Waiting for the Exeter Express

Author's Note.

I am deeply indebted to Pickykinky and Mostera 1 for providing editing services and generally making this a better story.

For my US readers I would like to point out that what your colleges refer to as semesters, UK colleges call terms. There are only three terms in a year and they are between ten and 14 weeks long, depending on whether easter is early or late. Waiting for the Exeter Express

I brought the car to a standstill, dowsed the lights and waited. I checked the timetable. Sure enough on Monday night the express should be here at 10:10pm. I checked my watch. In less than five minutes the final stage of my plan would come to fruition. Five minutes to wait. Five minutes to go over everything. This was the culmination of a week of planning but the story started over a year before.

*****

The first time I thought little of it. When you've been married for twenty two years you don't expect every time to be a marathon. Now and again a time will come when performance is not up to scratch. When my cock started to go soft before either of us had an orgasm all I could do was apologise. When the same thing happened again a week later, I started to get worried. It was bad enough thinking that maybe I was losing the ability to satisfy my wife but to lose it, even temporarily at that point, was an absolute disaster.

When the first of our children was born, our sex life went down the toilet. Erica always seemed to be too tired, or at least that was the excuse. I'd be surprised if we managed once a month. It seemed like the baby took all the love she had and there wasn't enough left over for me. I admit, I was jealous of my son and at the same time I was ashamed. I must have managed it somewhere along the line because eighteen months later along came son number two.

As the boys got older and less demanding, I expected things to get better, I was wrong. I found the rejection really hard to deal with so I avoided it by giving her time to get to sleep before turning in myself. Knowing she didn't want me as much as I wanted her, hurt me deeply, but there's more to a marriage than sex, isn't there? I could get by on once every couple of weeks. What mattered was that we loved each other. At least I thought we did.

Things started to change when my youngest son, James went off to university. We spent more time together and Erica started to get more amorous. Once a fortnight was no longer enough, we were soon up to two or three times a week. Sex wasn't restricted to bed time; occasionally she would jump on me as soon as I got home from work. When her libido went into overdrive we started having sex every day, twice on Sundays. It was like being newlyweds again. I loved it, not just the sex, we seemed to have reconnected. The kissing and touching increased. For the first time in years I felt loved.

I started to worry when she told me that she still needed more. She worked as a kindergarten manager and frequently found the need to go to the toilets to get herself off manually. At my suggestion she went to see a doctor. She seemed a bit down when I got home that night. The doctor had told she was experiencing the start of the menopause. According to our doctor it was her body's way of dealing with the fact that she would soon become infertile. Her body was giving her the best chance to conceive before the eggs stopped coming. He told her it would only last a year to 18 months and advised her to ride it out. Being a man I couldn't see the problem.

"I'm going to be infertile," she whined. "It's like the end of something special."

"I had a vasectomy fifteen years ago. I did it because you didn't like the pill or any of the other contraceptives we tried. Producing children ended for me then. I don't remember getting all morose."

"Well you wouldn't would you? You're a man. It's not as important to you."

"Hold on now. I'll have you know that being able to sire children is very important to a man. It's part of his reason for being. That's why I was so reluctant to have the vasectomy. We decided, no you decided you didn't want any more children. Now your complaining because soon you won't be able to have anymore. To me it sound like whining because someone is taking away something you didn't want."

"Huh I might have known you wouldn't understand."

I tried a different tack. "I'm sorry Ric I really am, but I can see a positive side. No more period pains, no more premenstrual tension, That must be something to look forward to? He said you'll only be like this for another year. Surely that's a comfort?"

"I suppose there is that, I hadn't really given it much thought, but at the time it seemed like such a blow."

I sat down beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. "In a year from now you'll be back to normal, doesn't that make you feel better."

"No! Not really I enjoy feeling like this. I'm having three orgasms a day and it makes me feel great."

"Three? I'm only giving you one, who's giving you the other two?"

