Venus Goddess of Love

That thought pulled me up with a jerk. With Rod and Mike their desire had been obvious. I had seen their erections pressing against their trousers. With Paul I had not once seen that.

I felt a bit alarmed at that thought. Was there something wrong with him, or did he find me sexually undesirable? If so, why all the dating, the wonderful times he had given me? Could he really be gay, but was trying to hide it from himself and the world? Yet he had been married to Mina; but then, gay men sometimes married for cover up reasons.

As for my own needs, I badly wanted him. I was masturbating almost nightly and fantasising about Paul. I knew I somehow had to break through this impasse, because if he was never going to have sex with me, I needed to know. I wanted sexual love and I wanted children, and however painful, I would have to break with Paul if I could not have those things with him.

Chapter 10: I Make a Plan and Get a Surprise

I sought for ways to bring matters to a head, and finally came up with a rather weak solution. I did not want the denouement to take place in my rather shabby flat, so I proceeded as follows: One night after we had been out together, and as he dropped me at my place, I said, “Paul, I’ve never seen where you live. Won’t you show me your place some time?”

In the gloom of the car I could sense him becoming defensive.

“Oh, you wouldn’t want to see my house,” he said.

“Yes I would, I said, even if it’s only the outside.”

“Well, if you really want to – and you’ve been so kind to me – suppose I take you there one evening and I’ll cook us dinner.”

This was beyond anything I could have hoped for and I agreed hastily. The time for Paul to pick me up was arranged, and I went into my flat triumphant.

On the evening in question I prepared myself carefully. I had never worn the dress I used when I went to Rod’s and Mike’s when I was with Paul. Now I took it from the wardrobe and inspecting it said to my self, “Now then, if this doesn’t get to him, nothing will.”

The dress seemed to flatter me even more than the first time I wore it, and as I put it on my mind turned to ladyship.

In all the weeks and months I had been going out with Paul, I had barely given her a thought. Now, as with Mike and Rod, she would be my secret weapon. I would break through Paul’s sexual reserve, or finally give up.

As always, right on time, Paul was ringing at my door bell. I hid my sexy dress under a coat, put ladyship in my pocket, and sallied forth to battle.

Paul was clearly very tense. We drove in silence until entering one of the more affluent areas of our town we pulled up outside a house that, even though it was dark, seemed to be rather elegant.

Inside I was stunned. The furnishings, pictures and floor coverings were obviously incredibly expensive, yet everything was in the most wonderful taste with an air of restraint. I gasped my admiration as I once more wondered where all the money came from.

To my exclamations of delight Paul said, “It was really Mina’s house. You see, she was rather well off.”

So that was it. Mina had died and left everything to Paul, I conjectured. How in the hell had this man escaped the clutches of some female or the other. Nice looking, considerate, generous and well off – what was wrong with the females of our town?

Added to the above collection of Paul’s virtues, was his cooking. He produced a delicious meal added to which was another bottle of what he called, “The 83”

The 83’ provided me with just enough relaxation to begin what after all was really my intended seduction of the poor man.

After the meal, as we sat in armchairs drinking port, I went to my coat and got ladyship. I said, “Paul, I’ve got a rather interesting little statue to show you”, and placing her on the low table in front of me, went on, “She’s a love goddess.”

He glanced at ladyship then did a double take. Ladyship started to glow. I was looking for some response from Paul appropriate to ladyship's clear intention.

I looked to see if he was getting an erection, but saw nothing. “My God, I thought, ladyship isn’t working.” Yet Paul was obviously disturbed. He exclaimed, “She’s glowing!”

I made no reply, but noticed that Paul was very uncomfortable. He seemed unable to sit still, and his eyes focused on ladyship, then on me, with particular intent on my breasts.

“This is it,” I said to myself, and said to Paul, “Paul, don’t you ever want to make love with me?”

He sank back in his chair as if cowering away from something frightening. Ladyship stopped glowing as he said in a voice that sounded like that of a scared child. “I can’t.”

