Village Green Candle Shop

"I wouldn't hurt her for anything," I assured her. "Besides, she might not say yes," I added and Susan patted my arm and smiled.

"Didn't think you would," Susan said before excusing herself and heading off to work. "If you think she'll say anything but yes, you haven't been paying attention."

7. Mothers are usually right.

It was after closing time on Wednesday night when I finally got up enough courage to ask Cindy out. I had just finished counting the drawer, and Cindy had just finished sweeping up, when I casually brought up the subject of going out to dinner.

Truth be known, it was far from a casual question. I stammered and stuttered and in general sounded like a complete fool, and it was no wonder that Cindy didn't really understand what I was asking her.

"What I'm trying to ask you," I said as I finally decided to stop pretending that this was just idle chatter and stopped puttering around mindlessly, "is if you would like to go out to dinner this Saturday night. Maybe catch a movie or something like that."

"With you?" Cindy asked me.

"Well, that was the general idea," I said.

"What's the occassion?"

"Besides eating dinner?" I asked. "I mean - I guess it would be a date."

Cindy jumped when she heard that, and knocked over a little stand that held novelty pens. Cindy was a bundle of nerves as she tried to gather them up and put them back in the slots, her face blushing as she did.

"Klutz," Cindy muttered to herself as we knelt down and got everything put back together again.

"Well," I finally said. "What do you say?"

Cindy looked flushed and embarassed, and it suddenly occured to me that maybe she wanted to say no but didn't want to hurt my feelings.

"Cindy... if you'd rather not it's okay," I assured her with as brave a face as I could manage. "I just thought..."

"I'd love to!" Cindy blurted out very loudly, her voice squeaking and breaking as she spoke. "I'd just that... well, I wasn't expecting you to ask me that."

"At the rate I was stuttering and sputtering I didn't think it would ever get out of me," I admitted. "I've never been much of a ladies man."

"I've never been much of a man's lady," Cindy said with a nervous giggle. "Never thought anybody would ever ask me that question either."

8. The first date.

It was downright silly for a man my age to be nervous about a date, especially one with a girl that had never been on one before. Even if it was a disaster, it would still be her best date ever, but it didn't quell the butterflies in my stomach.

Part of my nervousness came from the fact that I didn't know what we were going to do. The only movie house in our little college town was showing some slasher horror picture, and I didn't think that was a good thing to take a girl to on a first date. In the end I figured we could just go to dinner and stretch it into a long one.

When I knocked on the door of Cindy's house, the door flew open almost immediately, which startled me as my hand was still flailing around next to the wood.

Cindy looked so vibrant; not that she didn't always look attractive to me, but she looked even better than usual as she greeted me in the doorway. Her mother was standing in the living room, watching my entrance with an amused smile on her weathered face.

"You look amazing," I told Cindy, as my eyes took in her pink short sleeved blouse and darker rose slacks, and Cindy seemed happy to hear that. I suspected she must have put a lot of time into getting ready, and even though she needn't have put on any makeup on my account, she had applied it conservatively and tastefully.

"You guys have fun," Mrs. Terrell said, and she appeared to wipe a tear from her cheek as she spun back toward the kitchen of their modest home.

We closed the door behind us and walked down the long path that led to the street, the unseasonably warm evening and clear skies providing a wonderful setting for our night.

I drove us down into the area around my store, and parked in a central location in what passed for our business district.

"Where would you like to eat?" I asked Cindy as we got out of the car. "I didn't make any reservations because I didn't know what you would feel like."

There were five restuarants within the little village green area, and they covered a pretty wide range of cuisine, all things considered.

"Oh, I get to choose?" Cindy said. "Gee, the pressure is on me."

Cindy looked around, and finally pointed across the park to Nicole's.

"Can we go to Nicole's?" Cindy asked. "I've always wanted to go there."

"Of course, my dear Cindy," I said in a regal voice. "A wise choice."

Nicole's probably was the best restuarant in town, and had the most extensive menu as well. I would have suggested it myself, but I feared the entrance, which involved the negotiation of several steps. Cindy, I had noticed, had a problem with steps.

Cindy paused at the base of the steps, and put her hand on my arm, which I had offered to her seconds earlier.

