuck, that had been sensational, he couldn't help but think even in his dazed state. He felt so sated and drained he knew the only thing holding him up was Chris' strong arm around him.

Though Chris knew that Shane would be sensitive after that explosive release, he couldn't bring himself to stop stroking him. Strangely, Chris just wanted to keep feeling that powerful cock within his palm. He didn't want to let it go. And from the shudders going through Shane, Chris knew he loved it too. Shane's entire body continued to jerk in hard spasms as Chris continued to stroke him. He only stopped stroking when Shane's hand went to his wrist to give it a light squeeze. Chris saw a box of hand-wipes on the mantel above the fire place and reached up to pull some out. He didn't know why it was there but he was glad it was. He tenderly wiped Shane's softening cock and his own palm and threw the used tissue into the fire. Then he tucked Shane's cock back inside his jeans and zipped him up. Chris then wrapped both arms around a still spaced out Shane, smiling when Shane gave a small sigh of contentment and relaxed completely against him. Chris didn't blame the man. That had been intense. So when Shane suddenly pulled out of Chris' arms and started slowly backing away from Chris with so much fear in his eyes, Chris got confused.

"Shane?" Chris didn't know what was happening. He started moving tentatively towards Shane who was shaking his head slowly as he backed away, his eyes clearly pleading with Chris not to...hurt him?

Then it hit Chris like a thousand tons of bricks... Shane looked terrified. What confused Chris even more was the fact that Shane actually looked scared of him. The man could easily take Chris down in a blink of an eye if he wanted to so why was there so much fear in his eyes? What had happened between them had been so spontaneous and beautiful it made the terrified look on Shane's face rather inexplicable. Shane didn't have any reason to be scared, Chris thought confused. Unless...

"Oh God, Shane..." Chris froze. What the fuck had he done to Shane, Chris cursed at himself silently. "Shane stop." Chris breathed, as he felt his heart break into a million pieces. "I'm not going to hurt you. Please stop."

"I couldn't help myself." Shane spoke as if he hadn't heard what Chris said. "It won't happen again, I prom..."

"Shane!" Chris' raised voice finally caught Shane's attention. Shane still had an uncertain look in his eyes but he stopped his backward movement.

Chris went closer till his body was virtually touching Shane's. He didn't even feel the tear that slipped down his cheek. He slipped his arms around Shane's waist and bumped his forehead against Shane's. Silent tears kept sliding down Chris' cheeks as the two men just stood there in silence...till Shane broke the silence.

"Why are you crying?" Shane whispered, reaching up to gently wipe at Chris' cheeks.

Without answering to Shane's question, Chris let go of Shane and turned around to switch off the projector and turn off the gas, instantly quenching the fire in the fireplace. Then reaching for Shane's hand, Chris drew him into the room adjacent the den. It was a tastefully decorated room with a really big bed. It was obvious no one slept in that room. Chris toed off his loafers, drew Shane to the bed and gently pushed him onto it. Then Chris got into the bed with Shane and spooned behind him, wrapping one arm around his waist, holding him tightly to his body as if Shane would disappear if he loosened his hold on him for even a second. He didn't say a word, he just held Shane. Both men were lost in their own thoughts, wondering what the other thought about them at that very moment. Chris was convinced by Shane's reaction after coming back to his senses, that the other man saw him as a monster of sorts and wondered what he could do to redeem himself. Shane on the other hand didn't think he could ever look Chris in the eye after what he'd allowed to happen.

"Chris?" Shane called out quietly.

"Yes, Shane." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"What just happened," Shane's voice shook, "I need you to know... I don't go around doing...it's not a habit." By the time he finished talking, his voice was just a breathy whisper.

Chris' arm tightened around Shane. "I know, Shane." Chris whispered. He didn't have to be a genius to know that Shane wasn't that kind of person. Hell, the guy lived like a hermit. "I know."

Chris felt Shane relax at his answer and knew he had said the right thing. As he lay there holding Shane in his arms, he couldn't help but think how right Shane felt against him. Chris' intention was simply to hold Shane but soon their breathing evened out, indicating that they were both fast asleep. Till an unusual sound woke Chris up.

