I wiped a tear that was streaming down my face before turning toward the voice behind me. It was Jennifer who sat in the desk next to me at work.
"I'm fine." I said.
"You don't look fine."
"It's my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone else and I just called him to tell him it's over. That's all."
"It will be okay, Lisa. There are plenty of better men out there."
"No. Not right away anyway. That's the third guy who I've caught cheating. Maybe it's me."
"Lisa. Listen to you. You are gorgeous. You got the blonde hair, thin figure, long legs and a face any model would die for."
I smiled and looked up at Jennifer. It was her that I thought was beautiful. She had that slender hour glass figure, full lips and dark hair. In fact, people thought we were sisters except for the hair. I always took it as a compliment when they accused us of being twins. I always figured it was because we spent so much time together; except of course when I was involved in my brief relationships. I loved every minute Jennifer and I spent together. We had become close friends over the past year.
"You and me, tonight; on the town." Jennifer said.
One night turned into two and two turned into three. Jennifer and I spent the entire weekend bar hopping, club hopping, shopping and even took in a movie. By Monday I had forgotten about what's his name.
Over the next month Jennifer and I spent a lot of time together. I told her she didn't have to go out so much with me just to keep me entertained. She said she was trying to wean herself off of men for a while also. Her last boyfriend didn't cheat on her, but he was a jerk. She was pickier in her choice of men that I was. As long as they were good looking, I fell for them. Unfortunately, so did other women. In the long run the Adonis looking men were more often self centered and not as good in bed as you might think.
"So when are you going to start dating again? You've been without a boyfriend longer than I have Jen?" I said as we sat at her kitchen table eating ice cream after another night on the town. There was nothing special about the question. After all, Jennifer and I talked about everything from men to toiletry products but for some reason that night, at that kitchen table and right after that question, is when something happened and I learned something that would change our relationship forever.
"I don't know." She said.
"Come on. We can't avoid men forever."
"Sure we can. It isn't hard."
"Like you would know." I took a big bite of ice cream. I then got one of those brain freeze things. You know, when you eat something so cold you get a brief headache. My mouth quickly warmed it up and as it melted the freeze pain went away. I looked at Jennifer and realized she hadn't said anything. She was just looking at me as I licked ice cream off my spoon.
"What?" I asked.
"I was just thinking." She said.
"I do know."
"You do know what?"
"I do know what it's like to be without a man for a while."
"How so?" I took another bite and waited on the brain freeze but it never came. So I took a bigger bite next time. I was glad the ice cream was fat free.
"Lisa, there's something I haven't told you."
"You can tell me anything, Jennifer."
"I know but I didn't want it to hurt our friendship."
I motioned for her to go on. I even put my spoon down because she started to act so serious.
"Well." She continued. Jennifer leaned toward me and lowered her voice a bit. Her eyes drifted down, like she did when she was trying to hide something. I knew her so well. I thought.
"Jennifer, when I was in college I didn't have a boyfriend."
"Lisa, that's not a big deal. I only had one and he thought he was God's gift to women. He was captain of the cheerleading team. People thought he was gay 'cause he was good looking and a cheerleader so he overcompensated by..."
"No Lisa. I had a relationship but it was with another girl."
I had started to pick up my spoon for more ice cream but I put it back down. I then wished I hadn't said anything about my boyfriend that people thought was gay. I don't know why.
"Oh. Well, that's okay Jennifer. What's wrong with that?"
"I was afraid if you knew I once dated a woman that, well you'd feel uncomfortable about us being such close friends."
"No. I think its fine. I guess you do know how it is to be without a man." As soon as I said it, I regretted the words. But I was suddenly curious and had a thousand questions; but was afraid to ask any of them.
"So it doesn't change anything?" She asked.
"No. Absolutely not. In fact, what was it like?"
"Being without a man?"
"Or being with a woman?"
"Well, I know what it's like being without a man. I mean we've been best friends for over a year. I thought we knew each other's secrets. We tell each other everything and we've been so close. And you've never acted like...like, I don't know...."
"Acted like I've had a woman before; that I like women?"
