Unity and Destiny Pt. 02

"See? I said you were wise. I could retire, travel, hike, live somewhere new, make casual friends, and then move on again. But there's a thing about re-inventing yourself. It opens you up to questioning all sorts of things you thought you'd settled in your life."

Esther nodded, wondering where Selena was going.

"You, this whole group—you know things about me I never thought I'd share. If I still look youthful in thirty years, you won't care. And for all the platitudes I say at work, I've never felt as much part of a team as that day out in Utah, trying to rescue you. It's all very strange for me, Esther."

"You're part of our family, Selena. Are you asking if you can stay? The answer's yes. As long as you want. You'll always have a home with us."

Selena stared down at her hands.

"I wasn't really asking that," she said. "Or I didn't think I was. But that is a remarkable offer. The fact is, I need to leave in a few days, to take care of the responsibilities I dropped to come out here. But after that, I don't know. Like I said, I'm in a strange place right now."

Selena pulled her chair closer to Esther, and stretched out one arm, forearm up. It was the arm with the carefully obscured freckles.

"I'm asking you not because I mean anything by it, but because I'm most comfortable with you, and I think you might understand. This is an experiment for me, that's all. Would you touch my arm? The way you might touch a lover?"

She'd never seen Selena so nervous.

"Of course."

Selena closed her eyes, and Esther reached to hold her hand, steadying the shaking arm.

Javier was the one who would know how to do this. She imagined him touching her, on the back. Neither too gentle nor too firm. Feeling the muscle just a little beneath her fingers. She swept slowly higher, and Selena's hand jerked when she reached the hidden freckles. Up to the inside of her elbow, then back down, several times. Then she held Selena's arm between her palms for a few more seconds.

"Okay?" Esther asked. "More?"

Selena opened her eyes and pulled her arm away.

"That's fine," Selena said, not meeting her eyes. "Thank you. Please don't tell anyone about this. Not that you would."

* * *

Esther lay on her stomach, head turned and eyes closed. Javier kissed her again on the neck, then leaned forward, letting his dick press against her pussy. She pushed back slightly against him, but he slid higher along Esther's crotch, rubbing the shaft against her sensitive pussy, tickling her asshole with the head, enjoying what friction he could get in the shallow crease between her lightly furred buttocks. Tiny, a totally different from Kat. But he loved Esther's body. Maybe she'd feel like anal sex again today.

He rubbed her lower back, along the rough patches where she was so sensitive, and then he squinted.

"Hey," he said. "I think I see a freckle or two. Very pale green. Have you noticed that already?"

"Oh," murmured Esther. "No, not consciously. But you're right. I guess I expected they'd show up there eventually."

"I love thinking about how your body will change," Javier said. It was true. Who knew what unusual places those freckles would show up? Maybe she's get a really sensitive foot, or maybe the back of the neck where he liked to kiss her anyway, or—

Esther hadn't said anything, but he could tell she was tensing up. He'd said something wrong. Well, they'd talked enough about this. She'd insisted she would try to be honest.

"Sweetie," he said, rubbing her back. "Does thinking about that bother you?"

Esther was quiet for a while.

"I guess," she said. "But really it made me think about my body right now, the fact that we're not going to be able to have sex for a long time. Maybe ever."

"We have sex," said Javier uncomfortably. "All kinds of sex. And I love anal sex."

It was an old argument, but better to have in the open.

"Don't you miss it, though?" she asked. "Don't you sometimes wish I could be like Kat?"

Javier swallowed. He'd promised to tell the truth, too.

"Everyone's different," he said. "Maybe I liked that with Kat, but I liked other things with old partners, and we have our own things that I love. I mean, you can't have sex with me the way you had with Nicola either. I love sex with you because it's you."

That seemed like the wrong thing to say, too. And suddenly Javier had an insight.

"Esther. You stopped doing what you did with Nicola, all of it. You sort of explained it that once, but I thought it was a temporary thing. I probably should have asked. You miss her, don't you?"

