Unity and Destiny Pt. 09

"Hey, guys, do you recognize that bag?"

Kat sat up, looking. She shook her head in confusion. Grace didn't recognize it either.

He went ahead and unzipped it. It was mostly clothes inside, same as all their bags. Everything seemed as small as the shirt. He dumped it out on the floor, and the others came to join him. There was a small pad with some strange abstract drawings that seemed vaguely familiar, but he didn't see anything identifying. Just clothes, including some dirty ones. Some of them had actual dirt on them, as though this woman or girl had been scrabbling around outside like they had.

He felt weird pawing through these clothes, especially after Kat held up a tiny bra.

"I forgot they even came in this size," Kat said. "What a cutie she must be. Do we have a stowaway pixie in here? That could be all kinds of fun."

"Kat!" Grace said. "These might be a girl's clothes. Don't talk that way."

"No, it's a woman," said Kat. "Look at that sexy pair of panties. She meant business wearing something like that. What's your expert opinion, Javier?"

She tossed them at him, and Javier had a sudden bizarre flash. Underwear in his teeth, just like this. Strangely smooth skin, the taste of a woman he loved more than—

He brought the underwear up to his nose, hardly noticing Kat's cackles, and the smell was so achingly familiar, but it kept slipping away.

"Goddamn, you're selling it, Javier," Kat said. "I hope you have a chance to return those to the lucky woman."

What the hell was he thinking?

Grace noticed something in his expression. "Kat, stop teasing him. Is everything OK, Javier?"

He shook his head. "I'm still rattled, I think. And I guess these clothes remind me of someone, but I can't quite place it."

Grace nodded sympathetically. "I can't understand how they got here. Maybe someone left them behind, and we were so busy with preparations that we never noticed."

Javier nodded, though that didn't seem right. And on a hunch, he pulled out his paper and jotted down what he remembered about the clothes, what they reminded him of.

"Don't read this," he said, shoving the paper back in his luggage. "It's personal."

Kat nodded seriously, and then she attacked Grace, who started giggling. Soon Grace's perfect brown breasts we exposed, and she lay back, smiling contentedly. Javier couldn't help but look, and Kat knew he was looking. She took great care to give him an unobstructed view as she nibbled gently along Grace's torso, up the side of her breast, flicking her tongue lightly across her lover's nipple before briefly locking eyes with Javier.

His dick was rock-hard, but he looked away nervously, knowing Grace wasn't as comfortable with this sort of display as Kat was. But it was more than that. There was something missing, and it related to whatever was wrong with his memory. He'd just been thinking about it. He heard Kat and Grace whispering, but he kept looking for something. There were random clothes strewn on the floor near him for some reason. Small underwear, way too small for Kat. But Grace wasn't usually so messy.

"Do you want to watch?" Grace asked nervously, interrupting his thoughts.

Javier jerked, looking over at the couple. Kat had taken off her shirt as well, and Grace was down to just her panties. All of a sudden he just wanted everything to be over. Wasn't it over? They'd done what they needed, and saved the world. Didn't that merit some celebrating? And Christ, he wanted them both. Kat was kneeling on the bed in front of Grace. When she suddenly slipped a hand under Grace's underwear, Grace made a noise somewhere between a surprised cough and a moan.

Javier found himself walking towards the other bed in a daze, and he felt a warm relief wash over him. Things were complicated with Kat and Grace, as they always were. He knew he had to give Grace her space. But being a third wheel wasn't so bad, not if he got to be at least part of the action, from time to time anyway.

Whatever Kat was doing under Grace's panties was driving her lover crazy, and Grace sat up higher, pulled Kat into an unexpectedly aggressive kiss. Kat unsnapped her jeans with her free hand, waggling her ass at Javier. Then Grace's hands were all over Kat, pulling at her pants, finally getting them down far enough to slip her fingers into Kat's bald pussy.

"Fuck," Kat murmured, squeezing her legs around Grace's hand. She pulled away from Grace's kiss and put a hand roughly behind her neck. "You like Javier watching? You want to see more of him?"

Grace coughed again, rocking against Kat's hand, not quite looking at Javier.

Kat pulled her hand out of Grace's underwear, licking her fingers and gripping Grace harder by the back of the neck. Grace's eyes were locked on Kat's, the need obvious.

"Tell him, then," Kat said.