"Well yea. You've never come on to me." Again I regretted the words as soon as they came out. But I was so accustomed to us talking about everything and suddenly I felt like I might say something that would offend my best friend.
"Well, you're my closest friend. I didn't tell you and I've never 'come on' to you as you put it because I never would jeopardize our friendship."
"So you don't think, I'm attractive?"
"Lisa, that's not the point."
"And what's the point?"
"You're not turned on by women. You're turned on by men. I happen to be turned on by both, that's all."
"What if I was? You'd never come on to me?"
"Lisa, we're friends and you've never been interested in women. Alright?"
So we dropped it that night. I tried to not act any different. But I couldn't get the image of Jennifer making love to another woman out of my head. I guess a lot of women wondered what it was like. I even brought up the point two weeks later that she had never answered my question of what it was like to be with another woman. But the courage to ask again was prompted by several drinks in a bar one night and Jennifer refused to discuss it. Her excuse was that I was not thinking clearly. She said it was the alcohol asking so we dropped it again.
By the time another two weeks passed, I was fantasizing about making love to another woman. I don't know why but just knowing that my best friend had experienced being in love with a woman aroused my curiosity. But that curiosity turned into more. I wanted to know what it was like, how it felt. I began looking at women and realizing how beautiful they were. I realized how beautiful Jennifer was.
It was at that point that I began to avoid her for a few days. But it was not because of my new found knowledge of her. It was because I now feared that if I shared my sudden feelings; I would be rejected and I couldn't handle that. I started getting this funny feeling inside when I was around Jennifer, like little butterflies. But Jennifer had made it clear we were friends and nothing more.
I was confused. I wanted to go out with Jennifer like we usually did but then again I didn't. If I was with her my heart beat faster. It never did before. But when I was alone all I could think about was her; her silky hair, bright smile, quick laugh and that sparkle in her eyes. Every time we ever touched hands or hugged each other replayed through my mind searching for clues that she might have a greater interest in me than just her friend. Even my dreams were filled with images of what her naked body looked like and how it felt to be touched by her in a sensual manner.
About a week after I started avoiding Jennifer my doorbell rang. When I opened the door there she was looking like she was ready to go out on the town. Her dark hair glistened off her shoulders. She was wearing a black dress with sequins that shimmered against the light from a nearby lampstand. I caught myself admiring how it clung tightly to her shapely figure but my admiration was broken quickly as she entered, closing the door behind her.
"Something wrong?" She said.
"No. I've just been busy is all."
"I knew I shouldn't have told you about my college experience."
"Jennifer it's not that. If it had been that, I would have avoided you two months ago. It's been two months since you told me, remember?"
"Well, you haven't called all week."
I sat down on the couch. I already had my silk pajamas on. A nice shower after work, pajamas and next was TV for a while before going to bed early; I just couldn't go out, not yet. I had feelings to sort out.
"You want the truth?" I looked up at Jennifer. She was all I had really. I'd been keeping it inside for two months.
"I'd appreciate it." She said.
"I couldn't get out of my head about you loving a woman."
"I knew it."
"No listen. It's not what you think. I was curious. I guess I've always been curious. You know, about women...being with each other. Now knowing someone who's been there, I wanted to know. But I'm afraid."
"Afraid I'll come on to you?"
"No... afraid you won't."
The silence was deafening. Jennifer had her arms folded as she stood in my apartment living room. I just sat there with my legs folded beneath me and started to cry. I composed myself after a few moments. Jennifer didn't say anything. So I filled the silence.
"I think you're beautiful Jennifer. We've always been so close. And after that night two months ago, it's all I can think about. All I think about, fantasize about is you. Rather than not wanting to be with you, I suddenly had this desire to act on my curiosity and...I don't know be with you more, you know. But I think you might not want me. That I might not the type of woman...well, the type of woman you'd be attracted to."
"Lisa, when you've asked me about what it's like to be with a woman; I just figured you were being polite, making conversation or it was alcohol talking."
"Well, it was more than curiosity and I'm not drunk right now. I've thought about it so much; I think I'm having stronger feelings for you beyond being friends is all. I haven't called because I'm afraid of rejection again. I just figured you didn't want to tell me more because you could never see me in that way."