"I am, with my rampant rabbit. I told you I needed more than you can give. It's not your fault you can't be with me all day. I have to do it. I get the tingle then the throbbing that can only be sated by an orgasm."

"Sounds like you're barely in control, and you say you don't want it to stop?"

"It's like having the afterglow of sex all day long. It's exhilarating and I love the feeling. It's not a problem, is it?"

"No, there's no problem, our sex life hasn't been this good in years. I must admit I'm a bit worried about you having to get yourself off at work. I doubt the parents would understand if you got caught."

"Don't worry, I always lock myself in the toilet. Nobody knows."

I did my best to comfort her that night. In fact I comforted her twice. The more I thought about it the more I understood. She wasn't just concerned about the end of child bearing, she worried about getting old.

*****

I heard an owl hooting and it brought me back to the present. I looked at my watch. 10.15 PM. Where the hell was that train? The express is never late. I looked down the track but there was still no sign. The night around me was black without a sign of another human being. I started to get cold. My left arm felt particularly cold. I could start the engine and warm the car up again but I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I decided to just wait. The train may have been a little late but it would come. My worries would soon be over.

*****

My own personal disaster struck while I was trying to cope with Erica's out of control libido. The first time I lost my erection Erica understood. It was her fault she said for being so demanding. However, as it became a regular occurrence she got more annoyed. I'd planned to see my doctor but before I got an appointment Erica presented me with a pack of Viagra.

"Erica, I need to talk to the doctor. These may not be the answer."

"Yes but they may be and where's the harm in trying? If they don't work, go to the doctor."

I didn't know enough about my problem to argue with her and I saw logic in what she said. Our lovemaking already lacked spontaneity, and having to take a pill half an hour in advance made it worse. The good news was that they worked. I could even put up with the side effects. Every morning my face was on fire, my nose blocked up and I woke up with a hangover, but they worked, for a while. As the weeks went by the problem returned and I increased the dose. I reached the maximum dose and still the problem returned.

My work colleagues knew something was wrong. You can't go to work with a hangover everyday without people noticing a loss of performance. I shared an office with the most gorgeous Cypriot woman by the name of Eugenia Vanesis. Eugenia was a beautiful woman, five feet tall slim with a lovely round arse. I don't know if her face could launch a thousand ships but it certainly entranced every male student she encountered. The only area where she didn't come up trumps was in the boob department. She was always conscious of this short coming, but she was the only one who found it important. We had been friends since I started at the college and more than once she had expressed a willingness to take it further. On one occasion, she walked in and looked at me.

"Kevin Johnson, when are you and I going to start our affair?"

"Don't even joke about such things."

"Who says I'm joking?"

"I love Erica; I'd never cheat on her. Besides, I can hardly afford one woman, let alone two."

I laughed it off but there was definitely sexual chemistry between us.

At 32, Eugenia already had her own share of problems. An abusive ex-husband, Neville, had driven her away then tried to control her with threats of suicide. He stood six foot six inches and was a prop forward on the local Rugby team, and headmaster at a junior school. I'd supported her through all of that. Now she saw an opportunity to return the favour.

"Problems at home, Kev?" she asked.

"No, what makes you think that?"

"Come off it. Normally you hardly drink at all, but now you come in here hung over every day. Something must be very wrong for you to hit the bottle."

"Look Gen. I am not hitting the bottle, it's the side effects of the drugs."

"What drugs are you on then?"

I had to tell her the whole story. She was horrified.

"She put you on Viagra? Have you seen a doctor? You may have a heart condition Kevin she could be killing you. You have to stop taking them until you've seen a doctor."

"I might as well stop, they're not working anymore."

Eugenia hugged me tightly and made me promise to get checked out.

At home things went from bad to worse, without the little blue pills I didn't even get an erection, let alone maintain one. I did my best to satisfy Erica with my mouth, fingers and her vibrators. She soon let me know it wasn't enough.