This flat reply stunned me for a moment. All the weeks of what I had thought was his courting, and he didn’t want me.

“You mean,” I said, trying to stop myself from either shouting or weeping, “you don’t find me physically attractive.”

“No…no…that isn’t what I mean, Dawn, I swear it.”

I felt my blood run cold. There was something wrong with him, but what? “What then…what is it. Why can’t you make love with me? All these weeks you’ve led me to believe you liked…loved me…but you can’t make love with me…why not?”

His voice dropped to a whisper; “Because if you knew you’d never want to be with me again.”

I spoke quietly to him; “Paul, surely you know I love you. I love you so much I’ve cheapened myself by offering myself to you. Don’t you think I deserve to be told what it is that stops you making love with me? I’m not blind; I’ve seen the look of desire in your eyes, even if I haven’t seen…”

I stopped myself before the words were out, but it was too late. He had guessed what I was going to say.

“That’s it,” he whispered; “That’s just it my love; my secret that I have to keep hidden.”

I lost patience again; “For God’s sake Paul, what secret. What is it, are you deformed or something?”

“Not exactly deformed,” he moaned.

The for God’s sake tell me, I yelled; share your bloody secret with me. I’ve said I love you so surely that entitles me to your confidence?”

“I’ll tell you this,” he muttered. “There have been two other ladies I have got to this point with. They wanted to know my secret, and when I showed them, I never saw or heard from them again.”

I felt a pang of jealousy shoot through me at the thought of his two other ladies, but I suppressed it. I hardened my self and said; “Very well Paul, I have to tell you this. If we are never going to make love, I can’t go on, constantly frustrated, wanting you, wanting your children. You either share your secret with me, or I leave here now, and I’ll never see you again, and I shall resign from work.”

He leaned back in his chair for a moment, an exhausted look on his face, his eyes closed. I noticed ladyship glowing again, but more fiercely.

“Yes or no, Paul; I want an answer right now.”

His eyes flashed open and from a picture of despair he suddenly became angry.

“All right, you want to know, so you shall know, but don’t blame me if you don’t like what you see.”

He stood, undid the belt of his trousers and let them drop, and then stepping out of them also took off his underpants.

I was so taken aback by these actions I did not at first register what was before me. Paul was wearing something that vaguely resembled the medieval codpiece men once wore, except this was more a long soft leather tube. From the end of the tube ran two straps to disappear behind his back. The tube ran up above his navel, and Paul stood before me looking slightly ridiculous in his shirt tails the front of which he had lifted up.

My first thought was, “He’s wearing some of that padding like the male ballet dancers do when they want you to think they’ve got big cocks.”

He paused for a few moments; giving me the chance to take in what I was seeing, and then reaching behind his back he unbuckled the straps and drew the sheath from his penis.

“Now are you satisfied,” he almost snarled.

I was transfixed by what was before me. I had only limited experience of penises, Rod’s and Mike’s to be precise, and their’s were dwarfs compared to what I now saw. Paul had a huge phallus.

Now I knew why I had never seen his erection; he kept it restrained. The thick brown shaft with its purple crown shining with his precum discharge extended above his navel. At the base of his shaft were two huge testicles that looked swollen and tender. Had it been unrestrained his erection would have stood out like a beacon fire on a hill on a dark night.

Ladyship was glowing more brightly than I had ever seen her before. I had been in a state of semi-sexual arousal before, but now she was playing her old game with me, only more intensely than ever.

Paul was ignoring the glowing figurine and was addressing himself to me.

“Have you seen enough? Have you humiliated me sufficiently? Shall I take you home, or would you rather call a taxi?”

He began to replace the sheath, but I stood and went to him, taking the sheath from his hand, and then gently caressed his throbbing penis. “That won’t be necessary, my darling,” I said gently.

“You don’t understand,” he groaned, “Even Mina who loved me, she could only take about a third of me into her, and even then the thickness hurt her.”