Esther rolled over and pulled Javier into a kiss.

"You're smart, Javier," she said eventually. "Smarter than me about most things. I told Nicola about the pull of the sex in my visions, because it reminded me a little of what we were doing. I hadn't realized I was hiding it from you, but I suppose I was. And I think I finally know the reason. It's not only that I'm so pulled towards the sex in the visions. I knew how potent it was for the people involved, but I only felt the edges of that. But I know what I felt with Nicola."

"Oh," Javier said, stomach flipping. "Not because she's a woman. But because she has the Changes, and you were experimenting with feeling her senses."

"Yes, Javier," Esther said slowly, stroking his cheek. "I stopped doing that with her, but I think I fooled myself about the reason. I think I was scared of the idea that it would become so intense that I wouldn't enjoy sex with you enough by comparison."

Javier didn't know what to say. Truthfully, it was one of the most devastating things she'd told him. He knew he couldn't share that part of her life with her. But the thought of being shut out completely, or worse, denying her pleasure that she deserved with the right partner—

"Javier," she said urgently. "It's just sex, right? The way we always say. I love Nicola, but I want to spend my life with you."

"Yeah," he said numbly. "Me, too. But we can't really ignore this, can we?"

Esther sighed. "Maybe not. I don't know what to do with it, though."

"We keep talking," Javier said. "And maybe we take some risks, the way we talked about."

"Like, doing it outside again?" Esther said, and Javier smiled.

"Yeah. And maybe you should talk to Nicola again. There must be a way to experiment cautiously." He swallowed. "You two could still have sex the old-fashioned way, couldn't you? I don't want you missing out on something wonderful because we're both too scared."

Esther sighed and kissed him. "I love you, Javier."

* * *

"You're sure about this?"

Esther put her hand on Nicola's shoulder. "Javier and I talked about this. I need to understand what's happening when we share senses. I wish I hadn't waited until the last day. After all, Abuela did it with me, and she didn't give me warnings about it. Though she may not have had time."

Nicola nodded slowly. "It's like me with my abilities. You know it's possible, and you won't be comfortable until you feel like it's in your control. Well, let's give it a try. I feel like I'm really close to a breakthrough, Esther. Maybe you can figure out what I need."

"I'll be right here," said Javier. "I don't know what a problem would look like, but I'll do my best."

Esther took her place behind the stool Nicola sat upon. Javier hung awkwardly to the side, watching them.

Nicola began as usual with a few minutes of silent meditation. Esther moved closer, hooking one arm around Nicola, and slipping the other hand under Nicola's, where she held her quartz crystal loosely.

Swallowing nervously, Esther closed her eyes and Looked.

The swirling connections in otherspace filled her senses. Carefully she focused on the great glowing bundle corresponding to Nicola, and she allowed a few of the connections to grow stronger. She'd done this before, instinctively, but it was fascinating to watch it happen from this viewpoint.

She opened her eyes and pulled back slightly from otherspace. And all of a sudden she was overcome by the smells, the sounds, the infinitesimal vibrations Nicola could feel. It was clearer than ever, and she shivered with the feeling. Nicola made a small sound of surprise, and then a happy sigh.

Quickly Esther closed her eyes again, Looking farther into otherspace. The connections were closer than ever, but she'd lost the immediacy of her senses. The nearly sexual thrill was now just another beautiful series of strands between the two of them.

Opening her eyes again, Esther held part of her otherspace vision the way she was learning. And all the feelings returned, but slightly muted.

"It's safe," Esther whispered, stroking Nicola's stomach. "Relax, Nicola. I'm right here."

Nicola's breath deepened, and Esther felt her reach. This time Esther followed her, all the way into the depths of the crystal, the atoms locked in place but never still, a microscopic lattice interrupted by irregularities that produced the subtle variations in color and clarity. And she felt a portion of what Nicola felt: the rush of familiarity, the simple joy at the symphony of sounds beyond what any human ordinarily could comprehend. The longing to twine her own voice among the others.

