Valerie Ch. 02

"Exactly!" Giggy exclaimed. "I was the same way. I preferred strong women who would set the pace and make sure they and I got what we needed. Then I met Rachael, and it seemed so perfect. I think it was our 12^th roll in the sack when she tied my hands to the bed with my own stockings. I knew I should be terrified and cry for help, but it felt so right. Of course, by then we knew each other very well and I trusted her totally to not hurt me. After a night to remember, we talked until well after dawn."

The waitress came up with their order. They waited until she left again and Rachael picked up where they left off, broken only by the occasional bite of dinner.

"You see, I had already been in the lifestyle for a couple of years. I had had a series of one night scenes with people I met at clubs or on line personals. They were fun, but it didn't feel right. My last anonymous scene was a disaster. The sub wasn't really a sub and showed up at my place with her boyfriend. They ended up beating me, tying me up and raping me. Rape fantasies may be fun for some, but the real thing sucks big time. I tried to go to the police, but once they found out I was into BDSM, they treated the whole event as consensual. As if everyone in the lifestyle had freely consented to any mistreatment by anyone."

"Oh my God!" Valerie was appalled and shocked. Someone had actually experienced what she was partly fearful of about this whole thing. "How could you go back after that? How could you trust anyone again?"

"For a long time, I couldn't. I left the scenes and dating altogether. But I found a good counselor who didn't treat me the way the police did. I learned from her that trust has to precede sex, not follow it. Once I started dating again, I looked for people who would let me learn to trust them first, before moving into sex. That's how I met Giggy."

Giggy picked up from there. "I was in an intimate relationship with someone else when we met. Rachael did not want sex up front, but we both loved monster trucks. Going together helped fend off those horny guys who thought all girls going to rallies did so to get laid. We became friends first. By the time my lover had broken up with me, over Rachael no less, we were as close as sisters. She sat with me though several crying bouts that would do a romance movie proud. Several months later, we both realized that we were in love and the rest is history. We've been together for six years and playing regularly for five."

Valerie felt herself tear up. "That's so lovely. I'm happy for you both. Is this how it works all the time?"

Rachael laughed, "Not really. There are couples whose stories are similar to ours, friends first, then lovers, then players. But there are a lot who got together initially for the scenes, or who do what I did at first and play with anyone they can find. It's easier to play safer these days. There are clubs where you can hook up for a scene on site where the dangerous ones can't afford to go. A lot of the personals, both print and online, have the same problems. You can't know what or who you're getting. Most players though, are safe, or at least as safe as their style of play allows."

"What do you mean, 'their style of play'?"

Giggy piped up, "There are lots of different ways to play. Some only want the bondage part. Others like the submission role playing. Others are into the pain aspect. There are even some who go to the edge and involve actual hurting, sometimes to the level of blood being drawn. You have to know what style a prospective partner wants before you start. If two people want the same level of play, it will be good for them, no matter what the level. If two people are mismatched, someone's in for disappointment or worse."

"We don't want to scare you," Rachael said, "but you do need to know that your safety starts with you being smart. From what little you've said about your first time, you've been less than smart by agreeing to a scene with someone you barely knew. You were lucky. He seems to want you to play smart and check him out. That's good advice."

"I know. I was thinking with my pussy last Saturday. But it felt so right at the time. It still does."

"To a certain extent, we all have to trust our gut. When we're doing a scene, Giggy's levels of comfort can be different from the last time. Our instincts let us know how far to go and when to stop or slow down. She's used her safe words several times in the past, sometimes for things that she took in previous times. Did he use safe words that one time?"

"Yes, though I didn't use them."

"That's a good sign. He is willing to play safe and he seems to have a Dom's instinct for a sub's limits."

"Giggy, have you ever wanted to be made to do something that you didn't actually like? I mean are there things that don't turn you on normally that do when you're forced?"

