Valerie Ch. 01

Her hand moved painfully slow, and by the time her hand reached just below my breasts, my nipples ached to be touched. I wanted to feel her hands on me, and I couldn’t wait any more. I could feel the heat building between my own legs as I anticipated her touch. I shifted my position, and lowered myself into her hands. She inhaled long and hard as I moved my leg over her crotch, and her hand rested on top of my bare breast. She didn’t move for what seemed like hours after that, until finally her finger began to brush itself back and forth over my stiffening nipples ever so lightly. I took a deep breath as her fingers grew bolder and began to tease my nipples more boldly.

Her crotch again began to press into my leg, and this time I pressed back, by opening my legs further apart and pressing directly into her. Her fingers were now lightly stroking my aching nipples, and her pussy was constantly pressing hard into my leg. Her breathing was becoming erratic, and it seemed as though she would cum soon. I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Val.” I whispered. My throat was dry, and my words seemed to cut out, but as soon as I spoke, she stopped moving.

“Val, are you gonna cum soon?”

She didn’t answer, and I could feel her skin get hotter against mine. I opened my legs further, pressing harder into her, and placed my hand over hers on my breast, encouraging her to continue.

“Val?”

I rolled myself towards her, and firmly placed my leg between her legs. Her hand remained loosely clutching my breast. I reached around behind her and pulled her hips into my leg. Her eyes opened, and she looked directly into my eyes.

“I want you to cum Val.”

I pressed my leg harder into her, and she quickly started to hump my leg again. Her fingers pulled at my nipples, and I could feel her wetness coating my leg as her pussy slid against me. Finally, I felt her body shake and tense up against my own. She gasped a long sigh, I felt her juices flood my leg, and I knew that she came.

When her breathing returned to normal, I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight. Her hand was still playing with my nipples, and I knew I needed to cum myself.

“You’re turn” Val whispered. I didn’t say anything as her hand made it’s way from my breasts, down my belly to the edge of my panties. She sat up and rolled me flat on my back, still holding my one leg between her own. Before I knew what was happening, her fingers had slipped down my panties and were slowly caressing my pussy. My head was screaming that this was wrong, and everything in me told me it should stop, but I just let it happen. I wanted it to happen. Her fingers were incredible, as if they knew right where to go, and in seconds, I had several of the most powerful orgasms I had in my life.

Immediately after, the reality of what had occurred hit me hard, and I got up and ran out of the room, locking myself in the bathroom. As soon as soon as I flipped on the light, I caught my reflection in the mirror, and I started to cry. I couldn’t look at myself. I couldn’t look at either one of us. I was disgusted with the way I had acted. I felt like a whore, and I hated my sister and myself. How could I have done such a thing? It was as if I had no control over myself, and I hated that feeling. I hated that I could be so out of control, so I sat on the floor and cried. Valerie had made an attempt to get me to come out, but I just screamed at her. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but it was something along the lines of her making me sick, and I hated her and never wanted to see her again. I didn’t feel any better that I had said those things to her. I blamed her for what we had done, when I knew that I was to blame, but it just seemed easier, and made more sense at the time to blame her. I hated for making her feel the way I did.

The next morning I woke up on the bathroom floor, right where I had cried myself to sleep. When I came out, the house was empty. There was no sign of Valerie, where she had gone, or when she left. My bed was made, and my things were put away. I felt horrible about the way I treated her, and desperately wanted to talk to her and make things better. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I felt that I had to say something. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t blame her for what happened. I thought we should probably try to sort things out and try to make sense of what happened. It was either that, or forget about it completely, and pretend it never happened. That would have been just fine with me, except I didn’t think it was possible.

All day I felt dirty. I just couldn’t believe that I had done those things with my own sister, but what scared me the most was that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What scared me the most is what I would do when I saw her next? I didn’t know if I would yell, or avoid her, or worst of all, submit to my true feelings and let it happen again. I felt sick to my stomach, and spent the better part of the day vomiting and crying. The anticipation was killing me. I needed to talk to Val, and I had no idea where she was. When it got to be late at night, I started to worry.

She got home around 10:00 p.m. and found me out on our back deck smoking a cigarette. We saw each other through the sliding glass door, and she hurried up the stairs and into her room before I could stop her.

I went to her room and opened the door. She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Hi” I said quietly. “Where were you all day?”

“What do you care?”

“I was worried. I didn’t know if…”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you Val. I just…”

“Look, forget it okay. There’s no need to explain.”