Nicola was a virtuoso, but she was too terrified to open her mouth. And so Esther closed her eyes, following the connections, until her clumsy mind finally assembled something Nicola could try, something utterly safe, but requiring Nicola's far finer control. She tried to sing in her mind, to share it with Nicola, but it was a poor rendition. And yet it was enough to guide her friend.

Nicola breathed slowly, and then produced an exquisite sound, so soft that Esther almost thought she imagined it. But the crystal vibrated just so, the energy from the sound concentrating at the irregular seams within the crystal, enough to toss electrons briefly from their host atoms. And when they found their way back—

Esther heard Javier gasp, and she opened her eyes.

Nicola trembled in her arms, and then she did it again. For an instant the quartz flashed a brilliant, unearthly greenish-white.

Esther had lost her vision in otherspace, but it didn't matter. She was squeezing Nicola tight, and she kissed her friend on the cheek, stroking her arm.

Nicola was crying softly. "I did it," she said. "I did it, Esther. All thanks to you."

Javier grinned, putting his hands on both their shoulders. And then Nicola turned, kissing Esther hard on the lips.

It took her breath away. Her heart began to hammer, but just as she started to return the kiss properly, Nicola pulled away, embarrassed.

"It's OK," Javier whispered. "You two are beautiful together."

Nicola smiled at Javier, squeezing his hand, then turned forward and closed her eyes again.

This time Esther let herself retreat a bit more from otherspace. It was still there, dimly visible in her mind's eye, the tether anchoring her to herself and to Nicola's own view of the world.

And this time she felt from the inside when Nicola lit up the crystal, once, twice, and then a whole succession of flashes. She felt the warmth of her own arms holding Nicola, the pulse of their hearts beating together. She quickly pulled back to otherspace, and then she returned again.

It took concentration, but it wasn't so difficult to change her perspective like this. And where her senses joined Nicola's, it wasn't the mindless desperation she remembered from the dreams and the memories frozen in the canyon. But she wanted it. Oh, did she want it.

Finally, Esther drew herself back from otherspace, all the way into her body, letting herself enjoy the miracle of flesh and blood, the warmth of skin on skin, smell of Nicola's excitement and happiness, the feel of Nicola's nipples stiffening against the lace of her bra, the trembling of her hand atop Esther's.

"Oh, Christ, Esther," Nicola moaned, leaning back against her. She felt Javier's hands grip both of their shoulders more firmly, and so she pulled quickly back to otherspace, where she gently untwined her senses from her friend's.

She opened her eyes and leaned to kiss Javier on the lips.

"I think it's all right," she said softly. "It feels amazing, but it's not like the dreams. You OK, Nicola?"

"Yeah, Esther, I'm fine. I don't know what you felt, but I really, really wish you hadn't stopped. But, I mean, in the same way I really don't want Mark to stop once he's started licking my pussy."

Javier started laughing, and Esther felt a giggle struggling to escape. But this was important. She didn't want to get anything wrong about this.

Javier had a partial erection. And Esther had an idea. She reached to stroke him through his pants, and he gave her a shocked look, though a bit of hope flickered there as well.

"Nicola, would you like to take care of yourself? I want to try something with Javier."

Nicola blinked in surprise, but she nodded easily enough, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Looking right at Javier, she unsnapped her pants and slipped her hand inside.

Esther knew Javier ached to see more of Nicola. But Javier liked being teased sometimes, something Nicola doubtless knew by this point. Sure enough, he was fully erect in no time.

She guided him to the now-empty stool opposite Nicola, and worked his pants down until his erection sprang free. Then she knelt and began to use her hands and mouth the way he liked so much.

Javier groaned happily, and she knew his eyes were on Nicola. That was just fine. And slowly Esther felt Javier's solid presence beside her, so familiar that in her greatest need she'd instinctively called for him, not any of her more sensitive friends. She held his presence in her mind, and she Looked.

He was there, as familiar as always in the otherspace. And now she attempted to strengthen the same connections she had with Nicola.

