Warmth of a Mid Autumn Night Ch. 23-32

Chapter 23 ==== Day of Knots in My Stomach

As I sit in the guest room arranging the paper work to discuss later with Nigel, my stomach was in a knot thinking of how the lunch with Gracie later on could turn out less than pleasant. I only hope that the meeting with Nigel goes smoothly.

"Mr. Nigel, Sir."

"Hello, Nigel. Come and have a seat."

"Thank you, Mr. Devoncaster."

"Let us get right down to business. I would like Miss Sidney-Haldonot to be the writer for our magazine in the Waldenleigh area."

"Yes, Sir. I have also brought over some recipes for you to try before we have them listed in our next monthly edition."

"I will look forward to tasting some of these recipes. Humbly!"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Will you look over these recipes and make some of them please?"

"Yes, Sir. I will start right away."

"How do you feel about letting Roger take on a few projects, Nigel?"

"What type of projects do you have in mind, Sir?"

"I was thinking more of taking some of Katie's role while she is away on holiday."

"Are you serious, Sir?

It would be catastrophic. The idea is diabolical. You are letting that pea brain handle such tasks?"

"Yes. The paramecium will get what he deserves."

"He has been pushing for a promotion, yes?"

"Yes, Sir."

"You know very well he can not handle his own position, much less a higher one."

"Yes, Sir."

"This will give him a chance to prove himself worthy of the promotion. If he fails then he loses his job entirely. I know this will be a little more difficult on you and everyone else. Essentially, it is really the rest of the staff doing the work without him. We are only making him think he is taking on each project as if it is his own. All the assignments he receives will not apply to our monthy edition in any way."

"You are saying to give him the chance to fail?"

"Yes. You know he will not be able to pull through. If he does then we gain something. There is not a loss on our end either way. If by some strange miracle, he could handle these assignments then we have a stronger team. Since we are aware of his bad habits, we know he will not be able to handle all this which would give us the right to show him the door."

"I should start looking for someone new on the side privately to fill in his seat?"

"Yes. We can not afford all his blunders. I rather lose him than the rest of the staff. He is only making it harder for everyone else with his lack of inefficiency. Sometimes I wonder if his brain is a door stopper."

"You are brilliant, Sir. Should I let the rest of the staff know what is going on?"

"To a certain extent. All they need to know is any assignments he is working on are all non related to the company. They do not need to review his work or worry about his mistakes."

"Yes, Sir. He would be much better off without all the drinking. We have suggested he seek help, but he refuses to talk to any counselor and does not see how bad his performance is at work. We did give him plenty of chances to recover, but thinks we are all pushing him too much."

"Not much we can do if he is not willing to meet us half way. He is not coping well with the death of his uncle and the wife leaving him for being drunk so often."

"Yes, it is a shame. Is there anything else I need to make a note of, Sir?"

"No. If there is anything else, I will let you know. Thank you for coming by, Nigel."

"Not a problem, Sir. It is nice to get away from the office sometimes."

I am glad the short meeting with Nigel went smoothly. Now I need to prepare myself to see Gracie. From what Humbly has told me, there was not much he could find out about her. Either Aveline is not sharing much or Gracie is a lot less adventurous than I am.

When I have arrived at the front door of her home, Aveline was there to greet me and brought me to the dining room.

"Please have a seat, Mr. Devoncaster. I will inform Miss Highbrighton that you are here."

"Thank you."

I had a few sips of wine while waiting for Gracie. It will be great if I can leave this place with a smile on my face, but I fear the worst.

"Leo, thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting me."

"I want to tell you that I forgive you for asking me that question. It is not easy to discuss some topics, but this is the time to lay out our concerns if we want our relationship to go any further."

"Yes, I agree. We should let our skeletons out of the closet. I want us to share our thoughts in a mature manner. Please understand that I am in no way trying to hurt you, Gracie. I will share with you about my past more in detail. If it bothers you too much to be with me then so be it. I can not change my past. Neither will I change what I feel is right. I do not want you to be uncomfortable around me or change for the sake of me."