"I need a man Kevin. I need a man's weight on me while I'm cumming. I need to feel your arms around me when you cum inside me. Anything else is a poor substitute."

The next day I made an appointment to see a doctor but being a Friday the earliest I could get was the following Tuesday. Erica wouldn't wait that long. That night I waited for her to go to bed and followed shortly after. I was surprised to see a light on in my son's room. I was even more surprised when I walked past the door and saw Erica climbing into the empty bed.

"What's going on? Why are you sleeping in here?"

"You can't do anything for me that I can't do myself. To be honest, you only get in the way. At least this way I won't have to put up with your snoring."

I went to bed on my own feeling as low as a man can. I was a failure, unable to fulfil the most basic function of a man. I couldn't satisfy my wife. Lying alone in the bed, listening to her groans and grunts made me sink even lower. I tried to sleep without success. Around 3:00am, with her words still running through my head, I saw things as they were. She'd told me she needed to be held by a man and now she was pulling away from me. Was it possible that someone else was doing the holding, maybe even supplying everything else that I couldn't?

Erica kept out of my way for most of the weekend. Saturday she went shopping all day but didn't seem to buy much. On Sunday she went to church and didn't come back until the evening. I should have confronted her but I wasn't sure I wanted to know where she'd been, and I was so tired.

I became convinced she had found a replacement and if I needed any further confirmation it came on Monday evening when I found Erica packing her case.

"Where are you going, Ric?"

"I'm sorry Kevin but it's just not working for us anymore. I need more than you can give— which is really not saying much."

"Don't do this Erica. The problem is probably temporary. Things will soon be back to normal."

"I know it's only temporary, but even when it's over I'll still need sex occasionally."

"I was talking about my problem not yours. Many men suffer erectile dysfunction at some time or another. It's often a temporary thing."

She stopped packing for a moment and put her arms around me. "I hope so Kevin I really do. I know you love me and I hate to do this to you, but he's younger and so hard. He takes me to places you never could. It's not your fault. I just need him right now. It will be over soon, my libido will calm down, or he'll tire of me and we can get back to normal. We don't love each other or anything like that. It's just sex."

She let go of me and went back to her packing. I left her there and went downstairs. It took her a little over half an hour to appear at the top of the stairs with two large suitcases, an overnight bag and a large holdall. She started to come down with the smallest bag and saw me watching her.

"It wouldn't do you any harm to give me a hand."

"Erica I am going to do nothing to assist you to leave this house. If you go it's going to be entirely through your own efforts."

She thumped down the stairs and took the small bag out to her car. When she came back she stared at me hoping I would weaken, I didn't. She made a big show of how heavy the bags were and how difficult it was to get them out to her car. When she got the last one to the front door she stopped and looked back at me.

"It doesn't have to be like this you know. It's not as if it's forever. Can't you just be happy that I've found someone to take the load off you?"

"Please don't do this Erica. We can get past this. We both know it's not me you're doing this for. If you stay there's still a chance for us, but if you leave now you're not coming back. Here, will you do it or shall I?"

I held my phone out to her. She looked at the screen and saw her mobile number highlighted.

"What the hell are you talking about now?"

"Deleting you from my phone—and from my life. Will you do it or shall I?"

"Oh stop being so melodramatic, Kevin." She was starting to shout now. "Of course I'm coming back, it's just that right now I need a real man not a limp dicked excuse......"

She stopped mid sentence realising what she'd said. "I'm sorry Kev; I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did, you have finally said what you mean. You had better go, go and bounce on that long, hard cock I hope it makes you happy."

There was a tear in her eye as she turned and left. I pressed the button on the phone, and watched the number disappear. The door closed and I set the deadlock.

That evening I ran through the range of emotions. I started out angry. How could she do this to me? I had given her the twenty best years of my life and at the first sign of trouble she baled on me. Whatever happened to for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, and of course forsaking all others? How could she be so arrogant as to believe I would sit and wait for her to come back?