I kissed him softly on the lips, our first ever kiss, and said, “But I’m not Mina.”

I understood so much now. His one time scowling and scolding in the office, his sarcasm to the girls; all the defensive tactics of a hurt and bitter man; and thus far I had drawn him away from that to become a cheerful and likeable human being, and one whom I loved.

Ladyship was still glowing ferociously and I was in a hell of a sexual state, with the lubricant running down my thighs.

“Now, my love, you will take me to bed and fuck me.”

“But the pain,” he protested.

“You will take me to bed and fuck me, Paul”, I commanded. “And for God’s sake stop standing there in your shirt and socks, you look ridiculous.”

I had no idea in which direction his bedroom lay, but he’d had enough argument, and meekly led me to the room and the massive double bed.

As he removed his shirt and socks I got out of my dress. When he turned and looked at my naked body he almost wept; “You’re so lovely, Dawn; I don’t want to hurt you.”

I felt so tenderly for him. He wanted me so badly and I knew that I could trust myself to him. If what he did to me was more than I could bear, he would not force me. “Paul, come into me.”

I was soaked with my lubricant and I could see the massive drops of precum on the crown of his penis. I must admit that I was anxious about what I was going to experience, but I had no desire to cry off the impending penetration so dearly I loved him.

He came over me, positioning the tip of his penis near the opening to my vagina. I took his massive shaft into my hand and guided him to the exact spot and said, “Now push in, my love.”

I felt the pressure against my inner lips and there was a moment’s pause; then he was through into my tunnel.

There was no pain on his entry only a delicious tightness against the walls of my vagina as he penetrated.

He was partially into me when he stopped.

“What is it?” I asked.

“This was as far as I could go with Mina,” he moaned.

I was angry at the mention of Mina and said sharply, “I told you. I’m not Mina; now push into me deeper.”

He pushed a little further then stopped again.

“Paul, I said deeper, stop playing with me I’m nearly out of my mind for you.”

He slid deeper into me and suddenly I felt him pressing against my cervix. There was a sharp pain, but I managed to suppress my cry and said, “All the way, Paul, all the way.”

He gave a final push, there was another twinge of pain, and he was all the way into me.

“O God, Dawn, the first time I’ve ever had a woman like this. I love you; I love you so much.”

He moved back, and then thrust in again, then back and in with increasing speed. Suddenly he gave an anguished cry and I felt the first explosion of his sperm. I swear if he had not been inside me his semen would have shot six feet into the air. The promise of his huge sperm filled testicles was fulfilled and he was filling me up to overflowing.

My pain forgotten, I felt for him and the appalling sexual frustration he must have endured for years. I stroked his face and murmured, “I want it all in my, darling, don’t hold back. Everything, please my love”

I felt my own orgasm rushing at me like an express train. My body seemed to go out of my control and I was shuddering and writhing as I screamed with the exquisite torment of the climactic moment.

Paul was still thrashing into me as if he would never empty those overflowing testes. We clung to each other and I was biting his neck and clawing his back in the glorious torment of our coupling.

In the calm of the aftermath we held each other, Paul still saying repeatedly, “I love you Dawn, I love you, don’t ever leave me.”

I assured him there was no danger now of my leaving him. I knew I should never find another man with his assets to satisfy me.

To make my point I stayed the night with him. We explored each other and Paul paid much attention to what had attracted him so much, my breasts.

“They’re beautiful, Dawn, so incredibly beautiful.”

“More beautiful than Mina’s,” I asked, teasing him.

In a serious voice he began, “Well Mina didn’t have…” Then he stopped, realising I was teasing, and laughed.

In the early hours of the morning Paul dropped off to sleep. I crept from the bed to where I had left ladyship. I knelt before her and said, “Thank you, ladyship, thank you.”

She seemed to give a glow of satisfaction.

As I looked at her it was born in on me that ladyship had either selected me for Paul or Paul for me. I clearly had one of the few vaginal tunnels that could receive him properly and without undue agony.

