Undiscovered Paths

Waking in the darkness, I pressed my hand against the inside of my thigh, wishing it were leaner.

"Why do you touch yourself when I may not?" he growled in my ear, yanking my hand away.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I...," I gasped.

My senses reeling, his lips wandered, as I gathered my breath, blood racing, leaving me incapable of a second's thought. His hands gathered me up, as my arms circled up to his neck, pulling him closer.

"How can you do this to me? I take care of you, keep you safe, give you as much of myself as I can, yet it's never enough, is it? You torture me--your scent, your desires--do you think I don't know them?" he paused, my chin in his hand, giving me a chance to catch up. I could feel the heat of his glare.

"Beloved, sex was the last thing on my mind; I was just wishing there wasn't so much of me," as my cheeks burned my discomfort. "I love you, you know I do," I trailed off as he kissed away my preoccupation.

I reached out to him, caressed his cheek with my curled fingers.

He took my hand in his, bent his head and kissed each finger, bringing back my shudders.

"I'm sorry, I was watching you sleeping, so peacefully, wishing for more," he murmured between kisses.

"Why don't we try for more? Just a little at a time, please?" my mind racing, my heart pounding. "It would help, wouldn't it, at least it wouldn't hurt so much, right?"

"There's only so far we could take things right now, more has to wait..." he sighed into my hair.

"That's still more than we've done so far, isn't it? We've been like this how long? It's torture to be away from you, almost as bad is laying here in your arms, wishing for more, but not speaking it," I sighed. "Surely a little, backing off when it's too much, when we get too close, couldn't that-" got cut off as another kiss, more urgent than the last, overwhelmed me.

"It has possibilities, your idea," he mused, leaving me breathless, shifting me about more resolutely.

This sudden gentleness left my senses reeling. His hand moved from my jaw, traced along my neck, leaving a scorching trail down my throat. With a kiss tasting of spring rain, his lips reclaimed mine as his hand stroked my shoulder, my arm, lightly stroking, cupping my breast, as I gasped into his mouth. His kiss didn't let up, deepened as he held me, not letting me go, but not pushing further either. As my breathing slowed, he pressed my breast with his hand, sighing into my open mouth, his fingers teasing my nipple, my heart beating faster.

He broke the kiss off, but his lips never left my fevered skin, leaving their own trail. My neck, my throat, shoulder, as he slid down, then traced to my previously ignored breast, pulling that nipple into his mouth. Gasping aloud, I let my hands wander over his shoulders, his hair, wanting to encourage him. Never moving his mouth away, he pushed my hands back, away from him, over my head, only going back when I ceased my struggles.

Then I understood. My touching was too much. I grappled with myself, wanting more, but trying to be as still as he needed. It was strange, being touched like this, yet not allowed to respond in kind, only my breath and my heartbeat revealing my yearning. Just when I had mastered myself, his caressing hand moved to my waist, my hip, down to my knee and, making the struggle that much more difficult, stroking the inside of my knee, urging my leg to open to him. How could I refuse; I was melting under his touch. His hand rested where mine had previously pressed, waiting for my breathing to calm, as he traced back up to my mouth, kissing as he went.

"Is this what you meant?" he breathed, waiting.

"Mmm," was all I could get out, as though I was going get out of this that easily.

"Hmm? I missed that, could you please translate?"

I opened my eyes, to gaze longingly into his.

"Tha's what I thought, too. Good idea," he murmured, as his lips reclaimed mine, and the caressing on my thigh resumed.

How could I possibly hold still? How could I not? When I moved, he froze, but histouch was so hard to hold still under, to not respond. Especially when,oh, God he did. I don't know how to, but oh, God, help me hold still!!

His fingers, stroking so lightly, as our tongues did their own dance, as I strove to be still. His fingers pressing into me, searching, finding, driving me crazy; I never wanted him to stop. His lips let mine go, only to trace around them, my cheek, my jaw and back to my mouth as I gasped my release.

Holding me close as the shudders continued, murmuring, "So beautiful, so very beautiful, that's it, yes, my beauty..." kept the tremors going.

As I started coming down, he gathered me into his arms, sighing with contentment.

"I liked that. Are you all right?" he murmured, pulling away, as I shuddered.

Unable to speak, clinging to him, I covered his mouth with mine, kissing his cheek and sighing, curling back into his arms.