We Had It All - Aftermath

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fawguy88
fawguy88
540 Followers

2. We Had it all -- Release and Reality

I had sat my final exams while out on bail pending my trial and received confirmation that I had passed whilst serving my sentence, at least the five long years of hard work had some practical outcome!

When I was released from prison and my father met me at the gates. He had been my only visitor during my time inside, not that he ever forgave me for cheating on Gary, but because as he said, "He was my father and loved me, but that did not mean that he liked me very much." I was surprised by his attitude to Gary, when we first started courting, he made it clear that Gary was not good enough for me and blamed him for getting me pregnant in the first place. Throughout our marriage, he had remained civil to Gary, but never really showed him any respect. I wondered what had caused this transformation, so I asked him outright! He said, "When you first got divorced, you were in prison. Hazel and Gemma consistently refused to visit with us and your mother was distraught. Gary invited us over one day without informing his daughters and sat us all down together and laid down the law to them. He told them both that he was ashamed of them when they refused to write to you and had regretted not forcing the issue. He was not prepared to allow them to drift away from their grandparents and ordered them to behave like adults they were becoming." Things improved from that point and they now saw their grandchildren every week and had them over for tea after school sometimes.

He was relating this story as we drove back towards our home town. I was surprised when we turned into my old street and parked on the driveway of my old home. "Why are we here? I expected the house to sold by now! There's no way Gary could afford the mortgage without my income to help!" My Dad smiled and said, "Mark has moved out and found himself a new home for him and the kids. He has left you a letter inside that will explain it all. I suggest you read that and thank your lucky stars that he has been so considerate."

So, that was how it came to pass that I came to find myself alone in what used to serve as the family home? I picked up Gary's letter once more and read it for the second time. He had obviously taken his time and had composed this letter carefully, if somewhat abruptly, not that I could fault him for that.

Firstly, he explained that he had been lucky and won a large sum of money on the Lottery, he didn't mention the sum, I found that out later. The house was now mine, he had paid off the mortgage, and it was mine to do with as I pleased! He had closed our joint bank account and opened a new one in my name at the same branch. The funds and what meagre savings we had had been transferred into the new account. The old Volvo that I used to drive was now in the garage and was mine as well. Lastly he told me that I could see the kids whenever I wished and all I had to do was phone him to make arrangements. He simply signed it, Gary.

I was overwhelmed and started to cry, he had been more generous than I could ever have hoped for, the house, the car and about £1,700 in the bank! The best news of the lot, was of course, granting me unlimited access to my children. During my incarceration, I wrote to my children every week, but apart from a response letter from Gary a short time after my first letter explaining that my girls did not wish to write to me. He said he had tried to convince them to write, but they had refused. He also forwarded pictures of the three of them sitting together on a beach in Portugal. That was thoughtful of him and I wrote back thanking him. He did not respond! But, I continued to write to them even if they didn't reply!

I met with my Probation Officer, the next day and we discussed what I was going to do next. I told her that I wanted to make my peace with my ex-husband and re-establish contact with my children. After that, a job was my first priority and within a week she had managed to find a large manufacturing company that was prepared to take the risk on me.

My boss was called Martin Mears and he was not a tall man of around five six or seven, but he was almost as round as he was tall. He was polite to me and apart from at the interview, never made any reference to my time in prison and for that I was grateful. I soon understood how they worked things and within a week I had mastered their accounting practices as it was all fairly standard stuff. The other office staff were all friendly towards me, particularly the younger males. They sought me out at tea breaks at lunch time and were always complimenting me on my clothes and appearance. It was one of the other women who put me wise to what was going on. Her name was Sheila and she collared me after work one night during her second week there. "Been divorced long Debbie?" she asked when they were alone.

I was surprised that she had guessed and asked, "Is it that obvious?"