"This might take some time," Cindy said, with a look of embarrassment on her face.

"We have all the time you need," I assured her, and watch the grim look of determination on her face as she lifted her good leg up to the first step.

"It's more a lack of faith than anything else," Cindy told me as her bad leg followed behind her. "Dumb leg gives out on me every so often. Helps to have someone to lean on."

I looked over at the front of Nicole's place, and there was only one couple in the spacious window, and they were way too busy with each other to gawk at us going up the stairs.

"There!" Cindy said as we reached the top of the stairs. "Made it up here in time for breakfast."

I laughed as I opened the door and let Cindy in before me. The owner of Nicole's was acting as the hostess, and she smiled broadly as she saw us enter.

"Adam! Long time since you've been around these parts," Nicole said. "Thought you were mad at us."

"No way," I assured her as we exchanged pecks on the cheek. "It's not easy for an old guy to trick a pretty girl into going to dinner with him."

"Oh my goodness!" Nicole exclaimed as she looked to my side. "It's little Cindy! I didn't recognize you at first. You look so much older, and you look especially lovely tonight."

"I agree," I said to Nicole. "How's chances you put us in the front window so I can show Cindy off to the rest of the town."

"Chances are excellent," Nicole announced, and led us through the sparsely populated dining room and over to the unoccupied table next to the window.

We made it over to the table and I pulled Cindy's chair out for her as Nicole lit the candle in the center of the table. I walked around to the opposite side and eased myself down into the chair facing Cindy.

The candlelight flickered as I looked over at Cindy, who was looking out the window. Her eyes were sparkling, and it almost looked like tears were welling up in them as she looked out at the village green outside the glass.

"Sorry," Cindy sniffled as she eventually turned to face me. "It's just that I would always go past this place and look at the people eating, and it looked like it would be so much fun. Never thought I'd..."

"Well, you're here now," I said. "You can look out at our bustling metropolis and watch the people scurrying around."

"Yeah, you can see the shop from here too," Cindy noted, the front window visible from our perch through the newly budding trees in the green.

We both ordered varieties of chicken for dinner, and I got us a bottle of pinot noir after consulting with my date.

"I don't know anything about wine," Cindy said after the waitress had departed. "I'm surprised that they're going to serve me."

My look of puzzlement was replaced by one of shock, as I realized that Cindy was not of legal age.

"Oh geez, I totally forgot," I said quickly. "I can get you a soda or something."

"No, please don't," Cindy replied. "I'd like to at least sip some of it. Make me feel like a grown up."

"You are a grown up," I told Cindy. "That's why I didn't think about it when I ordered, and why the waitress didn't question you either. You're very mature for your age, and you look so spectacular tonight as well."

Cindy's teeth sparkled as a smile spread across her face. A smile that never failed to make me feel warm inside whenever I saw it.

Our meals came and Cindy sent me a mischievious grin every time she brought the glass of wine to her lips. Dinner was wonderful, and the conversation was delightful as well, as we managed to avoid too much shop talk.

Even by making the meal linger as long as possible, it was still pretty early when we finished, and as I helped Cindy down the steps I looked up and down the street. The marquee at the only movie theatre in town was visible from there, and I told Cindy that I wished there was another movie playing.

"It's a sequel," Cindy told me. "I saw the first movie a couple years ago, and it was pretty bad. I doubt if this one is any better."

"One of the problems with living here is that we don't get a lot of choices," I lamented. "If you go to the larger cities they have a dozen screens to choose from. Sometimes they have films at the campus theatre, but not tonight."

A walk was not a good idea, because although it was a good night for it, I wasn't sure how much of it Cindy could take.

"We could go over to the shop and dust," Cindy said with a giggle.

"Now that would be a new low in dating, even for someone like me."

"Well, you could take me to your place," Cindy said with a little hesitation.

"Really?" I said, actually hoping that this would be where we ended up but afraid to mention it for fear Cindy would get the wrong idea. "It's not very fancy."

"Neither is our house, if you'll remember," Cindy offered.