It was much harder, but that didn't bother her. Distantly she felt her hands and mouth following their familiar patterns, and she continued to puzzle her way, strand by strand, until finally she was ready.

With a breath she pulled her senses well back into her own body, and suddenly the familiar smells and tastes and feelings were all there. Was there a whisper of Javier's arousal? A hint of the pleasure in his loins? She couldn't tell. Perhaps it was her imagination.

She pulled her mouth off with a last smack and kissed the end of his penis before standing up. Even with Javier sitting on the stool, she was barely taller than him. She kissed him on the ear, her nose pressed against him.

"Javier, I wish I could feel what you do."

He looked at her with such love that she nearly cried.

"I can't feel a goddamn thing except your mouth and your hand and your body," said Javier. "And that's more than enough for me. It always has been."

He was pulling at her, and before he'd gotten her pants and underwear below her knees he was already stroking her, across the back, and right along the slick smooth skin around her vagina. She shuddered and scrambled to grasp his penis again, and suddenly behind them she heard Nicola.

"Fuck," Nicola whispered. "Oh, shit, fuck—ohhhhhhh"

Esther dropped back to her knees, taking his penis in her mouth. In little time he moaned and spurted into her mouth, and she took him deeper, swallowing the way she liked sometimes. And even so, Nicola's scent filled her nostrils.

When Javier was finally through she finished licking him clean, and then she leaned against him, holding him tight and letting his softening penis rest on her hand, the way he liked.

Esther heard a sigh, and she turned to look at Nicola. The other woman was leaning back on her elbows, breathing hard. She'd gotten her pants off enough to give Javier quite a show. The freckles on her inner thigh glowed brightly.

A shiver went through her as she felt Javier pushing her gently towards the other woman. She looked in his eyes, and she saw this wasn't an easy thing for him. And that he still wanted it for her.

Slowly she stood up, taking a step towards Nicola. She didn't know what she wanted first. Nicola was staring at her with slow realization. And then suddenly she sat upright, struggling to pull her pants up. Esther stopped.

"God, I'm such a shit. I can't do this, Esther. Not without talking to Mark for real. Time for me to grow the fuck up."

Nicola wiped her eye angrily and got to her feet. "I'm so sorry, both of you. Esther, I'm going to go and meditate, but I don't think I'll try the new trick quite yet. Another time. Tomorrow. Oh, I'm going to miss you guys so much. Jesus, for my sake could you please at least go on fucking?"

When Nicola was gone, Esther felt Javier's arms encircle her. Warm, solid. He picked her up easily and laid her out reverently on the bed.

"It's OK," he said, undressing her with his gentle hands. "Not your fault at all. And even if it's not going to work, you got Nicola the breakthrough she needed. Plus, you learned something, didn't you? "

"More than one thing," Esther said softly, shuddering as his chin tickled the freckles between her breasts. She moaned when he slipped his fingertip unexpectedly inside her shallow vagina. Little circling patterns, touching nerves that felt freshly sensitive. Every week, a little different.

She reached back into the otherspace, gathering connections like bundles of wheat, tying, stretching, trying to imagine the taste of her sweat on Javier's tongue, the throbbing feel of his growing erection, the slickness of her own body as he slid it back and forth, back and forth—

As her body began to shake, she held her mind in place. Her eyes were open and the beautiful structure of Javier and Esther and the entire world threatened to burst her heart.

In the end it was too much, and she felt her mind flying free, trailing sizzling streams of orgasmic bliss. When she finally returned, Javier was still kissing her. She hadn't even lost the Watch. Her body ached with pleasure, and she wondered if she'd ever be able to hold herself through that kind of orgasm.

She couldn't truly connect with Javier's senses the way she had with Nicola. But perhaps it would change over time. Esther hoped it did, because she wanted this with Javier, more than anything. School was coming, and she'd be distracted again, so many things trying to take her attention away from where it belonged: Javier. It would be better, this time.