Immediately he came fully awake, Chris heard pitiful groans coming from Shane. His body jerked as he thrashed about in the bed. Shane sounded like he was struggling against something...trying to get away. Chris immediately knew he was having a nightmare so he started shaking Shane gently, not wanting to worsen Shane's situation by rather startling him. But Shake didn't wake up. His groans rather became cries that were so gut-wrenching it sent a chill through Chris. He was about to shout Shane's name but froze when he heard Shane's words...

"Please Chris." Shane cried. "Please don't hurt me. Won't happen again. Please that hurts. Please...please... Oh, God . . . Chris don't..." And Shane was virtually screaming now. Chris wanted to die.

An agonizingly intense feeling of self-loathing swept over Chris at the torment Shane was going through. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get Shane to wake up, had to get him to stop, had to...fuck! Chris shot up onto his knees and started shaking Shane vigorously, no longer worried about startling him. Chris just wanted the gut-wrenching sounds to stop.

"Shane, wake up." Chris sounded panicked and desperate.

Shane suddenly sat up in bed, sucking in air with deep gulps, his face drenched with sweat. Chris moved till his back was to the headboard, and then drew Shane to sit in between his legs so that Shane's back was plastered to his chest. Then he wrapped his arms tightly around Shane and rocked him.

"Shh, baby," Chris whispered, the endearment falling naturally from his lips. "I've got you. I'm not going to hurt you. Promise." He kept murmuring as he rocked Shane gently. "I'm so sorry."

After a while, Shane cleared his throat and whispered, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I didn't mean to fall asleep like that." The humiliation in Shane's voice couldn't be more obvious. "I hate like hell you saw that." Shane groaned.

Chris went still against Shane. "Do you get these nightmares often?" At Shane's nod, Chris' heart almost stopped. "How often?" Chris sounded as though he was being strangled.

Shane remained quiet for so long Chris thought he hadn't heard him. Then he gave an answer that shook Chris to the very core.

"Every night."

"Oh fuck." Chris whispered as he instinctively tightened his hold on Shane. "And it started..."

Shane nodded slowly. "That very night." He said quietly, confirming Chris' fears. "Whilst we waited at the bus station that night, I fell asleep. The next thing I knew my mother was shaking me awake. It has never stopped since."

"Oh my God, Shane I'm so sorry." Chris almost sobbed. It finally dawned on him just how much he'd fucked up Shane's life. He didn't deserve Shane's forgiveness.

"I'm okay." Shane said quietly, noticing how shaken Chris was. "My system is kinda used to it. I always sleep afterwards just fine." Shane had no idea why he wanted to reassure the man holding him. Though it was none other than Chris' fault he woke up screaming every night, the last thing Shane wanted was for Chris to be worried or feel guilty.

"You're not okay. What I did was..."

"You were just a kid." Shane cut him off. "Much as I've been angry at you for almost half my life on this earth, I know you were a kid. You panicked. That was a harsh way to express your panic and confusion but hey, people react in different ways. So don't worry about it. I am fine."

It was all too much for Chris. The tension that had built up within him since seeing Shane again, the realization that he'd ruined a beautiful life and the fact that Shane could even be kind to him despite all that he'd done to him combined and rioted within him till he simply couldn't contain his emotions. When the first sob tore out of Chris, Shane turned around and knelt between Chris' thighs and cradled his head against his chest. Chris' arms went around Shane as his body shook with great heaving sobs.

"I'm s...so sor...sorry, Ni...Nick. So sor...sorry." Chris stuttered through his tears.

"It's okay, Chris." Shane murmured into Chris' hair. "It is okay." And when he heard those soothing words from Shane, Chris cried even harder. He didn't deserve that treatment from Shane. Hell, he didn't deserve to be in the presence of the man holding him with such tenderness that very moment. Chris had no doubt that he was in the presence of a better man. He cried till the front of Shane's t-shirt was drenched.

When he eventually quieted down, his head remained against Shane's chest. "We seem to be doing a lot of that lately." Chris hiccupped shakily.

