Vitiated Love

Hello Once again. I recognize that the last story of mine was a little.... Lacking, to put it kindly. So, I decided to go back to my roots a little bit. Now, I was told to include more visual cues as far as characters are concerned, but when the chips are down, Love isn't about looks, it's about the person under the make-up, behind the eyes, whether stormy grey or dark as night. The secrets hidden behind someone's eyes are what makes them, them.

So, I don't factor in looks.

Also, this is a fairly long story, anyone looking for a quickie might want to conside going elsewhere. Like I said, I'm going back to my roots. That means longer stories. As always, leave feedback, and tell me whether I should do more like this

Enjoy =D

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"Tears are not bittersweet because of the acidic feeling while they fall, but because of the loving touch of the person who wipes them away"

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"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination" Levictus Chapter 18, Verse 20.

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CHAPTER ONE: Feelings Re-Awakened.

'Goddamn it that hurt'

Ashley woke up with a throbbing headache and a pounding in her left arm. When she tried to move it, a sharp pain made her re-think her next move. She sat up and held her arm as it sent shooting pain all the way through her. She looked around at the trashed house.

She remembered exactly what happened; she had come home with her lover in tow to finally leave Charles' sorry ass. When he found out, well, let's just say 'apeshit' would be putting it lightly.

She wondered how the hell she had come to lying down on the floor of her own house waiting for Death to finally claim her....

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Ashley was a Christian. Plain and simple. Devout and honest, kind and thoughtful. She always attended the meetings, Sundays had become a time to socialise with her 'freinds' in the community. But she harboured a secret. A dangerous secret. A secret that would destroy everything she stood for.

For ten years she had been in a loveless marriage. A marriage where her husband had become her dictator. A marriage of convenience, mostly to him than to her. A marriage where sex had become a chore. Her only savior was a bottle of Bourbon under her desk at work. Yes it was a sin, but wasn't everything about her? She was living a lie, Strike One.

She drank, Strike Two.

She was gay. Strike Three.

She shook her head to clear that last thought. She poured another glass, taking a sip and letting the liquid courage warm her inside. Ten years hadn't been fought in vain. She was over it. These feelings, unpure feelings, were halted. Weren't they? But, ten years of repression and abuse hadn't been kind to her. At least in her own eyes. No-one said she was beautiful anymore. Not even her husband.

All she got was daily chastening for making more money than him, for dinner being late, for her generally having a life. And if she did something wrong, well, let's just say she had the scars. Mental and physical.

She hated people like that. Abusive control freaks that thought they knew how she should live her life. She had got enough shit like that from that slut waiting just outside the door.

She shook her head. The bourbon had never acted so fast. Maybe it was just the culmination of the entire week's events. Having her husband hit her was bad enough, but taking shit from her PA, Kylie, and falling head over heels in love with her boss Jennifer, had taken their toll. She had bags under her eyes from endless hours lying awake in bed, trying both to untangle the knotted ball of complicated yarn that was her life, and trying to stop her 'beloved' husband from touching her. The thought of his hands on her body...

She shuddered and downed the entire glass of bourbon, contemplating pouring another glass. She felt a hot trail of tears fall down her cheek and quickly wiped them away. She had never given in before, why should now be any different? She thought herself stronger than that.

She stole a glance at the clook and cursed under her breath. It was nearly 5pm. It was nearly time to go home. She needed another drink before then.

She was about to pour another glass when the door opened and in stepped Kylie. She took one look at her smeared mascara, dishevelled hair, glass in hand and bottle in the other, and walked right out the door. A concieted smirk upon her face.

'Great' Ashley thought. 'That's probably me fired then. At least Charles will get his wish'

She sighed and set the bottle back under her desk along with the glass, and began packing her stuff. There wasn't much. A pencil, a sharpener, and a picture of her and her mother.

She let out a single tear at the thought of her mother. Charles hadn't exactly wanted reletives in close proximity. Probably so she couldn't run to someone she could trust when he hit her.

Now, she was stuck in this dead end job, dead end career, dead end life. Literally. If she didn't die very soon, either from a broken heart or a fatal blow from her husband, then she would be very surprised. Those fears of her husband losing control and killing her were very plausible. He came home drunk more than ever. Now that she was fired, he would never let her out of the house.

