Unconquered Pt. 06

The hills that spread between Nex-Ho and the Wildfree Forest were tall enough that, by the time they had jogged to the top of them, Ember was puffing and panting. Goat Who Wrestles, his sagacious mentor and the tutor of the Vengeful Crystal Hawk Style, was sitting on a platform that rested atop Ember's head like the world's largest, least comfortable hat. Ember, who knew that he could leap half a league in a bound and tear houses out of their foundations, knew that he could have carried Goat without sweating – and his two Lunar Wives, June Devilborn, and maybe more. But doing so would have made his anima flare as the energies of the Unconquered coursed through his dragon-lines.

And Goat had, at the beginning of the hike, said: "Whatever you do, Sunboy, do not flare your anima."

"Oh? Is this is a martial arts training thing? Like, control your anima, control your spirit! Control your spirit...whoaaaah!" Ember had kicked at the air so aggressively that a concussive wave of compressed air had snapped out from his foot and smashed into a dumpster that was left by the wall of Nex-Ho, sheering it in half. "Oh, uh, oopse, uh-"

Goat had snorted, then hauled out his palanquin hat, then jammed it onto Ember's head, and said: "No. We just don't want the Fae to know you're the Unconquered."

"Will they be upset?" Ember asked.

"Oh, no, they'll be delighted," Goat had said. "You'll be the one who won't enjoy being devoured by the greedy mouths of ten million million fae for the next two centuries."

And so, Ember's neck and shoulders felt like one big knot of tension and sweat beaded on his forehead and his shoulders and dripped from his fingers. His whole chest, in fact, was glistening like he had been oiled. He wanted to bend his head forward, to try and catch his breath. But doing so felt like it might snap his neck right off, considering the weight balanced on his scalp. Goat, who was smoking from his pipe, blew out a small dragon of smoke, which winged into the sky before finding a cloud to lay upon and take a nap.

"I'm honestly moderately impressed!" Goat said, puffing again.

"Really?" Ember asked.

Goat blew out the smoke cloud of a small, three breasted woman, which floated in the air before dispersing. "No, most Unconquered would have been able to handle this with ease, even without flaring their anima. At least, from the stories." He chuckled. "Lets hope they were all exaggerations, or else you get to be the worst Unconquered, eh?" He clapped his hands. "Mush!"

Ember groaned and started down the hills towards the Wildfree Forest – which looked a great deal like the Wildfree Forest that had spread to the north and east of Rataka Village. Ember almost went cross-eyed trying to remember the map of the Land while also avoiding skipping in mud, tripping on rocks, or running into stunted trees that had managed to grow into the hillside. He sprang over a small creek and landed with a grunt, the palanquin hat rocking on his head. "Question!" he gasped out. "Wild...free? But...Rat-" he gasped. "Taka!"

"Every Wildfree Forest is Wildfree Forest," Goat said, tapping at his pipe, then breathing out a ram that ran through the air. "The same way that all pure ocean is Pure Ocean – they're a metaphysical concept intruding into our world, a middle ground between raw chaos and the ordered reality of the Sun, the Moon, and the Gods." He chuckled. "Watch your wits."

"I'd be able...to watch my wits...if Chirp...and Xora...could come...and...help!"

Goat snorted. "Yes, I'm quite certain that your Lunar Wife and your Lunar Saris..." Goat's voice grew more gentle on the second word and Ember felt a teeny bit less like stabbing him in the junk. Goat respected Chirp. Now, if only he'd respect Ember, they'd be good. "...are going to let their Unconquered Husband head into the Wildfree Forest, court the Queen of the Fae and screw her brains out so hard that she'll give us free passage through the deep chaos, without following."

Ember slowed as he came to the bottom of the hill and the foreboding wall of the Forest. Trees spread out to either side – thick and heavy with leaves, with bark of near midnight black. The space between the trees was shadowed, making the lances of light from the sun overhead seem all the brighter. He could taste an otherworldly spice on the air, and his tongue tingled in his mouth, as if he was already chewing on the forbidden fruits of the fae. He shook his head – and Goat yelped, his pipe clattering over the edge of the palanquin hat and to Ember's feet.

"Hey!" Goat snapped. "I only have six hundred of those left."

"How do those all fit in your loincloth!?" Ember asked.

"As if I put my soulgem on my forehead where anyone could see it," Goat said.

Ember, who hadn't even thought to look for Goat's soulgem – as no one in Rataka had had one until he had been incarnated as the Unconquered – opened his mouth. Closed it. "Right." he said. Note to self, he thought. Never ever ever see Goat naked. Also, investigate your inventory!

