Universes Where You're Banging Oh

Luckily for me—or maybe a little unluckily—I'd programmed my machine to jerk me back to 'reality' after six hours. The artist Chad had a pretty good life, but I didn't know about retiring there. I fixed the bug, but it gave me an idea.

I'd been lucky so far, but jumping into other realities without a clue as to how to get along there was dangerous. The first time at bat, I'd ended up in a post-apocalyptic dystopia. I could've used that Chad's skillset.

So—to condense even more work, almost insultingly so, as if you didn't appreciate me 'fixing the bug' enough in the first place—I figured out a way to somewhat duplicate what had happened in the error. My consciousness would get into the other Chads, but I wouldn't retain my muscle memory. Instead, that subconscious accumulation of skills in their bodies would apply to me as well. If I leapt into a gunslinger, I would be as good with guns as him. If I leapt into a poker player—well, how much would it apply? Would I know the rules of poker? Would I have all this insight into probability and psychology, but no idea how to apply it?

And I was also curious about how far the machine could go. So far, I'd asked it comparatively simple things. All things being equal, what were the odds that instead of being a Hollywood actress, Scarlet Johansson would be a supermarket check-out girl? Pretty good, I'd say. After all, so many aspiring actresses never got their big break, there must've been an infinite—well, a more infinite variety of universes where she was anything but a celebrity.

So the mere fact that we were both American put us in each other's orbit, so to speak. I wondered what would happen if I asked the machine for someone really out there. It was a flip of the coin that ScarJo and I might've ended up moving to the same town—but what were the odds that I would go to Korea, or a Korean would come here?

It helped that, while breaking from modifying the machine, I'd seen pictures of Oh In-Hye's famous dress and become slightly obsessed. You know the one—the Korean actress with stupendous breasts, shown off on top, on bottom, and on the sides by an orange dress that basically left her bare from the waist up, except for shoulder straps and flaps of fabric that draped themselves over her nipples—not much else. It seemed virtually impossible for there to be any circumstances where me and a woman halfway across the world—make that fully across the world—would ever meet.

A suitable challenge for my machine's 2.0.

I set the coordinates and booted it up...

***

Chad heard someone speaking to him in Mandarin.

He looked around in shock. He surely wasn't in Kansas anymore—the buildings were of the famous Asian style, with multiple pagodas and shrines replacing the architecture he knew. Despite that, the lay-out and scenery of the area was the same as the town he knew—there were trees in the same places, boulders, the roads were laid out the same. Even the cars were mostly the same, the auto industry being what it was.

He turned about to face the man addressing him and was shocked again, twice this time. First, that he could understand the Mandarin as clearly as English—score one for the machine. And second, that he was being addressed by a white man, but with his hair cut in the chonmage style and wearing a sort of samurai armor. Ceremonial, certainly, but it was strangely modernized—done in olive-drab colors, and with medals set into the metal at certain junctures.

"Cadet Chad, are you ready to make your school and your teacher proud?"

"I guess," Chad said, too shocked by the fact that he was speaking Mandarin to be too articulate in it. What was up with this Sliders bullshit, he wondered? Was it a world where Japanese imperialism—or possibly a Chinese dynasty, or even the Mongol Horde—had conquered the world instead of the British Empire? Perhaps this was a world where Imperial Japan had won WW2, going on to defeat the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany when the Axis inevitably turned on each other, and then bringing its revived samurai culture to America?

He looked around again. In his own world, he would've been smackdab in the middle of a shopping outlet, but it had become the courtyard of what looked like a temple—one of those kung-fu academies like in every martial arts movie he'd ever seen. He noticed people milling about—a great many of them were Asian, though he noticed Hispanics, African-Americans (African-Chinese?), Caucasians... Maybe here, Asians were the majority—perhaps they'd been the ones to conquer the Native American tribes, leaving Caucasians just another minority immigrant group in the Americas. So much for white privilege.

He faced his—sensei?—again. Whoever he was, the guy was scowling. Chad guessed that his alternate self wasn't such hot shit around here. What'd he been called—a cadet?

"This city has only been recently conquered from the Wu-Shan," his sensei said imperially, stroking a black goatee. "The locals are grateful, but there may yet be enemy agents among them. Accept whatever honors they bestow upon you to maintain good relations, but be wary of these recent initiates into the Que-Pai. Patrol with honor! Do your country proud!"