The door opened just as she finished putting the last object in her desk.

"Going somehwere Ashley?" She heard Kylie say with all the contempt she could muster, and Ashley had to grind her teeth and clench her fists to stop from punching her square in the mouth to shut her up.

She calmed herself. With all the self control she could muster. If she was violent, then how would she be any better than Charles?

She turned, and there was her boss, Jennifer. Looking so beautiful standing there with the light behind her, the golden yellow of it melding with her hair perfectly. Ashley's breath hitched, and even though she knew she was about to be fired, even though every ounce of her mind screamed at her to stop thinking these unpure thoughts, she couldn't help herself.

"Kylie, would you leave us for a minute?" she asked and Kylie smirked again, walking out of the door and closing it behind her with another glance at Ashley.

She didn't notice, Ashley was too busy revlling in her silk voice. Focussing her self control on not smacking Kylie upside her head, she hadn't expected to nearly lose it when Jennifer spoke.

"Ashley" she said, concern in her voice, and Ashley just nodded. It was all she could do at the time.

"Kylie tells me you were drinking again" she said, sitting down across her desk and motioning her to do the same.

Ashley nodded, refusing to let the tears come as she felt them, hot behind her eyes.

"Would you like to tell me why?" she asked softly, so softly that Ashley barely heard her. Ashley watched her smooth the creases out of her business suit.

Ashley shook her head, both to calm her raging imagination about what lay under that dress, and to answer Jennifer's question. Jennifer sighed, leaning forward. "Ashley, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" she asked and Ashley nodded quickly, Jennifer smiled. "So, why were you drinking on the job again?"

Ashley shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I just" she said, then trying again. "I needed a pick-me-up" she said, her voice breaking slightly, the first time, unable to meet Jennifer's probing brown eyes.

"Okay" she said with a smile, Before she glanced at the underside of the desk.

"Could you spare some?" she asked, reaching under the desk and pulling out two glasses, Ashley just stared at her and nodded. "Sure" she said, and before she knew it, she was pouring two glasses of Bourbon.

Jennifer took one with her slender fingers and took a sip, watching Ashley closely before raising her glass.

"A toast" she said with a smile. "To very bad days" she said and Ashley smiled. "Understatement of the year award" she muttered and Jennifer's smile disappeared, concern written on her face.

"Ashley, what's wrong?" she asked but Ashley waved her hand, glancing at the clock on the wall. "Damn, I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow" Ashley said as she grabbed her coat.

"That is, if I'm not fired?" she asked somewhat half-heartedly, expecting the answer already.

Jennifer shrugged "I don't know. You think you can handle Kylie's offhand remarks about me being soft on you?"

Ashley's smile encompassed her whole face as she nodded. "Yeah"

As Ashley walked out of her office, she saw Kylie looking at her with that smug smirk, and she could swear she could see a laugh there waiting to come out.

She just smiled politely and walked towards the elevator. "I've been doing it for ten years" she said to herself as the doors closed.

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Jennifer was worried about her. In all the years Ashley had been working at their firm, Jennifer had never seen a glimpse into Ashley's personal life.

Sure, she had read the file and knew she was married to the Bishop, that's actually part of the reason she had never made a move like she had wanted to do for so long, but, Jennifer had caught her drinking on the job before and had asked her to stop, at least at work, but having Kylie snitch to her had told Jennifer that whatever was going on was serious, and Ashley thought that a bottle of hard liqour would solve her problems.

Jennifer stood at the window and watched Ashley making her way to the bus stop. She noticed that Ashley was walking extremely slowly.

Ashley cast a look up at her and Jennifer smiled, waving, glad that Ashley made the effort to wave back. Albiet a bit weakly.

Jennifer's hand dropped and Ashely began walking away again. Jennifer's hand idly traced the window as she watched her small form walk inexorably out of the parking lot and down to the bus stop.

She pulled away when she realised the shape her hand had inadvertantly drawn on the window.

