Watching Jenna Ch. 03

Please remember this is a copyrighted work and all legal disclaimers apply.

I'm sure there are some errors and I do care.

Thank you for your comments.

The plot of this story is includes three women and they are tied to the earlier submitted story "Watching Jenna".

"Watching Jenna IV" is underway.

*****

Scene Twelve: Keith & Leyna

We had been close years earlier but then she disappeared. Only years later did I understand how this occurred and how my parents had coped with her absence. The hurt was deep for them but they had to move on after she left.

Leyna was born eighteen months after I was and we grew up near Cleveland. The family benefited from my dad's engineering experience but he was older than our mom. By the time 'Lenny' was starting upper school the Gross Hill neighborhood had adjusted to the well earning black families who had settled into the comfortable white enclave.

Saying that Leyna was different from most kids growing up would be understating her early life. I knew she wasn't meant to be a boy but I couldn't have expressed my thoughts. I was a loose cannon chasing every girl I knew and wasn't very supportive of her issues. My selfishness is not why she left though.

Everything about Lenny screamed 'I am a Girl' yet my mom resisted allowing her gender issues to be exposed beyond the front door. When she ran away my folks were beside themselves with blame and sadness. Well until some three months later and then something changed and they just seemed to forget about my younger brother. There was almost no mention of Lenny from months.

I was distracted by my own issues and didn't really bother with the loss of the brother whom everyone picked on and laughed about. In my life I now regret that insensitive period. In her absence the noise just stopped. I guess I felt it was easier to forget.

My father passed away about two years later and after the funeral my mother sat me down and explained as much as she could about their marriage, the financial situation dad left for us and my 'sister'.

"Jerome was a good man and a hard worker Keith," mom said.

"His salary and death benefits have secured my future and yours but he was troubled when I met and married him and only with good surroundings and love did he develop into a good man and father."

When my dad was young he was living the split life as many bisexual men did in the time of Aids. His sexuality wasn't an issue to my mother and helped him adjust and clean up his life. The design world of automobiles provided his steady creative mind with good projects and she provided the freedom for him to be himself. That included Leyna and me. He was a good father but he was years older than my friends' dads.

When I heard the story of my sister's flight over two years later I was shocked at first. That these two loving parents would allow their child the exit from their comfortable family life to make her own way in the world was crazy, except it wasn't. It was the correct path at the time and Leyna benefited while I was in the dark for some months.

Lenny had met a woman who understood her gender issues at the local community recreation center. Lenny was a good tennis player and Sandra had been her part-time coach when Lenny shared his need to be a female. This woman did not kidnap my 'sister' but she provided a sanctuary for the first weeks after Lenny had left the house.

Our world was turned upside down by Lenny's leaving and as each week passed with no clue of what had happen my mom grew despondent. Dad seemed more even through this time but it may have been that he had his work keeping him focused. The police stopped the intense search after five fruitless weeks.

Another two months had passed when Lenny called my father and explained why she had left home and of her gender change. I wasn't around at this time due to my new special art school and the work and travel kept me too busy to worry about Lenny.

On the phone she told dad, "I'm safe and you can't find me for I need to be what I feel I am. I'm using a pay phone so any trace will end up useless. I hope that you can forgive me for not explaining my need and for running. I can tell you it was due to your love and guidance that I found the strength to commit to becoming a woman."

She also told him that she was living out-of-state and had begun to adjust her body with hormones and that she was not on the street.

"My name is now Leyna. Just let me be where I am now for several months. Then I will contact you and mom."

All the while she was living less than a mile away in the carriage house of Sandra's small estate near the lake.

"Leyna is a beautiful name," said Sandra. They had been looking for an alternative to 'Shay' that Lenny first called herself when she arrived at Sandra's.

"Does it feel good to see the small changes?" Sandra continued.

"Of course Sandra. The chemicals are doing wonders. Three months and look at my breasts."

The two were in Sandra's living room yet Leyna lifted her top and smiled.

