Waiting at Heaven's Gate

"You were ill and did not know what you were saying to me."

"I was lucid and still am. I have wanted to talk with you for some time and yet, you hide away, refusing to acknowledge me. What have I done wrong? How could my words have offended you so greatly?"

Rose looked around, curious if anyone was watching them. It seemed to her that no one cared whom the white girl spoke with. After all, she was a trusted member of the church and a messenger for God and Kame was a believer. He turned himself, blocking her view of those that were near them. "Speak to me," he whispered, reaching out to lift her chin with the firm grip of his finger and thumb.

Butterflies seemed to flutter deep inside her belly as she looked into Kame's dark obsidian eyes. "You did not offend me and you have done nothing...," she stopped and took a deep breath, "... were wrong to call out my name and wrong to speak so openly of your feelings for me. You are to marry Samona and... ."

"Are we not to confess the truth? I do not recall calling out your name, but I do recall whispering of the promise Heaven rewarded me with -- the sight of you when I awoke."

She blushed a deep crimson shade. "Why do you speak like this? You love another and I... I don't... ."

"You don't love me? Are you sure?" Kame asked. "Are you not the young woman that arrived in Calabar, smiling when she gazed upon the children and losing her breath when she looked at me. Much like I lost my breath when I drank you in. Tell me Rose, have you denied the feelings that rush through your life's blood when I am near. I have seen you lower your gaze, shield your thoughts, and keep yourself occupied so that you are not forced to be within my presence. Why do you do all these things? Have you never questioned yourself?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. She recalled the first day she and her father arrived in Calabar, the children were excited to see her and the other missionaries, and she had in fact loved being given their devotion. She distributed candy as well as small toys she'd made upon finding out she was going to be traveling to the African village and spreading God's word. Her memories carried her to those that Kame spoke of. She saw him standing with several men and women as well as a few of the missionary members that would be leaving the village, now that new members of the church had arrived. He was the tallest of the men, his shoulders broad and his hair closely cropped to his head. When their eyes locked, her steps had faltered.

The weeks that followed placed her near him on several occasions and during that time she had found herself staring at him, studying the way he moved, spoke and listened with every ounce of his being. She learned how to speak Jukan with his help and yet she had not thought to question her friendship as anything more than what it was. Now as he looked intently upon her, she realized that he had seen what she had been too young and ignorant to understand.

Kame smiled softly, took her hand and squeezed it. "Rose, teacher of the Word, though I am promised to another it is you I desire."

Her lids fluttered several times as she tried to comprehend what he said and what she was now realizing for the first time. Slowly she pulled her hand from his and scooted further from him. "I --- I don't ---," she looked back at him, then over his shoulder to see if his words had been heard by another, "... you are --- I ---," her head pounded as realization and acceptance battled between right and wrong, "we can't --- you and Samona and... ."

Kame chuckled softly, touched her knee, leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Shh, think on what you have just discovered and we will talk later." He rose from the floor and left her to the chaotic thoughts that were ricocheting too and fro within her head.

She watched him walk away, then tucked herself further into the corner in which she had mindlessly scooted into. Her bible was on her lap and instinctively she opened it and tried to clear her thoughts. Kame's words and deep voice however had buried themselves deep within her subconscious and the words on the thin paper were nothing more than a blur. His touch on her hand and on her chin seemed to be burned into her flesh. The melodious sound of his laughter while he conversed with the others inside the hut bathed her in warmth. Occasionally she would look up and he would be staring at her, watching her as if he was waiting to see her bolt from the room. She didn't want to bolt, she wanted to stand beside him and speak more about what he'd confessed and what he had forced her to see.

Thoughts of Samona crashed to the surface and she saw in her mind the woman's jealousy and knew that the African girl had known all along that her intended desired the white woman. Guilt washed over her as she imagined being the cause of chaos in Samona's life. Yet, she had not done so willingly or had she? Was she as innocent as she wanted to believe? She had sought out Kame when her and her father had first settled into the village, it wasn't until later when she realized that the man was engaged to another that she started to purposely distance herself. Had it not been for Kame's accident she would have continued ignoring what her heart had known, but her mind kept denying.

