We Made A Really Big Mistake

She gave me a hug and kiss on my cheek as she watched me walk down the hall.

After twenty minutes in the shower I still could smell her pussy on me, or at least I thought I did. I guess I had that smell etched into my brain as I tried to justify what I'd done by saying to myself that I did it to help Chris out. Yeah right. If I would have left my tongue in my mouth and not let her blow me I might somehow believe it, but not after all that happened. I was beating myself up for cheating on my wife, the love of my life and trying to figure out how was I going to face her.

I got no sleep that night and was in a daze walking through the airport the next morning. I replayed last night's events over and over in my mind until that was all I was thinking about. The flight was way too short; I needed more time to figure what the hell I was going to do. The hour-long ride from the airport wasn't much better and when I pulled into my driveway I was thankful Shannon wasn't there.

I unpacked and put my dirty clothes in the hamper. I'd thrown away the briefs I'd worn that night and nothing else smelled even vaguely like Chris. I brushed my teeth for the twentieth time since last night and even rinsed my mouth and the outside of my lips with mouthwash, but I could still taste her.

Shannon ran into the house kissing and hugging me all the while telling me how much she'd missed me and all I did was give her this stupid smile. She asked if I was up to a little extra curricular activity or did I want to wait until after dinner? I lied and said I had a few things to finish before work tomorrow and wasn't feeling quite right.

"God, I hope you're not coming down with that flu that's going around," she said feeling my forehead. "You don't feel warm, but just to be on the safe side, finish up what you need to and get into bed. Let's forget going out tonight, I'll bring you up some soup and if your feeling better later maybe you'll let me take advantage of you like you know I can."

"Hell, I just need a little time at home to get my head around this," I said to myself. "It's not like I was looking for it, it found me. Besides, it'll never happen again and Chris was history," I kept saying to myself; and for a while I almost believed it.

Two days later I was in bed waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. I was going to make love to her with such intensity that she'd never let me leave town again. I was hard as a rock and when she came out totally naked I almost lost it she looked so good. I pulled the sheet back on her side and when Shannon yelled, "Here I come," my brain and dick shut down.

"Fuck, that's exactly what Chris had said."

We kissed; I licked and ate her pussy until she screamed with pleasure and then nothing. I was playing with a wet fucking noodle. Shannon tried to give me a blowjob, but all I thought about was Chris sucking me off, an it went nowhere.

"Maybe you're still sick," Shannon said. "If you want I can work on you until you get off," she told me but I begged off.

"We'll pick this up in a few days when I'm better," I told her. "Maybe you shouldn't kiss me either, I wouldn't want you to catch this and give it to Danny. This weekend I'll make it up to you," I said not believing a word that was coming out of my mouth. Shannon kissed me on the head and told me to get a good night sleep, but that didn't happen tonight or any night there after.

So for the next two months my body shut down. I was moody, depressed and basically a walking dead man. I could get her off with my fingers and tongue but I couldn't get it up. I couldn't get Chris out of my head and even went to hypnotist to try and block out the memory of that night, but it didn't work.

Shannon made me get a full physical and when nothing was found, she wanted me to go to a shrink. I told her no that I could work it out, but she got pissed.

"Damn it Steve, it's been over two months. If you could have worked it out, you would have done it by now," she told me. "I'm making you an appointment." She wasn't taking no for an answer.

Believe it or not, it did help to talk to someone about that night. He understood why I did it, but not why I let it get out of hand. I convinced both him and myself that I still loved Shannon and Danny and he finally talked me into coming clean and we agreed Friday was to be the day; that is until something happened at dinner Thursday night.

We'd been invited, by my boss and his wife, to dinner Thursday night, something like a thank you dinner for all the hard work I'd done.

I was feeling pretty good with my decision and was almost looking forward to Friday. The meal was fabulous, the conversation was light and we even danced a half dozen times. Just before we were about to leave, Shannon closed the door on tomorrow night's discussion. Looking on the dance floor she recognized someone we'd both known years ago.