"Yes, I understand. Who should share first?"

"I might as well share first. It may kill our relation, but it is a part of my life that I can not leave alone. You remember Frederick?"

"Yes, your childhood friend you grew up with that is now living in Waldenleigh."

"Yes. He and I had traveled through parts of Europe back when we had attended the university near by. On our trips, we would have intimate nights with the locals. We were wild and free then. It was not planned when it came to who we were sharing the bed with."

"Some have their fun then. I had my intimate nights too. There is nothing unusual about that. Are you afraid that I will frown upon that?" "No. It is not that. When I mean intimate, I mean it was anything from Frederick and I with a woman in the middle to two women all at the same time. As in everyone had their hands on one another. There was not any barriers. We all had very passionate evenings together.

I am wondering if you have engaged in such before or dream of doing so if you do not find me too forward?"

She had started to blush and paused for a moment. I was feeling a bit awkward.

"I have not engaged in such activities before, but I have thought about it."

"You have?"

"Yes. I hope you do not think of me in a bad way over this matter."

"Oh no no no. I am more relieved now that you have told me. Please feel free to share more. I was thinking you would find me too wild or adventurous for what I have done in the past."

"Oh no. I do not see anything wrong with that, Leo. If it is all mutual and nobody gets hurt then it is between the individual and who ever else involved. Nobody else needs to know about it or be saying who has the right to do that or not."

"I am glad you feel that way, Gracie. But I am still not sure if you understand me. Even though it has been a while since I have engaged in such intimate nights with strangers, you do have to realize that my feelings for Frederick has not changed. We sometimes share the bed if you know what I mean. It does not affect my relationship with others. I do not want you to look at it as an affair on the side."

"Oh. You and Frederick have a unique relationship. I would not want to come in between that. But if you two were wanting more from one another then you would not be with me. After all, he came into your life long before I have. I should not see him as any form of competition."

"No. He is not competition at all. We do almost everything friends do except a little more. He is not a substitution for my love life or anything else."

"Does this mean you would not mind if I have a best friend similar to Frederick?"

"Not at all. What you do with your friend is your business. I do not have a reason to feel insecure when you are out with any of your lady friends or even the fellows. What is important is for us to know where we stand and who we go to for comfort.

If in the future we do tie the knot, I want you to know that you can talk to anyone you feel is fit to talk to about any topic or issues. I would hope you can talk to me, but if there is someone else that would be more fitting then by all means go to that person for comfort.

We are not perfect for everything. I do not expect you to come to me for everything and I hope you will understand that there are some issues I rather discuss with Frederick or Humbly."

"I am glad to hear you say that. It is true that not everyone is fit for every topic or issue."

"I would like to be the one to have a solution to all your problems, but if I can not, I want someone who can be of help to you. There is not any reason for me to feel insecure about that.

Are you alright with the topics we have discussed so far, Gracie?"

"Yes, I am. How about you?"

"I am fine. You are taking this in better than I had thought."

"Did you expect me to take it the wrong way about you and Frederick?"

"Yes, sort of. I did not know how open-minded you would be in this area."

"Relax, Leo. I am alright with this. Is there anything else that is on your mind?"

"Yes. This may sound a bit old-fashioned, but it is not set in stone. If in the future we are married, I rather you not come along with me on business trips unless you want to. I do not want to pull you into my work or have you waiting for me when I have work to attend to."

"That is understandable. Do you expect me to be at home waiting by the phone for you?"

"No. No. You can do as you please. I know Aveline will take care of you. You are free to attend parties if you like while I am way. About everything you do now, you can do later.

There is one thing I do mind. If you have to visit a town that is more than a day's ride away, I would like to come along with you. If not me, then Aveline or Humbly. I know you are an adult, but I want you to be safe."

"You are sweet to care about me so much, Leo."