She waited until the waitress had cleared their places and refilled their drinks before she answered, "Yes. I don't want to go into details, but it happens. I'm still not sure how to explain it or why it works that way. I've heard the theories and I'm not conscious of fitting into any of them. I just know that there have been times when Rachael has had me in tears because what was happening was so repulsive to me, yet I was turned on by it and actually reached orgasm from something repulsive."

"You were in tears and she didn't stop!"

Rachael took over, "Let me see if I can put this into words. When we play, Giggy chooses to give up a lot of power or control to me, knowing that I may do unpleasant or painful things. Sometimes I think she wants me to force her to go beyond her own preset limits." Giggy nodded vigorously. "That's why we have safe words. They allow the sub and Dom to go places they couldn't go if they relied on only the external reactions. So she can be bawling and begging me to stop, but I know, since there was no safe word, that she really wants to be forced even farther than we've gone. It took me a year to totally trust Giggy's willingness to use her safe word when it was needed. Now I trust that implicitly. The only things that I'll stop for now are her safe words, my own limits of comfort, and if she passes out. That happened once. She had gotten the flu and it became systematic in the middle of the scene. Her stressed body passed out before she realized what was happening."

Rachael asked, "Have you been experiencing desires for things you don't normally like?"

"Yes." Valerie hesitated to tell the couple just what that was for fear of offending them.

"Was it to be forced into lesbian sex?"

Embarrassment and shock covered her face. She avoided answering for a few minutes by getting out her card and signaling that she was ready to pay. Once they were alone again, she answered, "Yes. I'm really sorry."

Rachael reached over and took her hand, "You have nothing to be sorry about. We've talked enough to know you're not repulsed by us. That you aren't thrilled with our version of sex isn't an insult, it just is. Both of us are repulsed by the idea of sex with a guy. Does that insult you?"

By now, Val was crying softly, "No. I just don't want to hurt you two. You're such nice people who are helping me through something hard."

Giggy reached over as well, "I'd like to think we're nice people too. So are you. It speaks volumes that you were so concerned about hurting our feelings. I think we could become close friends if we kept in touch."

"Yeah. Me, too. Can I ask some more questions?"

"Fire away."

"Why pain? I mean, why was pain such a turn on that one time? It wasn't fun but it was erotic. How can that be?"

Giggy answered, "I think it's different for different people. For me, the pain is how I know I've given over control. I could never ask Rachael to hurt me. But by allowing her to do so when she wishes I let her know, and me as well, that I have truly given up control to her. There have been a couple of times when I wasn't in a place where I could give up that much and I safe worded at the pain."

"And I respect that," Rachael continued, "Each day, our comfort levels change about everything. Some days I can watch CSI and not get sick to my stomach. Other days, I know I'll lose it if I even see one of their dead bodies. It's the same with playing. We're not always ready and able to go so far as on other days."

Giggy picked right back up, "That's why you have to be able to trust your instincts as well as those of your Dom. It's better to safe word too early than to let it go too far and get hurt emotionally or physically. By the way, the emotional hurts take longer to heal."

Valerie sighed. "I guess the last question is where do I go from here? I want more. I know that. I'm not sure where to go. Do I go back to Charles? I've done some research on him and, while a very private person, he has a reputation for honesty and integrity in business. There doesn't seem to be anything about him and the lifestyle that I can find on the internet."

"I'm not surprised by that," Rachael responded, "While we know that being into BDSM is not a sign of a depraved mind, the vanilla world out there still has misconceptions. If you want to know how he plays, you'll have to talk to some of those he plays with. If he goes to clubs, that'll be a little easier. If he only plays in private, then you may have trouble there. A rep for honesty and integrity is a good start. Most untrustworthy people can't keep up an honest front for very long. I should warn you, though; the lifestyle can be somewhat protective. You'll have to earn the trust of the club goers first if you expect them to talk about a prominent member. The fastest way to do that is to show that you're into the scene. That would mean playing with someone on site at a club. The only part of on site play that will be dangerous for you is your novice status. You likely don't have the instincts yet to know when to stop."

"Oh God! I wouldn't even know where to start. How do you go to a club and let someone know you want to play?"