"Kat," Grace said uncomfortably, trying to pull Kat closer again.

"Tell him, and I promise you won't regret it."

Grace finally glanced at Javier, but Javier was distracted now. Something he was forgetting. It was like a phantom pain behind his eyes.

"I like it when you watch," Grace whispered, her fingers sliding along Kat's wet pussy. Javier nodded, smiling vaguely in a way he hoped was reassuring. Was he going to do more than watch this time? Why couldn't he focus on this fantasy scene, playing out right in front of him? He didn't really expect anything with Grace, not after that one failure, but Kat was another story, if things worked out right. He moved closer, right next to their bed.

Kat's fingers found Grace's underwear, pulling, exposing the thick black bush that Javier secretly loved so much. Grace groaned when Kat's fingers brushed through the hair, touching her once, twice, and then pulling away again. She licked Grace's juices from her fingertips, then plunged a finger inside Grace. Her lover gasped.

And then Kat pulled out, reaching to Javier's mouth. Without thinking, he opened his lips, tasting Grace on her finger. He stared into her brown eyes, heart pounding, thinking about that day, the feeling of thrusting inside Grace, the brief moment they'd shared their bodies. He didn't know what was going to happen this time, and it didn't look like Grace knew either. He felt Kat's hands on his stomach, and suddenly Kat was pulling off his pants, leaning over to take his hard cock in her mouth.

Grace was staring lower now, watching as Kat took inch after inch, until there was no more, her lower lip brushing his balls.

"Holy fuck," he muttered, because no one had ever done this. He'd only vaguely known it was possible. Kat massaged his ass and breathed deeply, squeezing his whole cock with her mouth and—throat?

"She's been practicing," Grace said, laughing nervously, glancing back up at him, her hand drifting lower on her stomach. "It—oh, God, this is so fucking hot. Do you mind?"

"Are you kidding?" Javier asked, managing a nervous smile. Grace nodded quickly, slipping her fingers into her bush, managing to look embarrassed as she masturbated, despite everything. God, this was what he needed. Get all the stress out. He didn't even care if he and Grace did anything directly, not when Kat was doing this magic. Maybe he could return the favor for Kat. Or maybe even Grace.

He put that out of mind before his body betrayed him. He was going to make this last, to forget about all the stress. Grace's other hand found Kat again, and Kat moaned into the base of his dick. He was suddenly reminded of Nicola, and he guiltily looked that direction. Well, if she and Mark wanted to watch, there was nothing stopping them. His dick twinged harder, and Kat finally began to move, slowly letting his cock out before taking it all in again. Maybe they'd even come join him. Like that night before they went on the mission, when he'd been fucking Nicola, and Mark had been with—Kat, that was it. God, what a crazy night that'd been.

Suddenly Grace gasped, and he locked eyes with her as she shuddered through an orgasm, legs closed tight around her hand. When it was all over, she looked almost embarrassed.

"Uh, sorry, I didn't realize—well, never mind. There's probably more," she mumbled.

Kat started to shake, and when she pulled completely off Javier's cock, she burst out laughing. "Damn right there's more. God, how many times did you come, that one night?"

Grace looked all the more embarrassed. But she'd opened her legs again, and now she reached to stroke Kat's ass.

Kat nonchalantly took Javier's cock in hand, stroking it with an easy expertise. "You need some attention, Grace? Maybe an extra hand, or three?"

Grace looked at Kat, then Javier, knowing what she was asking. "Uh, I'd rather keep watching. If you don't mind."

Kat laughed, standing up to finish undressing. Javier did the same, staring at her huge breasts, her slightly rounded stomach, her eager eyes, not knowing what she wanted. Wanting both of them, and Nicola too. He felt so fucking greedy, but there was an aching need, something he just couldn't seem to fill. He'd settle for his friends. Grace was masturbating again, using her other hand to brush one of her nipples, and Javier's hand found his own cock. Watching each other. Grace looked almost as desperate as he felt.

And then Kat was pushing something in his hand: a small bottle.

"Forgot the condoms," she said. "More's the pity. But I'd really, really love to feel that fat cock in my ass."

Then she was on all fours, eyes closed, waggling her butt gently. And Javier certainly knew how all this worked. He loved anal sex. He thought about all the times—but he was having trouble remembering. What the hell? Well, he'd worry about that later. For now, he got himself behind Kat, spreading the lube generously on his dick, on her. He wiped his hand on the sheets, and he felt a gentle hand on his back. Grace, behind him. There was the lightest touch, her lips on his shoulder, and he stiffened.