"You bet. You can try and hide it but everyone knows that you're a divorcee. Your ring finger is still bears a white band where your rings were and you never gossip about the man or men in your life. "The guys in there," Sheila said nodding back into the office building. "They had you sussed almost within minutes of you starting. A pretty young woman, clearly no longer attached, who by now must be gagging for it! Well that's how they view it believe me and I'm one who knows, they all tried it on with me in the beginning, so much so that I had to start wearing my rings again and talking about my husband being a rugby forward. That calmed their ardour a bit. If you don't want their attention, I suggest you do something similar."

I felt totally shocked. Was I that transparent? I suggested to Sheila that we went for a drink and she could give me some pointers about how to survive life after marriage. We had that drink and it was to be the first of many nights we spent together. She turned out to be the woman friend that I never really had through the years I was married to Gary. If I had a friend such as she, maybe I would still have been married!

The first thing I did, once I had confirmation that I had secured a job, I picked up the phone and rang the number Gary had left for me. Gary answered it and he must have recognised my voice, "Hello, I guess you got my letter. I've been waiting for your call. The girls are at school and Danny is at nursery. I guess we need to meet and discuss the arrangements for you to see your children."

Not our children I noted and replied, "Your children too!"

"Not all of them!" he replied coldly!

"Look, I don't want to get into a slanging match over the phone, can I come over, or do you want to come here?" I said quietly.

"I'll be over shortly. Put the kettle on." He ordered.

Typical, I thought, at least that hasn't changed, he always did like his tea. I did a quick check and discovered my Mum had thoughtfully supplied a load of basic shopping necessities. I put the kettle on and out of habit was checking my make-up and hair with butterflies invading my belly while I waited his arrival. The doorbell rang I moved from my position at the window where I stood to watch for him to arrive. His car was a new Range Rover and even I could appreciate the elegant beauty of such a huge vehicle. I hurried to the door and with a quick glance in the mirror to check my hair, I opened the door and nervously stood back to allow him to enter. "You don't need to ring the doorbell to this house, you should know that!"

"This is not my house any longer and we are divorced, in case you've forgotten. I will never walk in here un-announced!" he replied coldly. He brushed past me and walked into the living room and stood waiting until I invited him to sit down. I poured the tea and handed him his cup, all the while thinking how good he looked. He had lost weight a looked as fit as he did when he boxed regularly. At my trial, he looked rather podgy.

Without preamble he said, "I have given this a lot of thought and I want you to feel free to visit the girls at any time and take them out for the day. They are at the stage where they need their mother. Hazel in particular has been affected by our divorce far more than I realised. I have been having issues with her behaviour and have been forced to ground her on too many occasions lately. I think she is running around with a bad crowd, smoking, drinking and God knows what else. I suspect she may even be using drugs, but she just ignores me when I question her, that or flies of the handle and accuses me of being dictatorial towards her. Gemma too has her moments and the likes to ignore me as much as possible. Of our three kids, only Danny behaves what I would call normal. So you see, our children need you and don't underestimate the job you will face trying to win back their respect. I tried to shield them from the reason for our break up, but the trial put paid to that! They know all about your affair and have not yet come to terms with it."

He paused to take a sip of tea and I jumped in, "Please don't think I'm making this up or trying to cause you more pain, but I think you should have Danny's DNA sampled and tested. I have been giving the timing a lot of thought and believe that there's a better than even chance that he is your son!"

"But YOU told me that he wasn't mine, way back! Why the sudden change of mind? He asked.

"I was angry and wanted to hurt you so I lashed out with the only weapon I had, and as I said, the timing is one thing and you only have to look at him to see, he looks more like you than Mark. I'm sorry for the affair and causing you all that distress, but prison gave me the chance to reflect on my behaviour and I'm sorry for being such a slut! I behaved appallingly and want to apologise to you."

