Us & Then

"Yeah, I am looking forward to it. I have to call my band and tell them."

We are watching the tube that night. Some silly show. My mind is not on the TV. It is reminiscing on the two hours I had spent with Celeste. We go to bed at our usual time, me tossing my clothes in the laundry basket. As I am drifting off to sleep with my hand wrapped around Sarah's breast, I am thinking sweet dreams of Sarah. And Celeste.

A couple of days later, I am working on a project in my workshop. Sarah calls me on the intercom and says she wants to talk to me.

"Sure. I'll be right there." I come to a stopping place and go into the kitchen. I stop cold. Uh oh. She is holding those panties.

"What are these?" She demands. The blood drains from my face and it was getting difficult to breathe.

"Uh, uh." I stammer. "I, um, found them." Well, it was the truth.

"I thought something was up when you came home the other day but I couldn't put a finger on it. Now, I know. You are having an affair, aren't you? Who is she? What happened to the trust we had?" Her eyes are swelling up and she is starting to snivel.

"Aren't you going to say anything???"

What could I say? What I was saying to myself was 'Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh man. Oh shit. Oh fuck.'

"I'm sorry. This girl desired me and I wanted her too much to resist."

Sarah screamed, "You wanted her? You wanted her? Didn't you even think of me!? What about us?!!? How many times have you betrayed me!!??" I'm unable to say a word.

With that she cries her way into the bedroom and slams the door. I am still standing there, dumbstruck. I sit down. I can't move. I stay there hours as the sun goes down. Silence. Tick, tock, tick tock. My mind is rushing around to all places. Dark. Tick, tock, tick, tock. I can't maintain a coherent thought. Tick, tock, tick, tock. I hear the bedroom door open. Sarah comes out with a suitcase.

"I'm going to stay with a friend." She says angrily as she walks out the door, gets in her car and peels away.

My home turns into a house. A very lonely house. Later a process server knocks on the door and hands me the papers. The judge says that, he is awarding Sarah eighty percent of our assets. Well, that leaves me with just about nothing. I call Celeste and tell her the news. She says she is very sorry for me and proceeds to tell me all about her new boyfriend. How he does this and how he is that. I listen half heartily while sinking back into that puddle. No. Not the puddle of love that I evolved into back when Celeste would smile at me at Gerty's. No, this is a nastier one. One full of despair. Void of hope. Lacking in love.

***

Ooh. I don't like that ending. I guess that vision was, as has been said by a much better author than me, 'It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.' Ok. I don't see how that is going to work. I suppose if it wasn't the panty incident, it would have been something else. I can imagine a spouse of thirty years would suspect something was up. I have experienced the transformation of Sarah when she becomes attracted to someone. I also believe that, if she took her interest to that level, I would know. Maybe not. I do know that even though I desire and love Celeste dearly, I cannot betray the trust and love that Sarah has for me. I suppose, though, if Sarah and I developed an open, polyamorus relationship, then I could enjoy being intimate with Celeste. Only, of course, if she were amenable to that idea.

Conclusion:

Celeste said she loved me! So, what do we have here? A fifty-nine year old happily married man loving/lusting over a beautiful twenty-five year old woman who, after saying those three one syllable words, has not communicated in months. "Wud up, Dud? Ya stoopid or sumthin'?" Yeah, it is sinking in. It is 'otherly' love. The 'He is the kind old man who takes care of her problems at work' kind of love. That would probably be the only way to recreate the magic that we had. The safe environment of the public work place where the reason for contact is business and just enjoying each other's presence. Celeste and I had worked together two years and I thought she was special and she made me believe that she thought I was special in her life. Where would we have gone if I had realized what she meant to me and told her personally what my reasons for leaving in a timely fashion? Where would we have gone if I didn't feel the need to get out of Gerty's? What ifs that will never be answered..

A voluminous body of work has now been entered and cataloged into my Library Of Love. All about Celeste. The only collection that is larger in my synapses is Sarah's. A long time has past since Celeste spoke those three magic words that have affected me so much. I have come to the realization that I will probably never see her again. Every so often I visit my library and dwell on the memories I choose. I will never forget that smile. And the look in her eyes. Tonight we are going to another concert event at Gerty's. This time the theme is 'Humanity's Impact'. I wonder if I will see her there...

Epilogue:

Negotiations with Helen ended after my band broke up over 'creative differences'. I found new people to play with and Helen said that, maybe, when we get our act together, we can talk again. No, I haven't seen hide nor hair of Celeste. Still think about her every so often. In my travels, I see other women who remind me of her. They are very pretty but are not Celeste. About six months after I gave my notice, I get a call from Cheryl. Remember that person who won't be mentioned except at that time? He has to be mentioned again. Cheryl informs me that he was found passed out in one of the studios one morning, drunk with meth paraphernalia strewn around, and it sure looks like it was he was the one who smashed the equipment. The police are called for the fourth time in Gerty's history. Cheryl also asks me if I want to come back. I say you betcha. I missed working there. Like I said before, I have a passion for Gerty's. They expand my duties, even give me a modest raise. Six months later, I am in one of the studios and have my head buried in a mixer fixing it. I need to solder a switch. In reaching for the iron, out of the corner of my eye, I see Cheryl and a gorgeous woman in the recording booth talking. I have to look and her eyes catch mine. Beautiful eyes. She smiles at me. Wow! What a smile! I smile back at her as my heart is fluttering. Can you say jelly? Well, it turns out that Angelina is a new employee who focuses on...

Finis