Vickie Holzgraff

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"What do you mean Tom?" I asked. "Go look in the mirror." Moore says.

I step in the head and look to see the remains of Vickie's love juices on the side of my face. No wonder everyone was laughing and guffawing. I was demonstrating to everyone just how involved with her and I tried to be so private about it. I was embarrassed. I was also very glad she wasn't here to see it. God, I thought to myself, if I ever did anything to embarrass her or drive her away I think I would die. Life wouldn't be worth anything for me without her. I could never do anything to hurt her. Vickie meant the whole world to me and my whole world revolved about her. I literally worshiped the ground on which those two beautiful small feet stood.

Training went as training goes, the usual bravo sierra, the same stuff except for classes, which were on vital subjects. The next two days were from 0430 until 1900. God we were tired and some still had to stand duty that evening. The rest after chow went to hit the showers and then to bed. My next duty day was Friday night, which was supposed to be for 24 hours, but usually consisted of one 4-hour watch. My watch was from 0001 to 0400. Just the most lovely watch anyone could get. I went in and went to bed at 2000. I had liberty on Saturday and Vickie met me at 0815 right after morning colors. I was waiting and ready for a day with the most beautiful girl in the world.

Into the parking lot she drove in her yellow and white 66 Ford Falcon. It was a nice little car and economical. It was a very solid car and better that some others on the road. I jumped in and we headed to 32nd Street Naval Station so that I could get some civies again. We stopped along the way to embrace and kiss. "God you're so beautiful." I stumbled out. "Why thank you sir." She said and let out that haunting little giggle and I noticed that her eyes still sparkled when she giggled. She, of all women, had the most beautiful smile, when she smiled her face glowed and the room would light up. "I can't tell you how much I have missed you being away." She declared. "I know, I have never missed anyone as much as you." I said "I've been thinking about something the last three days." She said. "What's that honey?" I asked.

"Why don't we get married while you are here?" She said. "I'd love too." I said "Wanna check it out?" She asked "We're not checking it out yet?" I asked meaning "Hell Yes."

We arrived at the 32nd street naval station at 0930 after a few stops, such as breakfast at Sambo's restaurant that catered especially to the Navy Personnel in the San Diego area. Not only did we stop at Sambo's, but we also had a few little stops along the way to "Check equipment," you know to kiss and embrace, reaffirm our undying love to each other, softly cry because of the sudden unexpected joy of my return. Emotions again overwhelmed us, but not in a sexual manner. It seemed that a fountain had opened in our heads and wouldn't turn off. Again a very heavy silence had fallen on us and we were lost in each other.

"What would I ever do without you?" I asked. "I don't know how to answer that." She said. "Don't try to answer it. Just think about it Vickie. I don't know how to talk like other guys you know that. I can only tell you what is in my heart. Honey, every long night on the ship all I can think of is you. I probably shouldn't tell you this but I worship you. You are my goddess of love and tenderness." Suddenly not realizing how I am thinking of how to say all these things while waxing eloquent. It was apparent to me at that time in history that her education in Pennsylvania was far superior to mine in a small town school in rural Arkansas. Yet I was saying things which she had never heard out of my mouth. All we could do at that point was to again embrace, cry, and kiss—above all that tender kiss of hers said more than the inadequate words out of my mouth.

"Do you know what made me fall for you that very first day Jerry?" She asked me. A huge lump in my throat made me unable to say anything to her. It was all I could do to shake my head no. "I fell for you because you were not like all of those other guys I knew who only wanted me for sex. You were innocent and so shy. You are still the most bashful guy I know. When I say little things to throw hints to you, you don't pick up on them because your so darned innocent. If anything ever happened to you I'd die. You see Jerry, I can't sleep at night either." Suddenly she choked on her tears and began to weep with her head snuggled into my chest. For several minutes she almost wailed. My blouse was saturated with scalding hot tears, which soaked into my T—shirt beneath. No more words were said. What was there to say? How could one speak after such powerful emotions?

