Under Life

I never intended to write this as a series, but people asked for more of Missy, Janey and Mark. So this is not a stand alone story. You'll have to read 'Over the Top' first. But the story could be stopped at each of the segments, there's no cliffhanger endings. I'm going to call these, 'Missy's Story'. It's in three parts, Over the Top, Under Life, then Aftermath. In all honesty, Over the Top is not a good lead into a series. It was never written to be, it was to end, 'Happily ever after'.

It was also my first submission to Literotica, and it was an experiment in writing style. Most of it is written in a rapid fire staccato, that some found hard to read, sorry. Under Life and Aftermath are written in a much cleaner style. But all the characters are developed in Over the Top. Plus it's meant to be kind of fun, tongue in cheek, over the top.

There was no 'on screen sex' in Over the Top. There's only one long session, at the end, in Under Life. Aftermath will have more. Under Life and Aftermath are both longer than Over the Top. In writing this as a series, the plot naturally grew. But the characters stayed the same. As of this date, Aftermath is more than half finished, the hard half. So hopefully Missy's Story will be finished soon. All three parts of Missy's Story are still a romance, just a romance of three people. The heart loves where it wills, sometimes that doesn't fit in neat little boxes.

Enjoy

Janey

***********************

I don't think Missy would leave Mark to be with just me. Plus I know Mark feels the same. That Missy wouldn't leave me to be just with him. Its part of what I'm trying to deal with now. I love Missy, and I know she loves me. I know Missy loves Mark and he loves her. Where does that leave Mark and me? It wasn't love at first sight with Mark and me, which would have made it so easy. Sometimes, I think that life just laughs at us. We make all our plans, of how our life will go. Then life just says, 'here deal with this'. Then drops a bomb right in the middle.

When Missy fell in that hallway it terrified Mark and I. What happen after, with the doctors and hospital... more than terrified us. We thought we were going to lose her. Missy won't recognize the seriousness of what happened. 'I just fainted for a little bit' is all she thinks, but she, kind of wasn't there. No one faints for over 3 hours, plus she couldn't be revived.

When we got to the hospital, doctors were flying around, tossing very heavy terms out. Like; catatonic, brain seizure, neurological event. Her brain waves were wrong, not normal. It wasn't just fainting. Both Mark and I were shaking, sick and scared out of our minds. Then she just woke up.

The doctors didn't know what caused it. They didn't know what to call it. They didn't know why she just woke up. They were at a loss to explain any of what happen. But they said she had to stay in the hospital for observation, overnight at least. They had her on sedatives to keep her calm. But mostly she just slept and that bothered them too.

Mark and I never left her room while she was there. We were too scared to. That gave us a lot of time to talk. We were both so terrified by that time; we knew we had to make some hard decisions, fast. Before she woke up. Both of us felt strongly that we couldn't try to make her choose between us. That just might put her back in the hospital, maybe in worst condition. Neither of us wanted, couldn't, wouldn't live without her, we loved her that much.

So the only thing to do, was to 'share'.

I told Mark I felt that if we tried to keep separate times, lives, homes with her. The jealousy would be too much to bear. Plus it would cause a lot of stress on Missy. If we tried to live together, in the same house, and just be with her at different times. That was no better than living apart; the jealousy would be the same. We had to all be together, nothing hidden.

We had to be lovers. Oh...both Mark and I battled that. It wasn't that we weren't attracted to each other. We're both attractive people after all. It just felt so clinical, so forced. If we wanted to be with Missy, because of the other, it had to be this way. So there was this stubborn resentment. We're both very intelligent people, we knew that, those feelings, would tear this relationship apart. Before it even got started.

"God...Mark how are we going to do this, we're sitting here calmly, saying we're going to be lovers. We're going to feel, this way about that, that way about this. Can we just tell each other how we're going to feel?" "I don't think emotions work that way."

""Janey, I'm a guy, being lovers with you would not be hard. Your beautiful and so hot a guy would be stupid not to. But I love Missy, I was going to...no I will marry her, if she'll have me now. So part of what's scaring me right now, is I'm making decisions for the rest of my life. I won't live without Missy.

