Unwashed Shorts

Tie the knot

I didn’t think I could do it but here I was. Closing in on 39 years of life in the next few months, I decided that I needed to plant my feet firmly on the ground and make a change. I have the most amazing girl you see and I didn’t want to keep making those same mistakes like I’ve done in the past that have caused me to fall victim to remaining stuck in the same old tired out position for my whole entire life. There were two souls in this equation, and I was destined not to get tripped up this time but to rise up and succeed where I have failed so many times before. Getting down on one knee, I, your ever so humble Grateful Fred, made the decision right then and there, for better or worse, to, dare I say it, yes I dare, to tie the knot.

Guess what happened next fine people? – Success. The next time you see me I’ll no longer be wearing Velcro.

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Mooral Sex

She wanted more she told me and who was I to deny. I looked across at that beautiful face of hers with white stains still around her mouth as she smiled that smile of hers. She had just taken down every last ounce from my brother and still she wanted more. She told me that she just had to take me down whole and not leave a drop. She wrapped her sweet hands around me and brought me to her lovely mouth. I couldn't control myself as I went with the flow around her tongue deep inside her throat. As I felt myself being swallowed, my last thoughts were how good it is to be milk.

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Work Sucks

She made that decision in her office that she'd go out in a big bang. She reached down and pulled out her lethal weapon that she always carried with her. She'd shoot herself right in the mouth just like in the movies. It would be messy but why the fuck would she care. She lay back in her chair, as her finger was poised on the trigger. Nervously her hand shook as she stuck the weapon in her mouth. Suddenly the door opened, but it was too late, she was beyond the point of no return as she shot herself point blank in the mouth. The next day her boss fired her and said that was the last she-he that he was ever going to hire.