Unintended Consequences Ch. 02

Notes [Last revised October 15, 2015]:

• - We suggest reading the previous chapter of this series.
• - All characters are the product of the authors' imagination, and are 18 years of age or older.
• - Although this is a standalone series there are undisclosed details in Empty Nesters and An Unwitting Discovery.
• - We don't think there is a particular order to read these since the reveals make it more interesting in the order published. However, several readers have commented the order should be Unintended Consequences, Empty Nesters and then An Unwitting Discovery.
• - Special thanks to GrandTeton for helping make this story better by editing / proof reading it.

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I awoke with a start when the alarm on my phone went off. Adam was already out of bed. I could hear him in the shower. The alarm clock must have already gone off, I thought, as I turned off the phone. I headed into the bathroom to void my bladder. Adam was lit by the light coming through the sparkling privacy glass window above the shower tile. The sliding shower door was steamed, but his handsome form and refreshed morning wood were clear enough to me.

"Sorry for using the toilet while you're in there," I offered.

"Hey, no problem," he replied. "I'm just about finished but could be convinced to stay longer if you want to join me."

"I would love to, Adam. You already had me this morning and I don't want to make you late. This tour is very important to me. You know, they are evaluating you too, right?" I asked.

"Kind of figured they would be, but thanks for letting me know," he said, finishing up. As he got out of the shower, he clearly realized that there was no towel. "Hmm. I guess I'm the one who needs a towel this time, sis."

His cock was bobbing just inches from my face. It looked so nice and firm. The wetness simply added to its attraction and reminded me of last night. That all felt like a distant dream now.

Wiping myself and flushing, I told him, "I'll get you one; I know right where they are." Out in the main entry room, I located the box and found one of the two towels I owned. Life as a graduate student wasn't terrible; you just didn't have money for buying many extras. That meant I had one towel that'd usually be clean and another one that was being used or was dirty. I'd packed the dirty clothes in a plastic garbage bag, but didn't want to use the dirty towel.

Returning to the bathroom, I said, "I guess we'll have to share this one until I get a couple more." I gazed down at him as I handed him the towel.

"Turnabout is fair play. I did kind of ogle you when you were at Mom's and needed a towel in the bathroom," he said, watching my eyes.

"I thought it'd go down by now. I don't want you to be late, but showing up with a bulge might be difficult too," I said, as I knelt down to take him into my mouth.

"Oh, wow, Zane!" he exclaimed, reacting to the suddenness of my advances.

This was what he needed. Okay, I wanted to taste him again, but Adam didn't have a lot of time for sex. I worked him quickly in and out of my mouth, focusing all of my attention on the head. In less than a minute, I was receiving gushes of warm thick spurts. "Mmmm." I swallowed his salty but clean-tasting cum and continued working him until he fully relaxed.

"Fuck! That was so hot. I don't know how you keep making me come so fast. I'm going to get a complex, Zane."

"Adam, I don't think you have anything to worry about. This was only about helping you out before the tour/interview starts."

"Yeah, but the time you first touched me a couple days ago, I came right away."

"Well, that was in the morning too."

I knew I shouldn't have done it. He had been so hard and I'd wanted to feel it. Why had I done that? My guilt returning now, I said, "Adam, I feel so bad about that. It wasn't right of me to grab you without asking. I know the shock of your sister grabbing you like that was probably the biggest factor in you going off so fast. I never want to embarrass you or make you feel less confident."

"I wanted you bad. I couldn't believe it was happening," he said.

"Look, we can talk more, later. You need to get ready and go," I insisted.

Adam went to retrieve his bag. I hopped into the shower, deep in thought. The water made me relax a bit, but I was still pretty excited from giving Adam his relief. I decided I'd wait until he left to take care of myself. I didn't want to distract him from this goal he'd spent time and commitment to obtain. Selfishly, I wanted him to pick UVA. I wanted him to live with me. However, there was still an internal battle raging over what I knew and what I wanted. I needed to talk to someone. Who would be able to understand what I was going through?

Adam popped his head back into the bathroom. "Hey, sis, I'm going to go. I know you want me to get this right and I don't want to let you down."

"Adam, don't do this for me. You have to want graduate school to be about you," I said, with my voice echoing in the shower. I finished up and stepped out.

