Valentine's Day Don'tsbyGoldeniangel©
Author's Note: As requested by a reader =)
Every year we face an over-commercialized and extravagant holiday that about half the U.S. abhors. No, I'm not even talking about Christmas. I'm talking about Valentine's Day... also known to some as "hell day" or "singles awareness day" or "that day that I hate most of all throughout the year because it's stupid and pointless."
Well, if you do happen to be celebrating Valentine's Day, there are many pitfalls for the menfolk to avoid. A reader asked me to do a How-To on what NOT to do on Valentine's Day, and I requested help from friends to make a list of mistakes men have made.
Presents are always a big part of Valentine's Day, especially now that it's become so commercialized. In just about every story there are racks and rack of heart-shaped candy boxes, red Hallmark Cards and kissing Teddy Bears. However, no matter how much you think your honey would just loooove that heart-shaped box of cheap chocolates at CVS, don't buy a woman on a diet candy. Seriously. It just shows that you're really not paying attention to what's going on in her life. Now, if you can find some low-fat, low-sugar, low-carb candy that actually tastes good, that's something different. In fact that's rather sweet. But in the presence of gift-giving, a woman would probably appreciate some romantic time with you... possibly going out to eat or a candle-lit home cooked meal. Flowers. The kissing teddy bears really are kinda cute. Or think of something original. But if she's on a diet, stay away from the things that are going to tempt her will power.
Valentine's Day is also about love to a woman. Now, some of you are probably sitting there going, "Why should I make all this special effort to show her I love her on one day of the year?" Good question. Start showing her every day. I'll approve and I'm guessing she will too. If not, at least try and make some effort on Valentine's Day. All her other friends are getting all these great, thoughtful gifts and attention from their partners... don't make her wonder why she's sitting there with you and not someone who would give her that kind of attention.
Back to the love thing, Valentine's Day is NOT about sex. It's about intimacy, sharing, loving... which sex CAN be a part of. But it is NOT a requisite. Do not demand. Do not think that this is going to be the one day of the year that she will do all the nasty things in bed that she is unwilling to do for the rest of the year. It is not. She will still not do those things and if you expect her to do those things it is not going to go well. Going along with this, porn is not usually a valid V-day gift. Throw it in with something else if you really want to give it to her.
These little gems from a reader were just priceless and I'm going to put them in as is: "just because her butt is shaped like a heart she doesn't want it pierced with your arrow"; "singing "why don't we get drunk and screw" is not romantic, even if you leave it on her answering machine."; and "do not give her the lingerie that you bought off the stripper and the gentleman's club last night, even if the auction raised money for charity."
Now men make many excuses for why they don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day. We've already gone over why, "But why should I go all out on this ONE day?" doesn't work. You SHOULD make her feel loved all the year long (and she should do the same for you), but as I'm guessing life doesn't work that way for any of us, at least on Valentine's Day we have the reminder that we should show the love. Saying that it's too much work implies that you don't care that she'll be the only one sitting at her office desk without flowers, hearts and candy. You don't care that she'll be feeling alone, unloved, and stupid because her man couldn't be bothered to do anything for her.
And, trust me, she will probably start to wonder why she's with you if you're so unappreciative. Especially if she went to effort to do something sweet for you.
"I forgot" or "I didn't know" have to be the two most pathetic excuses ever, unless for some reason you have not left your house for the past month and a half and seen the hearts festooning every store imaginable. You are obviously lying, and hopefully she will dump you just for having such a pathetic, uncreative excuse.
"My last girlfriend didn't make a big deal about it..." hopefully if you use this excuse you are not talking to someone you really care about. Cuz she will almost definitely be out the door. Never ever compare your current girlfriend to a past one, unless you're telling her how much better SHE is. Especially around Valentine's Day.
Now, obviously, as with all my how-to's, the women should reciprocate. Contrary to belief, Valentine's Day is not all about the men giving to the women. However, I have noticed that women get very enthused about getting their men things for Valentine's Day - even if it's just a sexy piece of lingerie that is quickly taken off (and how many men complain about that, seriously?) and men are not so enthused. Forget the commercialization and remember to share your love with each other, because that's what this holiday is truly supposed to be about. And don't forget to share love with your friends and family too, no one says that love only has to be romantic.
Hopefully this helps, and if not, hopefully you were amused by reading some of the (Very TRUE) mistakes men have made.
Happy Valentine's Day.