I returned to bed with a sore vagina and the man I loved. “I’ve got you; you bugger,” I murmured affectionately to the sleeping Paul, “And just let any other woman try to take you away…” I slipped into sleep.

Chapter 11: All I Could Hope For

In the morning Paul had another erection, but I was still sore from his previous penetrations, and I told him he would have to be patient with me. Indeed he was patient, treating me with the utmost tenderness.

Over the following two days as I overcame my soreness, under his instructions I masturbated Paul. My hand would not stretch round his thickness, but I managed to relieve him none the less.

By my own choice I also gave him oral sex. I was unable to get much of his huge phallus into my mouth, but what I could achieve seemed to satisfy him.

My flat saw little of me during the following four weeks, and then it saw me no more. My menstrual period was due around two weeks after Paul and I first made love. No menstrual flow occurred and I knew. What Mike and Rod had been unable to achieve, Paul had done, perhaps during our first coupling. I was pregnant.

Nothing would do but that Paul would marry me. On this point he was adamant, although most of the time I seemed to be in command.

Paul was now a completely different man to the one I first knew, and the rest of the office staff saw this clearly. They had no doubt about why he had changed, although they were very careful about voicing their thoughts.

We were still both at the stage where we could not leave each other alone, so at the office we had frequent periods when we were “not to be interrupted.”

I found that straddling the corner of Paul’s desk with my legs open and Paul standing in front of me gave us a very delightful experience. In fact we have often used this method at home, with me straddling the corner of the kitchen table.

The wedding was a huge affair performed in the big town church. Apart from the office staff and managers, I was amazed at the number of people Paul knew. He seemed to have no family, but a large number of friends, many of them highly placed in our community and beyond.

Chapter 12: I Am Mystified.

One day when I was alone, I took out ladyship and felt her influence run through me. I had very reverential feelings towards her and addressed her saying: “Ladyship, I don’t know how you turned a fat unattractive girl into someone desirable, but thank you; and thank you for the new life forming inside me.”

Ladyship did not glow, but I could have sworn she gave me a wink through the mat of hair.

When I was about six months pregnant I was walking along the High Street one day, and I was about to pass the little lane where the shop from which I had bought ladyship was located. I decided I would pay a visit to the old man who had sold ladyship to me.

I entered the shop and saw a middle aged woman behind the counter. She looked up, smiled, and said, “Can I help you madam?”

“Yes,” I replied, “Could I see the elderly gentleman who served me some months ago?”

The woman looked puzzled. “That’s odd, she replied, there have been a few ladies coming in here and asking for the elderly gentleman. You see, there has never been an elderly gentleman working in the shop.”

“But that’s not possible I said. I came in here twice and he served me both times. I bought a figurine of the Love Goddess, and some yarrow from him.”

“I’m sorry madam, but I’ve never stocked such a figurine or yarrow. No elderly gentleman has ever worked here; I should know I own the shop.”

I looked up at the ceiling, and there were no herbs hanging it. I backed away saying, “I’m sorry, I must have been mistaken about the shop.” On leaving the shop I glanced in the window. There was no figurine.

Arriving home I decided to consult ladyship about the mystery. I had put her away in the box and placed the box in a draw. I opened the draw and there was no box or ladyship.

I thought I must have been mistaken about the draw, so I opened another, then another and another. I began a frantic search for my lost ladyship, almost ransacking every drawer and cupboard in the house. I found nothing.

Ladyship and her box had gone. Had they ever existed? Perhaps I had served ladyship and she had departed. Who knows?

Epilogue.

That was several years ago and in the intervening period I was too busy getting pregnant and giving birth to five children to give the shop and ladyship mysteries any further thought. Having got to five children Paul and I decided to have no more and the final decision was that Paul should have a vasectomy.

I have never asked, but have often wondered what the doctor thought when he saw what he had to operate on. Not that it really matters, because what he had to operate on is mine, all mine, and I make sure I keep it regularly exercised.

I wonder where ladyship is now?