Shane laughed softly. "Crying is good for the soul." He said quietly. "Mama always told me that if only I could cry just once, I would feel better. But I couldn't cry...till that day in the garage."

"After all these years?" Chris sounded incredulous.

"Uh-huh."

Chris went quiet. No wonder Shane had broken down like that. It had been a release of years of pent-up tears. "And did it do any good?" Chris pulled back his head to search Shane's eyes and was surprised at the smile on Shane's handsome face.

"I've never slept as soundly as I did that night. I didn't wake up till around noon the following day." Shane chuckled as he sat back on his heels. "No nightmares, no nothing. I was just dead to the world."

"Mothers know best huh?" Chris said quietly, remembering how loving Sylvia Lewis had been to him. Would she ever be able to forgive him for what he did?

Shane looked at Chris and just knew what he was thinking. "Hey, don't worry about it. She loved you like a son."

"Till I acted like a monster." Chris retorted miserably.

"Don't underestimate a mother's love." Shane said softly.

But Chris refrained from pointing out to Shane that, the fierceness of a mother's love was rather why he dreaded ever coming face to face with Sylvia Lewis. In a way, he felt he'd wronged her even more than he'd wronged Shane. No mother deserved to see their child in that state Shane was in. No mother could ever forgive such brutality against her child. Chris didn't think it was necessary to go into an argument with Shane on that topic so he kept quiet.

"I don't know about you but I'm famished." Shane groaned. "We didn't have supper." He said as he jumped off the bed. "Come on, let's go raid Abigail's kitchen."

And as the two friends walked into the huge classically modern kitchen, both felt a sense of peace. It was as though a burden had been lifted off their shoulder. They felt free, happy and hopeful, but most of all, they felt...cherished.

***

Chris couldn't help the smile that broke out on his face as he watched Shane stretch with his eyes still shut the following morning. Shane looked so adorable and innocent lying beside him. Though he'd virtually not had any sleep during the night, Chris had enjoyed the feel of Shane's warm, hard body against his. After they had raided Abigail's kitchen the night before, they had gone back to bed and talked till Shane slept. This time, Shane hadn't gotten another dream and Chris had been thankful for that. He'd virtually spent the entire night staring at Shane sleep peacefully. Chris couldn't get over how sweet and vulnerable Shane looked in sleep. He'd always felt protective towards Shane but what surprised Chris was how he could still feel protective towards Shane when the other man obviously didn't need his protection. If anything, Shane rather needed protection from him, Chris thought with a groan.

At Chris' groan, Shane opened his eyes to find Chris' gaze on him. "Oh crap." He muttered. It felt so strange to wake up to someone in his bed.

"Good morning." Chris chuckled, watching Shane. The dark stubble peppering Shane's chin made him look sexy rather than disheveled. Surely it was a crime to look so good that early in the morning, Chris thought with admiration.

"Good morning." Shane murmured, squeezing his eyes shut.

Chris laughed softly and reached out to smooth a hand over Shane's low cropped hair and then tenderly palmed his cheek. "Hey, open those eyes." He whispered, grinning when Shane did exactly that. "You have beautiful eyes."

Shane's eyes lit up with amusement at Chris' comment. "Change your line." He murmured. "You've told me that before."

"I know." Chris whispered, looking amused too. "And it's not a line. It's the truth."

Shane turned to lie on his back. "I can smell coffee."

Chris chuckled, sitting up. "Look to your side." Chris got off the bed and went around to Shane's side to pick up a mug of coffee. "Here."

Shane sat up and took the mug from Chris and then took a sip. "Hmmm...this is good." Shane moaned as the hot creamy coffee burst over his tongue and rolled smoothly down his throat, leaving warmth in its wake. "Just how I like it."

Chris laughed softly. "Abigail told me exactly how you liked it." Chris said as he sat on the edge of the bed beside Shane. "You've always had a sweet tooth."

Shane laughed. "Thanks for the coffee." He mumbled, still a little shaken at finding Chris in his bed. "Don't you want a cup too?"

"No. I'm okay." Chris said quietly, studying Shane's face as he sipped at his coffee. Even that simple act of sipping looked sexy to Chris.