The crack of thunder and the snap of lighting made her jump. A chill ran up and down her spine. A Malaw woman came over and offered her shelter for the rest of the night within the safety of her and her families' home. Rose stood up and went with the woman and several others. They hurried through the rain, eventually ending up in the woman's hut. She was given a cot, blankets and something to drink before the oil lanterns were extinguished. Sleep did not come easily thanks to the storm outside and the stoked feelings of desire that were now awoken in Rose's soul.

It rained for two weeks, a blessing and a curse to the country. Rose's offer to assist the women of Malaw was no longer waved off and soon she was working side-by-side with the women, much like she had with the Calabar people. Kame purposely placed himself within her line of sight, and she knew it was because he refused to let her forget what he'd confessed. She could not help but look for him every morning and wish him goodnight every evening. Samona and thoughts of her anger over the attention Kame was giving Rose made her hesitate in smiling or allowing him a brief moment to touch her hand.

When the unexpected rains were over and the sky cleared, the people of Malaw and the missionaries and villagers of Calabar were able to devote time learning more about each other as well as the heavenly reward that God promised.

Rose spent a lot of time teaching the children and Kame was always there to escort her to and from the small school that was in the process of being built. He walked her to the river, and kept vigil with her while she cleaned her clothing. Neither of them spoke about the whispers that seemed to follow them. Rose knew that Kame was intended for Samona and had chosen to take this time with him as a gift from their Holy Father.

Evening came one night, gracing them with clear skies, bright stars and a beautiful moon. Rose had taken a moment to herself, wanting to pray and seek the Lord's guidance in regards to the feelings she had for the young man. She knew it was wrong and yet, how could the feelings she had for Kame be sinful.

The snapping of a twig told her she was not alone; she turned and came face-to-face with Kame. He stared at her for several long seconds, before lifting his hand and pushing it into her hair. The beaded strips of leather that kept her long hair securely fastened were soon scattered on the earth's floor. His lips found hers, and though she whimpered softly from the touch of his tongue sliding across her mouth, he did not give her freedom, nor did she demand it. The desire to taste each other was too great and caution was thrown to the wind.

Their tongues slid back and forth. Kame slowly taught her how to kiss him. He tilted her head back, her jaw grew slack and her mouth opened further. Gently he moved, quietly possessing her mouth and causing her to shiver within his embrace. He pulled her to him, crushing her breasts to his chest, while stroking her back with his strong palms and thick fingers. Rose moaned, shifted nervously on her feet and clutched his shirt between her fists.

The sounds of the night were lost to them as Kame's hands moved to cup Rose's face. He pulled away, looked down on her and watched as she turned her head away. She felt the heat of her skin and knew he had to feel the blush that covered her cheeks. He kissed her forehead, her eyes, cheeks, and then dipped down to caress her throat with his lips.

A groan of want escaped his lungs sending a shiver of excitement up her spine. She stood there, her knees growing weak as her hands trembled and shook. "Rose, tell me to stop, to go away. Tell me I am a sinner and condemn me to Hell."

A tear trickled past her closed lids as she slipped deeper into the lust that was driving her thoughts. Her body swayed and Kame eased her down onto the ground, now thick and full of well-watered grasses. He ran one hand down her hip, caressing her through the material of her skirt. He nuzzled her chest, used his teeth to dislodge the buttons of her blouse. The world seemed to swallow her up as she felt his chin rub against her bosom.

Rose told him to stop, to go away and she condemned him -- but only in her mind. The words never surfaced as she touched the back of his head and pushed him closer to her beating heart. She blocked out her upbringing and welcomed the sinful nature that was consuming her. Samona would wed Kame and she would be left with only a memory. The Holy Father would forgive her --- when she was ready to ask Him for that forgiveness.