Ignoring my apology, he looked at me and said, "I'll think about the DNA test, but please remember, he's my son irrespective of who's his biological father. You know that if you had just waited another year before going after some strange, we could have had it all. The money, a big house and everything we ever dreamed of. In case you are under any illusion, we will never get together again! I loved you unconditionally and you betrayed me and I will never forget that! The hate and bitterness have had time to dilute and I no longer want to punish you or make you feel just some of the hurt that you caused me. Just so you know, I think it will be better coming from me, I have a girlfriend and we are starting to get serious. She has not moved in with me yet, we are hoping that once Hazel is back on track, we can cement our feelings. On that subject, if you ever have the kids overnight, I will ask you not to have a male friend stopping over, at least until things stabilise."

"You don't have to worry on that score, I don't have any male friends and I doubt if our neighbours will be pleased to see the slut back in circulation. They will be watching their husbands like hawks, not that I'm interested in any of them in any case!" I replied.

We talked for more than an hour and when he left, I felt quite pleased about how it went. At least we were talking and the angst was gone. I never really felt that getting back together was an option and in any case, I knew that I didn't want that. Yes, I wanted a man or men in my life, but I was free now to explore my sexuality and intended to take every opportunity that came along.

More worrying was the problem of Hazel! In the past, I would have called my mother for advice, but from her tone when I had talked to her earlier, made it clear that I was not one of her favourite people right now. I had arranged with Gary to go round that evening to talk to the kids and try and start building bridges.

I took extra care with my dress, deciding Jeans and sweater was more appropriate as I intended to take them all out for a McDonalds or Pizza. I picked them up at six and at first things were very strained, Hazel was sullen and hardly uttered a word, but at the same time, clear that she resented being forced into spending time with me. Gemma took her lead from her big sister and she only responded when asked a question. Danny, bless him, seemed not to notice the chill coming from his sisters as he kept up a barrage of questions about where I had been, why I was not living with them anymore. Questions, that I tried to answer honestly, conscious that the girls were hanging on every answer. We had pizza and slowly things seemed to get a little better. I didn't broach Hazel's issues with her Dad, I wanted to get her alone for that! By the time I got them back to their Father's house, they were at least trying to make some conversation and I arranged to pick them up the following Saturday morning and take them out for the day.

It took time but over the next month or so, things gradually improved and between Hazel and I. I arranged to meet her on our own and had a long heart to heart. The topic got onto boys and sex and I asked her gently, "Are you still a virgin?"

She blushed and shook her head. The follow up was obvious, "Are you taking the pill?" Another shake of her head, her eyes downcast and refusing to meet mine followed. I realised that what I said next could define our relationship, so I calmly told her about the circumstances leading to her birth. I ended the story by saying, "Don't ever think that the way you were conceived had anything to do with the break-up of your Dad and I's marriage. You're Dad and I love you very much and we had some good years together before I screwed it all up! I hope you can see now why we both are concerned about you. We don't want you to make the same mistakes that we did. I'm not telling you not to have sex, God knows you're Dad and I were at it like rabbits, but first thing tomorrow we will go and see about getting you on the pill. I'm sure you already know this, but you need to insist that the boys also use condoms, AIDS is only one of many STD's and you need to protect yourself. It was different when I was your age we still had STD's but not this AIDS thing. I find the thought of catching something like that very scary. So please give some thought to your own health when you are sexually active."

She looked at me with a bit more of an understanding as to why this conversation was taking place. She asked, "I take that Dad been telling you about my misbehaviour and that he suspects I am doing drugs and drinking alcohol and stuff?"

"Of course he has, we're still your parents and only want the best for you. Divorce doesn't change our parental responsibilities. He loves you but could not seem to communicate with you. Can you imagine your Dad trying to have this conversation with you?" I asked with a smile and she started giggling and soon had me giggling with her at the very thought!

She assured me that she was not into drugs, but admitted to drinking alcohol when she was out with her friends. I gave this a lot of thought and said, "I can't order you not to drink, I know that would be a waste of time, but you must always be very careful with whom you drink. It's always better if you're with a crowd of friends who will watch out for you if you get smashed. That and never leave you're drink unattended, some boys may well try and spike it when you're not watching!"