We decided to get out of the car and go into the exchange. Vickie began to come around and started to tease me. She was recovering and told me that I was now a "Raw fish eater," something said of Seals. She asked what it was like to eat raw fish. I didn't say anything because of being so bashful, but I really enjoyed the way she teased me with her little cute comments and then—again that little bubbly giggle of hers made me melt inside. Of all the guys in the world I was the luckiest of all for the gods had granted that once in a lifetime love with the most beautiful of women.

We went to the exchange and I bought some clothes, another three pair of trousers with matching shirts along with new socks and shoes. She wanted to know how I had learned to match clothing that way, as men usually didn't know. I told her my mother had taught me. She said she wanted to know about my folks. I told her that she would like mother's folks, but my brothers she probably wouldn't care for. Let's talk about them later I said. We went to the exchange laundry and I got the lady there to press and remove tags. I then changed in the exchange head and put on my new trousers and shoes. I stepped out of the head and had not yet put on my shirt. All I had on was from the waist down. "My god you're big now." She exclaimed touching my chest and arms. "I knew you felt different the other night when I undressed you."

"You mean when you tore my clothes off?" I said blushing again. She then pinched my left nipple hard and I said a loud "ouch!" She giggled again and my knees nearly got weak. "Are you gonna get your shirt on or do I have to tear it off again?" She said and giggled again.

We drove around San Diego for quite a while and went to Balboa Park and spent the afternoon seeing the sites but mostly rediscovering each other. Actually we neither saw many sites, nor did we do much except see each other. What could be more important than seeing her? I suppose that there were birds there in the trees, and perhaps grass on the ground, water in the pools for the birds, but who can say. I had the most important girl to look at in the world.

True love is the most wonderful thing that two people of any age can discover. Nothing compares to it and nothing else is like it. When two people desire to give the ultimate gift of themselves to each other there is no one else in the world that fits as that person does. No song can describe it in words. Poets have attempted and failed in sonnets. Musicians have composed lyrics that do not meet that feel of love. True love is incomprehensible except to experience it. We two were given a second chance by the gods of fate and we realized this and weren't going to allow this opportunity to pass. We discussed what we needed to do, how we needed to get our blood tests, how to get our ceremony. Should we get a judge, then marry in a church later? Would a chaplain perform the ceremony? Vickie agreed that she could check this out while I am unable to do so because of the training. It was agreed between the two of us and we sealed the agreement with, of course, a kiss.

I made sure that I got the Staff Sergeant another dozen red roses and another box of Misses Sees Chocolates. I got her a card but didn't know what to write to her. Vickie took care of that and I signed the card. This was with the condition that I got to kiss the Staff Sergeant. Vickie had no problem with that. That afternoon we went to the Women Marine Barracks and Vickie got the Staff Sergeant to come outside. We went to the back to the patio that was enclosed. Most of the women were out on liberty or on duty at this particular time so the barracks was virtually deserted except for a few people on other floors.

Vickie brought SSGT Taylor around who wasn't in uniform at that time. "I knew you'd be hanging around here somewhere Doc." She said in her usual crass manner more for effect than for anything else. Her attire was a blue dress with white lace and buttoned down the front. It was a rather modest dress that revealed no cleavage for which she was well endowed. She had quite a figure for a woman in her thirties. Her abdomen was flat and no midriff roll that many more mature women had. Her only problem was that her nose was too large for her face, which was square. If she had had a nose job, which was rare in those days, she would have been a very attractive woman.

"Staff Sergeant Taylor," I commenced. "Hold it right there, I'm not on duty now and if you call me Staff Sergeant again I'm gonna hit you sailor boy." She said attempting to sound meaner than she had really proved herself to be. "What do I call you then ma'am?" I asked "Linda will be fine sugar." She said. "Linda…"I paused, "Linda I would like to present one of the most beautiful ladies I have ever known with something." I said, "I also have Vickie's approval on this." I added. "What would that be honey?" She said as she had gotten into calling me pet names. "First you must close your eyes," She did, "hold your hands in front of you," which she did. I placed the roses in her hands first. And then the candy. "You ass hole." She said with tears in her eyes which she attempted to hide but couldn't. "You need to put those down for a moment." I then said. She did.