"Righto. I mean, sir, yes sir!" Chad cried, hoping that translated right into Mandarin. He wasn't really aware of speaking it, but he could hear it in a way. It was as unconscious as speaking in a high voice after taking a lungful of helium.

His sensei accepted the acknowledgment with a grunt. He pointed to a map on the wall. "Refamiliarize yourself with your patrol route! Do not deviate from it for any reason, unless you are acting in an official capacity!"

Chad checked it out, his weird mental universal translator turning the Hiragana into English—though the street names were still things like 'Flowing Pavement of Promise and Virtue' or 'A Thousand Steps of Comfortable Housing.' He was familiar enough with the area to get the idea. Sicario to Ranch Road to Peyton Boulevard and so on, one big circle that would take him back to the dojo.

"Now, choose your weapon!" the sensei ordered, gesturing to a weapons rack also on the wall.

"Don't I get any armor?" Chad asked, feeling he would be relying on that way more if he got into a fight.

His sensei glowered at him. "You are wearing it, Chad-san!"

Chad looked down. Oh yeah. He looked like Snake Eyes or something, wearing form-fitting ninja-esque garb with built-in body armor, all very light. He was a modern-day ninja! And while there were no katanas on the weapons rack—Chad guessed those were family heirlooms, personal weapons—there was a sweet-looking naginata. Chad picked it up and resisted the urge to take a few practice swings. But it was totally boss.

He almost saluted to his sensei, then gave him a bow instead. That at least seemed to mollify the guy. Then he set off on patrol—of a conquered enemy city in Japamerica.

Machine, you have not let me down.

***

The patrol would almost have been boring—it was quiet as hell. But the combination of the strange reflection on his own familiar surroundings and theorizing about just what had happened made Chad feel like a tourist at Disneyland. Even seeing a Coke machine in this new universe was a strange and exciting experience. Apparently, you could win a set of panties if you bought the tenth Coke in a row...

There were not many people on the streets. Most of them were Asian, so Chad took it his guess about racial demographics had been correct. Though given he was a samurai or something, he guessed the discrimination against gaijin had loosened somewhat.

Perhaps that was what had enabled, in this universe, the Japanese to be so successful. A loose imperialism, like ancient Rome had practiced—requiring conquered tribes to pay tribute and serve in their legions, but otherwise practicing acceptance or tolerance. But there was clearly some cultural hegemony going on. The place didn't seem big on Native American culture, after all. So maybe they were fine with foreigners and women so long as they followed the code of the samurai?

Scratch women-he didn't recall seeing any back at the dojo. The guys had gone to all the trouble of conquering the world and they'd recreated English prep schools. Shame.

"Soldier!" a woman called, jerking Chad out of his thoughts. On the next turn he was to take, there was a woman in a red qipao, the hem cut high on her thighs to show off her long legs. It was Oh In-Hye alright. Her cherubic face, her dollish hair, and a keyhole cut in her brocade showing off that famous cleavage.

If there was one thing Chad couldn't resist, it was a sure thing. "Hello—citizen," he said, drawing up to her.

"You are one of the Que-Pai, correct?" she asked. She was speaking slowly, taking her time to make sure what she said was right.

"Yeah, I'm the Que-Paiest."

"I was just wondering... what happens if I see one of your fellow soldiers doing something that isn't... moral?"

"You mean illegal?"

"I mean immoral."

Chad planted his naginata in the ground and leaned on it. "What are we talking about here?"

In-Hye whinged girlishly. "You must understand—the Wu-Shan were very bad to us. There are many women here who have either lost someone to them or been mistreated themselves. And now you come in... so handsome in your uniforms, so brave in liberating us... there are many grateful sisters and daughters!"

"Oh?" Chad asked, leaning a little harder on the naginata.

"Yes... they give your soldiers... release. I don't want to get anyone in trouble... but is this acceptable to the Que-Pai?"

"Oh yeah," Chad said. "Very acceptable. Totally acceptable. But... I don't think we're talking about your sister or your daughter."

In-Hye bit her lip. "My name is Oh In-Hye."

"I'm Chad."

"Perhaps... if it's not too much trouble..." She lowered her voice. "Chad... I want you."