I agree with you it's going to be very hard to dictate feelings to ourselves. But right now I think we have too. At least show that to Missy. I can't be without her, and I almost lost her. When she wrapped her arms around you, then kissed you. My heart shattered, I knew I had lost her to you. I feel so terrible now, but when she collapsed. Then I knew she loved me too. When she wouldn't wake up, the rush here, the doctors. I don't mind telling you, I was dying inside, so scared I thought I would wet myself. I love her that much, I won't live without her!"

"OK Mark, I'll say the same thing. If I had met you in a night club, I would ball you in a New York minute. But we've Missy here, and I agree this could be for the rest of our lives. Hell, Missy's been most of my life. God, when I was little I sat in front of a mirror, so I could learn to make faces, just to hear her laugh. Every time she got a new boyfriend, I died inside. But every one that broke her heart, I was going to kill.

I love her so much; I lived with half of her. Because half was better than nothing." "And here I sit trying to tell you I love her more than you, because I grew up with her. We can't fight or compete, she'll see it.

Everyone looks at Missy and sees a child, but she's not. She's a grown woman and smarter than most people. If we try to fool or lie to her, she'll see it, right away. This has to be all or nothing, she'll know if it's not!"

"Your right...you're absolutely right. She'll see if it's false. But how can we do this, if she'll see through us?"

"Tell her the truth. We both love her and can't, won't live without her. That we're willing to share; so we can all be together. Admit that we don't love each other right now, but maybe we will someday. That we're attracted to each other, now. We're willing to make this work so we can all be together. But most of all we love her."

"OK, Janey I don't see any other way to get what we all want, and not endanger Missy."

"Oh...Mark I'm so scared...we've talked this all out, about how it'll work. But in my heart I don't know if she'll love me enough. She's fought, in her own mind, to prove that she's not a lesbian. I don't know if she'll even try to have sex with me. I know she loves me, but I don't know if she loves me enough!!"

"Janey I don't think you have to worry about that. When she threw her arms around you and kissed you, I felt that you had won. I knew that everything had changed between you two."

"I hope so...God I hope so. I don't think I can live with only half any more. But I also know I can't live without her. What am I going to do!!?"

"That's not all Janey. What are your parents going to think? What about Missy's? Not only are we hitting them with the relationship between you two, but the relationship with all of us. That's a lot to take all at once. I don't know if Missy's even talked to her folks about me yet. So we might hit them with everything all at once!" I've talked to my folks a little, but that could be good or bad..."

A small weak voice slips between us. "Are you guys talking about me?"

Melisa

***********************

I can feel myself floating up again. Just hearing voices, but not what they're saying. What I do feel is them, I'm aware that they're holding my hands, but mostly I feel them... their presence. One on each side, Mark so big, Janey so strong, but she's talking and crying at the same time. I don't want her to hurt; now that I've found out I love her. Oh...I love her, and then I start remembering. I know I've hurt them both, and I kind of want to hide. I know that their talking about me. Before my mind can engage I ask them, 'Are you talking about me.' I don't want to open my eyes and see the hurt I've caused them. I can feel them in my mind. Janey's pain, crying and doubt. Mark's sadness and worry. Strangely, for me, but for Janey too. I can feel myself so small beside their love. Sinking into the softness of the bed. 'I love you both... sorry."

Mark

***********************

Janey and I are both trying to touch her. Janey's hand is on her forehead and brushes to her face. My hand is in Missy's hair. Her eyes stay shut, but she squeezes my hand.

'I love you both,' her forehead furrows and eyebrows drop. 'Sorry' as her face relaxes, she fades down into sleep.

"Oh...Mark what does she have to be sorry about? I'm the one butting in and causing all the problems!"

Janey's head falls to the mattress as she's crying. I reach over and stroke her hair gently and let her cry.

It's been several hours since Missy woke for a little while. Janey cried for about a half hour, and then she fell asleep. I'm amazed that she can sleep like that, sitting up in a chair, head lying on the bed, holding hands in Missy's lap. My mind just won't stop, rolling this situation around and around. It's not getting anywhere different than when Janey and I talked, but I keep trying. How did I get myself in such a mess? I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. That I can't...no won't get out of. I realize then, that even if I feel like I'm trapped, I don't want loose. Missy is the sun that rose into my life.

