tagInterracial LoveWait Ch. 02

Wait Ch. 02

byIrian©

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******

He opened the door to her house, turning the key quietly as she stood impatiently beside him. As the door creaked open, she pushed in front of him, not allowing him time to remove the key from the door. He watched as she stomped up the steps, hearing her door slam shut as he pulled the door closed behind him, locking it.

Hearing the air conditioning coming to life, he checked his watch, seeing that it was almost six o'clock. He briefly thought about cancelling his class, knowing he was in no mood to give direction. He sat on the couch in front of the decrepit television, admiring how much had gone on in it's black reflection. How many saturday mornings had he spent sitting in front of it, bonding over their favorite cartoons? How many times had he fallen asleep listening to infomercial in the early mornings, exhausted from the adventures they had during the day? Sixteen years worth. Not much had changed about the items in the house, each brown couch and black end table just the same as it always had been. Minus one person enjoying its comforts.

He felt his eyes drifting closed, his arms crossing over his chest as he yawned. He closed his eyes, promising himself only a few minutes. Just until he worked up the energy to apologize.

"E.J.?" He saw her lips curling with happiness as she smiled at him, the sun shining through her hair as the breeze pushed it along her shoulders. He watched his thumb glide along her mixed pink and brown lips, lingering over the mark above. His pale fingers chilling the warm tones of her hue. "I love you."

"E.J.?" He sat upright as he woke, seeing Vee above him. He clutched the blanket covering his shoulders, pulling it down as he tried to remember if he had placed it on himself. "Good morning, don't you have class soon?" He checked his watch, his eyes bulging as he saw the time. Thirty minutes until ten, he shot up off the couch, wiping his eyes as he fumbled for his keys.

Having only just arrived home, she looked around with him spotting them on the hallway table. As Marian came down the stairs, stuffing a book into her large purse, she smiled evilly. She snuck closer to the table, slipping the keys off of it and into her jacket pocket. "Are you ready to go mom?" She asked as she came closer, looking up from her purse, seeming unsurprised at his presence.

"I don't know." She lifted her hands, falsely looking around her as she pretended to look for Eun's keys. "E.J. lost his keys and he has class soon. I'd hate for him to be late. Why don't you two take my car for class this morning, while I stay and look for your keys?"

Marian avoided looking at him, hearing him stutter as he contemplated. He looked down at his clothes, knowing he had nowhere near enough time to drop her off and change. Seeing him struggle, she spoke to him, not making eye contact. "You still have clothes upstairs. I don't want to be late."

Knowing she was right, He nodded his head, wasting no time as he went to the spare bedroom.

****

He drove through her silence, seeing her scrolling through her phone as they sat together. He understood her anger, knowing he deserved every ounce of hatred she brewed for him. But wasn't it better this way? Allowing her to be upset for the good of their family? Why didn't it feel right?

As his phone vibrated on the console between them, she looked down at the lit screen, seeing his father's name appear. "It's your dad." She hovered a finger over it, waiting for him to say whether or not she should answer.

"Go ahead." She heard him cough lightly clearing his throat as he sat up straighter behind the wheel. She began to slide her finger across it, looking at him closely as she hesitated, knowing how their talks affected him. His old dark grey college sweater puffed around his arms, his watch tight to his white wrist as he his hands smoothed over the brown leather steering wheel. "Hello?"

She rested against the chair as she heard him switch to Korean, his parents being fully bilingual like him, but choosing to speak in their language primarily. She bit her lip, hearing the odd pull to his voice that she loved when he spoke in his tongue. It reminded her how special he was, even though there were countless others who spoke it just the same.

"When are you coming home to clear your bedroom? The renovation is in two days. I've been asking you to come for weeks."

Only understanding a few words, it was easy for her to gather that his father was unhappy. She considered herself conversational, only because she could understand when he spoke it slowly to her, and was capable of saying the most minute phrases back.