"What?" Shane asked, thanking his stars for his colour. He knew if he were white, his face would be so red at that particular moment. Chris' hot piercing gaze on him brought an intense feeling of vulnerability and shyness that made Shane uncomfortable.

Chris shrugged. "Nothing." He answered, managing to look all innocent. "Did you sleep well?"

Shane's belly quivered at the rasp in Chris' voice. "You know I did." He murmured, staring into his mug. He'd never felt as safe as he had, being surrounded by Chris' body heat. He'd really liked it. He looked up and saw a look on Chris' face that he couldn't fathom. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm not thinking." Chris' voice turned husky. "I just want to..." he shrugged those broad shoulders, "look at you."

Shane groaned. Chris made him hot without hardly doing a damn thing. Shane surprised even himself at what he did next. In one fluid move he placed his half empty mug on the bedside table and drew a pillow to cover his face.

Chris burst into laughter and reached out to pull the pillow off the laughing face of Shane. "There you are." Chris said, throwing the pillow onto the bed. "What do you want to do today?" Chris asked softly.

The playful look left Shane's face. "I'm going to New York to visit my mum today."

"Oh." Chris felt his heart plummeting to his stomach. "When will you come back?" He asked, willing his heart to stop beating so fast.

"I'll come back on Monday." Shane said quietly. "Just in time for the meeting."

Chris couldn't have described what he was feeling at Shane's news if he'd been asked to. It was a myriad of emotions...he felt a sense of loss, dread, unease...it was a very unpleasant feeling. The mere thought of Sylvia Lewis made him panicky. But the thought of not seeing Shane the whole of Sunday actually terrified him. Had he become so used to seeing Shane that the thought of not seeing him for just a day terrified him so much? The riot of emotions he felt had his heart racing. He was missing Shane already. Shit!

Chris had to make an effort to put up a cheerful face, with a calmness that belied the racing in his heart. Shane planned on leaving home around noon as his plane was set to take off at one in the afternoon. Chris spent the little time Shane had, with him instead of meeting his squad for their usual Saturday get-together. Shane wasn't taking anything so didn't have any packing to do. All the two men did was talk. Sometimes there was no talking at all, just comfortable silence. When it was time to leave, it was a struggle for Chris. And if the gloomy look on Shane's face was anything to go by, he hated leaving Chris just as much as Chris did.

"You'll be late." Chris murmured when it was almost twelve. A driver was in to take Shane to the airport.

Shane and Chris reluctantly dragged themselves out to the garage, to Chris' car. Another twenty minutes went by with both men just standing there, saying nothing. Finally Chris gave a deep sigh and turned to face Shane.

"I have to go." Chris said softly.

Shane nodded. "I know."

"Have a safe trip." Chris said quietly. His heart felt so heavy, he felt queasy in the tummy, and there was a lump in his throat the size of a mountain. "Fuck." Chris breathed when he felt his eyes sting with unshed tears. Pull yourself together, Chris admonished himself silently. It somehow annoyed him that unlike him, Shane not only looked calm, but was a picture of masculine confidence, which Chris himself usually always possessed.

"Chris..." Shane didn't know what to say. The look in Chris' eyes said clearly what he couldn't say. He didn't want to leave Shane. That look...part longing, part helplessness, drew a groan from Shane. He reached up and brushed the back of his fingers over Chris' cheek, melting inside when Chris leaned into his touch. "Give me your phone." Shane demanded in a gruff voice. He knew if he wasn't careful, he would cancel his trip to stay with Chris. But his mother would kill him if he disappointed her. Besides, he'd missed the sweet woman so much. He therefore didn't have any choice but to go.

When Chris handed over his cell phone, Shane used the phone to call himself and then saved Chris' number. Then he saved his on Chris' phone and handed the phone back to Chris.

"I'll call when I get to New York, okay?" Shane husked. And at Chris' nod, Shane turned around and headed for his car without a backward glance. Over the years, he'd learnt how to mask his feelings very well. And it actually paid off when it came to his business dealings. Shane Lewis knew how to hide his emotions but he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to do that for long around Chris.