She put her hands on his chest, as if steadying herself, then ran them downward. Her fingers sought out all the right places to turn him on. And it was obvious that she was getting through to him.

"So many men conscripted to fight in the Wu-Shan's wars," In-Hye said, her fingers lightly working over his crotch. She felt his immediate response through the fabric. "Leaving none to make us wives, nor to treat us as women should be treated... now that you're here... perhaps I can at least practice being a good wife?"

"Practice makes perfect," Chad agreed. He surged into her, his arms around her back. She kissed him almost as strongly as he kissed her, and they spun in the circle of each other's arms. Her fingers fumbled as she hastened to run his zipper down its metallic track.

She quickly unbuttoned his belt and helped him strip his pants down to his ankles. Then, holding his heavy balls in her left hand, she closed her other around his thick shaft and started jerking his cock up and down.

Chad grunted with pleasure. He could tell by the way she handled his cock that she'd be good at giving head too. He watched as In-Hye's sweet tongue came out of her mouth and licked his cockhead. She ran her tongue down his shaft to his balls, and he hissed with incensed need as she sucked them into her mouth one after the other.

In-Hye rolled his testes from one side of her mouth to the other—coating each with her saliva, releasing them wet and dripping.

"Suck it!" he said huskily. "Suck the knob!"

Happy to oblige, In-Hye ran her tongue back up his cock and began kissing and licking the fat tip. She could only resist a few moments before she opened her mouth and popped the bloated head between her lips. She actually chewed on it, biting just hard enough to stimulate him, then pulling herself off his cock with a loud slurp to suck his rampant erection in all over again.

Chad trembled as he watched her rosebud lips at work.

Now In-Hye sucked all of his cock into her mouth. She took the full length, slowly gobbling up his manhood until his balls touched her chin. Her throat muscles closed on his cockhead. She milked him with her throat, thrilled at the way he trembled with pleasure. Then she slowly pulled her mouth back until she had no more than his tip in her mouth. In-Hye began bobbing up and down on his shaft, sucking hard each time she pulled back to his knob, the right ring of her lips gripping his throbbing muscle tightly.

Abruptly, In-Hye slipped off his erection. In-Hye had been throwing herself at his cock so hard that she'd overbalanced on the downstroke and slipped onto her ass.

Chad didn't waste any time letting her recover. He straddled her face, pumping down into her mouth, and she realized her loose throat was taking his thrusts with swallow after swallow. His teeth grinded over her as he soaked up the pleasure, his hands tightened in her hair, and In-Hye tasted his precum.

"Tongue my cockhead," he ordered. "C'mon! Make me come! I know you want a taste!"

No. She didn't.

She needed a taste.

She put her hands on the muscular vee of his lower abdomen, holding him still as she sucked on his cockhead, sucked it like she was trying to pull it off with her throat muscles, priming it. Then she collapsed her mouth on his crown, tongue pushing at his slit, lavishing it in a sloppy kiss, pushing her very need and want and desperation through his shaft and into his balls, where her creamy reward awaited, where he had what she needed, she wanted it so bad!

Chad growled. "God, you want it! You sure want it! Here... it... fucking Christ!"

He came in sudden bliss, throwing his head back, eyes wide as his ejaculation burst like a firework at the end of a very long, whistling flight. In-Hye tasted him everywhere, all over her mouth, down her throat, throughout her very body. He had so much cum.

She swallowed, feeling like she was sucking it out of him, making him give her more, because he just kept coming. On and on, wave after wave, and still In-Hye swallowed, a loving little pump. All that mattered was that she could keep feeling this good, this warm, this pure so long as she swallowed what he gave her. And she did. Until there was none left.

She felt leaden and feverish in the pit of her stomach, where all of him had gone, and she loved it. Her little inner potbelly of cum, where she kept all the pleasure she had given him. It was hers now. She'd earned it.

Chad got up off her, leaving In-Hye's very breath tasting of cum.

"First cum to the Kunoichi School," In-Hye moaned succulently.

"Kunoichi?" Chad asked.

In-Hye looked up at him. "You mean you didn't realize? Oh, your school is more pitiful than I expected! Look around you, fool! You've just given us the first token in this contest."

"Contest?" Chad murmured, looking around as In-Hye had told him.