Every relationship brings with it baggage, I just never thought it would be another woman. But it is what it is. I look at Janey's long, beautiful, golden hair. It's laying spread out on Missy's bed, almost reaching the foot. I reach over to touch it...

Missy's eyes are watching me. I see her smile and she mouths 'I love you.' Then she looks at Janey sleeping there, tips her head to look at her face, and falls back to sleep.

As hospitals always are, the next time Missy woke up, was because of the nurse, close to morning. With all the nurses at shift change, doctor's rounds, more tests. We didn't even try to talk about anything important. Once when there was time between nurses. Missy reached for both our hands, looked at each of us. 'Together...OK', and nodded her head. It was like she had listened to everything we had talked about, and agreed.

The doctors told us they didn't want her to be alone for at least the next 48 hours. We had my car, so with wheel chair, nurses, check out papers and all in tow. We headed there. I guess I didn't even ask, but went straight to my place. The ride over was very quiet, I didn't know why, but no one was talking. I felt that maybe, everyone was just nervous about what to do next. Then I realized that, I had just made the decision to go to my place, without asking the others. Well another thing that has to change.

"I'm sorry Janey, I guess I just thought my place was bigger than yours. I know it's bigger than Melisa's, but I never thought to ask about yours. And Missy I never asked where you wanted to go. Shit, what a jerk."

Janey

***********************

"It's okay Mark, I know Missy's got clothes over here, and she's stayed over before. So it's more familiar, she'll be more comfortable here."

"Well guys I guess I'll be going and leave you two alone. Call me if you need anything." I watched Missy as I turned to go. She didn't say anything, just looked to Mark. And my heart broke all over again. She choose him again.

"Janey stop", Marks voice halted me in mid step. I turned slowly to see them holding hands. I was almost crying, but I wasn't going to let them see that.

"Janey we don't want you to go." It felt like someone poured warm water inside me...maybe it would be OK after all.

"OK Mark."

"Janey we're in this all together now, and we might as well start right now. We all want this." My knees gave out and I collapsed right on the floor, crying.

"Oh, Janey."

Mark came over to me in a few quick steps. Then picked me up and sat me on the couch by Melisa. Missy wrapped her arms around me and pulled my head down on her shoulder. Mark sat down behind me and hugged us both. This tough armor plated slut just sat there and cried. I was home...

Melisa

***********************

I sat petting Janey's hair, with her head in my lap. She cried so hard, it just took everything out of her. I don't think she even knew when she fell asleep. It felt so strange; I was used to Janey being so strong. To have her lay in my lap, crying like a lost lamb.

I felt so warm and loving, caring for her. Maybe that's how Janey's felt with me all these years. Maybe I owe her a lot of years of care; she's always been there for me. Now it's my turn to be there for her. She was going to walk off and leave, to give us that out. If I wanted it to be just Mark and me, she would. Even though it would break her heart, she was going. All we had to do was do nothing.

She would have left and died, in fact or just in her soul she would have died. She was willing, if that's what 'I' wanted. There is more golden in her than her hair.

But I've always known that. I just didn't look at why or how much she loved me. That's a weight around my neck right now. To know she only took what I selfishly wanted to give, for most of her life, for most of her whole life! She never pushed; she never even let me know that she didn't push. I didn't even know there was a reason, too not push. But that's my fault, I didn't look. I was a growing, loving, young girl and woman who wouldn't look at what was in front of her face.

One of the most important people in my life, I wouldn't look at, to see what she needed, wanted. Because I was scared, scared of people calling me a name, lesbian. Somewhere in my early life, I learned that this was a dirty, foul name. 'I' was never going to be called that. So I denied my friend, my heart for most of her, my life.

Janey was right, when she told me, she wasn't a lesbian. Neither am I. To my thinking and definition, lesbian is a woman who's a lover of women. A woman who will have casual sex, with other women. A woman who will go to a bar, to pick up another woman. I don't love women, just Janey and Mark. If there wasn't a Janey, I would never have looked at any woman. Mankind has never proven how one heart decides to love another. But the heart loves where it wills. Sometimes it's not the most comfortable, socially acceptable person. As one woman to another, but I will no longer deny what's between Janey and I. But I'm crying in my heart, because I don't know if I can actually make love to Janey. I'm such a hypocrite, I know this is right, to love Janey. I know I love her, as a lover. But I've built this rock in my mind. Not a lesbian.

