Watching a Movie with Emmy

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Please NOTE: This is a slightly revised story of a previously posted story. Some of the narrative was cleaned up and corrected. Presently, this story flows much better. The other story was titled: "Watching a Movie with Emily".

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It's hard to explain, but not seeing my little sister Emmy has made me really sad.

I've missed her so much since we've both moved out of the house. My role as big brother was really important, maybe because I know how much Emmy appreciated my help with everything.

My sister Emmy - well - her name is Emily really, but I've always called her Emmy. It's my little pet name for her, and I'm the only one that calls her that. Anyway, she was excited on the phone when I told her we should meet at the old family cabin over the winter break from college. It was an easy drive for both of us, and we always talked about how much fun we used to have there as little kids.

Since Dad's death a few years back, nobody had been to the cabin. Sometimes we would rent it out for part of the summer, but nobody from the family had been there in years. It was a long drive from our home, and the memories were just too much for Emmy and me. But now it was winter again, and it seemed enough time had passed that a weekend in the woods would be wonderful.

It was small, secluded and simple. Just what I felt I needed after all the confusing times away at college for my senior year.

Emmy was two years younger, and she was at a different college, and we tried to stay in touch by phone, but it just wasn't the same. I found that I was lonely without her. I really missed her, and I know she was feeling the same thing too.

But I worry about Emmy.

She has this really vulnerable way about her. She can be so emotional - and she can let herself get so worried about things. Even little things can really upset her. In a way, it can be sort of sweet, but at the same time, she can be so fragile too.

I feel like I should look out for her, to try my best to help her, and I guess I've always felt that way.

And - She has been upset lately, and I'm not sure why. Something happened at school and I don't know what it is, but she's been all insecure and sad during some of our phone calls. I really want to help. She's so sweet, and I really want is to see her happy.

There has always been a really powerful connection between us, a closeness that just feels wonderful. It's really important to me to be with Emmy, I mean - we have a marvelous attachment to each other that's hard to describe.

It was a long drive on Friday night after my last class of the week. I got to the cabin first, and it was eerie to drive through the snow down that dark, narrow road in the forest. But as soon as I stepped inside again, the smell and the quiet brought back so many wonderful memories.

I was surprised how little had changed.

I tidied up a little, and lit a small fire in the wood-burning stove.

Before too long I heard the door open, and there was my beautiful little sister Emmy, all bundled up with rosy red cheeks from the cold.

We hugged and tried to make small talk, but right away, it got all serious.

Talking about our family, and how much things have changed since we were little kids was hard for both of us. With Dad gone, it was just Mom now. And we both love her, but she is so strict, and so tense, and it's created so much stress in everyone. It's been sort of crazy lately.

I could tell my sister was getting emotional, trying to make sense of all the issues surrounding our family. I wanted to be helpful, but I worried that I just seemed to make things worse.

Finally I said, "Oh God, sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed - and it can be so sad."

Emmy replied "I know. I'm not used to being so confused, like I've been lately, and like I am right now,"

"It's okay, I understand, it's been hard for both of us."

"Maybe we should do something other than dwell on it. It's making both of us such downers."

"What can we do?"

We both sat quietly for a little bit, struggling with the intense emotions.

I eventually broke the silence with, "It's just to hard to deal with when all I want is to feel at peace. I'm not sure what to do? Are there any movies around the house?"

Emmy said, "Maybe, lemme look."

And then she went over to the couch and sat in front of the TV, and slid open a drawer under the set, and there were a hand full of DVD's inside.

She said, "Drat, a lot of these are kids movies,"

"They must be movies that got left here from the renters during ski season."

"What's this one?"

And then Emmy held up a disc in a blank CD case. No writing or label.

She said, "I don't know. It must be some movie that somebody burned."

"Let's see what it is."

And we put it in the DVD player and took the remote and tried to get it started. Something might have been wrong with the disc, or maybe the clicker, because it took a few tries to get it to start playing.

It seemed to start in the middle, and we watched a pretty lady with dark eyes alone in a room.

Emmy said, "This isn't the beginning, is it?"

"I don't think so..."

And then I hit the pause button, and instead of stopping, it jumped ahead to a new scene - you know, the way DVDs give you a choice on the scenes.