"This OK?" she asked, breathing heavily.

"Fuck, yeah," Javier said, and he leaned closer to Kat. Hands on her hips, dick just so, savoring the anticipation another few moments. He wished they could do it the other way, but next time. Everything was oddly familiar, and not familiar. Grace's hand was on his ass, and he shivered, reaching to stroke Kat's back, low, where she had the rough patches of skin—

Javier's mind was gone, flying somewhere else entirely. Something was horribly wrong. There was a hole in his memory. This wasn't—

He backed away suddenly, pushing Grace more roughly than he meant. His lube-coated dick bounced like it was mocking him, and he shook his head, trying to clear the dizziness, the strange sense of dislocation. Even as Kat turned to see what was wrong, Javier lurched off to the bathroom, wiping off quickly, splashing water on his face and staring in the mirror. What was he missing? What the fuck was wrong with him?

The pair in the other room were sitting together now, touching casually and looking concerned.

"Sorry," he muttered, to them, or to himself. "I'm forgetting something. You guys keep going." Javier pulled on his clothes and then fled the room.

* * *

Nicola answered the door, and she smiled at him. Javier didn't know why he'd come over here, and now Nicola might have the wrong idea.

"Too much?" she asked softly. There was more than a glimmer of hope in her expression, and he saw her glance guiltily back toward Mark. Raj was ignoring them, and Selena was presumably in the bathroom.

Javier tried to capture whatever he was missing, but it slipped away again, because Nicola was so beautiful. The two of them always gotten along so well, though it'd been something else again after that time in Oregon. And then that night, with all of them together in the bed. He even thought he remembered Nicola between another woman's legs, but surely she hadn't actually done anything with Kat or Grace. He'd have remembered that for sure. Nicola didn't like women, did she? It was all connected somehow, to the hole in his brain.

"How's Selena doing?" he blurted, trying to stop thinking about Nicola that way. He was getting distracted again. Like before, with the Mexican. And the after-effects? There had been something in his room. Luggage, that was it. He had to remember about that.

Mark sighed, glancing towards the bathroom. "She won't let anyone look at her," he said. "But she still says she'll recover fine."

Javier nodded vaguely, looking back at Nicola, grasping for something. The luggage. It was starting to come back, a little. If anyone understood not trusting their own mind, it was Nicola.

"Can we take a walk?" he asked her. "Just the two of us. I need to talk."

Nicola looked surprised, but she nodded.

Javier talked quickly when they reached a busier section of street. "Nicola, I'm going insane. There's a strange woman's luggage in my room, and I'm having trouble even remembering it's there. Everything's distracting me. The thing is, I have this crazy sense that I knew her well. That I even might have been in love with her. Could I have forgotten someone? Could we all have forgotten someone like that?"

Nicola wrinkled her nose, but she didn't laugh it off.

"All of us?" she said. "Like, someone we all knew? Someone who was actually with us on the trip?"

"There was something about the clothes," he said. "Shit, I've forgotten it again. Remind me when we get back. But she was very small, whoever she is. And, please don't laugh, but I recognized her smell. Isn't that the strongest sense connection to memory?"

Nicola nodded again, looking baffled. "This doesn't make any sense, Javier. But you're right. Other things don't make sense, either. I was just talking with Raj, asking him when he's going back to Stanford, and I suddenly realized I couldn't remember how he got involved with us at all. He's brilliant and all, but it just seems so strange. I didn't ask him, because that seemed incredibly rude. I hate to think the Mexican took away something as important as that memory, but it looks like you're worried about something worse."

Javier nodded. "Raj was working with Kat and me on breaking cryptography. Remember those number theory breakthroughs he made? I have to admit I didn't expect he'd join us, though."

Nicola squinted. "That's it. Of course. God, I'm all fucked up if I can't even remember basic stuff like that. I hope this goes away. What were you asking me about, again?"

Javier stopped. They'd gotten off track somehow. It was about something really important he'd forgotten. He suddenly remembered a weirdly familiar smell, a tiny pair of panties. Some ludicrous fantasy about Nicola.

He swallowed and plunged ahead. "Nicola, this is a serious question, not me being a pervert. Have you ever made love to a woman? Maybe a really small woman, someone we both knew somehow?"