I nodded. There it was out. Now she could leave and I could face another two months recovering from another rejection.
"Oh Lisa. That's not it at all." She knelt down beside the sofa. She put her hand on my knee. I wished she hadn't done that. Electricity seemed to run from her hand through my body. Tears streamed from my eyes. I tried not to look at her as she reached up and wiped a tear from my face and continued.
"Lisa, I think you're beautiful. You're one of the most beautiful women I know. Why do you think I first became friends with you? I sat at my desk that first day and couldn't take my eyes off your slender legs. I imagined how soft your lips were. I was totally taken by you and how beautiful you are but I knew I could never let on. You always had boyfriends."
She paused and took a deep breath. I looked down at her as she knelt and searched my eyes and continued.
"Lisa, I never came on to you because I was afraid of losing you. The more we spent time together, the more I wanted to be with you. You don't know how hard it was not ever telling you that I was attracted to women. That I was attracted to you."
The silence hung in the air again. I now searched her eyes. There was something different. Her eyes drank me in. She looked at her hand on my knee and caressed the silk fabric of my pajamas for a moment. Then silently she stood up.
As she stepped back her hands went behind her. With a quick zip and snap, her dress fluttered to the floor. Before I could recover from the vision of her standing in front of me in only a lace fringed bra and French cut panties they too dropped to the floor; first her bra, then her panties.
Jennifer was naked. Her smooth skin shimmered in the low light of my living room. She kicked her clothes across the carpeted floor and brushed her silky hair from her shoulders. She then stood silently; her legs slightly spread and her hands on her hips.
She was even more beautiful naked; more beautiful than I imagined. Her hair curved behind her shoulders, her breasts were full and slightly larger than mine and her hips had that sensual feminine curve that rounded softly over her firm buttocks then down to her toned thighs.
I felt a wetness growing between my own thighs. I became aware that I never wore panties under my pajamas and I certainly didn't wear a bra to bed so my nipples were now erect and pressing against the fabric of my night clothes.
The vision of my naked friend was overwhelming. Slowly I rose from the couch and stepped over to her. I'm not quite sure I knew what I was going to do but I had to touch her. My hand slowly reached out for her breast. I had never touched another woman's breast before. Just inches from her nipple I paused. My heart was pounding. My legs were suddenly weak.
Jennifer reached out and touched my hand, then guided my hand to her breast. It was warm. Though firm it was soft as well and felt nice. I touched her other breast and caressed it as well. Her nipples were erect, like my own.
She reached for my pajamas. It was a single thin pajama top that I just threw over my head every night. It was comfortable and being one piece it was easy to slip on. But now it was uncomfortable as my nipples strained against the fabric and Jennifer slipped it easily over my head to remove it. Instantly I too was naked.
Jennifer caressed my breasts and rubbed her thumbs over my sensitive nipples. Her touch was warm and tingled. I watched as she lovingly cupped my breasts, something no man had ever done. I watched her every caress of my breasts with fascination. She then placed a finger beneath my chin and lifted it up so that we were face to face.
I'm sure she could hear my heart which pounded loudly. My chest heaved with every breath as if I had just finished my morning run. Goosebumps raised on my skin. I could feel a burning deep inside me and realized it was desire; lustful desire. I wanted her.
Jennifer's face moved slowly toward mine. I leaned forward and closed my eyes as our lips met. Our breath mingled. Her tongue tested mine and mine tested hers. They flickered expectantly, cautiously back and force with our lips barely touching. It was not yet a kiss. Jennifer made it last, made you want more. No man had done that either.
Her lips, lightly touching mine glided slowly back and forth along my mouth as if finding the perfect spot; it was heavenly. Her lips were smooth, like velvet. Our tongues still flickered from time to time until I couldn't stand it any longer. I pressed my lips to hers and we kissed.
It was gentle and light at first. Then we opened our mouths further and deepened the kiss. Our tongues found each other again and instead of probing they danced. Entwining themselves they swirled in a forbidden erotic dance.
She touched my shoulders sending shivers down my body. As we kissed she rubbed her hands down my back and pulled me close to her warm body. Our breasts pressed against each other. Her hands roamed over my naked skin.
