tagFirst TimeUnfulfilled Desires

Unfulfilled Desires

byterravista©

My older sister and I always struggled to get along. It was more than the normal sibling rivalry you might expect from two sisters, only separated by 18 months. From as far back as I could recall we'd actively disliked each other. It wasn't helped by the fact that we were quite different physically.

Laura was shorter by two inches, had dark brown hair and an olive complexion. While she was very attractive, with a curvaceous body; but she was flat chested. A fact I constantly reminded her of. On the other hand I had strawberry blonde hair, pale skin tone, with freckles across my shoulders and cheek bones. Laura teased me with all the usual red head taunts. I was slimmer and more athletic than her, with a nice sized bust. We teased each other mercilessly about each other's looks.

"You must have been adopted," being our favourite taunt.

We both felt our parent's favoured the other and we would be very forthright in stating this. I think it's one of the reasons our father left when we were in our early teens. His departure didn't make us quieten down. If anything it made us worse. It was our mother who suffered the most.

This extreme jealousy wasn't shown to the outside world, apart from close friends. Both Laura and I were popular and had our own circles we mixed in. We'd been raised Christian, but after our father left she became a little more edgy in her lifestyle. Once that happened, it was a near certainty that I would make a conscious effort to move in the opposite direction.

Some of my friends were closely involved in the Church; so I became a full blown Christian. This included being baptised for a second time. This allowed me a moral high ground and I used it to denigrate my sister and her lifestyle choices, every chance I got.

Throughout our teens I was the one who went with nice church boys, arrived home on time and didn't experiment with alcohol or drugs. Laura on the other hand went through an extended partying phase. Toward the end of high school she hooked up with Ray Turner, a 'bad boy' from the wrong side of the tracks, three years her senior. Our mother was horrified.

"Oh dear; this would never have happened if your father was still around," she would say.

"Yeah; your headed straight to hell, you harlot," I would chip in, being at that time, right at the height of my religious zeal.

Ray was a good looking boy, with black wavy hair, he often went unshaven. He liked his dark shirts and leather jackets. He had a glint in his eye and was the epitome of a rebel. Despite my Christian leanings I couldn't help but notice his good looks. As usual with me and my sister, jealousy reared its head.

Sometimes Ray would catch my gaze lingering a bit too long. He'd smile at me knowingly and I'd blush bright red. As time went on he began to return the looks and give a little raised eyebrow. I'd hurriedly look away in embarrassment and determined he was the most sinful boy I'd ever encountered.

"They deserve each other and they're going directly to hell," I decided; but the attraction remained.

I'd begun going with Andrew Baker; a blond wholesome boy, from a good Christian family. Our mother was delighted. At this point, there were many arguments between my mother and Laura. I was easily winning the sibling battle.

Unfortunately for me, as time passed, Ray Turner showed some redeeming features. Being good looking and a smooth talker he got a job in sales. He appeared to care for Laura and after two years together they announced their engagement. She was 19, he was 22 years old.

By then the tables had turned. I felt Laura had begun to overshadow me in our mother's eyes. This continued through to their wedding, after which they moved into an apartment of their own. Laura was soon pregnant and all the talk was about building a home for their new family. I soon became tired of hearing about it.

The one good thing about their marriage and building a home was it placed me at home, alone with mother. I made the most of this. For a brief while I was again the number one daughter, staying home and seemingly leading a pure lifestyle.

However, I'd turned 18 years old and it was my final year in High School. I was starting to become increasingly ambivalent about the wholesome Christian life I'd been leading for six years. I'd been with Andrew for over two years. Tall blond and handsome he might have been, but by 18 years old I wanted a bit more from our relationship.

During our first year together Andrew and I had never ventured beyond kissing. To be fair these kisses gradually became quite passionate affairs. However there could be no acknowledgment of this, because arousal outside of marriage was frowned upon by our church. As the second year of our relationship progressed a number of things occurred.

First, I became increasingly aware of the sensations our kissing engendered in me. At first these embarrassed me and I did my best to quell them. However, as time went on I began to relax and enjoy them more. My nipples would tingle and harden, and I'd get a pleasurable ache in my lower stomach. To accentuate these sensations I began to push my breasts into Andrews's chest and attempt to manoeuvre my groin onto his thigh.