The image was of the same pretty woman and a man on a couch, it had a digital number 18 in the corner that was there for just a second, then it faded off. There was no dialog, they were sitting there quiet and calm.

Emmy said, "Hey look, that's how we used to sit on the couch when we watched TV as kids."

And she was right. The man was sitting upright on the couch, and the pretty woman was lying on her side, with her head on a pillow, and the pillow was in the man's lap. There was a fireplace in the background of the frame, and the man was gently caressing the woman as she lay across the couch.

I said, "That was always super cozy, watching TV like that."

"I remember I loved it, it was comfy on a cold night."

And the actor leaned in and tenderly kissed the woman on the ear and cheek.

"Turn it off for a little bit, okay - I don't wanna start it quite yet."

I tried stopping it, but the clicker seemed to barely work, I hit pause, but nothing happened.

I said, "Something's wrong with something here."

Suddenly, the image on the TV jumped ahead to what must have been the next scene, and it surprised both of us. It was sort of a close up, and it was of the same two folks, and they were obviously naked, and she was gasping. It was obviously a sex scene, and from what we both saw, it looked pretty graphic.

Right then, at that point I managed to pause it.

The image on the TV was a frozen scene of the woman, naked, on her knees, you could see her bare chest and obviously the man was - well - having sex with her, from behind. The actress was glossy with sweat, and that somehow added to the sexuality.

I said, "Oh my, I guess I was right, it IS a sexy movie."

Emmy didn't say anything, she just stared at the TV screen. The frozen image was lit with a dramatic moody glow, so it was a little bit obscure and hard to tell exactly what was happening.

Right then, I pushed the OFF button on the DVD player and the screen went blank.

I said, "Wow, that was pretty intense. Maybe we shouldn't watch this?"

And Emmy meekly answered, "I don't know, maybe not."

Then, as if we read each other's minds, we both got up off the couch, walked away from the TV and went into the kitchen.

Emmy said, "Listen, I am going to have a glass of wine. Please don't lecture me."

"Don't worry, you are 18 now, and it seems perfectly fine."

"I just hate the way Mom make's a big deal out of it."

"Mom makes a big deal about EVERYTHING."

Emmy added, "A little wine will help me relax."

"It's okay, maybe I'll have a little bit too."

Mom and Dad were always so strict about EVERYTHING. Having a glass of wine in the evening may seem normal to most folks, but it's something really scandalous in our family.

Emmy poured two glasses and then handed one to me.

"Here's to braking some rules."

"I'll drink to that."

And we touched our glasses and took sips.

I said, "It's funny how this seems like such a big deal, I mean having a little drink like this."

"Yeah - but it feels good doesn't it."

I laughed, "It sure does."

"And if Mom knew we had a movie of people fucking, she'd totally freak out!"

"Woah, and just think what would happen if Mom heard you say the F-word!"

And we both laughed.

Emmy looked at the wine in her glass, "Oh God -I need this to help me relax."

"I can tell something is wrong, and I don't want to pry."

"Yeah, that's part of the reason I wanted to see you, because I've been so upset."

"C'mon Sis, can you tell me what's been bothering you?

"I will - I want to - just give me a minute..."

"Of course, I want to help."

And we both sat down at the kitchen table and she took a big gulp of the wine.

She said, "Maybe you should pour me a little more."

And I did, and she took another sip.

I didn't want to put any pressure on her, but I could tell something was really bothering her, and I didn't want to make anything feel awkward.

Finally she said, "I saw a doctor, and she did some tests, and I'll never be able to have kids."

I was shocked, I said, "Emmy?"

She went on to tell me everything - about how she saw her gynecologist just last week, and she explained how her period was erratic. She did some tests and she said she was worried about something, and she did more tests. Eventually - it all pointed to one thing, that my beautiful sister was sterile. And she has always loved kids so much, and she would be such a wonderful mother.

I said, "Oh no, that's so sad.

"It is, but it feels so - I don't know, so hard to comprehend."

I asked, "How are you, I mean right now, is there anything that hurts, or do you feel unhealthy?"

"Oh, I guess my only pain is emotional."