“Val, please. I don’t blame you for what happened last night. I know it was my fault. I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

She looked at me, and It looked as though she was about to burst into tears.

“That’s just it. You don’t get it. I’m really glad to hear that you don’t blame me for what happened.”

“No, I don’t. I blame myself…”

“What’s the difference? You can blame who ever you want. It doesn’t matter.”

“Look, I’m sorry I said all those things to you last night. I didn’t mean any of it. I was just…”

“Just blaming me for what happened. I get it.”

“Val, I…”

“Don’t you realize what happened last night? It wasn’t something that just happened. It wasn’t a mistake. It was you and I finally admitting to each other how we feel about each other. Finally doing what we should have done long ago, but you don’t see it that way. You see it as something that should have never happened, and all you want to do is figure out whose fault it was. Well you can blame who ever you want if it will make you feel better, I don’t really care.”

“Is that what you really think? You think that what happened was okay?”

“I did, until it became abundantly clear that you were sickened by it. By me.”

“Val, what happened was not normal. It shouldn’t have happened at all. We’re sisters, not lovers. We can’t do things like that with each other. It’s not right.”

She got off the bed and started pacing the room.

“Why not? What happened? Did the world turn upside down because we got each other off? What is so terrible about what we did? What has changed since last night? Everything seems to be exactly the same as it was the day before, except now you hate me.”

“I told you, I don’t hate you.”

“No, you’re just disgusted by me. Listen, you do whatever you have to do to forget about what happened. I’m sorry that I did this to you.”

“I told you, I don’t blame you, and I don’t hate you. I just hope that we can forget about what happened.”

“Forget? I can’t forget. You just don’t understand. What happened last night was more than just some stupid mistake. I’ve wanted to do that forever. I wanted you to love me my whole life, and now that I finally got what I wanted, you tell me it was a mistake, and should never of happened. But I feel so much better that at least you don’t blame me for it. I love you. I always have, and you just can’t see that. I love you, and who is it that says I can’t? Who are you or anyone else to tell me who I can or can’t love like that? Who says it’s wrong and shouldn’t happen? I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I can’t forget.”

I was completely speechless. I had no idea that my sister felt like that at all.

“Val, I had no idea…”

“Well of course you didn’t. I’m sure if you had known what this really was, rather than just some alcohol induced experimentation, you’re whole attitude would be completely different. That’s what hurts me the most is that up until this very moment that’s all this was to you, and you can’t even handle that. Now that you know what it really is, I’m sure you really hate me now.”

I didn’t answer her for a few minutes while I gathered my thoughts. Val was sobbing softly. She sat back down on her bed, clearly waiting for me to respond.

“On the contrary Val, it’s just the opposite.”

I walked over and sat down next to her.

“I never thought of it like that at all. I was just confused. I didn’t know you felt like that. I didn’t know I felt like that either, until last night. I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I was afraid of what I was feeling. Truthfully, I liked it, and I thought it was wrong. I was worried that it might happen again, and because I would have wanted it to, not because you made me. I love you too Val and I don’t want us to destroy that.”

She looked at me with her eyes full of tears.

“You don’t have to say that. I know you don’t mean it, but thank you. At least I know that I mean that much to you that you would go against what you really feel to make me feel better. I know you love me, but I don’t expect you to love me the same way I love you. It’s just something I’ll have to deal with. I’m sorry.”

She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to smile as convincingly as she could. She threw her arms around me and hugged me.

“I’m sorry I did that to you. It was selfish of me, and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Val please, listen to what I’m saying. It’s okay, I want this…”

Val smiled and hugged me again.

“No, you don’t.” She laughed through her tears. “Just the thought of having sex with another girl freaked you out before last night, let alone your own sister. This is not what you want, and it’s okay.”

“But Val, last night was…last night was incredible. I never felt anything so amazing. I don’t want to forget what that felt like.”

“It was just sex. Anyone who knows what to do could have made you feel that good.”

“No Val, not that. I mean, that was incredible too, but it’s not just that, it’s everything. It’s you, and the way it’s been lately. I love you. I love that we are close, and if we can be closer, than I want to be. I didn’t realize it until now, but I know that’s what it is. I don’t care if it’s wrong. Last night was the most incredible thing in my life, and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

She looked at me and smiled, but before she could speak, I kissed her hard on the lips. As soon as we touched, everything just felt right. Every trace of doubt and guilt that I had been feeling was gone, and I was feeling nothing but love for my sister. I hadn’t recognized what this feeling was before, but now I knew what it was, and I never wanted it to end.