Second, some of my Christian friend's boyfriends were willing to go much further than Andrew. My friends were not slow in informing me of this. Hands on breasts soon became hands inside bras. In the case of my friend Sandy the bra was soon being discarded. When she told me she had touched her boyfriend's penis I'd feigned shock, but was secretly envious. I wanted to explore Andrew's body.

I decided to get bolder with him and initiated talk about touching. I invited him to touch my breasts, over my blouse and bra. Andrew agreed and the first time he did it I'd shuddered and groaned. Andrew became uncomfortable at this overt display of enjoyment.

"It's sinful," he'd say, although I noted he didn't stop altogether.

When we were kissing standing up I'd push myself into him and feel his hardness on my stomach. It didn't frighten me; I loved it. I was pleased that being with me made my man erect. Unfortunately Andrew continued to refuse to go any further and my frustration grew.

After my High School year group had graduated, my friend Sandy told me she had celebrated this by having sex with her boyfriend.

"What; you were naked and touching?" I asked.

"Yes! I was so wet and slippery down there. He just slipped his cock into me. Ann Marie; you wouldn't believe. It was just the greatest feeling, to have a man inside of me."

"Oh Sandy; you shouldn't have. You've sinned," I said, my nipples like hard pebbles like at hearing her story.

"Don't be such a prude Anny. Mike and I are going to marry one day, so it's all right," she said, justifying her behaviour.

Another friend, Abby, told me a similar story. She didn't refer to it as a 'cock' and her boyfriend hadn't put it in her, but they'd masturbated each other to a mutual orgasm. As she described this I'd become weak in the legs and had to sit down.

Pleasuring yourself was a sin, let alone pleasuring each other before marriage. My mind was in turmoil. It didn't seem fair that my friends were getting these experiences and I was missing out. I was now desperate for Andrew and me to move on with our sexual relationship.

Not all of my friends were moving in this direction. Both Sarah and Courtney were still merely kissing and happy to do so. However I found myself less interested in those two and gravitating more toward Sandy and Amy.

It was at this point, in mid-summer, that problems developed in Laura's pregnancy. My mother constantly dwelt on this.

"She'll do anything to steal back the limelight," I thought to myself.

Then Laura was told to bed rest. Immediately my mother made an offer for both her and Ray to move home, so he could continue to work and mother and I could care for Laura.

"I have no intention of being tied up all day caring for her," I told my mother spitefully.

"Oh, Ann Marie. For a Christian you certainly have a cold heart," my mother said.

"Only when it comes to her."

"Anyway, it's decided. It's my house, my grandchild and she's coming home to rest."

"But we both work," I said, bringing my part-time job at the takeaway chicken shop into the equation.

"We'll manage," my mother replied dismissively

So Ray and Laura moved home. Fortunately, Laura only occasionally rose from her bed, so I didn't have to see her often. Who I did see regularly was Ray. He would come home; see to Laura when she called and spend the rest of his time in the lounge watching sport. I'd sit on the other sofa reading, but couldn't help but glance his way far too often.

"Golly he is handsome," was my most regular thought; with the second being, "Laura doesn't deserve anyone that handsome and attentive."

I now found my thoughts began drifting more often to Ray than they did to Andrew. Some of these thoughts were not what a good Christian girl should be thinking and they caused me much conflict.

My friend Sandy was now really beginning to rebel. Not only sex, but drinking as well. One evening at her house she offered me a drink.

"C'mon Anny; you know I won't tell Andrew. Dear sweet, boring Andrew," she said giggling.

"Oh you're so mean to him. He's nice; I love him."

"I know you do, but there's more to life," she said, offering me the glass of her mother's white wine.

I gulped half of it down.

"Woah girl, that's the mistake I made. You'll get very sick doing that. Just sip it."

I liked the taste and had two glasses before her mother returned home and cut our evening short.

After sitting around giggling like little girls for a while, Mrs Finch suggested I go home.

I swayed my way through the short walk to my house feeling nicely light headed. When I walked into the lounge I found Ray there, watching sports.

"Where's Mum?" I slurred.

"Gone to bed," he replied.

I didn't need to ask about Laura; knowing she probably hadn't got out of bed all day.

I sat on the sofa beside him. Normally I'd never have done this, but the wine was still making my head buzz and I was feeling playful. As I sat down his male odour assailed my senses. I breathed it in deeply.