"So it's not like you feel bad in anyway."

"No, I feel totally fine. Nothing is wrong at all in the way I feel. Actually, I feel really good."

"Emmy, I'm so sorry. Really, I am."

"It's sad, I know - but it's not going to effect me in any way, so there's nothing wrong, except I'll never be able to have a baby."

"I wish I could say something, to help."

And then, without realizing what was happening, I was crying. Not hard or anything, but tears were rolling down both cheeks.

Emmy got up from her side of the kitchen table, and she came around and hugged me.

I was still sitting, and she was standing, so I pressed my face into her chest, right below her neck, and she let me cry a little. We didn't say a word for a long time.

Even though Emmy is 18 years old, she's still really tiny, like the little girl I remember. And holding her like I was, she just felt so delicate and small in my arms.

I didn't really cry hard, but it felt good to know my sister cared and didn't judge me for being emotional.

Then, after I got it all out, I stood up. I am a lot taller than Emmy, and I gave her a tight strong hug, I squeezed nice and tight.

"Emmy, thank you, really."

She said, "I should thank YOU for being such a good bother."

"I wish I could help somehow, to make you feel better."

"You already have."

And then she gave me a quick little kiss on my wet cheek, and she stepped out of the kitchen.

She said, "I think I still have a pair of my old pajamas here in the cabin, I'm going to see it they are still upstairs."

And then she was gone.

I sat there at the kitchen table, all lost in my emotions. And then I heard the shower starting upstairs. I smiled when I heard the water running. The hot water heater is so small here at the cabin that it feels like you have to race to get in and out. I knew Emmy wouldn't last long because it just gets so cold so quick.

We used to make jokes that we had to wash our privates first, because that might be all the time we had before the water gets all freezing.

And then, just I as suspected, the water was off. Emmy got just a few minutes, and that's all.

I went into the main room, where the couch and the TV along side the big wood burning stove. The room was getting cold as it got later. I carefully built a fire, and put in a few big logs, and then I closed up the big iron door. It would eventually warm the room up, but for now it was still cold.

I went to the kitchen, and brought the wine and two glasses in and set it on the little table in front of the couch.

I stood there in the room, feeling emotional about my sister and everything she's been through. It was hard for me, I feel so protective and worried sometimes.

Then, Emmy came down the stares, and she didn't seem sad at all. She was smiling! It was the first time I had seen her look happy in a long time.

She announced, "Look! I'm wearing my old pajamas!"

And - I was shocked - she looked SO cute. She had on the same baggy pajamas she always wore as a little girl, She isn't really any taller than she was when she used to wear them, so they still fit almost perfectly.

I said, "Oh my God Emmy, you look exactly the same. Let me see you."

She stood there for me to look at her.

She was wearing a normal pair of pajamas, they were powder pink with little cats on them. Except now she was just tall enough that I could see her belly button because the top fit just a little shorter than it used to just a few years ago.

She had been so skinny as a girl, a little gangly tomboy, but now she has curvy hips, a cute tummy, and small round breasts. She looked all grown up and womanly.

I said, "Wow, you look great."

She said, "I found my old pillow, and my old blanket too!"

With that, she tossed both of them on the couch and climbed on and wrapped herself in the blanket.

She said, "It's cold."

"I fired up the wood stove."

"Was there enough wood?"

"Oh yeah, I packed it full, so don't worry about being cold."

"Oh GOOD, I always used to just LOVE the way this room would get all nice and warm"

"There's a lot of wood in there, it may end up getting too warm."

And then she looked at the table in front of the couch. She quickly sat up and reached out for the wine glass. She took another big gulp.

Then she said, "This may sound funny, but this helps. I really feel less stressed out after just this glass of wine."

I sat down next to her on the couch.

Then she asked, "This movie has that sex scene in it, right."

"I have no idea what it is. If you want - We can watch something else."

She giggled, "Oh please, I'm not 12 years old."

"But with those pajamas, you sure look like you're 12 years old."

"Hey, I thought we were breaking the rules."

I reached for my glass of wine and said, "I'll drink to that!"

"Wine for grown ups, and a movie for grown ups."

We touched our glasses and both drank. The wine flooded me with a comforting warm sensation.