So far, so good. I am glad that we are able to talk about so much openly. But I am still holding my breath for the worst. Lunch is going well so far and I hope that I can stay around to enjoy dessert.

Chapter 24 ==== The Long Talk with Gracie

As much as it feels right to share our thoughts more in depth, I still feel that anything can bring us to an abrupt end. If only I can get some idea about her from her friends. Maybe I will arrange a party with a specific guest list.

"Is there anything you would like to share with me, Gracie?"

"What would you like to know?"

"Anything you feel comfortable sharing. I want you to feel comfortable around me. If we can not be honest about what we have done in life now then I do not think we would be any more honest later."

"You really want us to put everything on the table today?"

"Yes. Let it all out. If we can not do that now then it will only make it more difficult for us to do so later. I do not want any surprises later on that you have done something that I could not believe."

"Before I tell you about my story, is there any story you have involving legal issues?"

"Not that I can think of. I did not steal anything or start anything at a bar. Frederick and I have played jokes on the other club members, but they were all harmless and none of them knew it was us."

She had a smile on her face and then paused a bit. It is almost as if she worries that I will see her as less innocent in some way.

"Well one time a small group of my friends and I were upset at a particular guy who had mistreated one of my friends. The friend did not know we did this, but we did it for her. One of us got the idea of sneaking into the men's locker room and took that guy's clothes. We had made sure nobody was around. Not even the person at the front desk. He had to come out in a towel asking for help. It was funny to see him trying to find help and the guys teases him about it ever now and then."

"Oh, you are a trickster too. That is far worse than what Frederick and I had done to the guys. Now I have to worry about what your group of friends will do when ever I do something wrong to you."

"You think that you will mistreat me in some way?"

"No. If I do then it is unintentional. What else have you done?"

"I have been to Brussels with a few of my friends during a Summer holiday. A dear friend of mine and I had an interesting night one time with a local student at the university we were visiting. We were feeling spontaneous that night. Jolie had treated my friend and I to lunch the following day. I think you can figure out what type of night we had then. Similar to what you and Frederick did except we did not do it as much since we had to be extra careful."

"I do believe you are teasing me, Gracie."

"Am I?"

Her cheeks were all rosy again as she looked down at her plate and took another sip of wine. I was very tempted to lean over and kiss her, but again I sit in my seat restraining myself from making a passionate scene on her dining table.

"Where have you not been and would like to visit?"

"I have not been to Athens, Istanbul, Lisbon, Milan and Asia. It would be nice to see the different cities of France. My friends and I had only passed through Paris, but never really stayed to experience it more in depth. I would love to visit the French Riviera.

It would be nice to visit Denmark too. I can imagine having coffee in Vienna and ski in the Swiss Alps. If we ever go there together, I know how to keep you warm."

"I believe my beautiful Gracie is trying to torment me with that thought knowing we will not be able to go any time soon. You do have a darker side and I like it."

"You are making me blush too much, Leo."

"The love goddess will have her chance to make all of my skin rosy one day."

"Leo! You are too much. I do not think you will be content till you see me as red as a lobster."

"I was thinking more of as red as a rose, but if you rather be a tasty crustacean with claws then I will not object to that."

"Oh Leo. Stop it. You are being silly."

"When you are with me, the silliness is part of the package. You should see how silly Frederick and I get sometimes. When ever I want to go on a trip to Europe, he is always willing to join me. I do hope in the future that you will be the one to join me."

"It would be wonderful to see the old world charm with you, Leo."

"Do you have any best friend or childhood friend you feel comfortable with all the time?"

"I have a few. It really depends on the situation. The one that I had an interesting night with in Brussels is not here. She has moved to the upper West side of London. As for someone close by, it would have to be Natalie. What about you?

Is there someone else other than Frederick you are close to?"

"Humbly would be the one I talk to the most. I usually stay quiet around the other guys. All that is intimate and private, I usually share with Humbly and Frederick."