He knew that he had at least one possession of the Third Unconquered in his soulgem. Maybe he'd have something from Good King Bahul in there? Or something from the First Unconquered? Or the Fifth! Or...any of them! But then Goat's foot clomped against his hat – rattling the whole structure. "Forward!" He said. Ember wanted to glance back over his shoulder, to see if he could see Chirp and Xora. But instead, he started forward, walked between two trees, and stopped short – the hat catching on both trees and tugging off his head. He had a second of horrified shock at the sudden lack of a weight on his neck – and then-

Crash!

Ember slowly turned around and saw Goat sprawled in the wreckage of the hat, his legs canted wide, his palms spreading on the ground behind him. His beard had a huge splinter stuck through a large tuft of it, and his bald pate gleamed in the sunlight that beat down on him from overhead.

Goat spat his pipe out and stood. He picked the wooden splinter from his beard and flicked it away.

Ember tried to say 'sorry' and 'oopse' at the same time, but the words choked in his throat like two rickshaws slamming into one another in a busy street and all that came out was a strangled 'sopse!' but before he could get a real word out, Goat smirked at him. "I was wondering how long it'd take, my student." He walked past Ember.

"Yes!" Ember said, loudly. "I meant to do that."

Goat stopped, turned to face him, then reached out, grabbed Ember by the ear, and dragged him into the Wildfree Woods.

As the two of them vanished, Chirp and Xora peeked up and out of a pair of bushes. Xora glowed faintly with a pale, silver aura – paradoxically making her rather easy to see...if you could spot her in the preternaturally perfect hiding spot she had chosen, guided by the essence of the Moons, which coursed through her veins the same way that the power of the Sun flowed through Ember. She cracked her knuckles so loudly that Chirp ducked for cover, before emerging back out of the brushes, blushing furiously.

"I'm seriously considering..." Xora paused. "Um..."

Chirp blushed. "Kicking Goat's butt?" they suggested.

"W-Well, I mean, I don't want to kick anyone's butt," Xora whispered, her head ducking forward slightly.

"Oh!" Chirp said, their ears perking up slightly as they bared their fangs. "You hold him, I kick his...you know...man bits."

"The dick?" Xora asked.

Chirp blushed. "I was trying to be, um, a bit more circumspect."

"He'll be circumspect once I'm done with him," Xora said, frowning. "That's what folks from the Desert of Glass do, I hear."

"...what?" Chirp whispered.

"They take some glass and-" Xora held up a finger, then mimed sawing the tip off.

Chirp gaped, her ears pinning back. "Really?"

"Not the whole tip!" Xora said, hurriedly. "Just...the skin part."

Chirp gaped even harder. "Why?!"

"Their god gives them superhuman strength for doing it," Xora said. "They can fly. And shoot mana blasts out of their eyes."

"Oh," Chirp said, blinking. "Okay, that makes sense."

The two of them realized that Goat and Ember were now distant shadows in the dimness of the forest. Chirp nodded. "Okay," they said. "Lets use our animal forms to track them." They flashed with silver light, becoming a small, fuzzy, flat nosed bat with even more pronounced fangs than they normally had. They flapped around – and Xora blushed, rubbing her hand along the curved fin that sprouted from the back of her neck. Chirp squeaked, in the tongue of the bats: "Oh! Right!" They flashed back to their humanoid form. "Lets just sneak."

"Yeah!" Xora's body glowed silver as she channeled mana into her – and despite being nearly six feet tall and clad in heavy muscle, managed to creep through the woods without making a noise, nor disturbing a brush. Chirp followed after, their body swiftly being almost impossible to see in the deep, brooding darkness that dominated between the trees.

Together, they followed – towards the heart of the Wildfree Forest.

***

"And then the Bonies came around the hill," Goat said. "And the only person standing between them and the village was me and Junie. So, I looked at her, and she said...they won't eat me if they're busy eating you. And then she started to run. Now, normally, most people would take that as a good reason to get upset. But you see, they don't call em Bonies because they're covered in bones."

"Wait, they're not covered in bones?" Ember asked, trying to keep up with his sifu in both the physical environment of the Forest – which had grown thicker and wilder with every step – but also the space of his seemingly endless panoply of war stories.

"Oh, no, they are," Goat said.

That was when the young person stepped out from around the tree. They were the same height as Ember and looked somewhere between male and female – they had the facial features of a woman, but the short, well tended beard of a man. The fact that their skin was a crystal blue and their hair was sea green wasn't actually a definite indicator that they were a Fair Folk – as there were humans with blue skin and green hair all over the place. It was something subtler. Something that was almost indefinable – ineffable. It was in tiny movements, in graceful cant of the head, in the liquidity in the eyes, in the alien emotion that flitted through them.