Then Emmy said, "Besides, the only other movie in that box was The Little Mermaid."

I moved toward Emmy on the couch in the spot I always used to sit. And she immediately put the pillow in my lap and she moved in close to me.

She asked, "Is it okay? Can I?"

"Oh God, of course!"

And then she lay her head down on the pillow, just like she used to.

She said, "Mmmmm, this feels so nice."

I suddenly said, "You smell like the apricot soap!"

"I know, it's still up there, I was so happy that it was still here."

There was a big stack of this fruity smelling soap under the sink. And it's lasted years, and for some reason the sweet smell just seemed to bring back a flood of memories.

I said, "I always loved that soap."

"Me too."

"You took a short shower, with that tiny hot water heater..."

"Yeah, I wanted to wash my hair, but I never got that far."

I laughed and said, "We always used to joke, privates first!"

"I did wash my privates first, and that's all I could do! It felt like I barely got the soap on me, and then the water was getting cold."

It was a funny thought, my sister trying to rinse the apricot soap off her cute butt with cold water.

Then my sister settled in and got a little more comfortable.

I sat there for a moment, and Emmy was facing away from me, so I could look at her in her pajamas. It was funny, to look at her body. Her bottom was different from the last time I saw her. As a little girl she was skinny and such a tomboy. But now, her bottom was something totally captivating. It was round and plump and amazingly cute.

I cautiously asked, "Are you sure you want to see this?"

"I think so, I mean - I've never seen a movie like this before..."

I asked again, "Are you sure?"

"I think so, I guess I want to finally see something - well - something Mom would forbid..."

It felt nice to hear her being so defiant.

I said, "Good for you."

So I used the clicker and pressed play. But that same scene came up, it had a digital number 18 in the corner that was there for just a second, then it faded off. It was that same scene showing the man and the woman on the couch, in pretty much the same pose we were in.

Emmy said, "Hey look, it's like a mirror, it's us."

"You're right, it's us - in the same pose."

"Almost. Let me move a little so I'm just like her, and you need to sit up more, to match him."

I moved to match the screen. I added, "How's this?"

"Good, and I'll curl up more, just like her."

And we both adjusted ourselves to EXACTLY match the image on the TV. The man was gently caressing the woman's hair. And I did that to Emmy. I was surprised how nice it felt. My sister didn't seem to mind that I was touching her hair along the edge of her neck, just like on the screen.

She giggled and said, "It's funny, that we are on the couch like this, I mean - just like them."

We watched for a moment more, and I spoke up.

"Emmy, I think this is the beginning of the naughty part of the movie."

"I think so too."

"Maybe we should start it from the beginning. We may not like it, but we can always switch over to The Little Mermaid."

"Okay."

"Let me see if I can figure out how this works."

I took the remote and tried to start the film. It took a while, because it seemed stuck, it just wanted to restart the same scene over and over, number 18, with the man and the woman on the couch.

But after a bunch of tries, I managed to start it at the beginning.

I said, "Finally!"

Emmy said, "It's like the DVD player is haunted."

The movie started off, and it seemed like it was going to be really good. It was beautifully filmed, and the staring woman was really gorgeous.

At one point I said, "This movie might be good."

"Maybe."

And, then there was a scary sequence. The pretty woman was walking home at night along a dark road, and she thought she might be followed by someone.

Emmy squirmed on the couch and said, "Oh no, I get so scared at stuff like this."

"Don't worry, it's just a movie."

"But you know how stuff like this effects me."

"I know - I remember how you acted when you were a little girl."

"I still act that way. I take movies way TOO seriously they can still totally freak me out."

Right then, I gently put both hands on her, on her shoulder under her old blanket - and I put my other hand on her head.

I whispered, "It's okay."

And we watched as the scene played out. The woman made it home fine, but it was obvious that someone had been following her. During this creepy scene, I gently caressed Emmy, trying to make her feel safe. She even gave my hand a little pat and whispered a quiet thank you.

Actually, right then, I found it hard to concentrate on the movie, I was getting all entranced by Emmy and her soft hair and the smooth feeling of her body under the blanket.

Then, after a little while, Emmy asked, "Is it getting hot in here?"