"Look," I said, grabbing the damp towel and drying a bit. "I don't know how you feel about it but going to graduate school is a very selfish activity. I know that now. I didn't before I came here. You have to commit to it. It's like a marriage or something, only you get to leave after four or five years."

"Hmm, I guess I see what you're saying," he said, finally. "So if I decide to go elsewhere, you're going to be okay with that?" he asked, somewhat dejectedly.

"Oh, honey. I desperately want you to go here. I simply want it to be for your reasons, not my lusty designs," I said, hugging him lightly and trying not to get him wet.

"Okay, sis. I've got it. You want me. You love me. You want what's best for me." Tears were appearing in his eyes. "I think you're what's best for me." He wiped the tears away and pushed ahead. "I'll try to use my mind and not my heart to make the best choice I can, alright?"

"That's all I'm asking, Adam. Make graduate school about you. If you happen to be here, at UVA, then we'll cross that bridge together."

He was hugging me fully now, not caring about the dampness of my hair or spots of water that remained. "I love you, Zane. I don't think you know how much," he breathed into my opening mouth as he kissed me deeply.

When we broke the extended kiss, I patted him and told him, "I know, Adam. I hope you know how much I love you too. You need to get going now."

When I heard the front door close and his truck start, I felt my heart racing. Adam was off to find his path and that might be UVA. I dug through another box to find some clothes to put on. Absently I took the remainder of the box and put the clothes into drawers. I unpacked a few other boxes. I realized what time it was when my phone buzzed.

It was a text from Adam. "Starting now. Text U l8r."

How had it gotten to be quarter past ten? Looking at the phone, I saw another text from Mom. "Hope everything is going OK for Adam. Keep an eye on him for me." She'd sent it last night. I started wondering how much she knew. Guilt was flooding over me again. I wondered if I could talk to her about any of this without outing us. I thought about all this and unpacked a few more boxes of clothes. Was I hurting Adam? I hung some items in my new closet. God, I loved him. I was nearly finished with the bedroom boxes. I'd become so wet, thinking about him now and very anxious for him to return this evening. My head was swimming.

I took a break and lay on the bed. The pillow smelled of him and I inhaled it deeply. Lust was clouding my thoughts. My hand went into my panties as I let my thoughts drift back to the night before. Dreamily I worked myself remembering his mouth giving me such pleasure. It had been so wrong but it'd felt so right. He knew how I worked, pushed all the right buttons physically and emotionally. He cared about me. I remembered how he'd picked up my vibrator at the old apartment and replaced it here between the mattress and box springs. Reaching for it now, I needed to feel it in me. Remembering how he'd made me squirt - just a little last night; that was the first time it'd ever happened. Then he'd made me gush earlier this morning. I worked the angle he'd used. In a flash I came with fluid rushing out of me into my hand, my panties and the sheets. I was trembling, thinking how Adam had kept sucking the fluid from me. I came again, my vagina contracting hard on the vibrator. I dozed off thinking of Adam.

I awoke around noon and checked the phone. No new messages. I changed my panties and went to the kitchen to see what else I could get done. The kitchen shelves needed cleaning and new paper on them. I found my few cleaning supplies in a plastic box. As I cleaned all the shelves my mind wandered again. Was I betraying Mom's trust? Wow, this one drawer was filthy. I rinsed the rag several times and had to change the water I was using when I finished that one. When I finished, I realized I needed to buy some shelf paper and drawer liners. I was also getting a little hungry.

Thinking about what I should do, I made a list of things I'd already discovered I needed; or, hopefully, that we needed:

• - Bath towels
• - Shelf paper / drawer liner
• - Scrubbing pads
• - Groceries
• - Soap and shampoo
• - Laundry pods

I wondered if my money was going to stretch to include any extras. I had some of the dry goods from the other apartment, but fresh produce and meat ate my lunch every time. It wasn't healthy to live on peanut butter and Raman noodles. I found myself thinking that if Adam moved in, some of the expense problems would be easier. His stipend, would be about the same as mine and we could pool resources. God, I can't tell him that. He's already trying to please me. I'm so messed up.

I pulled out my phone and texted Mom. "Hey, you busy? Want to get lunch half way?"