"There are several ways. Rachael and I sometimes go to clubs to pick up new techniques and ideas. Some of the play is in public as opposed to being in private rooms. You can show up wearing traditional sub accoutrements with no date. That says you might be looking for a scene. If you want to be really brazen, there's one club that allows subs to auction themselves off for charity. It's done up like a slave auction and the winner gets to play with the sub, on site only, unless agreed to otherwise, for the rest of the night. If you're looking to build trust within the community, that would be the fastest way to do it."

Rachael was watching Valerie while Giggy talked and noticed that she had become visibly aroused during the description of the sub auction. She discreetly motioned for Giggy to keep quiet for a moment as Val wrestled with her feelings.

And wrestle she did. Valerie couldn't believe how fast her pussy responded to the idea of being bid on by who knows how many men for the right to use her any way they wanted. This was such an incredible turn on. That arousal warred with the fear. A total stranger! Anything he wanted! How could she think about such a thing? But it gnawed at her. She wanted this. She wanted to know what such submission was like. The more she thought, the more aroused she became (her toys were going to get a workout tonight). Realizing that she had made up her mind before Giggy had finished, she asked, "What club and on what night?"

"The Mephisto Club. The slave auction is every fourth Saturday. This Saturday is the next one. I take it you're interested?"

"Yes. I'm frightened and aroused by the thought at the same time. Does that sound weird?"

Giggy laughed, "No, that sounds normal, for a new sub."

Rachael, more serious, said, "I don't think you should go there alone. It can be overwhelming. If someone sees that you're alone and a novice, they might try to pressure you to leave for the scene. We don't want that to happen. Come by the store at 7:00. We'll be getting off and will accompany you there and make sure you get home afterwards. Take a cab. You'll not likely be in a condition to drive and you don't know us well enough to accept a ride home from us. Oh, you'll want to wear something scandalous under a coat and bring a change of clothes for the trip home. Finally, it will be much more intense and fun if you don't have any sex of any kind between now and then. A desperate sub is a more responsive sub," she finished with a smile.

"I can't thank you both enough. You've been so nice and helpful. Thank you, thank you. I'll see you both at 7:00 on Saturday."

The date made, the three left the restaurant and headed their separate ways. With the admonition about saving herself for the auction, Valerie found herself needing a cold shower that night. Friday passed in a blur of work. The shooting of the ad did not finish until 4:00am, but it was finished. She slept until 1:00 in the afternoon Saturday. She tried to get a few chores around the house done, but was too hyped up about the evening. She ended up watching TV until 5:00 and then spent an hour getting ready.

She decided to do scandalous to the max. She put on a deep red lace bra, matching panties and black stockings held up with a garter. Throwing on a trench coat she wore for rain, she was satisfied that her nearly naked attire would not be visible until she took the coat off. In a book bag she had received from the Literary Guild, she put in another pair of panties and bra, a pair of jeans and an oversized t-shirt with a frog on the front that was saying, "I asked for greenbacks and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

She called a cab at 6:00 and arrived at Castle at 6:45. She went inside to wait for Rachael and Giggy. Both were dealing with male customers. She caught Giggy's eye and went over to the lingerie area to pass the time. It was an interesting experience. Victoria's Secret had nothing on these guys. Some of the items could not really be called underwear, clearly being intended to be seen, not covered up. She would rate all of them high on her drool scale. As she expected, the most erotic were not the ones that were the most see through, but the ones that allowed a guy's imagination to work at full speed and left riches to be discovered later. She might have to pick up a few things for herself later.

She had lost track of time and did not notice Rachael's approach until she commented, "I'm kind of partial to that one." She was pointing to leather swim suit like garment that looked like it would barely cover someone's crotch and only the bottom half of her breasts. Rachael was wearing one just like it along with a leather skirt and a light jacket. Giggy, standing next to her, was wearing a tank top and mini-skirt. It was obvious that Giggy had no bra on and Valerie suspected that she had no panties on either. There was a collar around her neck and cuffs on her wrists that could be fastened together, much like the ones that Charles had used on Val before.