9. After dinner.

My place, as Cindy called it, was the apartment behind the shop. Bethany had fallen in love with the entire building when we began renting it, and when times were good we were able to buy it. The apartment was a cozy one bedroom with a fireplace in the living room. You could swing a cat in the place, but just barely, and while it was a little cramped for 2 people, I had found that without Bethany it seemed cavernous.

We went in though the shop entrance, and even in the semi-darkness our familiarity allowed us to weave our way around the displays through to the back. Reaching the apartment entrance without incident, I opened the door and led Cindy in, relieved that the place was neat and tidy.

"Oh! This is so cute!" Cindy exclaimed as she entered the kitchen. "And a fireplace! This is so awesome Mr. - Adam."

I smiled at the correction, having already told her several times to please forget the Mr. Grant stuff.

"Oops," Cindy said. "I'll try to remember that for the rest of the night."

"For the rest of forever," I told her. "Adam will do fine no matter where we are. I never was much for the Mister title."

Leading Cindy into the living room, I lit the store bought log in the fireplace and brought us out a couple of sodas.

"This is really neat," Cindy said as the wax log flamed up. "You've got a lot of movies too."

Cindy gestured at the collection of DVD's and tapes along the wall.

"Is there something you would like to watch?"

"Sure, pick out anything," Cindy said, adding with a laugh, "Anything but "The Savage Slasher 1 or 2."

"You like old movies or older movies?" I asked. "I'm afraid my tastes run to more aged material."

"I haven't seen many older movies, but play something you want to see," Cindy suggested. "If you like it I probably will too."

"Have you ever seen Casablanca?"

Casablanca was not something Cindy had seen, but was something that I had seen about 100 times. It was a favorite of Bethany's as well, and I always vowed that I would play it until it wore out. The tape had eventually failed, but the new DVD copy showed promise that it would outlive me no matter how much I played it.

Cindy sat on the couch with me, and after a few minutes had slid over to where she was need to me. Before long it would be accurate to say we were snuggling together.

Cindy's attention was on the movie, however, and it was an emotional hour and forty minutes for me. I heard Cindy sniffle at times, and it was difficult for me to not lose it myself despite my being able to probably recite the movie's dialogue word for word.

The memory of watching Casablanca with Bethany countless times, and the sight of her jumping to her feet and breaking into song along with Paul Henreid and the patrons of Rick's, as they sang Les Marsaille to drown out the German soldiers patriotic singing, was something that was destined to stay with me forever, I realized. I almost felt guilty watching the movie with another woman. In a way it felt like I was cheating on Bethany, and I wondered what she would think of me being with Cindy.

Many times during the final, painful days, Bethany would playfully scold me as she lay helplessly in the hospital bed, admonishing me to go find myself another woman. She even tried to set me up with a couple of the nurses, much to my embarrassment.

"You're not going anywhere," I told her. "We're going to march out of the place soon, and then what would I do? I can't even keep up with you!"

It was a lie, of course, and Bethany knew it too, but she would nod and smile in response.

Nobody would ever replace Bethany, that was certain. I also knew that I had been alone for the three longest and worst years of my life, and the loneliness had not lessened, it had actually seemed to intensify.

Until now. I glanced over at Cindy, who was watching the screen with intensity, her eyes just as dewy and beautiful as Ingrid Bergman's ever were. Biting her lower lip, as she sometimes did when she was nervous or excited, my heart fluttered a little. Was I falling in love again? It surely felt like it.

Casablanca ended, and as Rick and Captain Renaud walked off together, Cindy squeezed my arm. I put my arm around her and held her tightly as she sobbed softly.

"Must be wonderful," Cindy said after regaining her composure. "To have somebody love you that much, I mean."

"It is," I told her, and looked at her tear streaked cheeks. "Did you like the movie?"

"I loved it," Cindy said. "I could watch it again and again."

"Well, stick around with me long enough and you'll probably have to," I said with a chuckle.

"I think that would be a good thing,' Cindy said without laughing.

I kissed Cindy then. Her cheek cool against my face, her lips full and warm, I felt her warm response to what might have been the first romantic affection she had ever received. What she lacked in experience Cindy more than made up for in enthusiasm, as we began necking.