"I'll be there tomorrow, I have to-"

"No. Be here today. If you had chosen to practice you wouldn't be wasting time the way you are now. Doctors do not procrastinate this way."

He fought the groan he was holding as his father continued to rant, his speech speeding up as he worked himself into the same fluster he did each time they spoke. He was thankful it was few and far in between, he always knew just how to work his choice to become a teacher into every argument, shaming him for his decisions. "Understood." He said in parting as he finished, hearing the line click as he hung up.

She felt his body rising in heat as they continued to sit in silence. She shifted in her seat, holding her arms as she rubbed her skin, the blast of the vents chilling her. Remembering that she hadn't worn a bra, she looked down at her chest, seeing the fabric stretched across her stiff nipples. She lifted her arms higher.

He chose a parking spot in the visitors garage, putting the car in park in the relatively empty lot. She watched him get out, not turning the car off. She grabbed her purse from the backseat, sliding out as he opened the door for her. She lowered the hem of her yellow dress as it moved up her body against the car seat, her feet touching the ground in front of him.

Looking into his eyes for the first time since the night before, she saw the despair behind them, recognizing the emotion that gripped him each and every time he was forced to remember his commitments. Feeling suddenly guilty, she debated with herself, the hurt inside of her screaming that he deserved the pain for the way he had treated her. But her heart shaking in need to comfort him as her love for him overpowered her mind. "I'm sorry your dad is being so-"

"Have a good day at school, Marian." He saw her eyes harden again as he interrupted her attempt to be empathetic.

She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head as she gripped the handles of her bag. Why had she expected him to react differently? Ashamed that she had tried to comfort him, she walked away, not wanting him to see that she was close to crying again.

He hung his head as he saw her heart continuing to break, smelling the remnants of her shadow in front of him as she walked away. But as he heard the euphonious tone of her voice in his ear, 'I love you Eun.' He looked after her, reminded that only she had said so to him. "Marian?" He called after her, knowing she would not look back.

***

He opened the door to his office, glad that they always had spares in Admissions. He moved quickly, collecting his laptop and notes as he swept through the room, unaware that he was being watched until knocking rung against the wooden door.

He turned, seeing Tracy as she sat red and blue books on his desk. "Hello Ms. Bak. What can I do for you?"

She rolled her eyes at his formality, tasting her bitterness against the roof of her mouth. "Professor Turian wanted me to bring you these. And he said he owes you a bottle of moonshine. Whatever that means."

He smiled at her, knowing what he meant. It was his own fault, he needed to stop making bets with his Professors his senior. They always cheapened the rewards they had to relinquish when they realized that he was their equal, and in some cases their better. But he took no pride in it, knowing he only did his best to listen and learn as much as he could.

He saw the look in her eyes. "Tracy. Wait." She turned back to him slowly, folding her arms across her chest as her pantsuit scrunched at her hips from her leaning. "Really, I apologize for the way things went between us. I should have been more honest about how I felt."

Shocked at his sincerity, she stopped leaning. Not once had he apologized for his feelings, his actions. He was overwhelmingly careful, never making moves he would need to utter an apology for. "Are you feeling alright?"

He nodded his head. "Yeah, look. You definitely deserve better, and I'm sorry I couldn't be that for you." When they had started it had been fun, a whirlwind they had kept secret from their peers. Knowing that Tracy was technically an intern and not a student was no buffer. His close relationship with her mentor had made it almost impossible for him to go without seeing her. He knew it was wrong to say, but it was absolutely the call of her body that brought him in. It was only after that he had found that she had a honeyed personality, and a heart three times larger than anyone else's. But it hadn't kept him from Marian like he had hoped. It hadn't stopped him from fantasizing about her, even if Tracy laid underneath him. Apart of him had known she wouldn't make him forget, but it hadn't stopped him from trying, at the expense of her feelings.