After that conversation, thing between us started improving and Gary also noticed the change in her attitude for which he was very grateful. Gary reported that she was no longer giving him grief all the time and he could now have a conversation with her without any eruptions of fury. Christmas was looming and Gary told me that he and his girlfriend, Penny want to start living together early in the New Year. I had met Penny a couple of times, a few years younger than me and she seemed very nice. I wished him well and asked if he had told the girls. He seemed a bit embarrassed but said, "That's the thing Debbie, do you think you could sow the seed, so to speak? I don't want to spring it on them out of the blue, but thought if you were to mention in conversation that it might happen one day, then they would at least be prepared for the possibility."

I laughed out loud and he got that frown I knew so well. I couldn't resist teasing him a little, "So you want me to prepare the way and tell our girls that you are going to shack up with your lover?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it quite like that, but essentially, yes that's what I am asking of you. Is there some problem?" he asked me.

"Well, I can't help but reflect on the irony of the situation." I said smiling at him, "The ex-wife clearing the way for the woman who replaced her in her husband's life."

He saw that I was teasing him and laughed with me, then asked again, "Well, will you?"

"Of course I will. It will probably come better from me than you in any case. It will show them that there's no animosity between us and if I can accept being replaced by a younger model, then they can also learn to accept the fact that life goes on." I told him smiling once more.

"Thank you Debbie, I've been so worried about how to approach the subject and kept asking myself, what would I do if they object to our living together?."

It was good to see him so happy again and just for a moment I regretted ever cheating on him, but only for a moment. The memory of some of the wild orgasms I had with Mark came to the fore and I felt myself starting to get wet just from the memory. It was time to get home and relieve the pressure, so I bade them all goodnight and left.

Once at home I made straight for my bedroom and scrabbled in the drawer until I found one of my favourite vibrators! Gary had kindly left our collection when he cleared his gear out of the house. Since I had returned home, nearly three months before, I had not been with another man. I relieved my frustration with my vibrators. I was buying a lot of batteries, that's for sure!

3. We Had it All -- Moving on

My relationship with my two daughters and son were back on track and things at work were going well too. I had spoken to Hazel and Gemma about the possibility that their father may be on the brink of making Penny a more permanent factor in his live and therefore also theirs. They asked me for my thoughts on this and I told them truthfully that I wished them both the best of luck and every happiness. A fairly long debate followed that, mostly about why I was so happy about it. I patiently tried to explain it to them and in the end they agreed to try being nice to Penny instead of trying to ignore her existence. Christmas was fast approaching and presents were a bit of a problem. I had to ask Hazel what her father needed and the kind of things that Penny liked. The suggestions weren't of much value, so I ended up buying Gary gloves and Penny a silk scarf. They were more token gestures than of any deep meaning. The kids were easier to buy for, they had made their desires very plain.

The only disappointment was that my sex life sucked. I took Sheila's advice about wearing my rings and they had the desired effect and seemed to quell the ardour of the younger males at work. Christmas was particularly hard, I spent the first part of the day alone and felt very isolated until Sheila arrived and we had Christmas dinner together. Around five in the evening Gary and Penny dropped the kids off and they had another batch of presents to open. I gave then a drink and we stood back as they delved into their presents. Hazel was looking a bit miserable and I asked her why the glum face and she told me that she wanted to go to her boyfriend's house, but Gary had forbidden it. I suggested she ring him on her new phone and invite him here. She was so happy about that and it did my heart good to see her like that. I was not so old that I couldn't remember what it felt like. Gary was furious at me for overruling him on this but Penny, whispered into his ear and he apologised to me. "Maybe I was bit too harsh on her and you managed to find a compromise that keeps everyone happy."

fawguy88
fawguy88
540 Followers