She nearly tripped, staring at him.

"All right," she said unhappily. "How could you be thinking about that too? I understand guys fantasize like that all the time, but why would you have brought it up now? Yeah, a very small woman. Could she have had Changes? Beautiful ones?"

Javier's mouth dropped open, and he imagined a perfect blue nipple in his mouth. A spectacular, unworldly woman. This was it. This was what they'd forgotten.

* * *

"Your friends are trying remarkably hard to hold on to you," Abuela said. "It would be so much easier to do as the peacock would, and simply excise you from their minds."

Not Abuela. Never that. This was the Mexican, confusing her again. But she had to play along. She suspected even these little internal rebellions were something the Mexican found amusing.

"Why don't you, then?" Esther asked. "Since it would be easier."

The Mexican smiled her too-wide grin.

"Easier in the short run," said the Mexican. "Doing it the blunt way creates more problems to fix, problems that could take a very long time to resolve perfectly. But brains like to make sense of things, and pushed more subtly, your friends will find a way to explain the loose ends much more completely than I ever could. Thus I spend the extra effort now, to save much more later. I don't want to be distracted from all the work we have ahead of us. That peacock was becoming a fool, but at least he let me pursue my own studies without interruption."

She stood in front of Esther's chair, and this time Esther whimpered unintentionally, hating herself for it, hating the way the Mexican smiled.

"We will explore this otherspace of yours together, and I will extend my own vision so much farther. But first, I must break you of this tiresome resistance."

The attack shocked her as always, a horrible violation so much worse than anything she'd felt when Abuela had tried to break down her walls. Abuela had detested the necessary action, and had apologized profusely. But the Mexican was cruel, and perhaps not entirely human anymore.

Esther endured the attack, as she always endured, a tiny sliver of her awareness lodged in otherspace, weeping to see the pain the Mexican was causing her, the worse things she imagined the ancient woman was attempting to do to her friends. And subconsciously, from this tiny stronghold in otherspace, she pulled desperately, hoping to keep a few delicate threads alive.

Javier. She couldn't feel him, wasn't even sure he was near anymore. There was nothing but an empty room and Abuela's terrible strength. But she would hold on to him until the end.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean, someone picked them up?"

Grace shrank back against Kat, pulling the sheet up higher.

"Javier," Kat said, "Sit the fuck down and stop terrorizing Grace. What's wrong with you?"

Nicola pressed down on his shoulder, and he got the hint.

"Javier's going nuts about these memory problems," Nicola said. "And I think he's onto something. Those clothes, he was going to tell me something about them. Do you remember, Javier?"

He shook his head miserably. "They were a woman's clothes," he said. "Can't you guys remember? Like, the underwear? A small woman? Maybe someone we knew?"

Kat and Grace shook their heads nervously.

Grace swallowed. "All I can say is, some guy knocked on the door a couple times. I only answered because he wouldn't shut up. He described the bag pretty well, so we gave it to him. We'd almost forgotten someone left it there."

Javier sighed and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry, both of you. For some reason that bag was really important to me, but I can't even remember now. Everything's all fucked up. I should never have yelled at you, Grace."

"It's OK," Grace said. "It's just, you never do it."

"She's saying, if it was me, she could blow it off easier," said Nicola. "Why don't we go talk to the others."

"Wait," Javier said, retrieving a piece of paper from his luggage.

"What's that?" Nicola asked. But Javier was reading it carefully.

"I remember doing this," he said. "Remember, I said we should write everything we remembered? I've already forgotten some of what I wrote. And look at this last page, all the stuff I wrote about the clothes."

Nicola read over his shoulder, and suddenly he wished he'd read to the end first. Some of it was pretty explicit, like a familiar fantasy of his. But Nicola didn't comment on that. Instead she pointed at something he'd skimmed over.

"Look," she said. "You said a shirt was already out of the bag, and it was *on top* of something you'd worn. I bet that was what you were going to tell me."

He nodded.

"Right," he said. "It wasn't just that they smelled familiar. This is evidence she was actually here, with us, the way I thought. Nicola, you must have written one of these. Where is it?"

She shrugged unhappily. "Can't remember. Half of what you wrote here doesn't sound familiar. Like, the stuff about mountains somewhere near here. I should go find what I wrote."