She nodded silently, not making it better, but giving her understanding. What had she done to not be enough for him? She had tried her hardest, always available when he called, learning what he liked, and didn't like, trying to be as perfect as he seemed. If she thought on it carefully, she could see that he was right to end things. It was unhealthy to cling to a relationship that hadn't been equal from the beginning. "I really hope it works out for you." She closed the door behind her, wishing it would have been her that got him to reconcile. But she knew in every way, it had been because of the way he felt for another.

He walked into the large lecture hall, seeing fewer students than the week before. He knew it happened this way, as soon as the class began, he had warned them that little by little, the class would dwindle in size, the workload becoming heavier. Each time they gathered, he saw the effects, knowing it had nothing to do with him, having given them every opportunity for help in office hours and extra credit, and everything to do with personal will. As he looked into an empty seat, he imagined Marian there, studying diligently until he began. He knew that if each student of his had her will, her dedication, the hall would be filled.

"Good morning. Well, I had a pretty shitty morning, but good morning anyway." He heard them laugh quietly as they opened their books. "Your test is two weeks from now, that's only four sessions. We're ahead so I want to see how much help you all need. Wow me and we can coast until then."

He pulled a stack of papers from his laptop and sat them on the desk as they excitedly chattered. "But first, a quiz on last nights chapter." He heard them groan in response, smiling as he felt the rush he got from connecting with them. A rush he hoped he wouldn't have to trade for his parents approval.

***

She listened to the music wrapping around her as she walked towards the parking garage, glad that the public portion of her day was done. She adjusted the small ear buds in her pierced ears, seeing other students passing by as she walked on the crowded sidewalk. She felt her phone buzz, interrupting the dulcet sounds as she looked at the screen. Seeing that he had arrived and was waiting, made her want to walk slower, not rejoining the stream of rejection that seemed to be flowing from him.

She kept walking, suddenly feeling someone's hand pull on her elbow. As they yanked her back, she felt her heart accelerating with fear. She audibly gasped as she pulled her arm back, turning to face them. She fisted her house keys, prepared to defend herself if necessary. But as she came face to face with icy blue eyes, she calmed, pulling the ear buds from her ear slowly, trying to slow her heart. "Robbie, you really scared me." She said hastily as she tried to communicate that grabbing was not the best way to get her attention.

She saw his lips beginning to move as he smiled deeply at her, unaware that he had done anything wrong. "I didn't know you went to school here?" He came closer as another student began to walk by.

"Yeah, I do. Don't you?"

"No, I actually go to Lansley, but a book I needed was at the library here. It's so funny that I keep running in to you." He tried hard to not appreciate her body in the yellow sundress, her small breast pressing against the loose fabric and her hips flaring with the waist of the short dress as the hem circled her thighs. "You haven't called yet."

"Oh..." She said quietly as she registered his explanation. Did he realize he was standing so close? She tried to take a step back to put some distance between them, but as he reached out, he lifted the strap of her purse that had fallen down her arm. Put off by his sudden touches she shuddered to herself. "It's only really been a day Robbie..."

"Yeah, but I thought we could do something when I got off of work last night. But if you're free now, I know this great coffee shop a block from here that we can go to together."

Beginning to feel odd towards him, she tried to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry, but my ride is waiting on me."

"Your ride? You don't drive?" He came closer as she took another step away from the pavement, backing her into a tree as she had no other way to escape.

"No, I..." She felt her back hit the bark as she looked up at the leaves, hearing the rustle above her. Not knowing if she was being picky or genuinely uninterested she tried her best to be polite. "My brothers best friend Eun tried to teach me because my mom is too afraid and my brother is gone so much, but it didn't work out very well. So he's here to pick me up." She saw his eyes harden as he placed a hand by her head on the bark.

Robbie nodded his head slowly, trying to piece together what he could. "Are you two... a thing?"

"I'm sorry?" She asked for clarification as he breathed closer.

"Are you two dating? You spend a lot of time together."

She shook her head, trying not to become flustered as he asked her. "No, we've just been friends since I was young. He's like a brother to me." As he began to smile, she felt relieved, thankful he was going to move past the subject.