I then stepped up to her and with great admiration reached around her waist, embraced her tenderly and gave her the tenderest brotherly kiss on the lips that I could muster. Not understanding what had been happening between the two of us she returned a very affectionate kiss as tears streamed down her face running her make up. She continued to hold me for a long time and squeezed me tightly in her embrace. I felt her abdomen press against me stirring me to an erection, which she also felt. The passion of the moment almost overwhelmed the two of us. She then released me and wiped her eyes as she cried. "You always do make me whimper like this." she stated between a strained voice and sobs. Her face flushed as large tears streamed down her face.

I was flushed with passion because there was something about her, which I could not explain, that had given me such a head rush. My heart was beating in my ears with a heavy thumping sound, and my face was flushed as usual. If Vickie had noticed any of the chemistry between the Staff…I mean Linda, and I, she never said anything. She now had tears in her eyes also with the affection of a little sister. I didn't know it but Linda had been storing and controlling a secret passion for me that I never knew about and had not been manifested until that moment. However, I as yet didn't realize what it was until later.

"Linda, I've just had an idea, would you like to hear it?" I asked. "What's that?" Was all she could say between sobs. "Vickie and I have been together all day, and thanks to you many times in the past including the other night when you went to the club at Coronado NTC. You have been a jewel about this and God knows what it has cost you in time, money, and who knows how much liberty when you took her duty all those times. You have never asked for anything in return. Please allow me to show you my appreciation for you by asking you to dinner with the two of us tonight." I stated. "Oh baby, you don't have to do that." She said still wiping her eyes running out of tissues. I handed her my handkerchief "Thanks, " she stated. "You two deserve each other and you deserve to be alone, not with an old battle ax like me."

"Linda," I began, "you are real prize that no one has ever realized yet." I found myself becoming eloquent but not knowing why; "I would really feel bad if you didn't take me up on my offer. Besides that, you are a beautiful woman, and one day you'll come to realize that as I have now." I said and my face again flushed.

"Ain't he cute when he does that Vickie?" Linda said. "All Vickie could do was nod her head yes because of the tears now holding onto my arm. "OK sweetie, you just convinced me. I have to go in and get ready now because thanks to you, I am now a mess. How about you Vickie?"

"I could stand to clean up, but Jerry will have to stay out here by himself." Vickie said. "SHH, Linda put her fingers to her mouth. "I'll distract the watch and you sneak him in the back way to your room. When you've gotten all cleaned up and ready we'll sneak him out. You make sure there's no one on the floor before you let him in." Linda said. "Besides, it is just now 1645. We'll probably not leave till what, 1900 or later?" she looked at me. I agreed. True to her word she went in to the watch and was cleverly showing the watch, one of the girls she knew, her flowers, candy and card talking all kinds of girl talk. With a hand behind her she motioned Vickie in. Inside and to the second floor we went.

In those days it was a court martialable offense to a male service member caught in the women's barracks, and many had been caught before like that and given a Bad Conduct Discharge (BCD). We had to not get caught. Vickie looked in the door and searched the hallway all the way to her room. So far so good. In the door I go and rush to her room which she has the door open and unlocked. It was like making the 100-- yard dash in less than 30 seconds but I made it.

Once inside, Vickie closed the door quickly and locked it. I looked at her with a panicked look on my face. Vickie began to chuckle; I then began to chuckle. We then quietly laughed for a few minutes. Then the moment overtook us. Alone in her room and no one else there. Her roommate was out on the town and wouldn't be back for quite a while, but who cared? We quietly embrace and kiss a long passionate kiss. All day we have been in the presence of others and now we are alone again. It is overwhelming and we cannot control it. Quickly our clothes come off and we lie on her bed, which is the standard military bed, but her sheets are pink. We embrace again and kiss. Eventually she says "make love to me as you did Tuesday night. Kiss me everywhere including my femininity."