"You must wear a bra though sweetie. The growth is amazing but to what negative affect?"

Leyna had been on a hormone treatment that Sandra's ObGyn had suggested for twelve weeks. The doctor didn't see the resemblance to the photos all over town about my missing brother. 'Lenny Smith' was shown as a boy of about sixteen years, five foot five and a hundred pounds. The light skinned African-American boy pictured had dyed his hair nearly blonde the prior year so the photos given the Police were of no help. Leyna had cut off her hair as soon as she had arrived at Sandra's home and her whereabouts and look would never be associated with the missing youth.

"My penis and scrotum have shrunk as the Doctor told me. That's fine. I feel more feminine each week Sandra."

This relationship was not sexual and Sandra was home-schooling Leyna and teaching her french as well. The two lived alone in the large house and only an old maid was aware of Sandra's new charge.

"It's a wonderful thing, your helping that young girl Mrs. Hartwick. She looked in need of care when she arrived. Her head hairless and so skinny."

Sonia had worked for the Hartwick's since nineteen eight-five and her vision at seventy-three years was not very good. She cleaned and cooked and still went to the market as well. The old Pontiac had several scraps and dents from her trip incidents.

Upstairs in the Carriage House was a dance studio and Leyna used the space everyday. The multiple mirrors helped her see her progress though she would never get to en-point like Sandra could.

Ten months after leaving Leyna sent my mom and dad a set of photos to help them comprehend her new life. She and Sandra had driven to New York just to have the images made with a talented photographer.

The following week she called and spoke with mom.

"I'm doing very well and I am happy mom. It's important that you are aware that I am a young woman today. I will require your assistance soon as my identity papers will need to be updated."

She told mom that she would only come home when she was legally a female.

"I have spoken with a lawyer and she has suggested that filing for the name and gender changes must wait another two years. That is unless you will consider signing the paperwork mom then the change can happen sooner. I will have to stay away until then without your signature."

So my brother Lenny became Leyna but her legal name change would still take fifteen months.

My dad died a little over a year later. I didn't meet Leyna at dad's funeral service. She was there but I would not have recognized her. There were several people who asked who she was but mom said she was a niece of dad's from New York. This meant she had remained a mystery even to me as I had only spent a few minutes with her after the service. A month later mom told me that Leyna was the beautiful girl at the service.

"Your sister might still need time Keith. I haven't seen her since the funeral. She has grown tall," mom said.

Then she showed me the pictures from several years ago.

"I don't see Lenny in this picture. Leyna is a cool name though," I said quietly and feeling weird and somewhat guilty. I had been so self-focused back then. I surely hurt my sister by not caring.

Looking at the photo I recalled that the girl at the funeral was nearly my height, tall for a woman. Her hair was straightened and fell to the middle of her back. She had worn a black dress and heels. I now knew I had a sister but she again disappeared quietly after the prayer service. Well at least to me.

Almost three years later I received a text from an unknown number:

' brother its me and I'm in town care to meet your sister? '

Then a text picture came and she was smiling. The message below said simply ' please '

So began a new chapter in our lives as we had much in common and found we needed each other. She had asked mom for my cell number. I hadn't seen her in more than four years.

Leyna was doing some mid-level modeling and she danced for a small theater group based in the City. I had moved to Akron the year before so we somehow found time to visit every few months.

"Keith it is so good to see you," she said as we embraced when she got off the train.

As I held her I thought this person I'm hugging is my brother who had long ago disappeared. Leyna was a woman of twenty-one years.

On our third visit she had traveled to Akron for the long weekend. We were together the month before and she had explained some of what she had been through and the difficult adjustments she had endured during the stay with Sandra.

"It wasn't exactly lonely but she and I kept to ourselves for fear of discovery Keith. I didn't look like old Lenny but Sandra was an enabler and an accompanist to my running away and I didn't want to jeopardize her which would have ended badly for both of us."

Now she seemed relaxed around her big brother but she wasn't very talkative so I would lead the conversation.

"The model stuff, is it hard?"