"Good. Why don't you call and tell him you're going to hang out with me instead? I can drive you home after."

She tucked her hair behind her ear, clinging to her purse as he began to speak lowly. But she didn't feel her heart palpitating with affection as she did with Eun, she felt her stomach unsettled. Not in the joyous way it flipped when he came close. "No, Robbie. I should go. Maybe another time?"

"How about next Friday? We could go to the movies?"

She felt her phone beginning to buzz again in her hand, seeing his name come up again. She didn't see the look of jealousy plaguing his face as she seemed excited. "Can I give you call later so we can talk about it? I really have to go." She pleaded as he seemed to be pulling her closer.

He touched the side of her face, knowing she liked the way his fingers felt as he ran them down her neck. "Are you really going to this time?" He asked as he brought his lips closer to hers.

"Yes..." She tried to push his chest away as he closed his eyes, signaling that she no longer wanted his affection. But as he kept on his path, unwavered by her restraint, she turned her face, stopping him from kissing her lips, landing on her cheek instead.

He allowed her to slip past him as he inched away. "Bye Mari." He said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, watching her as she walked away. He eyed the curve of her cheeks, praying the wind would blow upwards to reveal them to him.

She took deep breaths, attempting to understand his intensity as she savoured her freedom. He seemed overly passionate, not having any qualms touching her so soon. She pushed away her discomfort, assuring herself that he was only being friendly the way he knew how. But how could she stop the uneasiness in her belly?

Entering the parking garage, she saw Eun taking long drags as he leaned against the car, his focused aimed on the ground by his sneakers. She stopped herself from becoming excited, holes filling her chest where her happiness should have been. She had imagined things would be different after they slept together. That he would would suddenly see that she was worth the effort it took to be with her, that he could trust her with anything as a close friend, and as a lover. But it had done nothing but push them further apart, still tension between them that attracted combustion.

He put his cigarette out as she came over, seeing her gripping her phone in her hands. "Why didn't you answer when I called you?"

She felt him watching her as she shifted her weight, looking down at the ground. "I was with a friend." Even though she knew he would berate her for her actions, she felt safer in his presence.

"Don't you think you could have told me that instead of ignoring my efforts to contact you?" He tried to look her in her eyes as she seemed to be avoiding his glare. Why couldn't she understand that no communication led to accidents that could be avoided? Didn't she care if they worried?

She looked up at him as his voice began to raise. She felt her chest tightening. Understanding where she had been at fault, it didn't change her state of mind. "Can you yell at me later? I just want to go home." She felt her eyes welling up. She felt uncomfortable. Like multiple people were fighting for control of her affections that she couldn't give.

He stood up straighter, eyeing her as she looked as if she was about to cry. He began to recognize her signs of distress as she struggled to look at him, nervously moving in front of him as she held her bag to her chest. "Did something happen?"

She heard his voice lower as he got closer, fighting to look into her face. "No... don't- don't make a big deal out of it please? Let's just go." She moved from his hands, not wanting him to over react if she confided in him.

He stopped himself from asking another question, letting her get in the car as he thought to himself. He was sorry that she could no longer confide him, missing the moments where she would tell him every feeling that came to mind, no matter how embarrassing the subject.

Like the nights that she had called him in tears, unable to turn to her brother while he was deployed. He felt the phantom tears on his shoulder as she had cried through the night, unable to sleep from the turmoil ransacking her body. Holding her innocently as they rested on the couch together, her sobs the only noise through the silent house as she mourned. But things were different now. He had made them that way, and try as he might, he couldn't take it back.

****

As he parked in their driveway, she waited for him to get out, watching from the corner of her eye as he left the keys with her, going immediately into the house next door. She grabbed the keys, locking the car as she went up the stairs, opening the front as she smelled food in the air. She set her mother's keys down on the counter in the kitchen, dropping her purse from her shoulder. "There you are. Where's E.J.?" She saw her mother come in from the back porch.

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byIrian© 6 comments/ 8087 views/ 17 favorites

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