She grabbed her coat and keys, walking out of the door. Telling Kylie to hurry up and lock up. Walking out of the office, leaving behind fingerprints that drew a heart on the window.

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The wait for the bus was excruciating. Especially since she saw one pull away and tried to run after it. In heels. Bus drivers of course are heartless.

Cursing her wardrobe choice she leant on the post and had to wait for another bus before she could go home. Not that she wanted to.

She heard her phone vibrate and pulled it out of her handbag only to unsnap the strap and hear everything fall on the pavement.

'Great' she thought, kneeling down to try and pick up her purse, her makeup and everything else she had concealed.

She looked at her phone to see a text message from her husband asking where the hell she was.

She sighed and picked everything up as best she could, placing everything she could find back in her bag before trying to make sense of what had happened to the strap.

As the rain began, she silently cursed whatever God was up there that she had once believed in, now was vehemently cursing with all the words in her vocabulary.

Her hair became matted to her face and her soaked clothes adhered to her body. Her raven hair tangled together when she ran her hands through it in frustration.

She didn't notice the car pulling up and the window roll down. She didn't notice Jennifer until she spoke in that silky voice of hers.

"Need a lift?" she asked and Ashley whirled around, smiling when she saw Jennifer.

"No, I'd prefer to wait for the bus" she said, knowing that accepting a lift from Jennifer would mean two things; being in close proximity with someone she shouldn't be attracted to but was, and getting home quicker. Something she didn't want to do.

"In this weather? Honey, you'll catch your death out here" she said and Ashley shivered, mostly because of the use of that particular endearment.

Ashley looked around and sighed. She had a good point regardless.

She walked around to the passenger side of the car and got in, closing it and trying to get her hair in some resemblance of order.

Jennifer watched her intently, letting her eyes wander over her generous curves, the ample swell of her chest as she took her breaths.

Jennifer shook her head and placed her hands on the steering wheel, and cleared her throat, making Ashley look at her with those beautiful Cobalt eyes.

Jennifer looked at the road. "So, where do you live or do I just keep circling until I find it?" she asked with a coy grin making Ashley smile. She told her where she lived and Jennifer set off. Ashley was now thanking her stars that Jennifer seemingly took her time.

"So, Ashley, tell me, why were you drinking on the job again?" she asked and Ashley just sat there, gaping like a drowning fish in air.

"I, uh, I..."

"It's okay. Ashley, in ten years I've come to think of you as more than my worker. You're my friend. You can tell me anything. Better me than the company therepist, yeah?" she said and Ashley had to chuckle at that last remark.

A tear made its way out of her eye and she turned away. No one should see her cry.

"Why would you care, why would anyone care about me?" Ashley asked and Jennifer scoffed, slamming on the brakes.

"For God's sake Ashley I'm worried about you, okay? Whatever problems you have, the solutions are not at the bottom of a glass! I've told you this before and by Christ I'll tell you a million more times if that's what it takes!" She all but yelled and Ashley flinched, more out of reflex than anything else.

"And besides, when a confident, beautiful woman like you tries to drink herself into a stupor at work, then whatever's going on is bad"

That remark cost Ashley her focus. Having Jennifer call her beautiful was shocking. Everything else was just too much. She had to tell someone. It was eating her up.

"It's Charles" she admitted, her head still turned. Jennifer watched her expectantly.

"What about him? Is he cheating? Drinking? Hiting you? What is it?" she asked, and Ashley scoffed. "All of the above. At least I think"

Jennifer was torn, between an insane disire to pull the woman close and comfort her, and also a very powerful urge to kill the heartless Son of a bitch that had caused this woman so much grief.

Jennifer gasped when Ashley pulled up her sleeves, showing angry purple bruises that seemed very recent.

Jennifer traced her finger over one gently and Ashley shuddered. Jennifer pulled back, hoping she hadn't hurt her.

Ashley wiped away her makeup, at least, Jennifer thought she had only wiped away half of it. The blackness around her eye wasn't Mascara.

"Bastard" she muttered, gripping the steering wheel.

"How long?" Jennifer asked and Ashley wiped away her tears. "How long have we been married? About 11 years nearly"

Jennifer gasped. "You have to call the police on this asshole" she said and Ashley laughed.