The cool night air rushed up her legs as Kame slipped her skirt up her thighs. It bunched around her hips. She gazed down at him as he moved to open her legs. The stars shone brightly. The moon glowed a brilliant white as he stared back at her before sliding his hands under her ass and lifting her to the sky. He buried his face between her legs, covering her flesh with long licks of his thick tongue, while sucking and nipping at her swollen lips.

The emotional havoc that played on Rose was lost as Kame expertly learned her shape, depth and taste. Her hips reflexively rolled and with his strong grip he kept her grounded to him. Her gasps of pleasure turned to soft cries of both pain and hunger. He pushed a fingertip into her opening, supporting her ass with the open palm of one hand, while gently stroking her slick pussy lips. She bucked against his face; her thoughts shifting from horror at her wantonness to acceptance of her lust. Her name filled the air as did his and when the explosion of her release was upon her she begged her Savior for the breath in which to continue living.

Her lungs ached as she came. He pulled his finger from her opening and covered her mouth with his hand, quieting the scream that erupted from her chest. His mouth worked to free all of her juices from virgin mound and only after he felt her grow limp did he lower her ass back to the ground and slide his body over hers.

Rose's world was spinning out. Her mind was full of varying shades of orange, gold, and red. She felt Kame rise over her, felt his hand caress her sex, and heard the telling signs of his clothing being loosened. She knew what was to come and she again asked for forgiveness that would come when she felt sorry for her actions. Willingly she opened her legs and took the thick sex of the dark man. His cock slid into her opening and pain shot through her, blocking out the joy that had been felt earlier. She cried out and once again he was there to swallow the sound. His mouth covered hers; his tongue thrust deep, just as his cock finished penetrating her.

A grunt of pleasure was fed into her by his throat as he deepened their kiss. His hips rose and she felt another stab of pain when he pushed back into her. Over and over he claimed her as his and when he shot the hot sticky cream of his release into her slick opening Rose knew forgiveness would never come.

"Wrap your legs around me, little one."

Rose weakly did as she was told and wrapped her legs around his thick muscular thighs. He pushed into her, their pelvises mashed together. He created a slow and tedious rhythm that filled her with his swelling cock. Her eyes grew wide at the new sensation. Rose's sex was still tender, but the feeling was easier to ignore now that the moisture of his cum coated her walls. "Lift your hips -- push upward -- and tighten your insides," he whispered into her ear before pressing kisses along her neck.

She took to his direction and was rewarded with pleasure that seemed to carry her closer and closer to a precipice that would surely be her downfall. The sparks of fire that seeped to leap from her veins to coat her skin were nothing compared to the trembling in her lower abdomen as Kame plunged in and out of her. He again called her name and she scrambled to make sense of everything that was happening to her. The cliff edge was there and when he lowered his head, grasped her nipple between his teeth and sucked hard on the tender nub, Rose was driven off it.

Liquid silk flowed from her pussy as streams of cum shot from Kame. He pumped until he was empty and held her while she slowly regained some sense of balance. He rolled to his back, bringing her with him, so that she rested on his chest, stomach and thighs. With his fingers buried in her hair, he brought her head up and kissed her lips. She was weak, and could not breath, yet she managed to do so. Rose tasted herself on her lover's lips, blushed at the realization and blushed more so when she realized she enjoyed the flavor of her release on Kame's tongue.

They remained locked within each other's arms and lost in their own world for several minutes. It was Kame that made the first move to disentangle himself from her. He eased her away and aided her in repairing her clothes, before he saw to his own needs. Rose kept her gaze averted, fearing the look in his eyes. What would he think of her?

She felt his hand on her chin, coaxing her to look up at him. Her eyes held his for a moment before he was again kissing her and forcing her lids to close in submission. When he pulled away, he took her hand and placed it in his. Together they walked back toward the Malaw village. When they reached the edge, she went ahead of him. There were very few huts lit with lanterns and none of the villagers were loitering in the dark. She thanked God for watching out for her and Kame as she made her way back to her temporary quarters.