I went to get dressed again to go out. The whole time, I kept thinking how I might word what I wanted to say without giving away what I needed help sorting out. Perhaps, if I left out the sex part. Or maybe if I just talked about the sex part. Problem was, Mom was too smart. She was probably smarter than me and very intuitive. We dyslexics are like that. We spend so much time interpreting and reinterpreting everything that we see that it becomes like a sixth sense. We cue on context. Desperately looking for connotation, meant all kinds of things could be part of the context; any clue might lead to the correct conclusion.

Of course, as I thought all of these things, I was utterly convinced that I couldn't talk about it at all. That thought left me trapped. Maybe what I needed to do was some research. Where does one get research on taboo topics? Another dead end, I thought, though I was sure I could find plenty of reading material, but that wouldn't help me resolve my dilemma. Just then my phone buzzed. It brought me out of the spiral of doubt I'd worked myself into.

Mom's text said, "There is nothing between here and there. Why don't I come up and see you?"

Rather than playing text tag, I called her. "Hey, Mom."

"Hey sweetie. What's going on?" she asked.

"Well, I didn't want you to have to spend two hours driving up and back. I know you've got a bunch on your plate," I said.

After a long pause, she said, "So tell me your problem, Dear. You know you can always come to me. Is it school, or boys or my divorce?"

Her directness and patience was what I loved most about her. Mom and I always had a very open relationship. I had gone to her with all my teen problems. We never had that mom-teen conflict that happened in so many of my friends' houses, even though we were so much alike. She made sure that we didn't stop communicating. She gave me room to grow and let me be me. I was her oldest. We were friends. She tried to have us call her Katherine, although it never really stuck. She came to me to make sure I was using protection before I'd even had sex. I talked to her before I had my first sex partner. She was the best. Lots of people think their Mom is great. Mine really is. Her love for both Adam and I was unconditional. It was the main reason I'd thought to even take the chance of consulting with her.

Suddenly I was gushing tears. "You always read right through everything. I can't have any secrets. You know how hard that is sometimes?"

"Oh, sweetie. Why don't you let me come up there?" she replied.

"Because then you'll know what a terrible person I am," I sobbed. "Look, I'm sorry, I thought I could handle this, Mom. You know me too well, and it so embarrassing. I simply need to figure out another way."

"Zane, I love you. No matter what. There's nothing you could tell me that would change that. You know I have made many mistakes in my life. I wish I could have talked to my Mom the way you and I do." She always made it so clear she wanted to help. She never dropped any Oh, what have you done now, guilt on me.

I broke down. I knew she'd find out eventually anyway. "I slept with Adam," I whispered into my cell phone. A very long silence followed. I didn't know what to do; she wasn't saying anything and it seemed like minutes were ticking by. "Mom?"

Finally, she said, "I'm sorry, Dear. I wasn't expecting that."

More silence followed. My heart was racing, thoughts were spinning, emotions going completely haywire. I knew I'd pushed our mother-daughter openness to the edge and shoved it off. An eternity of silence. What must she be thinking about me? "Mom?"

Finally, she broke the silence, "I'm still here, sweetie. The most important thing I want you to know is, I still love you, Zane. Both of you. I'm merely trying to process this. I am kicking myself for not driving up there as soon as you texted. I should have come up so we could have done this face to face."

"I didn't want to tell you. I just knew you'd find out or just know, like you always do. I need help. I didn't mean for this to happen. The problem is I love him. I love Adam."

"I love him too," she said absently.

"Mom, I'm in love with him."

"This is so hard. Look. I am going to hang up for a while. Don't do anything crazy. I love you. I will call you back." She hung up.

I hadn't expected that. Well, maybe something like that. I was glad I hadn't met her at a restaurant. That would have been worse. However, right now, I was convinced I'd ruined it. The relationship we'd had was gone. She said she loved me, but clearly she couldn't talk to me.

I wondered how long it would be before she could talk to me again. What'd she mean Don't do anything crazy? I'd already done something beyond crazy. Minutes turned to tens of minutes. Nothing.