"Are you ready to go?" Rachael asked.

"Yes, butterflies and all. I'm nervous and anxious and excited and afraid all at the same time. I suppose you'll tell me that's normal?"

Giggy laughed, "Yes, it is. You're going to have a wonderful time, you watch and see. We've already called a cab; it should be here any minute."

The three headed out to the parking lot, leaving the guy and girl that had replaced the two lovers to mind the store. The cab was there. They piled in, Giggy in the front, Valerie and Rachael in the back. Giggy dealt with the instructions on where to go while Rachael talked to Val.

"I wanted to give you a heads-up on what to expect. Once you present yourself for the auction, they'll have you fill out a form. It's part release from liability for the club and part guidelines for the bidders. There'll be a section where you'll check boxes next to the types of play you want to be involved in. It's sort of a rating system from 'yes, bring it on' to 'don't even think about it.' There is one special rating you should be aware of. Using it means that you don't like, but would enjoy being forced. From our talk Thursday, there may be a thing or two that you might want to rate that way. Also, I don't know if you've thought about it, but men are not the only ones to bid. And not all the bidders are singles. Couples can bid as a single unit, allowing them to play with you together. Do you think you're up to that?"

"I don't know what I'm up to, really. It didn't even cross my mind that a woman might bid on me. I suppose the only way to prevent that would be to mark lesbian sex as 'don't even think about it?"

"Yes, though most will avoid bidding on a woman who expresses significant uneasiness with the idea."

"On the other hand, being in the hands of a woman dominant who could force me to please her is incredibly erotic and terrifying. I have no idea how I would react in such a situation. I might freak or I might have a truly horrendously exciting experience. I wouldn't want to ruin someone's night of fun because I didn't know my limits."

"In the end, only you can make that decision. My advice would be to think back to your fantasy thoughts and let them guide your selections. Usually the things that arouse you in your thoughts will arouse you in your play. There are exceptions, but as a rule that's true. Now, once you fill out the form, you'll be taken to a cage near the stage and put on display so that the bidders can see what they're bidding on. You'll have some say on how you're displayed, but you'll be there for a couple of hours, so make sure that the display you want is something you're willing to spend two or more hours in. Do you have any questions?"

"Once they're purchased, how long do Doms usually keep the subs for play?"

"I've seen it as short as thirty minutes and as long as three hours. They have to finish by three, so longest case scenario would be five hours if you go early and are kept until time's up."

"How does the club monitor the private rooms to keep things safe?"

"They don't, actually. The safety comes from the fact that all users of the rooms have to sign in with ID. So if you're hurt in some way, the police have the identity of the person. They also have a blacklist of people who have a record of ignoring safe words and using auction slaves in ways that are contrary to their submission forms. There has not been an incident at Mephisto's in over three years. Duke got himself banned from the club for that one. That's why he's forced to troll sex shops trying to catch the unwary."

"That's reassuring. I guess I'm as ready as I can be. What are you and Giggy going to do while you wait for me and my immersion?"

"I like that; Immersion. It does describe exactly what you're going to do. We're planning on renting a private room while you're on display and then watching some of the public play until you're done, or rather, until whoever is done with you." Rachael said with a smile.

"You two have fun."

They were quiet for the last five minutes of the drive. Giggy paid the fare and tip, and then the girls entered the club. The last thing Valerie expected when she walked into what was essentially a sex club was a trio of disco balls spilling multi-colored light over the place. There must have been a hundred or more people in a wide variety of dress and undress milling about the floor. The doorman greeted them and asked, "Are any of you lovely ladies entering the auction tonight?"

Valerie licked her lips and answered, "Yes, I would like to enter myself."

"Have you ever been auctioned here before?"

"No, this is my first time, though my friends have told me a little about how it works."

"Okay. We do need to have you talk with one of our guides. They're going to explain how the auction works and assist you with filling out the submission form. Depending on what you've experienced before, there may be some terms that need explaining. Your friends can be with you up until you've signed the form and are put on display. If you'll step over to that table over there, Betty will help you get settled."