Ember knew that this person was a fae, from their head to their toes.

"Greetings!" the fae said, bowing almost in half, flipping one hand wide. "I am the Greeter. You are almost at the Goblin Market – might I ask your name?" They stood, smiling at Ember, who smiled back.

"I'm Ember," he said, holding out his hands.

"May I have your pronouns?" Greeter asked, taking Ember's hand.

"Uh, sure," Ember said as Goat choked on his pipe. "He him?"

"Thanks!" Greeter said, smiling broadly as he stepped back and away, then turned and sprinted into the darkness.

Ember blinked. [] reached down to scratch the back of []'s neck. Then [] yelped. "What the fuck!?"

Goat held his pipe in one hand, the tip caught between two of his fingers. He reached out and bopped Ember on []'s head. The pipe felt shockingly solid and weighty – Ember winced and clapped []'s hands on []'s head. [] scowled at Goat. "Dude!"

"Yes, I am," Goat said, his eyes flicking down.

Ember looked down at []self and blinked slowly as [] realized that something was missing. [] placed [] palm between [] legs and gulped slowly. "Goat. My dick is missing."

Goat shrugged one lanky shoulder. "That's why you shouldn't be so lose with your lips with the fae. Have you never heard the saying: Loose lips get you fucking fucked, you fucking idiot, never give the fae anything, you absolute cretin, gods help us all that you're the Unconquered this cycle."

Ember glared at him. "That's the saying, huh?"

"The whole saying, exactly," Goat said, puffing on his pipe. "It's weirdly exact for such a widespread saying, buuuut-"

Ember threw up []'s hands and put them over []'s face. "Great. I have two lunar mates, and I've managed to completely ruin our relationship in one fell swoop." [] groaned. A rustling sound came from the tree above [] and when Ember looked upwards, [] saw that the a large, sleek face was peering from the leaves. [] had just enough time to realize it was his wife, Xora, before she tumbled, head first out of the branch and crashed into []. Ember sprawled on [] back and groaned as Xora scrambled to get her arms underneath her and pushed herself upright.

"Sorry!" she said.

"Xora!" A bush hissed.

"Sorry!" Xora said.

"It's okay, Chirp..." Ember groaned as [] pushed []self up. Xora walked backwards on her knees and her palms, then sat back on her thighs. She looked down at [] and Ember looked back up at her. Ember had noticed before that [] Amethyst was tall – but at the moment, [] felt completely and utterly undone. It made Xora look even taller, even more imposing. And Ember hated it. [] hated how much being dickless made [] feel weak and pathetic.

How stupid!

How stupid could [] be, pinning everything on a tiny bit of anatomy. Well, not so tiny. But still, comparatively tiny. And unimportant. [] could walk and breathe and punch. [] could still defeat evil. But at the moment, all Ember wanted to do was shrink away from Xora, who was looking at [] nervously. "Sorry for landing on you," she said.

"What's wrong?" Chirp asked, immediately flapping out of the brush. They landed behind Ember and shifted from their drakhul bat form to their human form, so their pale hands could slide along Ember's chest, hugging [] tightly. "What happened?" They looked up at Goat, who had decided to sit down on a moss covered stump. Goat puffed on his pipe.

"The Unconquered has been unmanned. Literally," he said.

"I feel really stupid right now," Ember whispered.

"Oh? Feeling weak? Indecisive?" Goat puffed out a thin streamer of smoke which formed into a coiling snake in the air. "Don't beat yourself up about it too badly, oh Unconquered one." He grinned at [] and cocked his head. "See, you're not just missing your dick."

"Ember's missing his...their..." Chirp's brow furrowed – their mouth forming words, but not the sounds. Xora was mouthing the same thing, and looked just as confused. Ember's brow furrowed a bit.

"You haven't just lost an organ, Ember," Goat said. "The fae are able to consume, trade and manipulate concepts. Direct metatextual attacks upon your shinima." He reached out, twisting his pipe about to tap Ember's forehead – tapping right against []'s soulgem, which clacked loudly. "You've lost your own conception of masculinity – which is far more than just a dick."

"Shinima..." Ember put [] hand against []'s soulgem. [] nodded. "I remember, June mentioned that. It's like the things they make before they make houses. Blackprints?"

Chirp giggled. "Blueprints," they whispered in his ear.

"Blueprints," Ember said. "And...and..."

"Soulgems can store items and possessions," June said, her voice growing clipped and distracted as her eyes swept up and down the scroll, reading the long columns of letters. "Via shunting it into your Otherspace using a metamagical construction, shaped and controlled by imagination inputs and shinamatnic fluctuations, mostly modulated by mana expenditure."