One hour later, we lie together and she tells me that she loves her new experience that I have shown her. She tells me that each time we make love she wants me to love her the same way. I accept the invitation. She looks at the clock and declares that she must get a shower then asked me if I would like to get one. I would love to but I can't run down the hall to the head I tell her. She informs me that her head joins her room. This is quite a difference from the men's barracks. She locks the other door and lets me get my shower first. Once out she jumps in and bathes. I cannot help but notice the graceful curve of her body. That gentle slope of her back and hips. Her chest and abdomen with her smooth gentle outward protuberance of her lower abdomen, her gentle slope of her lovely small breasts are as a confection. "I am the luckiest man in the world." I declare to myself. Such beauty can't be described in mere words.

After we are dressed she shows me her things which I have no idea what to say of many of them. She loves pink. Any pink will do, but she also loves flowers. She didn't tell me when I bought them for the Staff…Linda that is. I must do something to correct this error. I look into her eyes and tell her that we must go to the nearest florist on the way to the restaurant on the way to where ever she desires to go to eat tonight. She accepts. I talk to her of her folks. She tells me of her brother who had been in Viet Nam, of her uncle and father, grand fathers. She is the first in her family of the women to serve also in her beloved Corps.

She asks me about my family. I tell her that she would love the Nooners, and mother's cousins the Orrs. She wants to know about their military history. I tell of the Nooners who had always served in the Army. Of the different wars they served in. Of how they had both served in the Confederate and Union Armies in the Civil War, of their service in World Wars One and Two. Of how the Simms immigrated from Ireland and the Graves who emigrated from Wales. Of each one's service also in the Army. "So you broke tradition by joining in the Navy." She declared. I confirmed this. "I also broke tradition when I became a Seal." I stated. "Wow!" was all she could say. "Have you thought about how they will accept you when you return?" She continued. "I have." I began, "all my life I was told how I would never be better than my older brother Hamilton, and my next older brother Don. But I know that I can be better than them. I now know that I am better than them."

"Why?" she asked. "Hamilton was in the 101st Airborn division in the Korean War. "I didn't know that." She said, "You didn't mention that."

"Why should I? He doesn't give me the time of day when I'm around." I added. "Is that why you want to be a Seal?" she asked, "So you can feel superior to big brother who was a war hero from the past?"

"I guess that could be a part of it, but he really wasn't a war hero. He was a cook in the rear when the regular division was dropped behind enemy lines and got overrun by the Chinese." I added. "Then why would you want to be in the special operations area who do that sort of thing?" She asked "No Vickie, it is something I have to prove to myself. I can be better than him and I don't have to live in the shadow of my oldest brother who is a pompous ass, or my older brother who never did shit." I said vindictively. "Is that what this is about, just one big object lesson in how you can outdo them?" she asked heatedly. Her face flushing with anger. "No sweetheart it isn't," I continued, "I'm doing this for us. Honey I love you and wanted to be with you. I also want to serve in the war just as your father, grandfather's, and brother have as a proud tradition of being in the finest, I also want to be the finest the Navy has to offer. The only way I can do it is to do this. Would you want your family, who has proven they don't want us together, to prove me inferior to them? I couldn't take that." I asked somewhat angry at the thought. "Honey I want you to be the very best you can be, but I know that Seals do dangerous things, though I don't know what. I love you and couldn't stand to loose you and I know that a lot of Seals die on each mission they go on. I'd just die if I got word that you were killed in action over there." She said as she began to cry very heavily. I held her closely and realized for the first time how nervous she was about my being here for the type of training I was getting

How could I assure her that I would be in no more danger than her brother who had the dubious distinction of being known as the "Walking Dead." In fact our missions didn't produce as many casualties as did those of the Marine Infantry units in Nam. The whole problem with this war was that the news media was allowed to fan the flames of animosity toward the American serviceman or woman and not suffer retaliation from congress. It was as if everyone wanted us to be the bad guys here when the Gooks were worse than any thing we had ever seen. The news media's knew this also but didn't bother to confuse the public with the truth.