Velvet Roses Ch. 07

*Vincent's corpse*

The words echoed cruelly in her mind like a sickening sonata that refused to end, and feeling as if she might throw up, she quickly clamped a hand over her mouth, then scrambled off the couch.

In her haste to reach the bathroom, she tripped over the edge of a throw rug, and as her body hit the floor, a faint cry tore from her lips.

Dane promptly came to her aid, placing a hand tenderly on her back as he bent down beside her, yet instead of feeling comforted, Jeneda was thoroughly repulsed, not to mention completely angered that he even had the nerve to make physical contact with her.

"Don't you touch me!" Her eyes burned with hate, and with a swift movement, she rose to her feet, then slowly backed away, not allowing her eyes to stray from his for even a second. It wasn't until she bumped up against the door that she finally came to a stop, and after clumsily fumbling with the lock, she opened the door, then gave him wide berth to exit.

"Get out."

He hesitated, his eyes seeming to implore her as he stood dejectedly before her. Then slowly he made his way for the door. Just before reaching the threshold he halted, turned around, then took a step toward her.

She took two steps back in response, and with hard cold, eyes, she glowered, silently warning him to keep his distance. Clearly heartbroken, he gazed at her sadly. Then in a voice thick with despair, he spoke.

"I know I don't deserve you, I never did. But I want you to know that you were the best thing in my life."

Her heart beat a little quicker in response to his words, and for a split second she felt herself soften. His eyes pleaded with her to let him back into her life, to allow him the chance to make things right, and she'd be a liar if she denied feeling tempted.

But just as quickly as she began to yield, she felt her anger return, and hating herself for her moment of weakness, she once again stiffened her body.

"You're dead to me now, I don't ever want to see you again. Now get the hell out of here, before I call the police." Her eyes narrowed as she said this, and after opening the door even wider, she shot him a fiery glare.

Heeding her request, he sorrowfully turned away from her. He snuck one last forlorn glance at her before crossing the threshold, then once he'd exited, she slammed the door behind him. For a few minutes she was helpless to do anything except just stand there, staring blankly at the couch where just minutes before they'd been sitting side by side.

Then she hastily made her way toward the bathroom, and after lifting the toilet top, she sunk to her knees and dry heaved. Her stomach contracted painfully, intent on dispelling the contents, but she had little more than a smoothie and water to offer, so she found herself expelling little more than a thin stream of liquid.

Once her stomach had nothing more to eject, she flushed the toilet, then shakily rose to her feet. She splashed some cold water on her face, then brushed her teeth, and after reaching her bedroom, she immediately stripped out her clothes. She pulled on an oversized T-shirt, then got into bed and buried herself beneath the covers.

It was far earlier than her normal bedtime, and she wasn't the least bit sleepy, but right now she desperately needed the warmth and comfort of her bed.

She'd barely found refuge beneath the sheets and heavy blanket before the sound of her ringtone filled the room, and after reluctantly grabbing her cell from the bedside table, she glanced at the display screen.

Expecting it to be Dane, she was surprised to find that it was Luna calling, and briefly contemplated whether or not she should answer the phone. Having forgotten all about the dinner date they'd planned, she knew that the decent thing to do would be to pick up and tell her that she wasn't going to show up. Yet despite the fact that her thumb was hovering above the call answer button, she just couldn't bring herself to push it.

She lacked the energy or desire to do anything except just lay in bed, and she certainly couldn't handle any questions from Luna regarding her failure to show up at the restaurant, so instead of answering her mobile, she set it back down on the table next to her bed.

No phone calls, no visits, no outside world; she just needed to be left alone. This horrible pain was threatening to rip her wide open, and right now she was helpless to do anything except wallow in it.

*Why?*

This was the thought that suddenly ran through her head, and as the word reverberated in her mind, she felt the knot in her stomach tighten even further.

Why did she ever have to meet him?

Why had he done such a terrible thing?

Why did Vincent have to cross his path?

Why hadn't he done the right thing and told the police?

Why had she allowed him into her heart?

Why did she have to care so deeply for him?

Like a broken record, the why's just kept on coming, and as her mind bombarded her various questions, she found herself sinking further down the spiral of hopelessness.

Now that she knew Dane's horrible secret, her life would never again be the same. She had a decision to make, and regardless of the path she chose, she'd end up emotionally scarred.

If she turned Dane in, Vincent would finally have justice and his family and friends could rest easier knowing that those who were responsible had finally been punished. But would turning Dane into the police actually make things right? If Dane was telling the truth about his partner being guilty of shooting Vincent, then Dane wasn't the person who deserved to go down for Vincent's death.

Yet even despite this, hadn't Dane also played a part in Vincent's demise? And had he not disposed of Vincent's body, when he could have just come clean to the cops and confessed what had happened? She didn't know what type of a sentence one could get for committing such a crime, but she knew there would definitely be some type of punishment. Most likely he'd go to prison, and once that happened, his life would undoubtedly be ruined.

*At least he still has a life. Vincent is dead.*

No sooner did this thought pass through her mind did she feel a deep pang of guilt, and her heart seemed to grow even heavier than before.

Send Dane to prison or keep the truth behind Vincent's death a secret?

If she chose to keep quiet, she'd be betraying the man who had known her since birth; the man who hadn't just been her father's best friend, but a close one of hers as well. Since elementary school, Vincent had attended every one of her graduations, and not one of her birthdays had passed without her receiving a gift from him. He'd been a good, kind man, and certainly hadn't deserved such a sad demise.

If she chose not to expose Dane's secret, that would mean she'd be forced to forever carry it around with her. It'd probably rot her from the inside out, not to mention the guilt would most likely drive her crazy. Nothing was worth that, and she knew in her heart that she'd never be able to live with herself, so what was she to do?

This was a decision which was truly life changing, and never before had she felt so utterly overwhelmed. Her heart was torn between two different men, and although she cared about each in an entirely different way, they both held a special place in her heart.

She felt trapped, and which each passing second, the walls seemed to be closing in even more. She was also terribly confused, and uncertain about what she was feeling. Hate, sadness, disgust, shock, disappointment, guilt...it was a clusterfuck of emotions, and she was being pulled in every direction.

Then suddenly, the tears came, and as hot, salty liquid spilt from her eyes, she buried her face in the pillow and sobbed. She cried not only for the loss of Vincent, but also for the death of her relationship with Dane. She cried until her chest ached and her throat burned, then finally, when she had no tears left to give, her sobs quieted down.

Her pillow was damp with tears, and her head hurt from weeping so heavily, but she hardly took notice. Too exhausted to care, she curled up into the fetal position, and somewhere along the way, she finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.