"This is boring," I teased, knowing full well how much Ray loved his sport.

"You've been drinking," he said after a long delay.

"Maybe," I said, now openly flirting.

"I can smell it. I thought you were a good Christian girl and alcohol was a sin?"

"Maybe it was. Maybe it's different now. Maybe I like being a little sinful."

I looked directly at the TV, but could feel his eyes still upon me. I was happy with this and knew he was weighing up how to proceed.

"You're being a bit of a naughty girl Anny," he finally said, referring to me by the shortened name only my friends used.

Ray leaned his head in toward mine. I could hear his breathing, feel him close.

Despite my intoxicated state, I knew exactly what he intended. The thought excited me.

"He's going to kiss me," I thought. "He's Laura's husband and he's going to kiss me. What a sinner."

Now was the time for me to pull away and act offended that he would even think of kissing his wife's sister.

Instead I turned my head, looked directly into his eyes and pursed my lips. It was beyond flirting. I giving an open invitation to proceed and he did just that.

Ray tilted his head and brought his lips to mine. The first touch of his lips on mine sent a chard of pleasure, cutting through my body. I let out a gentle sigh as the kiss intensified and we slumped into the back of the sofa.

His hand rested on my hip. The forbidden nature of our intimacy made it the most passionate kiss I'd ever indulged in. When our tongues met the hand left my hip, slipped under my T-shirt and onto skin. This light touch jolted me again. I drove my tongue into his mouth.

His hand began to move up and still I did nothing to stop him. I knew exactly where it was headed. I welcomed it there as it came to rest on my bra covered breast. Ray altered his position as the kiss continued. He began to massage my breast more meaningfully than Andrew than ever had.

Then, without Ray in any way indicating that I should do so, I dropped my hand into his lap. It just seemed the most natural thing to do. My hand rested there for some seconds. In my ignorance I didn't realise what I'd encountered, until he placed his hand upon mine and moved it back and forth.

"Oh dear," I said breaking the kiss, realising I'd encountered his erect penis.

"You do that to me Anny. You make my cock throb. You always have."

That completely threw me and the reality of the situation hit hard. I stood up.

"I...we...we shouldn't. It's not right."

"I don't think you mean that Ann Marie," he said, also standing. "I think you feel it's all very right. I think you liked it."

I couldn't deny it, so I didn't try as I attempted to grasp the enormity of what had just occurred. I'd just kissed my sister's husband. Not only that, I'd kissed him back with some passion and touched him where men like to be touched.

Ray reached out and took my hand in his. He began to stroke his thumb across the back of it.

"Sit back down Anny. You know you want too."

"No," I said, then swallowed hard. "I should go."

"One more kiss. Then you can go."

Before I could gather my thoughts his lips had again moved to mine. I melted into him and again returned his kiss with some passion. I could feel him pushing into my stomach, but let it continue.

This embrace continued for some minutes until he moved slightly to the side, reached down and cupped me through my jeans. Just as with Amy's story my legs went weak as his touch awoke long withheld feelings. I let him cup me there for some while and then I freaked out.

I wrenched myself free from him, bringing my fist to my mouth, wondering what I was doing.

"We shouldn't be doing this," I said shaking.

Ray merely gave me a large smile.

I swivelled and ran to the bathroom. It wasn't Ray I was scared of. It was my own body's reaction. I felt like it was on fire.

"I need to get to my bed," I thought. "I need to lie down."

My bedroom was on the ground floor and as I looked back up the hall I could see Ray still watching me. I quickly moved into my room. I stripped off my t-shirt and bra. My nipples were rock hard and tingling. I held my breasts in my hands and rubbed the nipples with my thumbs, stimulating them further.

Then I stripped off my jeans, put my t-shirt back on and jumped into bed. I switched off the lamp and lay in the dark. Now I began to relax and relive what had occurred.

"Oh my gosh; that was amazing," I admitted to myself. "His lips, his hand on my breast; between my legs; his...his hardness," I thought dreamily.

Suddenly I heard footsteps outside my door.

"It can't be anyone other than Ray," I thought. "Surely he wouldn't follow me into my bedroom. Would he?"

I held my breath my heart pounding hard. Part of me wanted the door to open; for him to come in and resume his touching. Another part was terrified at the prospect.