"And have him kill me? No. He's made it perfectly clear what he'd do. And I don't want to risk it"

Jennifer reached across and took her arms, forcing her to look into Jennifers Emerald eyes.

"Ashley, you have to be brave, be strong, you have to tell someone who can actually do something about it" She said, and Ashley tried to break the grip, but it merely tightened around her arms.

"Let go.." Ashley pleaded, looking away, but Jennifer wouldn't.

"He has his hooks in you so deep that you don't even realise that he's slowly destroying you"

"Please, take me home...."

"No! I love you too much to watch him do this to you. Why do you let him do it?"

"Because I deserve it!!" Ashley yelled, and Jennifer dropped her hands slowly. Ashley put her head in her hands and sobbed. Jennifer watched her silently, unable to process that information.

"Why?" Jennifer asked quietly, and Ashley just shook her head. "So many people have said that to me, why else would they say it if it wasn't true?"

Jennifer was shocked. Here was this beautiful woman, taking abuse and willingly.

Jennifer started tmoving the car again and moved it forward, leaving Ashley to her thoughts.

Ashley's mind was in turmoil. Jennifer had said three words. Three very special words that made her heart jump with joy, but also made her control completely disintegrate and made her bare her soul to this magical woman sitting next to her. Then, there was this little piece of her mind programmed by Charles, her Father, and even her Mother, that screamed at her for being an unholy slut for thinking these things about a woman, and that was the part she was listening to right now.

When Jennifers car stopped outside her house, Ashley watched it like a person might watch a snake, or a gizelle might eye a tiger.

"Right now" Jennifer said "There are two choices. One, you go in there, and I leave this alone. The issue will not be pressed. Option two, you come with me, to the police station, and we put this son of a bitch behind bars"

Ashley continued to look at her house. The options were good, but to her, they meaned two things; die slowly, or die quickly.

She looked at Jennifer, hurt written over her face. "Please, leave me alone"

With that, she got out of the car and walked towards her house, her prison. Her death.

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Ashley packed whatever she could. She couldn't find Charles or Jennifer anywhere in the house. Nothing was there, save for a note. From Charles.

'Your 'Lover' is with me. We're at the Gregory Melkovich Catholic School. When you wake up, meet us there. Or I do something that I really don't want to do.

-Charles'

Ashley read the note and screwed it up before letting it drop. She picked up whatever she could carry and headed out the door. Taking one last look around the place that had been her only home in the last eleven years. In all that time she never realised just how unfounded the word 'home' had been to describe her prison.

She closed the door. One way or another, she wasn't coming back to this place.

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CHAPTER TWO: The Revelation

Ashley woke up that morning. As usual, her husband wasn't there. He was probably in some motel room with an unnamed hooker, or she hoped, lying in a ditch with nothing but a broken whiskey bottle and severe injuries.

She shook her head. No matter what he did, he was still her husband. Though she was loath to call him that right now.

Last night hadn't been good. Three new bruises and a brun on her arm, but, today was Saturday. She had to run errands, do housework, because Charles sure as hell wasn't going to do anything he vehemently deemed to be 'woman's work'

She placed the dirty clothes in the washing machine and turned it on. That should give her three hours to run around, getting a cake for her sister's birthday, and organising the Church Fundraiser for The Trust For The Prevention Of Abuse.

She had to laugh at the irony.

Leaving the machine to do its work, she stepped out of the door and walked to the bus stop, taking the bus into the town, stopping off at a delightful bakery she had bought her sister's cake at last year, knowing full well how much she liked their pastries, cakes and assorted Baked Goods.

She slipped the Birthday Cake into her handbag and slung it over her shoulder as she caught another bus to her house.

Her sister was pleased to see her, and even though they hadn't seen each other in little over a year, she had to marvel at how well they still got along, despite Georgias sexual preferences.

It never surprised Ashley that Georgia sometimes had 1, maybe two lovers at any one time, she had often come to expect a new face evrytime she had come around, but this time, Georgia had found someone she thought she could spend the rest of her life with, and her name was Kayleigh.