Wanting Tina Back

His rage was doubled further by knowing he would never have a chance to do anything about it. It was completely impotent anger. He knew he would never see her again. He had no idea where she went, or what she was doing. He was a poor college student without any resources. There was nothing he could do about it.

The rage festered inside of him with nowhere to go. He wasn't able to start any relationships for years after that, and always inside of him was a part that never felt satisfied, always angry that there was no justice.

The worst part was the nights he would spend alone. Tina was so hot, so sexy, that there was a physical lust for her that went on despite everything that his heart felt and his mind knew. It was as if his body refused to change its desire for her no matter how much it hurt to think about her. He knew that while he was lying in bed alone, on any given night she was somewhere else, being wildly fucked by some guy with a huge cock. He found that he couldn't not think about it, so his mind was filled with images of her fucking, how she looked with he hair spread out on the pillow, her huge tits bouncing back and forth, her lips and tongue expressing ecstasy, her dark eyes looking back with wicked intent. Even though Randall knew another man was seeing these things, the image of it was too hot for him to not be turned on.

To make sense of his conflicting feelings, he had to try and find some way to make sense of it all by combining his feelings of hatred and lust for her and masturbate. Sometimes he fantasized about raping her, to put her in her place. Other times he fantasized about being under her power somehow. The guilt of wanting her in spite of his feelings, and the forbidden desire of being infatuated with such an evil woman only heightened the sensations. Over and over again, Randall would masturbate furiously thinking about her, and then feel terribly pathetic after he came.

His last year in college went badly. It was similar to the first day of the previous year in that he had so much attention from people as he walked around the campus. This time, though, the attention had a completely different feeling. Most everyone at the school knew him as the guy who was cuckolded by the hottest women on campus. There were muffled giggles, whispers, and awkward interactions.

The situation came to a head when one time in the first semester Randall overheard three guys talking. One of them said, "Well, it makes sense that she was getting some strange on the side. Seriously dude, did you see that chick? She was so far out of that guy's league that no one could understand what she was even doing with him!" Randall snapped. The guy probably didn't know that she had stayed with Randall precisely so that she could torture him, but Randall had an anger reaction as if somehow the guy had known and was part of the whole game of betrayal and sadism. Randall jumped across a table and attacked the guy who had been talking. Randall got a few good punches in, but there were three guys, so they beat him up pretty bad.

It didn't matter that he lost the fight. There were dozens of people who saw him make the first move. He was arrested, did community service, and was kicked out of school. His record made him ineligible to go to any decent school, and he still had the student loans to pay so he couldn't afford the worst schools. He never got his degree, and spent his life working at jobs far below his aspirations.

He never did see Tina again, and he could only hope she never heard about him, because he knew that if she did, it would only make her laugh. Probably while she was being fucked by some rich guy with a huge cock.