Ember scrambled to [] feet and focused. Golden flames flickered along []'s fingers, crackling as the soulgem set into [] forehead began to glow. A scroll came flying out of it. Ember caught it and shook [] head. "Nope!"

[] tossed aside the scroll, then the small gemstone, the jade pendent, the tiny golden wolf ring, the small stick wrapped in beaded strings. [] only paused on the papyrus sketch of the gorgeous, golden skinned woman posing naked before a massive crocodile, before tossing it away with a shake of [] head. Xora and Chirp both stood and backed away from the growing collection of stuff.

"What are you doing?" Xora asked.

"I'm looking for a-" Ember blinked as a glowing bead of pale red light shot from [] soulgem, landing in [] palm. Ember beamed down at it, then closed [] palm tight around the light. It flared between her fingers and Ember breathed a slow, shuddering sigh of relief as she closed her eyes. Then her eyes snapped opened. "What the-"

Chirp put their hand over their mouths. Xora blinked several times in rapid succession.

"Nice rack," Goat said, grinning. "Though, uh, with that kind of frontage, you'll need to adjust your stance a bit."

Ember, who had been gaping at her 'frontage' for the entire time, realized that she was now shirtless and rocking the most impressive tits she had seen since Xora had taken off her top. She clapped her hands over her breasts and let out an almost Chirpish squeak. "Goat!" she hissed. "Nice rack?"

"Well, it is," Goat said, puffing on his pipe.

"I'm the Unconquered, you know," Ember hissed. "I can kick your ass."

"Hmm, can you though?" Goat asked.

Ember flushed, closed her eyes, then forced herself to calm down. But it was hard: The emotions roiling inside of her came in such a sick, sweet, complicated brew that it was hard to isolate any one thing, to narrow anything down. She felt an intense sense of relief to be something again – but she also felt a crawling, creeping dread about being a girl. And that made Ember worry: Did he really look down on being a girl? Was it that horrible of a thing?

No.

"I just don't wanna!" Ember wailed.

"You don't want to get your gender back?" Goat asked, standing up. "Odd aspiration, but-"

"No, I just...I don't want to be a girl," Ember said. "Not like this. I want to be me, not..."

Chirp stood and pressed up against Ember's back. Xora hugged against her front. The two of them squeezed Ember tightly, nuzzling and kissing her – making Ember squirm and blush. Then Ember felt Chirp kiss her ear, before whispering. "Hold very still, we're going to fix this right up."

Using their bodies as a shield, the two Lunars worked with blinding speed, plucking leaves from the air and from the trees nearby, weaving them together, and then binding Ember's chest up tightly. They stepped backwards and Chirp gave Ember a big thumbs up. "There we go," they said, nodding as Ember felt the strange stifling feeling of the binding around her chest. She put her fingers against the leaf bindings, while Xora ruffled her hair.

"How does that feel, Ember?" she asked.

"Nice," Ember said, slowly. "And ready to do this. Goat, we're going to get my gender back." She paused, then clenched her jaw. "And from here on out, treat me like a man. Cause I am. No matter what pronouns I'm borrowing." He blushed, then clasped his hands together as he realized that was a little bossy for referring to his master. He bowed low and added a respetful: "Sifu."

Goat inclined his head. "As you say, Ember," he said, his voice actually gentle for once. Then he chomped down on his pipe again. "But we got a problem. A fae trade is permanent – you can't just beat Greeter up until he gives your gender back. You need to get him to trade back."

Ember frowned.

"I have an idea," Chirp said, blushing.

The group leaned in as Chirp whispered their plan.

And slowly, they began to grin.

***

The Goblin Market was a profusion of chaos and delights. The high trees of the Wildfree forest grew even taller under the fairy light glow of a thousand fireflies that danced through the air above the market, like flowing rivers of light. Those seemingly infinite spires broadened out to form the front facing walls of many market stalls: Wooden bark was carved aside to create alcoves and seats for merchants, their wares laid out for all to see upon blankets of woven dreamcloth and shimmering silk. Maggot-shaped spirits of decay vomited up bile onto fine platters that went for the hefty price of a newborn's dream, while the many colored goblins that ran the market swept up any dropped currency into the floating bellies of blimp-like tenders. Fae of both Seelie and Unseelie courts walked by in glittering procession – clad in ice and snow, flame and leaves. Their servants would sometimes dart out, to offer bottled souls to finely crafted goods, while their cataphracts shoved aside anyone who was foolish enough to stay in their way.