My hand found her hip. Slowly I let it follow the curvature of her buttock until I could caress her ass. It was as firm as I had imagined. My body was suddenly on fire. Every fiber was electrified.
I wanted this woman. I wanted her more than anything. Her touch was softer than a man's, she was gentle and kind; she was loving. My hand traced up her spine. I ran my fingers through her hair.
We broke off our kiss and looked deeply into each other's eyes.
"I love you Jennifer." I whispered.
"You love another woman?"
"Yes. I want you."
"You want to know the love of a woman?"
"More than anything." I gasped. My chest still heaved, my heart pounded. I didn't know what to do. But I did know I didn't want to stop. My pussy ached, my legs were weak and I wanted more.
Jennifer brushed my hair back. She then touched my cheek and kissed me gently.
"Lisa. I want you to know that I've loved you from the moment we met." Her words were as soft as her touch. She took my hand and led me to the couch. We sat and kissed again, wrapping our arms around each other. We then laid down and our bodies entwined as we kissed deeply again and again.
Our bodies were now pressed against each other as she lay on top while our lips searched and probed each other's mouths. Her pussy brushed against mine. Both of us were clean shaven and I instinctively pressed my pussy upward against hers as if trying to fuck her. I rubbed my pussy against her. It ached. It needed to be filled.
Soon she moved to my neck then suckled my breasts. Fireworks went off in my head feeling the warmth of a woman sucking my nipples. I didn't think it could get any better.
Jennifer kissed her way down my stomach. Unconsciously, I spread my legs as she positioned herself between my thighs. I felt her breath against my pussy. My heart pounded harder. Just like our kiss, she lightly explored my pussy with her tongue.
First she flicked the tip of her tongue on the outer edges of my pussy and kissed my inner thighs. Occasionally she'd lick the inner lips of my pussy but would resume her light kisses and flickering tongue. I've been eaten by men before but they were too anxious, too quick.
And with men, I felt like I was doing something for them before they'd plunge a dick inside of me. It was like I was their lustful plaything for the moment for them to quickly suck, lick then fuck. I never felt vulnerable with a man. Sex was almost impersonal.
But suddenly I felt vulnerable. I felt more like a woman. She was giving to me and I was giving myself to her. It was more than a swift physical act.
Jennifer was skillful. She was patient. She was always taking me to the edge and bringing me back. Soon I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran my fingers through my lover's hair. I spread my legs wide and tried to arch my pussy toward her face.
"Oh Jennifer. I want you."
Her tongue pierced my pussy deeply then licked my clitoris. Sparkles appeared before my eyes and I felt my already wet pussy flow with juices as she licked and kissed. Her mouth sucked every part of my pussy and filled every need, every twitch. She sucked my clitoris and ate my pussy as I grabbed her head and held her tight between my thighs. My chest heaved in gulps of air as my heart pounded for release. I didn't want her to stop.
Her hands had been under my buttocks while her lips and mouth made love to my pussy. As she tongue fucked me I felt her finger briefly enter my pussy and once well lubricated with my wetness, she probed the entrance to my ass hole as she lapped my juices.
My pussy was already pulsating and my ass relaxed when I felt her slip a finger easily within. My rectal sphincter gripped her finger and my pussy twitched, flooding her tongue with wetness. Like a cat, my back arched and my pelvis forced itself against her face as a spasm gripped every muscle in my body. My head began to swim in ecstasy as she inhaled my pussy and her finger plunged inside my rectum.
The orgasm washed over me like a tidal wave. My vision narrowed as if looking down a tunnel. I held my breath. My heart skipped. Moans escaped from my lips that didn't sound like my own. It was a deep guttural groan that started in my abdomen and erupted through my throat. I'd never made such erotic, involuntary sounds before. I had no control over my body at all.
I gave myself to her at that moment. I was no longer my own. As wave after wave of orgasmic warmth continued to consume me I looked down at the beauty between my legs. Suddenly I became aware of how personal it was for someone to love me like this. And how I had to open myself and fully reveal myself in a most vulnerable manner to give myself to someone; to really let go. I'd never given myself fully to anyone until now.