"What do you expect from a spouse?"

"I expect us to be honest, compromise, be understanding, open-minded and not have intention to hurt the other regardless of what happens. Do you agree with that?"

"Yes, I do. Is there any expectation to give up a professional life?"

"No. If it is too much to handle then do what is best. I can respect an independent woman. The strong and self sufficient ones are more appealing to me. I love a woman that can take charge and manage well on her own two feet. Less for me to worry about in the long term. It makes her a more reliable spouse.

I would not give up my business. It is a major part of my life and a family business that I do not want to see come to an end. I could not expect someone to give up something major for me. It is more difficult to juggle private life and work, but we need something to balance out our lives. Something we can always count on to be consistent that makes us feel that everything is alright."

"You will not feel less important in any way?"

"No. I should not. It would be the same the other way around. I do not expect my business to make any mate feel less important.

Hypothetically speaking, if it was Frederick and I who choose to live together and never date again, neither of us would give up our work. The deli shop is more than his work. It also represents tradition, culture and sharing good food with others. He could not expect me to leave my magazine business either.

If it is you, I could not expect you to toss away your family business. I am sure that you would want to hold onto it as long as you can. To ask you to leave it is selfish of me. I do not want you to give up anything that you do not want to give up.

What do you expect from your spouse?"

"I really would not expect anything different than what I have now except some more time together since both would live under the same roof. The equal amount of respect and trust if not more. I worry about being expected to do more and not be able to keep up. The expectations should be mutual and reasonable."

"I agree. The home should feel warm and charming. It should not be a place to fear or dread anything. There really is not anything I would ask for you to do that you do not feel comfortable doing, Gracie. I do not want you to be unhappy living with me."

"Do you really think that you will have an affair after marriage, Leo?"

"I do not know. What I do know is if you do have an affair, I will forgive you. There must be something that I have done wrong for you to seek comfort from someone else. If you ever choose to leave me without saying a word and months have gone by then I will not forgive you."

"Do you want to test how well we can handle not seeing one another for a few weeks?"

"If that would make you happy then I am for it. I am not fond of the idea, but if it will help you sort out your thoughts better then I am open to the idea."

"How about we do not see one another till the last week of December?"

"Does this mean not showing up at parties too?"

"Yes. We would attend different parties or one of us would have to stay away if it is the only party for the evening. Unless it is an absolute must that we attend the party to see specific people, we would do nothing more than greet and keep our distance."

"This will be difficult, but I will try. Aveline and Humbly could still see one another if they choose."

"Yes. It is only us that has to keep the distance."

As reluctant as I was about the idea, I had to agree with her. If I disagree then she would think I am being too pushy or forward. She wants time to be alone, I can respect that. This gives me more time to plan on where I want to propose to her.

Chapter 25 ==== Weeks Away From Her

The past week has been a bit rough not being able to talk to Gracie, but it gave me time to think about what we would discuss when we do see one another again. Distance can make the heart grow fonder, but only to a certain extent. After a while, the distance would only make the heart colder. Who would not be if there is love for someone and that one never bothers to show up again?

Is it that difficult for some to express their care and affection for someone special?

What a difference it makes to say hello or ask how life is for them. After all, people are social creatures that need to communicate sooner or later. But sadly, with all the ways we could communicate and education we receive, people still choose to cause tension between one another as if it would solve their problems by doing so. Even animals have a better sense not to be too petty.

I sit at the dining table waiting for dinner to be served and all I could think about was Gracie. Is it possible that even the most intellectual minds could run out of words after living together for a certain amount of years?

"Dinner is served, Sir."

"Lovely. What are we having tonight?"

"The main course is Carbonnade a la Flamande, a hearty, Belgian, beef stew made with Belgian beer. It was one of the recipes you have given me with the list of others that Mr. Nigel had brought to you, Sir."

"This will be delightful to try."

"I have also made Butternut squash baked with apples and cranberries."