"Steve, look," Shannon, said pointing to a man dancing with a good-looking woman. "There's that asshole Bill and his slut of the month. He was married to a good friend of ours before she caught him fooling around. Mandy tossed his ass to the curb and took him for whatever she could. If it was me, I'd gotten his balls too. A man who cheats on his wife is no better than whale shit," she announced to our group. My boss and his wife agreed with her and I just sat there with that stupid look on my face for the umpteenth time. I was fucking dead.

"Steve you need to change doctors," Shannon yelled at me a week later. "The one you're going to isn't fixing your problem. Maybe you should try that little blue pill they advertise on the TV, maybe it'll work for you," she said now grasping at straws.

I knew what my problem was, and knew how to fix it, but I wasn't ready for that just yet; but I was close. I use to get her off anyway possible, but now she stopped asking. Hell, we hardly kissed any more. When I went to cuddle with her Tuesday, she pulled away for the first time in our marriage. And yes, I did try the little blue pill and for a while I thought we'd solved our problem but them I went limp as always.

A couple of week's later Shannon started going out at night with a few friends from work. She started staying out later and later and when I said something about it, she said that she needed time away from Danny and me to unwind. I was losing her, hell I'd already lost her in my book.

The following week I said the hell with it, I was finished; this had to end. Shannon had gone out with her friends and told me not to wait up because she'd be home late.

"Shannon I'll be waiting up for you when you get home," I told her as I watched her leave with her friends. 11:00, 12:00, 1:00 am came and went and no Shannon. I was frantic and ready to call the police when she walked into the door or should I saw staggered into the door with a tall dark haired man holding her up.

"Steve this is Roger. Roger this is my husband," she said slurring her words. "Roger is going to fuck me again tonight because you can't any more and I need it bad. I told him that it's ok with you, so if you don't mind, we'll get to it," she said leaning against the wall.

"You have three seconds to leave before I kill you," I told Roger. He was gone in less than two.

"Now look what you've done. How do you expect me to get laid if you chase them all away," she said looking at me.

"Come on Shannon, time for bed," I said almost carrying her up the stairs.

I started to undress her but she fought me at every turn.

"I can undress myself, I don't need your damn help," she said as I watched her take her clothes off. When she got down to her bra and panties I saw it, I saw it all. She had hickies on her breasts and her panties were soaked.

"Oops your weren't supposed to see that," she said now covering her mouth as she swayed more than a little bit. "I guess I went a little too far tonight," she said looking at her pussy as she took her soaked panties off. "Well if you weren't going to use it, I found someone who would, and it felt wonderful," she shouted at me.

I pushed her back and onto the bed.

"What are you going to do now big man, are you going to slap me around for getting something you can't give me? You limped dick prick."

I guess I went nuts. I ripped off my shirt as buttons went flying all over the room as she continued to taunt me.

"Oh I'm so scared," she said reaching into her night table. "Here, if you need something long and hard, I've got a vibrator," she said tossing it to me with a laugh.

For the first time in months I got hard. I got so damn hard I think I actually grew an inch or two. I took the vibrator and stuck it into the bedroom wall, as Shannon's eyes got real wide. I threw off my pants, jumped on the bed and fucked the shit out of my wife for the first time in months. I rammed my cock home in one stroke as her eyes bugged out. There was no need for lubrication because she still had someone else's semen still dripping out of her cunt.

Shannon was still tight so the guy couldn't have been that large. It wasn't rape, but it was a far cry from the lovemaking we'd had over the last five years. I slammed away at her well-used pussy taunting her now.

"If this what you want you slut? How do I compare to Roger? I know he fucked you bareback like this, maybe your carrying his kid now?" I yelled as I pounded her pussy with all the anger I'd been keeping inside for the last horrible months. I think she climaxed, I know I sure as hell did as I shot load after load into her now full cunt before pulling out.

"What the fuck did I just do?" I asked myself. I felt sick and ran into the bathroom and tossed my dinner and what was left of my marriage into the shitter. Shannon was now totally out of it thank God. I was done and so was my marriage.

