Very Bad Things

"Look...you think that you are getting nothing for your money. That's not true. You got the best advice I can give you. Divorce her or get over it. Scream, rage, cry, talk. Humans can get used to the most awful things. And the money isn't wasted. If you ever decide to close the gap and take the final step..." his fingers closed together, "I will waiting for you at the bottom of the abyss and I owe you ten thousand dollars in atrocities. Today, tomorrow...twenty years from now. Just call. I'll be waiting." He pointed back at the picture. A business card was sitting in the frame under his wife's image.

While he was thus distracted, Curtis body checked him out of the way and onto the floor.Asshole.

+

Curtis wasn't three steps outside the office when the anonymous Ford Focus pulled up. His foot wasn't off the ground before the custom oversized engine started roaring them forward. They made three quick left turns, her glancing at the rearview mirror, him watching the aftermarket large mirror on the sunshade on his side looking for tails. Finally they pulled into an empty parking space and she slithered into his lap from the drivers seat, taking him into a clinch. She flipped her hair away from his eyes so he could see behind her as she watched behind him while they tongue wrestled.

Finished, they looked closely into each other's eyes. "Hi." She said.

"Hi." He wore 'her' smile. "Daddy brought home some moolah today."

"Nobody says moolah anymore."

"I'll make a note."

She gazed at his face carefully. "So...Plan A or Plan B?"

He shook his head sadly "What is it with people today? Peter the Great sentenced a wife to live in a stone cloister north of the Arctic Circle because he was tired of her and couldn't wait for her to freeze to death. Empress Wu cut off the hands and feet of her rival and had her scourged with a hundred lashes and shoved into a sealed building to starve to death. He can't even look at a graphic picture. This current generation lacks spirit."

"Plan B. And all those people were kings or stuff."

"Yup. He was all full of piss and vinegar until he got a load of the cost. Everyone thinks he's a king these days. I blame reading too much internet porn. I blame the educational system. But it's good for business."

"Stop acting so disappointed. If you REALLY wanted people to pick Plan A, you wouldn't use your sucky sales technique."

"I personally think my sales technique is brilliant." He removed the envelope. "It would be nice to get the call...but I'd rather be spending his money than actuallyearning his money. All it took was a few simple truths."

"The truth shall set you free?"

"I think he found it a bit more expensive than that." Curtis said as he leafed through the money. "So where do you want to vacation on this?"