Was It Real?

This is a true story about how I lost my virginity.

Since this topic hits very close to home for me, I did not have an editor, thus all the mistakes are my own. Please be forewarned that this is not my typical writing style. I apologize for the lack of details, however I wanted to write it completely from my memory, without adding embellishments. This story is choppy, partly due to my PTSD. Writing and submitting this story is part of the healing process for me- actually admitting and accepting that this happened to me.

Characters are over 18.

*****

He was a few years older than me. He was tall, hot, and played hockey. All the things that I wanted back then. We had been corresponding for quite awhile. One day at hockey practice, he had told me he was going to be there. I never actually talked to him face-to-face. He waved at me from the balcony of the arena and texted me that I looked cute that day. I got butterflies in my stomach, and being naive, I thought that he actually liked me.

A few weeks later, he texted me and said he'd be in town that weekend for a hockey game. He said he wanted to hang out with me. Around midnight, he texted me saying that he wanted to come over. I was really excited. I gave him my address and put my contacts in, hastily pulling on a black skimpy pajama top, along with the sexiest underwear I owned at the time. I remember sneaking downstairs and sitting in the brown reclining chair in my family room. I turned on the TV. I remember that Jersey Shore was on, and that was the first time I had ever seen it.

We corresponded via text for awhile, figuring out the schematics of my town. Eventually, I heard his loud truck, and he texted me that he was here, but couldn't get in the back gate. So I went, barefoot, without pants, without a bra, and basically naked, out in the freezing cold, stepping in snow to open the gate for him. When I reached the gate, I realized he wasn't alone. At this point, I was worried that someone would see me. I just quickly opened the gate, and ran back inside my house. I remember them coming in the door. I don't remember much about what happened right after that.

The next thing that I remember is him putting his hands on my shoulders and making me get down on my knees. I think he took off his pants. I can't remember. I can't remember what I was thinking. He was so big, he had to be at least 10 thick inches. He roughly grabbed my head, put his dick in my mouth, and ordered me to suck it. He began forcefully fucking my face as I held back tears. His one hand was roughly playing with my large breasts. I had no idea what I was doing. This whole time, the other guy was sitting on the couch. I don't know if he was watching, or what he was doing. He had his phone out. I prayed that he wasn't taking pictures or a video, or even worse, telling other guys to come over.

Finally, he had enough of my mouth. I was relieved that I could actually breathe again. Little did I know that the worst wasn't even close to being over yet. He moved me over to the reclining brown chair. He made me get on it, and kneel while he got behind me. He couldn't get inside me because I was so tight. He became really frustrated and mad. I think he kind of entered me for a little while because something felt weird and hurt a bit. By this time, tears were steadily streaming down my face. My tears dripped onto the chair since I had my head buried in it. He gave up on this position.

Then, he told me to lay down by the door that I had let him in. I remember the feeling of the rough carpeting on my back. I had no idea what to expect. It felt like I was in a dream, like it wasn't even real. He got on top of me. He entered me hard and it hurt so bad. I started fully crying. I tried not to start full-out sobbing because for some stupid reason I still wanted to please him, to make him like me. I wanted to be accepted. I remember just wanting it to be over. I just wanted it to stop. The pain was immense, my whole body ached.

I don't remember if he came in me or not. All I remember is me sucking his dick after because that's what I thought he would want. However, to my dismay, he looked at me really weird and laughed. I felt so stupid. In hindsight, I guess he must have cum on my face because I remember that he got cum in my eye. It stung so bad, and the next day I had a red eye.

Then he told me to suck his friend. So I got on my knees and crawled over to the couch. I took his dick out of his pants. It was really small and not hard at all. I did my best, but I don't think I ever got him to cum.

I remember them leaving. I heard someone coming downstairs. I barely had time to pull up my panties, and throw a blanket over me before my mom came down. She told me it was late and that I should go to bed soon. I remember thinking it felt like a dream and that it wasn't real. I sat there staring at the TV, not really seeing anything, just staring, blank, and emotionless.

Then, I remember going up stairs and into my bathroom. At this point, I questioned if things were real. Did it really happen? I took off my underwear and there was blood, a lot of it. I felt dizzy like I was going to pass out. I went to bed in a daze. The next morning, I went back to the bathroom and dug in the hamper. Sure enough, there they were again (my panties with blood on them.) The horrible soreness down there confirmed the truth as well.

I then knew it was real.