Vampires Don't Sparkle

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maestro84
maestro84
1,680 Followers

As the movie was reaching its climax he suddenly felt her hand slip behind her back near his crotch. He said nothing but she began to rub her fingers along the front of his jeans. It felt very nice and he closed his eyes as he fingers grabbed his zipper pulling it down and sliding inside.

"I thought you didn't need to feed again?" He whispered in her ear.

She turned her head up at him and smiled before she replied "Who said we could only have sex if I was feeding?"

This was music to Bens ears as she turned her body towards him unbuckling his belt and pulling out his stiffening member caressing her fingers along his shaft. Bens eyes rolled in his head as she massaged his dick with her hands before she slid off the couch. He sat up ready to follow her to the bedroom when she placed her hand on his chest telling him to sit back down.

"Relax, you're still a little week from last night, let me take care of you!" She said as Ben relaxed in to the couch while she kneeled down in front of him.

She smiled at him while still rubbing her fingers along his cock. She leaned down and kissed the tip before she stuck out her tongue and began moving it in circles around the head. Ben couldn't believe how amazing it felt. She took her shirt off revealing a sexy black bra which she soon took off and discarded as well. Her breast's looked even more amazing in the light as they were very well rounded and perky. She slid up towards him positioning his cock right between them as she squeezed together crushing his member and sliding them up and down licking his tip whenever it was close enough.

"Oh shit!" He said as she continued her assault on his cock.

She released him leaving his dick bobbing there red and ready for more. She removed her pants and her underwear and for a moment Ben got to see her in all of her glory standing before him before she turned around and backed towards him dropping her pussy right down on his quivering member.

She leaned back against him as she wiggled her hips on his lap. He moved her hair aside and kissed her neck while he ran his hands around to her front sliding them up her stomach before taking each breast in a hand and squeezing them as she moaned out grabbing his hands and squeezing them harder. She leaned back again turning her head to kiss him as they were both getting lost in the pleasure. He began to feel strange again like he did last night. Everything started to feel trippy and time was no longer a factor. He could see sweat glistening off her body which was another surprise to him as he didn't know vampires could sweat. Her breaths got louder as she milked his cock. he reached his hand down and began to rub her clit while she worked her hips. she gave out a grunt like she was enjoying his touch.

He rubbed his hands all over her body as she continued her rhythm bringing him closer and closer to orgasm. He tried to think of anything he could to make the sensation last longer but there wasn't much he could do. He whispered in her ear "I don't know how much longer I can go!"

"Then go! she whispered back kissing him again. He held her tightly as he could no longer take it and yelled his pleasure as his cock erupted inside her making her yell out in pleasure as she seemed to cum only seconds later!

She rested herself against him breathing heavily turning to kiss him again. Moments went by and he had his arms wrapped around her almost afraid to let go.

"If I can be honest......... this has been the best sex I've had in decades!"

"I'm glad! Though I can't help but wonder how many people you have to compare me to!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just you're a lot older than me so I have to ask!"

She pulled herself off his lap and sat down next to him laying her legs across his lap. "Go ahead ask away, I'm sure you have a few questions!"

"Ok, so exactly how old are you?"

"About 148!"

"Wow, you look amazing for your age!" He said jokingly making her smile. "Now this whole Vampire thing, you don't seem like a normal Vampire."

"What's a normal Vampire?"

"I mean, cold pale skin, long fingers, breath the smells of rotting flesh, Can't have sex without killing your mate, all that stuff."

"This isn't Hollywood!"

"Ok then whats true and what isn't, other than the sparkling!"

"No, I already told you we don't sparkle, real Vampires don't sparkle! Ok let me think, I won't die in sunlight but it does hurt a bit so I try to avoid it, I only have to feed once every few weeks, I can't eat regular food but I can have wine, you know how good the sex is and my breath smells awesome as I'm sure you've noticed!"

"I have!"

"That's about it I guess, I can't bare children unfortunately but I've learned to live with that."

"Ok!"

"Is that going to be an issue?"

"Emily, with or without kids I'm in this for you!"

"God you're so fucking sweet! This is why I couldn't just eat and run!"

"How did you become a Vampire?"

"Oh that....... that's kind of a long story, maybe for another time!"

"Understood."

Ben laid down next to her wrapping his arm around her again and getting comfortable.

"No more questions?" She asked.

"No, I'm done for now, but I plan on seeing you many more times so if I think of any more I'll ask."

She smiled and kissed him before she rolled over. They laid there together for a while as Ben fell asleep still holding her. He didn't really care about the other questions he would have had meeting a Vampire, all he really cared about was her and he was willing to take her any way he could.

maestro84
maestro84
1,680 Followers
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AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You do know exclamation point is for excited or high energy dialogue. You used it every other sentence. He shouldn’t be excited about asking her to leave his face for his mom when he thought she would kill him. Nice story other wise. Little quick to the point. Little more time between the vamp bar and showing what she is would have been good. It’s your story though.

cantfightfatecantfightfateover 7 years ago
I agree with the other comments about pacing.

If you do a rewrite, I found it strange that she knew her way to his kitchen and bedroom the first time she went to his place.

Still, a good start. I'm glad there are some more chapters already there for me to read.

jonmartin22jonmartin22over 7 years ago
ace!

really nice opener, am very much looking forward to the next instalment!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
My biggest gripe

My biggest grip is the pacing. In less then 2000 words you introduced both characters, and had Emily spill her true nature to Ben, with what seems without an ounce of forethought. Not only that but Ben seems to just readily accept what she says, without any skepticism whatsoever. I can admit I'm a bit of a literature nazi, but this is way to fast of an introduction of characters to jumping straight into a relationship. I have tried to read this chapter all the way through, but it's simply to rushed for me to enjoy. I feel like you have a really good story concept so far, but I feel that the introduction, interaction, and pace of the intro could use a bit of a rehash.

I'm not saying you have to redo everything, just try to lengthen the chapter a bit, do a bit more character exposition, let them talk a bit longer, set a mood for their interaction. Just doing those things could grow this intro considerably.

Archangel_MArchangel_Mover 7 years ago

I found the setup very promising, though a little rushed. Unfortunately, the prose was just too unpolished for me to get into it and I stopped reading about a third of the way down the first page. I'm speaking purely of grammar, especially punctuation.

Your story construction and characterization seem pretty good, so my advice is to find yourself a good editor, polish this rough gem, and resubmit it. :)

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