tagHumor & SatireValium Girl

Valium Girl


A good friend of mine Tommy was getting married out of town, in Nashville. His mother lived in the posh Belle Meade section and was in the social elite, so she arranged for out-of-town guests like me to stay with a neighbor across the street, the biggest house I have ever been in.

Well, as it worked out, I was the only out-of-town guest to stay in that mansion. What I did not know when I took my suitcase and my stuff over there was who lived there. Tommy's younger sister Laura who was also a good friend I'd gone to college with--her best friend lived there with her invalid mom.

Though I'd never met Laura's best friend, I felt that I knew her from all the stories Laura had told about her, and she sounded like a wild and sexy gal. Well, Laura had "arranged" for me to stay at her friend's house so we would have plenty of "opportunity" together.

That was certainly nice of her to make sure I got laid, but Laura did not know that I'd already made plans with another gal, the truly fabulous Lois that I also knew from college who was going to be in Nashville at the same time staying at her dad's, who would be leaving for a golf tournament the day I arrived.

So, when I first went over to the mansion with the keys Tommy's mom gave me, all I knew was that an invalid woman I would never see lived there in one wing. The old house was a monstrosity—similar to Tara in Gone With The Wind—and devoid of people but for the invalid. I was thinking of all the places Lois and I would have sex—the curving staircase was especially appealing--and how great this was.

Then I came back across the street and saw Laura, was introduced to her friend, who informed me that she lived there and "we would have the whole place to ourselves for as long as you're in town."

Now, based on all of Laura's stories, I had a different mental picture of her friend than what she was in person. She was not bad looking, but she just did not do anything for me, and she had that demeanor of a person who has done way too many drugs and alcohol for way too long, and, of course, I had the to-die-for Lois on my mind.

So, basically, what it boiled down to was that I got a free and convenient mansion to stay in, in exchange for fucking a broad to whom I was not at all attracted that was primed to jump my bones.

OK, so I had two sure things, Lois that I wanted and Laura's friend that I didn't and was my official date for all the wedding festivities.

I called Lois and made arrangements to see her in the late evenings, which was fine since she was a night owl anyway.

After the rehearsal dinner, Laura's friend, who was already beyond trashed, and I go back to the mansion about 10:00 PM. She says she needs to get more relaxed, so I fire up a bowl of sensimilla, but that wasn't enough, so she washes down a few 10 mg Valiums with Southern Comfort, then clicks on the TV news while we wait for them to take effect.

Shit, I just wanted to get this fucking over so I could get to the real fucking with Lois! By the time the Tonight Show comes on, she's taking her clothes off and lying back in the bed. Like I said, she wasn't a bad-looking gal--a nice little butt, cute C-cup boobs, somewhat stocky legs, skin whiter than a vampire, and a boozy face—but she just didn't do anything for me.

I had already undressed, hopped in bed, and started kissing her. Again, not bad, but I just did not really like this girl. She gives me a decent BJ, I eat her very wet and very big pussy, then she pulls me up onto her, and I start fucking her missionary style. She's obviously liking the hell out of this, though she was not "fucking back" at all, and I'm just doing my job and watching the clock out of the corner of my eye.

She cums very easily several times, and it's not even 11 yet. Pumping like a good boy, I notice that the far-away look in her eyes that was there from the moment we met is getting farther and farther away until vacant. She was Valiumed out, so I pulled out, re-dressed, and zoomed over to Lois for the truly fun sex.

I spent the night with Lois, but got up real early and drove back to the mansion only to find Valium girl exactly as I left her, so I went downstairs into the cavernous kitchen and made breakfast for both of us. I thought I'd never get her awake, and she had a couple shots of Southern Comfort before getting out of bed, telling me how wonderful the lovemaking had been. She wanted more, but the eggs were getting cold and we had to be at the church for photographs in an hour (she was in the wedding), so I weaseled out of that chore.

We got the photographs taken, then it was the wedding and reception, and after that, back to the mansion for a nearly exact repeat of the previous evening: Valium and Southern Comfort, TV and wait, get naked, fuck, she's out, and I'm off to Lois'. Only difference that night was that I was fantasizing so about Lois in order to fuck Valium girl that I actually came inside her. Oh, well.

I told Lois all about Valium Girl and me, and Lois thought it hilarious, but Valium Girl never had a clue about Lois. Naturally, I still had her fresh juices on my cock when I got to Lois', so I asked Lois what I tasted like as she sucked me. "Kind of like a cocktail of Valium and Southern Comfort, with a sperm chaser" she kidded.

Valium girl was still sawing logs when I gathered my belongings and left the mansion about noon on Sunday, so I jotted her a thank-you note and stuck it under the bottles of Valium and Southern Comfort—where she'd be sure to find it--then crossed the street to say good-bye to Laura and her mom.

Laura followed me out to my car, told me her friend thought I was the best pussy eater and fuck she ever had, then asked me how I liked Valium Girl. "She was fan-fucking-tastic, and a million thanks to you for making it all happen," I lied.

I jumped in my car and headed directly to Lois.

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