I got cleaned up and went to the hall closet. I got down two big suitcases and tossed them on the bedroom floor. I filled them with as much as they could hold.

"I'll send for the rest of my shit later," I said to myself as I closed them up and dragged them out into the hall.

I took one more look at Shannon. She was now lying on the bed naked in a pool of fluids still looking beautiful to me though. I threw a sheet over her and went into my son's room. I kissed him on the head being careful not to wake him.

"I'm sorry Danny, I never meant to hurt you and your mother," I whispered to him as I closed the door.

I loaded up my car and then went back into the den, grabbed a pad of paper and sat at the kitchen table.

For the next hour and a half I spilled my guts out onto the paper. I told Shannon about Chris and what we did that night. I tried to explain myself and even told her that I was going to tell her a dozen times but kept chickening out.

'I'm not even going to ask for a second chance because I know how you feel about cheaters, I've heard it so many times I know the line by heart. You'd never really forgive me, and it would always be an issue that would be thrown up in my face every time I came home late or we got into an argument. You'd always be wondering if I was cheating on you when I was out of town and I don't think right now our marriage is strong enough to survive it, I'm sorry to say. Nothing you could possibly say to me could compare with what I've said to myself over the last couple of months. I've beaten myself down so much I've got nothing left inside anymore. I will, however, not abandon you and Danny. I maybe a cheater but not a total louse. You two will still be on my insurance and medical. All my checks, from now on, will go directly into our or should I say your checking account. That way you will have more than enough money to take care of everything. Find an attorney and tell him to draw up the divorce papers and I'll sign them; I know you'll be fair. I'll talk to my brothers about moving my stuff out of the house as soon as possible so you won't have to worry about it.'

I apologized for letting it go this far and finally said I didn't blame her for finding someone else.

"It was my fault and my fault alone for driving you into someone else's arms. I just want to say I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I'll always love you and Danny."

I signed it, sealed it and put my wedding ring and cell phone on top of the envelope and went on with my life.

The following morning I was waiting for my boss to arrive.

"Steve, what's up, I thought you were on your way to Charlotte this morning," he said to me.

"I'm leaving in a couple of minutes, I just have a few things to do with H.R. before I left," I told him. "I plan on doing a full east coast swing of all the jobsites starting this week. It'll take me about seven weeks but that will leave everyone else available in the office for other projects."

"Shannon will have my ass if I let you do that," he replied.

I gave him a two-cent recap of my current position and told him I needed the time away to get my act together and start my life again.

"I'm sorry about you and Shannon. You guys were so happy, but if this is what you need to do, so be it. So, keep in touch and if you need anything let me know personally."

We shook hands and we each went our own way. I instructed H.R. to direct deposit my weekly checks into my checking account at least until I got back. I took an expense draw to cover meals, hotels and after giving my secretary, Cary, my new cell phone number I was off.

I would normally fly, but with making nine stops and renting cars, it was easier and cheaper for me to take my own car. The first two weeks were rough and it took all my strength to keep focused on what I was there to do. I called or e-mailed Cary every other day to update her on the jobs and she'd tell me that either my parents or Shannon had called and needed to talk to me. Like always, I told her to just take a message and I'd get back to them when I was able.

My parents didn't understand how I could just walk away from my wife and child, I guess Shannon hadn't told them the real reason yet, no matter. I just said it was my decision and to back off. Dad did, but not mom.

Shannon just left short messages that she wanted to talk to me, but I thought what was the point. Trust was a huge issue with her and I'd blown that big time. After a couple of weeks I half expected paperwork but Cary said I had nothing waiting for me, yet anyway.

The next three weeks were much easier. I caught a few errors and had to scramble more than once to get everything done. An irate customer was going to cancel a job and it took me two days to convince him otherwise.

"Give me a week and if you're still not satisfied, I'll pull off my crew and we'll part ways," I told him. The crew and I worked twelve to fourteen hour days to finish on time. Hell, I had to overnight more than one part, but in the end it was worth it.

"Steve, I didn't think you could do it, but I'm happily surprised you did, and a day early at that," he said shaking my hand. "You're a man of your word and I've expressed my satisfaction to both my boss and yours," he said offering to take me out for drinks after work.