If when she first kissed me, in that hallway. If we had been alone, and in a safe place. I could have made love with Janey and it would have been beautiful. I know this, it would have been perfect. But now my mind is getting ahead of my heart, and that stone in my mind is getting bigger. I'm scared oh so...so scared, I don't know if I can. If I can make love to Janey, and I know I have too. I know that I have to make the first move. If I wait for Janey to, I'll jump and probably pull back. That would KILL her and me too. I'm so...scared!

Mark

***********************

I watched the two of them for a little while, Janey sleeping in Missy's lap. Janey's right too, if you didn't know them and just looked. You would think that the child was comforting the mother. But you would be wrong, it's not very apparent. But Missy has a different kind of steel in her core. Spring steel that will bend, but come back to where it was. I could read the expression on those doctors faces. They were very worried about the state of Missy's mind. Not her mental state, but her physical mind. Very worried, but she snapped back. She's OK, she's Missy again. I hope oh...god I hope so.

I can't sit still. I have to move, I called work to set things up. I talked to Janey and Missy's bosses, told them that they're going to be gone for a while. Up to a week or so, to draw on the labor pool or from other departments. I called Gray to get him to pick up the Mellar project. I didn't go into detail, just that I'll be off for a while.

I called Tom's house, I needed him to close up some of my tasks. He's the one who knows the most of it. But I got Alex, she knows something's wrong. I had a hard time getting her to leave it alone. I told Mick that he might have to pull double duty with Tom if needed.

I called both Ken and Mike to let them know I'll be gone, up to a week. To help out where ever they can. I know they would have without me asking. But it's nice to let them know. Everyone wants to know what's wrong, but their willing to wait until I'm ready.

I have to get something for dinner. Should I cook or order something in, but what to order. I need to get Janey to bring some of her clothes in, for a week's worth. Maybe pick some of Missy's if she needs. I need too...I need...

I drop into a kitchen chair, my hands are just shaking. I really just need to get a hold of myself. I need to be solid for the girls, there's so much tension going on. One of us needs to be stable, solid, and that needs to be me. A couple of deep breaths and my eyes shut. I try to settle out. A few more deep breaths.

I need to go, be with the girls, to be quiet. When I get there Janey's still asleep, Missy still with that thousand yard stare. She's worried, so worried about her and Janey. Watching her, I know she's accepted Janey and what they have. But I think she still has some kind of doubt. I'll order in.

Melisa

***********************

I can feel Mark watching us, feel his nervous tension. In the back of my mind I've heard him on the phone, fixing things at work. Making plans, setting courses of action. Why do men, when they get nervous, have to fix things? I heard him moving around in the kitchen. Did he feel he had to cook something for dinner? He can't sit still; I can feel it in him. The need to move. I bet he's thinking that he's the man of the house. He needs to fix us, make it all right. Be the one to lead the way.

But right now he can't, he doesn't have the connection. There's a tie between me and Mark. A tie between me and Janey, but not much between Janey and Mark. He was going to let her leave. He didn't know that she wouldn't be back if she left. He wasn't trying to exclude her; he just didn't realize what she needed. And boy was she needing.

When she sank to the floor, my heart soared and fell at the same time. Soared because she loved us that much. Fell because she thought I would let her get hurt that bad. She knew that we all needed to be together. But she didn't trust us to let her in, or maybe she didn't think we felt she was worthy enough, to be let in. But either way she needed to know she was part of us. Right now, part of us. Never to go back to the way it was.

This is part of why I'm so scared, right now. I'm the focus, the center. I'm the one that needs to make this work. It's so close to what Janey wants and needs. And I've hurt her for so long, ignoring what we had. Because of fear, fear of names, and what other people thought. Mark and I are forever. When we met, we both knew that, knew it was forever. I just forgot that when we were little, Janey and I knew it was forever too. One day it wasn't, next day it was, Janey and I. I forgot that.