The waiting was killing me. What was done was done. How I felt couldn't change. The worst part was now I felt I'd betrayed Adam. My weakness let me out him. He didn't even get a choice. I'd ruined his relationship with Mom at the same time I ruined mine. My guilt flooded over me. I went in my room and laid on the bed. My crying was followed by a short but fitful nap.

When I awoke, I looked at the phone. No new messages and no missed calls. Now it was like 2:00 PM. Adam would be here in another couple hours.

I texted Mom, "I have to go to the store. Please don't call until I text you back." I was so worried she might call me at the store and I'd start sobbing all over again in public.

Everything was so fucked up. The divorce, the house being sold, my move, her move, Adam going to school, my roommate getting kicked out of school and me falling in love with Adam. It's like all the stars aligned against me (and Mom) at once. I could only guess how she was feeling. Why did I dump this on her now? She was retreating from life, too. She was going to move away. Getting away from here to have some sanctuary. Her move... I thought. What had she said that day? I might go live with your Uncle Dan for a while.

I needed to get stuff for dinner and finish unpacking. I knew I shouldn't drive, but the grocery store wasn't far and buying things might take my mind away from its current turmoil. The previous epiphany lingered in my thoughts as I went out to get in the Civic, and drove the six or so blocks to the store.

At the grocery store I refocused on my list. Working within a budget made me pay attention to each item I gathered. The cart began to have various fresh produce items and meat that were on special. I started search to see if they had some of the miscellaneous items on my list.

All the while, the thought kept running around in my head, though. There had been something peculiar in the way she'd said that. I might go live with your Uncle Dan for a while. Did Mom have a similar issue with Uncle Dan? They were nowhere near the same age, the way Adam and I were. I couldn't remember but it seemed like Dan was six or seven years younger.

Finding the drawer liners and shelf paper was no problem, but I couldn't find any bath towels. I settled for a six pack of hand towels that was marked down. Then I went on to the dairy aisle. I added some milk, butter, eggs and cheese to the cart. Finally, I got some ice cream. I had a feeling I might need some tonight. Checking out, I found I had stayed within my budget, just under $150. Feeling better about some things, I texted Mom. "Heading home now."

I arrived back at my little duplex apartment. As I brought in the first of the bags, I noted that the clock on the kitchen stove said nearly 4:00 PM now. A few more trips and the bags were all in the kitchen. When I finished putting the groceries away, I started working on the dishes and pans. There weren't many, but putting the paper on the shelves and liners in the drawers took some time. When I was all done, I felt like I'd accomplished something today.

Now it was nearly 5:00 PM. I realized now that I'd forgotten to get lunch and was really starting to be hungry. The pangs of hunger combined with my emotional turbulence to make my gut ache. I was starting to panic again. My busywork wasn't preoccupying me anymore. Why hadn't Mom called back? Anxiety peaking, I looked at my phone.

As if on cue, my phone started ringing in my hand. I nearly dropped it from the shock. "Hey, Mom. I was starting to worry." I was trying not to sound like I was still in a bit of a tizzy.

"Zane, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long. I had an interruption here from the lawyers."

"I'm the one who is sorry. I really didn't mean to dump this in your lap with everything else that is happening. The universe has played some nasty tricks on both of us recently."

"I was thinking the same thing, sweetie."

"Look Mom, before you say anything, I want to tell you that I feel like I betrayed Adam's trust telling you I slept with him. I simply didn't know who else I could go to with this."

"I understand dear. Sometimes women talk to each other when we shouldn't, but that's how we work, I think. Men internalize too much and we share too much. I know that's a huge generalization and it feels like an excuse as I hear myself saying it. My point is, you can always come to me with your problems."

"What were you thinking about me, Mom? I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now."

She was quiet for a moment, but then said, "Well, I was trying to decide - um - uh - if I should confide in you."

I knew it instantly. "You have feelings for Dan?" I asked.

"God, how did you know that?" she exclaimed.

"We dyslexics don't always read the information as written," I laughed lightly. The mood was immediately less gloomy but I rushed on. "I'm still having a lot of guilt and fear and doubt, Mom. I don't want to hurt Adam. I wouldn't hurt him for the world. What should I do? I have this apartment and he might be coming to UVA. I want him to come here so badly. It's selfish and wrong. Terribly wrong. He's falling in love with me. He's on the tour right now and -"