"Yes and no. The jobs require travel and getting up early. That means getting good sleep. No girl is beautiful if she is overtired."

She told me her pay was increasing now that she had been published.

"I think the dancing has helped also. My tummy has good definition now but also it has doubled my contact list."

I wondered about dad's support prior to his passing and the Police search.

"When I made contact with dad he immediately understood. Later mom told me of his sexual past and explained that he didn't want me to be unsettled. He was actually happy I wasn't on the street and he sent Sandra money each month to help with my expenses. She used a postal box. I deeply regret that I did not get to see him before he died Keith. He was nearly twenty years older than mom but did you know he was seventy-two?"

I had seen the death certificate and was shocked by his birth year. He was a war baby. My dad could have passed for a man of fifty-five; good skin and hair, fit. Except for his heart.

"Mom called the Police a few days after my contact back then and explained that I was safe. She told them I was living on the west coast. I still lived with anxiety each day though, that I might be found."

Leyna told me of her life with Sandra.

"Once my hair grew back I could easily pass as female so we were less frighten of being discovered. She bought me clothes and taught me to move like a girl but also she began to train me to dance. The modeling started when I was still seventeen. I had received new papers with the help of Sandra and mom so there were no questions."

I wondered how she had decided against college.

"Having a good tutor in Sandra made it easy and we did get to travel once my passport was changed."

I asked her if Sandra and her were lovers but she laughed at the suggestion.

"I like boys and girls Keith but she never was a predator, if anything she was my second loving mother."

"Fairy Godmother is more like it Leyna," I suggested.

Later while we shared a chardonnay she told me that her sexual activity was null.

"I just have trouble explaining my history and therefore I just stay clear of sex."

After her first visit we began to talk regularly on the phone and over several months I began to understand her new world. I wondered how anyone her age could remain celibate. She had transitioned easily before her natural hormones could affect her. Her body was so feminine I had to pause when I was around her. Yet her sexuality hadn't evolved.

"You haven't been to, I mean you are a virgin Leyna?"

We were making lunch at my pad during her second visit and she was dressed in an old pair of boys Levis, and a half-sleeved top in black that exposed her bellybutton piecing.

"Technically yes since I have never entered a vagina nor allowed a penis inside me Keith. But I have played around with several of the girls I've met. Lesbian sex you know, but not penis stuff."

I stopped and considered this. At almost twenty-two she had no one special and she had just reintroduced herself to me just three months ago.

"Well you just get yourself off Keith. Surely you can understand," Leyna said as she washed the lettuce. The matter of fact nature of her statement made me aware that we were growing close again.

She spoke of several good male and female friend that seemed to be close enough for her to share the gender change past with.

"No way. My career is dependent on my being female and I can't risk how I make my rent Keith. You have promised to never share the background remember?"

I assured her that I would protect her as well as her secret.

I also traveled north to visit her and was surprised at the cool apartment and her taste.

"The modeling is lucrative?" I asked as I looked out toward the lake.

She smiled, "So long as I'm thin, tall and beautiful Keith. But Sandra has continued to help me financially."

They had seen each other for almost all the holidays. Leyna visited mom when she went back as well. She seemed very well adjusted and settled.

"But I am lonely sometimes big brother."

I asked her if she could ever be with a man and she turned her head away and cried softly.

"How can I Keith? What if they went off on me, a transwoman? I weight a hundred and fifteen pounds and I fear being beaten."

She told me she saw herself as bisexual.

"Being near the women in the runaway shows is exciting but my hormones have reduced my penis to barely there you know?"

I didn't at that time know how small she was.

"Yeah by the time my breasts were a full C-cup my penis was about an inch long and still it doesn't get hard," she held her pinky up toward me to emphasis the point.

I asked if she was still taking anything.

"Certainly but a very low dose. It keeps my skin soft and my body thin too and it helps my hair."

I wondered if she wanted or had considered surgery.

"No way Brother. I don't need the extra hole to make me feel female and if I wanted to have sex there are other ways."