The following morning brought with it news that the missionaries and the Calabar people would be leaving. She looked for Kame, hoping to catch just a brief glimpse of the love she'd seen the night before. Her body was tender and there were small bruises that he needed to sooth, but she knew it would be a long time before he came to her again. As the group began to leave the village, she asked about her lover's whereabouts. Kame, she was told, had left earlier and would most likely be in Calabar before the others.

Saddened by the news that he would not be accompanying her Rose opened her bible and tried to focus on God's law -- which she knew she'd broken. The wagon she rode in seemed to move slower than it had when she and the others were heading toward Malaw; she knew it was because she was anxious to see Kame.

The sound of shouting brought her out of her musings. Men rushed forward, pushing past the women in the group. Rose frowned, angry at the delay that would keep her from Kame. She waited for what seemed an eternity before those who had left the caravan returned. Shouts of joy and expressions of thanksgiving were easy to comprehend. Though she already knew the answer, Rose asked what was happening; the women told of God answering their prayers. The new missionaries had arrived, along with supplies for the villages and a new Minister. Rose felt the color drain from her face. She would soon learn her fate. Where was her Lord going to place her now that she had given into lust and sinned against His word?

Arrival back in Calabar was celebrated by those that had left the village as well as those that had waited behind. The new foreigners and the supplies they brought were seen as the blessings and rewards that God gave His people when asked for in prayer. Rose looked for Kame, and caught him standing next to Samona. The couple looked happy and joyous that the Christians had arrived. Samona stared long and hard at Rose, before walking over and offering her folded piece of parchment. "The new Minister was looking for you. I told him you were gone doing God's work. But that I would bring you to him. He wanted to give you this," she told Rose, handing her the paper.

Rose looked over Samona's shoulder, noted the hardened expression of Kame and knew the contents of the letter before she opened it. She looked down, then back up at Samona. "The seal is broken," she accused.

"So it is," the black woman hissed.

After taking a deep breath Rose opened the letter, and read that her request to remain behind had been denied. Her father would need her to guide him back to the light of the Word and her youth demanded that she be brought back to society, so that she could become a proper wife and loyal follower of Christ. Rose held back the tears that threatened to spill free. She felt Samona's breath on her ear and heard her whisper, "You reek like a village whore and you will not be missed. I will be full of his seed and give birth to his children while you remain locked in the grips of Hell upon your death." The black woman spun away, leaving Rose shocked by the venom that was spilled and the knowledge that Samona possessed.

It took her several minutes before she was able to move from the spot in which Samona had launched her verbal attack. She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts while heading toward her and her father's hut. Suidelike was there, along with other women, helping Reverend John pack his belongings and those of his daughters. The merchant ship would only be in the harbor for two days and then the captain would set sail with or without the Christians.

Rose tried to focus on introducing the newcomers to the people of Calabar. She never caught a moment to be alone with Kame, Samona was always by his side. Her gaze hard and accusing. How had the woman known what had happened? The question continued to worry Rose. Had Kame confessed his sins to his intended and if so should she seek forgiveness from the black woman as well as her Lord? Rose felt conflicted and when the hour approached that she and the others were to leave, she disappeared, hoping to find Kame and speak with him about what had happened between them.

She reached the river's edge and sought his visage among the men who were bringing in the nets of fish. He was there, working hard along side both whites and blacks. The sound of boots crushing stone made her spin around. Samona stared back at her, her hand raised and stone of great weight clenched tightly in her fists.

The redhead stared in shock at the woman who wished to strike her down. A shout from the water made Samona face grow worrisome. The rock fell and she pushed passed Calabar. "It is good you are leaving, white-whore," Samona said, before spitting on Rose's feet.

Rose turned back toward the village and hurried away. Samona was right, it was good that she was leaving. Had she remained the woman would have eventually taken her life. When she met up with the caravan, she received a firm chastisement from the missionary women as well as a disapproving frown from her father, who had managed to remain sober for the last 24 hours.