I tried to think about what I was going to do. I would find her young buck and cut his nuts off. I'd arrange a party for my students and have them fuck her within an inch of her life. When they'd finished with her I'd throw her out. All these things went through my mind and I tried to convince myself that I would do them all but in my heart I knew I wouldn't.

As the evening wore on my anger gave way to guilt. It was my fault, I had failed her. She had needed me to see her through her problem time and I let her down.

Then the self-pity hit. I was less than a man. I couldn't please a woman. I couldn't perform. Of course she didn't want me, what woman would? I could have lost an arm or leg and still felt more complete.

As I tried to sleep I slipped further into depression. Everything I could think of left me further down. I think I must have slept because I think I dreamt. I saw my students standing around laughing about poor old Kev who couldn't get it up. I saw Erica and her lover giggling about how much she'd missed a real man. I saw Erica explaining to my son's how their limp dicked father had let her down in her hour of need.

When morning came I found it difficult to pull myself out of bed. I made coffee but didn't feel like eating. I called the college and told them I was sick then just sat around the house. I wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. It was afternoon before I could function on any level. What brought me back to the real world was the ringing of a phone, a phone that I couldn't find. After throwing all the cushions off the sofa, I found Erica's phone. It was the first thing that gave me a lift, I picked it up walked to the bathroom and dropped down the toilet.

I knew I had to protect myself and my sons. I thought I could trust Erica, but I didn't even know who her lover was so I had to protect my finances. I obviously needed to go to the bank. The people at the bank were surprisingly helpful. Following their advice I opened a current account (Checking account) in my own name and transferred sufficient funds to cover a month's expenses into that account. With that done I took my name off of the joint current account we'd always used. I emptied our savings account. Erica and her fuck buddy might well have a good time but they wouldn't do it on my money.

When I got home I called the insurance company that handled my life insurance. It surprised me how simple it was to change the beneficiary from Erica to equal shares for my sons. The following day I went back to work. Between lectures I went to Human Resources and arranged for my salary to be paid into my new account. I did the same with the college insurance as I did with my life policy. On Friday I managed to see a solicitor to change my will. That's what led me to Monday night waiting for a train.

*****

I had no idea why I felt so cold, and that damned heartburn was killing me. I'd just checked my watch again when it happened. I heard the bells, red lights flashed and the barrier came down behind me. I turned to look up the track to see the train coming around the bend. Soon it would be over, my misery was almost over.

Something was wrong, the train moved much slower than normal. In fact it seemed to be getting slower. In the distance but coming my way, were two flashing blue lights. The heartburn got significantly worse and I grabbed at my chest. Suddenly there were flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror. A police car had stopped on the other side of the barrier. I wanted to start the engine and drive off but I couldn't pull my hand away from my chest. Two policemen walked up to the car. One tapped on the window but I didn't move. The heartburn was getting worse. The officer asked if I was alright but all I could do was look at him. Unable to keep my eyes open I drifted into unconsciousness as the policeman kept talking.

*****

I remember nurses fussing around me, machines beeping, doctors prodding and probing me as I drifted in and out of consciousness. Soft lips caressed my forehead and a soft hand held mine but then I was gone again.

The bright sunlight filtered through the blinds, beckoning me back to the land of the living. My eye lids fluttered and I looked out on a blurry world. I started to focus and soon picked out the TV screen above the bed and the magnolia walls of the ward. Someone was there with me and I started looking around. The nurses busied themselves at their station. I turned the other way and there she was.

"Welcome back," she said. "You had us worried for a while."

I looked at her beautiful face. Her big brown eyes showed so much love.

"Eugenia, what are you doing here?"

"Well someone had to be here. James is coming this weekend. Peter asked me to keep him informed and he'll be here as soon as he can. It's a long way from Durham."

"But how did you know?"

"The hospital called me. Mine was the only woman's number in your phone, they thought I was your wife. When they called I thought they were talking about my ex-husband. As soon as I found it was you I had to come.