"I'd love to, but I'm heading out tonight and drinking and driving is one mistake I'm not about to make. I'd made enough over the last few months," I said to myself.

The last four jobs went as smooth as butter. Cary and I went over each the day before I got there so I knew exactly what to expect. The crews all started to call me the energizer bunny because when I hit the jobsite I never stopped until the project was done, and done right.

"Isn't it time for you to go back to the home office?" my foreman Kenny said to me one night. "Don't you have someone at home that's waiting for you to get back," he said with a laugh ribbing me.

"Use to, don't any more," I told him.

"Sorry Steve, it was supposed to be a joke," he said.

It was, only it was on me.

It took me a total of eight weeks to finish all the jobs. I had one inspection left to do before heading back home and I was dead tired. I'd lost probably ten pounds over the last four months and thought with eating out on the road I'd gain it back but had lost probably another five. "No more love handles," I said looking in the mirror before going down to eat.

I was sitting at a table by myself when a short redhead walked over to my table.

"Do you mind if I join you? I've been on the road for two weeks and I'm tired of eating alone," she told me.

I stood up, pulled out a chair and handed her my menu. "The steaks and seafood are top notch, but stay away from the chicken," I told her.

We talked for about two hours. She told me that she was married and had two kids at home. I told her that I had one at home but was separated and was probably getting a divorce. I gave her the ten-cent tour of my life, including Chris, and she said she was sorry to hear it. The one thing she did tell me was to touch base with Shannon because maybe she'd had a change of heart; she didn't know Shannon. We parted after dinner and I wished her the best and she me.

It was a six hour drive to my last inspection and the state inspector was there waiting for me. We went over the drawings, specifications and I finally started up the conveyors and everything for him. After a couple of hours he signed off on the project, we shook hands and I was done. Eight weeks, nine jobs and I was done and exhausted, but my boss was elated.

"Take a couple of days off and I'll see you Monday," he told me. "I hope you got your head around your problem, because there aren't any more inspections for at least a month," he said snickering.

I told him I was going to take the scenic route home and headed back to the hotel. I packed up, checked out of the hotel and started the eighteen-hour trek towards home, or what used to be home.

I called Cary and told her I wouldn't see her until Monday morning and she asked if I'd called Shannon. When I told her no, she gave it to me with both barrels.

"You've been gone for over eight weeks and haven't called her yet? Are you nuts? She's called you every week and left a message for you to call her and you didn't? You really are an asshole boss," she told me.

"Easy Cary, you're treading on thin ice here," I replied. "Oh by the way, did I get any packages while I was out?" I asked.

"Nope. Besides all the crap mail and a few invoices, you'd never know you've been gone for two months," she told me. "Just what do you do?" she said now joking with me.

"If I wasn't so tired, I'd think of a good comeback, but I just want to get home and sleep for two days straight and get drunk, not necessarily in that order," I told her. We said our goodbyes and I drove for another eight hours before stopping for the night.

The Best Western was nice, but didn't have a restaurant attached, so I made the trip downtown. I grabbed a quick bite at a Denny's and took a tour of the town. The strip bar called to me.

It was very dark inside and it took me more than a few minutes for my eyes to adjust. A Corona and a few munchies and I was set for the next hour. One by one the girls danced, stripped and did more than a few moves with the pole on stage. Hell, they were in better shape than I thought. A few tried to hustle me for drinks, but I turned them all down. When the last girl in the rotation hit the stage I thought it was Shannon. If she hadn't been a Redhead and about four inches taller I would have sworn it was her.

She moved up and down the pole as guys stuffed tips into her bottoms as the extremely large bouncer watched. At the end of her number, I told the bartender I wanted to buy her a drink.

"Hey sailor, I hear you want to buy me a drink," she said as she introduced herself. "My name is Candy, because I'm so sweet I'd melt in your mouth."

"And I bet you would," I replied asking her to name her poison. We both knew the bottle contained nothing but over priced tea, but what the hell.