I thought of her body for the first time in a sexual way. That she could be a boy was obviously impossible yet she still had the testes and penis of a boy.

Later I was on-line reviewing a site that discussed the sexuality of my sister. I saw images of truly beautiful transwomen that when you lowered your eyes had equipment for some level of penetration. The idea that Leyna had a small member meant what? That she was less desirable from the 'girls' with dicks larger than my own. I stopped my search and went to bed.

I had also visited a European website where I found images of transfemmes that never exposed their genitals. Many were simply feminine and each seemed to want to be seen as women, at least to my eyes these girls were female. I considered this as it related to Leyna. She wasn't posting her image on the web. She had a real career and she didn't want that kind of attention. She did need friends though.

"So you have found some friends in the City?"

She looked a bit sad.

"Sure and several are quite close but they don't know of my gender issues Keith. I met several of them on assignments. Shelly is actually my closest. She works at the cosmetics counter at Marshall Field but used to model. I think she has guessed about me now. We've known each other for two and a half years."

I told Leyna that I was glad she had asked mom for my cell number. Maybe I could still be important to her somehow.

On early Monday morning she had a car arriving to take her to a photo-shoot south about an hour. I suggested that I could drive her.

"I'll need an hour and a half to prepare Keith. I will be up about five-thirty."

I saw her off at seven that morning. She looked absolutely amazing in her high heels and a wrap dress of deep blue. Her face work wasn't over the top.

"The team for this photo spread is the best. They'll do my makeup when I arrive after eight."

Standing watching the car leave I noticed I was stiff; I needed to pee. I had awakened as she was nearly ready to leave but hugging my sister caused me to imagine her body.

Several months later I asked Leyna to come visit for a long weekend. I wanted her to meet some of my friends and maybe go dancing. We would hang out and spend time with each other. Deep down I was hoping that she could feel better about her sexual gender. I enjoyed her company but I felt that she had to work too hard at protecting her secret.

"Sure Keith. I have some free time. Maybe I will get the train Wednesday afternoon."

She would use the second bedroom suite of my simple place but when she arrived she had three bags.

"You said we were going out right? Dancing and stuff? Well then I would need a wardrobe for the weekend. Don't look at me like that!"

I traveled light but her point hit home. I shouldn't assume that she could or would.

I had taken off Thursday afternoon and we met at an espresso bar across of the art museum. My sister caused a stir just standing there in her nearly five-inch heels and a flowing red dress. Damn she was beautiful. There were men and women checking her out as we walked about viewing the Matisse exhibit.

"Is this level of attention normal for you Leyna?" I asked.

She looked discreetly about, "Only when I'm dressed like this Keith. Do you think they think we are a couple?"

There were two girls starring at us.

"Let's rile them," and she turned and kissed me on the lips as her arms came around me. I was as surprised as the two watchers.

As she stopped the kiss she turned to the taller girl and said, "He's my big brother girls. You want some of this?" Her hand swept down my torso.

I hadn't expected the display and wondered how I would manage her tomorrow night at the Club. She seemed pleased with herself.

"Well that gets that out of the way Keith. Now you know I am a woman and your sister so try and control your package. I won't be sleeping with you dude."

She told me that she had felt my excitement when she had left early that morning of her last visit.

We had dinner at a small café' and again the eyes were on Leyna all night. My sister was well trained by Sandra and she now educated me regarding the art of the Impressionists as we enjoyed some wine and food.

"Post-Impressionist is really just early modern though."

I was full of the art talk, "Let's discuss my friends that you will meet tomorrow sis."

I told her about Michaela and Cathy.

"Cathy seemed to have Michaela now," I said. "I tried to date her you know, but Cathy has filled her heart."

I also explained that I was bisexual.

She asked, "Did you know of dad's past?"

I assured her I had come to my own knowledge of both sexes.

"I'm not into guys per se, just I have been with one or two men."

She was curious now and moved closer so that the nearby diners wouldn't hear our discussion.