My hands slid over her back as we kissed, and I felt myself get an instant erection as my fingers felt the warmth of Cindy's back beneath her blouse. Just the feel of her bra strap made me almost have an orgasm right then and there, as I rediscovered the joys of being with a woman.

I fought the urge to do what I really wanted to do. I wanted to touch Cindy's breasts, longed to feel her naked body next to mine, and wanted to make love to her so badly I could scream.

I didn't. After several minutes of passionate necking, during which time Cindy evolved rapidly into an incredible kisser, I finally was able to gracefully slow the pace down.

"That was fun," Cindy said as we got ourselves together somewhat, and from the sound of her voice it was obvious that she was not against the prospect of continuing.

"Very fun," I told her, and when I looked over at her, Cindy's eyes were looking down.

I realized that Cindy was staring at the bulge in my camel colored slacks, and I felt myself flush with shame when I saw how obvious my arousal was.

"I was afraid I wouldn't be good at it," Cindy said, still looking down at my crotch, which was showing no sign of going away despite my shame. "Kissing, I mean."

My eyes strayed down to Cindy's chest, where the tiny outline of her nipple was visible despite the layers of clothing. The silky down on her arms was standing upright as well, and I silently cursed myself for stopping.

"Well, you're quite good at it, believe me."

"I could get better with more practice," Cindy said, and looked at me with those moist doe-like eyes.

10. My best friend.

Cindy went out with me several times over the next couple weeks. We would go to movies, or to dinner and inevitably end up in the place behind the shop. There we would watch television or chat, and eventually would begin making out on the couch.

Our kissing would become more passionate, and Cindy did get better, as she had promised, even though she was fine from the very start. The only problem was that after a few minutes, I would be getting very... excited. Cindy would to, or so it seemed.

It was at that point I would stop. I'd either go to the bathroom, or make up some reason to break it up.

It was after watching the movie 'Gaslight' one evening, when everything came to a head. We were necking up a storm, and things were proceeding as they always did. Just as I was thinking of a way to gracefully cool things off, I felt Cindy reach down and take my hand. Before I knew what was happening, Cindy was pulling it up to her breast.

I jerked my hand back like it was headed for a bear trap. Embarrassed, I tried to make light of what I had just done, but Cindy was not in the mood for chuckling or anything remotely similar. Cindy was, for lack of a better word, pissed.

"Look Adam, we have to talk," Cindy said sharply, brushing a stray hair from in front of her face and straightening up in the seat.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely. "I wasn't expecting you to do that and ..."

"Well, what's your problem then?" Cindy asked. "You must like me, for whatever reason, because you keep asking me out."

"I do like you, you know that!" I argued, almost slipping in a word that was more accurate than the word 'like'.

"Then why won't you touch me?" Cindy asked. "I know I don't have all that much up there, but I thought you would eventually at least give me a grope out of pity."

"That's silly! You're beautiful!"

"Then what's with the treating me like I'm radioactive? You always seem to like what we're doing," Cindy added, giving a glance down to my crotch, where the swelling had only just begun to subside. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"No," I said. "It's not you, it's me."

"What are you turning into now, George Costanza?" Cindy said, partially cooling the charged atmosphere.

I opened up to Cindy then. It wasn't her. It was me. I felt so happy when I was around her. I loved her company. I thought she was bright and witty and beautiful. I counted the minutes until we would be alone together. I loved making out with her.

"So?"

I explained to her that I felt guilty. Every time I wanted to go beyond what we were doing, a voice inside me would tell me to stop.

"Why?"

I told her I felt like a predator. She was so much younger than me. I felt like I was taking advantage of her. She was just a kid, and I was old enough to be her father, or worse.

When I finished, Cindy took a sip of her drink and then took my hand in hers.

"Look Adam," Cindy began, giving me that steely look of determination she always showed when faced with something difficult. "When I first started working for you, you always would baby me. Remember? I broke you of that habit, if you recall."

Indeed I did. From the first day, Cindy always refused any help that wasn't absolutely necessary, and earned my respect and admiration with every passing day. I started to tell her that, but she was on a roll.

"And when we first started going out, it was the same way. I like being treated like a lady - like something special, but I didn't let you baby me then either."