Now that he wasn't distracted, he could make out gentle moans, an occasional cry of delight—all very subdued, very erotic. He had to strain his eyes, but he could see black-clad bodies all around. There were those dressed like him, just with differently colored headbands, and then there were women as fit and as beautiful as Oh In-Hye. They were scattered around like the aftermath of a battle, only it was like the battle was being fought with sucking and fucking.

At the building nearby, a woman's back was pressed hard against the wall. Her legs were wrapped around the waist of her lover, and he was pumping into her with the vigor of a teenager.

"Deeper, deeper, I want that prick of yours all the way up my cunt!"

"Think I'll come that way? No, not until you come, then I'll let you have it so hard, it'll come out your mouth!"

"Good! Then I can suck on it too! But it'll be limp by then—"

The moans were almost lost amid the sounds of their young bodies smashing together. Chad stared as a huge cock pulled out of the woman's cunt and then disappeared back into it, labia lips parting pinkly, then clamping down again as if sucking it inside.

"And you thought me a simple village woman!" In-Hye smirked. "I hope you enjoyed that, Chad. Now that you are disposed of, I think I will help my sisters solicit more cum from one of your comrades!"

Chad got it now. This was some kind of war game. A live-fire exercise. Not testing fighting prowess, but sexual skill. And he'd blown it—literally.

Well, the whole body-jumping thing might've been a little sleazy, but no way did he want to leave some alternate universe him worse off than when he'd gotten there. His one chance was afterplay—given the mores of an Imperial Japan, there was a chance that they simply weren't as well-versed in sexual techniques as your good old over-sexed American would be.

"We're not done yet," he said, falling on In-Hye, rolling her over onto her back and ripping away the hem of her dress.

In-Hye was surprised, but also pleased. She knew she ought to discourage him, but it was so rare to find a ninja who bothered with sex once his lust had bloomed. She spread her legs. "You think you can make me come with your mouth? I doubt you could do it with your cock. Let's see what that tiny tongue can do."

Chad crouched in front of her. She looked down at him as he moved his head between her thighs—running her fingers through his hair. And In-Hye purred with pleasure as his hot lips touched the sensitive skin along her inner thigh. His teeth nipped the soft flesh, wet tongue fluttering over the bite marks he'd just put there, and she opened her thighs wider, exposing the pink of her pussy.

"Don't tease!" she hissed. "Give me your mouth before I get bored!"

His tongue brushed the sparse hairs of her brush and she felt his hot breath on her wetness. Chad pressed the flat of his tongue between her outer labia and slowly dragged it upward. She groaned, feeling his tongue tap her clit, and spread her thighs even wider.

Now all of her was exposed to him, her ass squirming on the ground as he burrowed his face between her legs. Her cunt was flooded, and she quivered just hearing the noises he made devouring her. Her clit had become a stiffened little spike, and she nuzzled it closer to his desperate mouth.

Her fingers grabbed his ears, her hands pulling his face firmly to her sex. She gazed down with wide eyes, watching with disbelief how his tongue worked on her pussy. She pumped her ass up and down, fucking her cunt on his face.

"Oh yes!" she groaned. "Eat me! Eat that pussy! Stick your tongue deep! I like it all the way in! Feels so good! Oh yes, wiggle it around—that's wonderful!"

He ate cunt like an expert, knowing how to use his tongue and teeth, drive her wild, torment her clit. She cried out with lust as the bone of his chin met her pussy, her eyes fixed on her own lust as her belly rose and fell, his head moving up and down to rub his mouth on her swollen wet flesh.

The slick sucking sound he made drove her wild—she could feel his tongue all the way inside her. It was so good, and he seemed to love doing it. She looked away—saw two ninjas pumping into one Kunoichi, one filling her cunt while the other fucked her up the ass. It looked exciting enough that she might want to try it—try to win two tokens at a time.

In-Hye sighed and rubbed against the concrete under her. Her ass felt twitchy, begging for more than the rough ground against it. She thought of hairy thighs pressing firmly into her ass, a hard cock searching for her asshole. Finding it. Then that cock driving hard up into her bowels, fucking her, giving her a pleasure she'd never known before as her virgin tightness compelled a male token for her school.

Now Chad pressed his mouth hungrily to her clit. Pursing his lips, he applied awful suction to her button until she was shuddering and moaning. He chewed the flesh of it, nibbling and massaging her labia lips with his mouth until she thought her pussy would explode. And it did.