"That would be way too much. He's Laura's husband, not some random boy," I thought.

I exhaled a long sigh of relief when I heard the footsteps move away. My whole body was alive with both trepidation and arousal. My breast's tingled; my groin had a most pleasurable ache. Masturbation was frowned upon and I'd never indulged in such an act, but I rolled onto my side, put my hand between my legs. I clamped them together trapping the hand there, hard up against my mound.

I had thought s only for Ray and what I'd touched as I rocked gently back and forth.

"God will forgive me," I thought as I drifted off to sleep.

------------------

The next day I sent a text to Andrew, saying I must see him. I was desperate. Thoughts of sex had risen to a new level, but I didn't know how to handle them. However I did feel certain I should to be exploring them with my boyfriend, not my sister's husband. I pushed thoughts of Ray aside as I arrived at Andrews's house.

"Don't be too long up there Ann Marie," Andrew's mother said sternly, when she let me in. "Andrew needs to work on the sermon he's delivering at the church on Sunday."

"Yes Mrs Smith; just half an hour," I replied with my sweetest smile, heading up the stairs.

The Smith's didn't like me in Andrew's room. They trusted him implicitly, but not me. Possibly the sharp eyed Mrs Smith had seen some small change in my demeanour. Some sign of the sexual awakening that was occurring.

"And leave the door open you two."

"Sure," I called happily while thinking, "Darn it, your son's nearly 19, not 10 years old."

Andrew was working on his speech when I arrived, so I just lay on the bed. After a while I pleaded that he give me some attention. He came to the bed. The first thing I noted was clean shaven Andrew didn't have the same strong male odour that Ray had emitted. He was almost too well groomed. Nevertheless I immediately pulled him to me and began to kiss him passionately.

"Woah; you're happy to see me Ann Marie," he said breaking the kiss.

"Come here," I said and pulled his ear to my lips.

"I want you to touch me Andrew," I whispered.

"Touch you?"

"Yes; here," I said pulling up my t-shit and placing his hand on my bra.

I was desperate for him to squeeze it hard. To unleash the same sensations Ray had the previous night. But Andrew just left his hand sitting motionless. I quickly rolled on top of him and jammed my thigh between his legs. I felt his penis. His 'cock' as Ray had called it. I moved my thigh upon it. That got the response I was after. I felt him grip my breast. Our lips meshed hard together.

"Mm mm, this is going the right way," I thought as we indulged in this provocative manner for fully 10 seconds. I began to feel the same arousal I'd felt the night before. My breathing quickened.

"Oh yes, that's nice," I couldn't stop myself from gasping as I manoeuvred my mound onto his thigh.

Andrew immediately broke the kiss and sat up. I castigated myself for exhibiting too much wanton arousal.

"What's got into you Anny? With the door open as well. Heck, you can't be doing that. You know it's not right. It's downright sinful."

"I know it is, but..." I replied, my body still afire, so disappointed that he'd stopped.

"All Ok in there love birds?" I heard Mrs Smith call as she came down the hall.

I quickly rearranged my clothes.

"Yeah all good Ma," Andrew replied sitting up as she appeared at the door.

"Oh; you're looking a little flushed Ann Marie."

"Yes, might be coming down with something. I only came over for a quick visit. I'll be off now Mrs Smith," I said, struggling to contain my frustration.

Had Ray been in the lounge when I arrived home I don't know what I would have allowed him to do. But he wasn't. He was up with Laura and my mother was cooking tea. I picked a fight with her and she accused me of being in a foul mood, which was the truth. I remained sullen throughout the evening.

---------

The following day, hair tied back and in work uniform, I arrived home late from my part-time job. Laura and Ray were in the lounge, watching a movie. It had been a blisteringly hot summer's day and my sister looked like a large, sweaty, beached whale.

"You're up for once," I said.

"To hot in that damn bed. Can you go get me a drink Ann Marie?" she finally replied, ignoring my barb.

"No!" I said bluntly.

"Oh you're such a bitch. Mum; Ann Marie won't get me a drink."

"Oh Ann Marie, get your sister a drink when she asks you. It's hot and she can't get up."

"That's it; side with her again," I shouted back, looking at Ray, who gave me a little raised eyebrow.

"What does that mean?" I thought to myself.

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